I tell ya, I'll get through these if it takes all weekend! (And it will, to. 
^_~)

   "I told you, Pop," Ranma said.  "I can't teach you,
I didn't really learn it, it just happened!."  Ranma
frowned, he hated getting knowledge like that.  He

Ranma 2.0, now with Instant Upload Ability option!

didn't understand the basis of it, and couldn't repeat
the information to anybody.
   He knew how to inact change forms between most any

'He knew how to inact change forms...' -suggest--> 'He knew how to enact the 
transformation between most animals...'

animal from the size of a mouse to the size of a large
bear.  He just didn't understand how it happened, and
hadn't taken the chance to try out these new tricks to
see if he could reverse engineer the knowledge.

That phrase is a tad confusing. Perhaps just 'reverse?'

   At the moment he was staying in one of his six
"true" forms, trying to remember exactly what
happened.  He remembered the demon, he remembered
some...thing entering him, her at the time, and then a

RANMA: I woke up and was covered in--
GENMA: *whack* Enough out of you, boy! This isn't a lemon!
RANMA: Well, how do you know that? I AM a Kitsune!

blur of images followed by his pop splashing him with
hot water.
   There was a certain degree of urgency involved
here, something about that demon and the end of the

'...urgency involved here...' -suggest--> '...urgency involved as well,...'

worlds that he had to do something to stop.  It had

Do you mean 'worlds' or 'world?'

been all so clear for a moment and then, gone, a
confused jumble.

'...clear for a moment and then, gone, a confused jumble.' -suggest--> 
'...clear for a moment, and then ended up in a confused jumble.'

   "Sirs, perhaps there is help in the surrounding
villages," the Guide suggested.  "The Amazon elders
have great stores of knowledge about Jusenkyo."

'stores' -should be--> 'stories'

   Ranma nodded politely, that wouldn't help his
situation.  Jusenkyo was a shapechanging magic, but
something else had made him a natural shapechanger,
something the curse would usually just roll right off

-suggest--> 'Jusenkyo was shape-changing magic, but something else had made 
him a natural shapeshifter, something that the curse would not have an 
affect on.'

of.  Of course, the curse had made one parting shot,
which is why Ranma had six forms he considered true
and natural rather than the standard three for a
hengeyokai.
   "Amazons," Genma scoffed.  "How would a bunch of
women help us?"
   "Oh very powerful, sirs, very strong," the Guide
explained.  "They have much wisdom gathered over three
thousand years."
   "Sounds good," Ranma said.  "An' then maybe on the
way I can figure out what the trick to this is."
~I'll need to learn more, I might need to teach one of
the others.~
   Ranma paused as he tried to remember what others.

'Ranma paused as he tried to remember what others.' -suggest--> 'Ranma 
paused as he tried to remember just what others there were.'

Whatever that spirit had done before she died, and
Ranma was sure she died, he wished she could have gone
about it in a better way.

This can be in one paragraph, since it's still following the same line of 
thought.

   There is no way Ranma could, or would unless
desparate, teach someone the same way.  The most he
would impart was a basic instinct to such between the
natural forms.  If they wanted to become master
shapeshifters, well, they'd just have to wait until he
learned how he did what he did.
   Ranma did NOT like instant ability like this.  It
completely messed his ability to judge what was
possible.

You might want to find a way to reword that last paragraph.
-suggest--> Ranma did NOT like such instant abilities. It messed with his 
ability to judge what and what wasn't possible.
Depending on what you meant here, of course.

   "What are saying boy," Genma demanded.  "We don't

'"What are saying boy," Genma demanded.' -should be--> '"What are you saying 
boy?" Genma demanded.'

have time to be stopping so you can sow some oats."

'stopping' -should be--> 'stop'

   "Ehh?  I know why I want to hurry, why do you?"
Ranma asked.  "Never mind, Pop, there'll be food
there."

A bit rough.
-suggest--> "Eh? I know why I want to hurry, why do you..." Ranma shook his 
head. "Never mind, Pop. There'll be food there."

   "What are we doing just standing there boy?" Genma
demanded.  "Get moving to that village!"

************

   Ranma walked behind Genma, so he could keep an eye
on the old fart, and practice a little undisturbed.
First thing she had discovered was that her male and
female body's were in approximately the same physical
condition, though SHE was faster and HE was stronger.

So does that make her a minute woman? ^__~

*snip*

   That wasn't the only change, he/she felt as she
changed behind her father.  Ranma's chi control was

'...she changed behind...' -suggest--> '...she morphed behind...'

much better and her chi had been heightened greatly.
There was also a very strong elemental nature to her
aura, and not of any one particular element either.
He'd have to play around with his chi a little to
figure out what he could and couldn't do now.

Don't need the 'now' on the end.

*snip*

   Ranma paused as her recently enhanced chi senses
picked up on something in the area.  She hadn't found
it yet when she noted one of the contestants, and

'She hadn't found it yet when she noted...' -suggest--> 'She was still 
searching when she noted...'

behind her in the crowd.  She could find that big chi
aura in a moment, probably an elder and unsuitable,
but...
   "Two and three," Ranma whispered, only barely aware
of what he meant by that.  Then she frowned.
"Ohhh...she did NOT just call me that."

************

   Cologne turned as she felt the strong chi that had
entered the village.  It wasn't entirely human,

COLOGNE: I feel a strong disturbance in the Chi.
RANMA: Huh?
COLOGNE: As if millions of authors cried out in terror, and then were 
suddenly silenced...

seemingly tied into the elements that made up the
world and life.  Finding the outsider was the nearest
thing to instantaneous she had ever accomplished.
   The red head started for the first prize table,
making Cologne's mouth quirk up.  Perhaps the spirit
folk, or whatever she was, would give her
granddaughter a taste of humility.  That was not to be
however, as the girl stopped and shrugged.  Cologne
sighed for the lost chance at some amusement and
continued to watch the stranger.
   The girl suddenly started looking about the area as
she felt Cologne, or perhaps some other of the elders.

'...looking around the area as she felt Cologne...' -suggest--> '...looking 
around the area as she sensed Cologne...'

GENMA: I certainly hope so. I didn't raise you to feel up old ladies, boy!
RANMA: OYAJI NO BAKA! *Punt*

 Then the girl's eyes stopped, focused on the
tournament and the crowd beyond.  She blinked a
moment, and Cologne watched her mouth three words in
Japanese.
   Looking down the line of the girl's sight, Cologne
found Shampoo awaiting her next round, and behind her
Mousse cheering her on.
   ~What interest does that girl have in my
granddaughter,~ Cologne wondered as Shampoo stepped up

'...that girl have in my granddaughter,~' -should be--> '...that girl have 
in my granddaughter?~'

to her next, and final round.  Then fate stepped in.

*snip*

   The second reason was the animal spirit that
Shampoo was most allied with.  This was far more
intimidating to Ranma's mind, though for once the very
thought didn't send him screaming in for.  She'd just

'...didn't send him screaming in for.' -should be?--> '...didn't send him 
screaming in terror.'

have to remember to ask somebody else to work with the
girl more often.
   ~Why a cat?~ she asked.  She had power though, and
tenacity.  That was very good for what was coming.
Ranma frowned and wished she could put together more
than a fragment thought of what was coming.
   "Uh, sir," the Guide said behind him.  "What you
doing?"  Ranma turned around to see his father
demolishing the first prize feast amongst the stares
of many Amazons.
   "KUSO-OYAJI!!!!" Ranma shouted just before the
table exploded as a bonbori impacted it.
   "Why did you let your panda eat my prize?" Shampoo
demanded.  Ranma was about to answer when the Guide
translated.
   ~Hmm, probably a good idea to let them think I
don't know the language for now,~ Ranma said, then
realized that she knew the language.  She blinked,
growled and then spoke to the guide.  "Could you try
to explain Pop to her?"
   Ranma smacked her father on the head and growled at
him.  The panda grumbled as if to ask what that was
for.
   "That was the prize for the tournament jerk!" Ranma
explained.  The girl spoke again.
   "She say give her panda as payment," the Guide
said.
   "Can't do that," Ranma said.  The Guide translated.
   "Then she say if you beat her then the prize would
be yours," the Guide say.
   "A duel for the feast, eh?" Ranma asked listening
to the various comments around her.  Something about a
no-win situation and the kiss of death.  ~Well, that's
convenient...just have to make sure I win.  Should be
easy.~
   That powerful aura approached again and he saw a
withered old woman sitting on a stick, judging by the
auras, she was related to the girl.  Then that boy she

'Then that...' -suggest--> 'Then the...'

had seen earlier approached and glared at her, making
overly protective comments under his breath.
   "I'm game."  Ranma fought to keep her smirk in
place as she answered, wondering if either of the
other people would interfere.
   She considered her plan carefully, viewing as she

'...viewing as she would any battle.' -suggest--> '...viewing the situation 
as she would any other battle.'

would any battle.  Only the rules and goals of this
battle were vastly different.

************

   Cologne pogoed forward to watch the situation with
a sense of concern.  The red-head was an unknown
quantity, and she had not missed that the girl did not
need to be told that the feast was a prize.  Which
probably meant that she was going into this with eyes
wide open about the Kiss of Death.
   Cologne moved to her daughter and laid a hand on
her arm.
   "Be careful young one," Cologne warned.  "I suspect
there is a trap in this game for you."
   "The trap is for her, Grandmother," Shampoo
insisted.  "She loses, she dies.  She wins, she still
dies when I kill her later.  Besides, is too late now,
I offered, she accepted.  I can't back out now."
   "That is true," Cologne nodded.  "But you should
know that your opponent is only partially human, there
is a touch of something in her that has not been
common since the days I was born."  Shampoo blinked
and looked at the red-haired girl more cautiously now.
   "She is still somewhat human," Shampoo said
finally.  "She can die."
   "But Xian Pu, if the old monkey is right then you
could be killed!" Mousse moaned.  That settled
Shampoo's mind, a bonbori smash to Mousse's head later
and she was on the log.

-suggest--> 'That settled Shampoo's mind. A bonbori smash to Mousse's head 
later, she was up on the log.

   Genma meanwhile sat and peacefully munched while
Amazons were visually measuring him for a throw rug.
He was quite confident in his son's ability to win,
and settled down to watch the show.
   As expected it was short, sweet and to the point.

'As expected it was short, sweet and to the point.' -suggest--> 'As 
expected, it was short, sweet, and to the point.'

*snip*

   Then came the kiss.
   It was like molten rock and freezing sleet being
rammed down her throat while animals howled into the
night sky.  It was ecstatic and painful all at once.
   Then it was over.

SHAMPOO: ... I need a cigarette.
RANMA: Damn, I'm smooth.
NODOKA: My son is such a manly man! *swoon*

*snip*

   "What do you think it is elder?" one of the others
asked.  Cologne shrugged.
   "Perhaps this is a technique called the Kiss of
Death and the outsider was defending her life,"

Um... that doesn't make sense. Ellaboration? ^^;

Cologne said.  "But the girl showed an interest in
Shampoo from the moment she saw my granddaughter.  I
do not yet know her intentions."  A few more Amazons
arrived, bearing a stretcher with Mousse in a similar
state of affairs.
   "We found him about two miles outside of the
village," the women said.  "It looks as if he had been
defeated and immobilized before receiving
that...attack."  They didn't know what else to call
it.
   "Apparently she had an interest in Mousse as well,"
Cologne said, looking over the blind boy's chi.  "What
was she here for?"

************

   Doll watched smuggly at the insensate pair of
Amazons in the  infirmary.  She would never have
fallen for such a cheap trick.  Still the girl had
humiliated her in front of the village.  Outpowering
HER, she was the strongest of the village, not that
little runt.  Perhaps she should try to mix something
into the girl's medicine.

Once again, another great chapter. Little rough on the edges, but those 
things happen in writing. Again, all is merely my advice to be taken or left 
at your discretion. ^_^

-Kenji M.

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