This is the sixth chapter of an alernate universe fic based on the idea
of Ukyou arriving in Nerima before Ranma.  So far she's befriended
Akane Tendou and ended her feud with Ranma.  However, neither of them
know her true gender. Earlier chapters of the story can be found at
http://www.geocities.com/fenwulf16/.  As always any and all comments
are welcome.  

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or any of the ideas associated with
it.  Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan, Inc. do.  Rights in North 
America
belong to Viz Communications


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6

     Ranma raced into my restaurant, letting the door slam behind her
and then vaulted over the counter, ignoring the few patrons that still
lingered over their food.  She usually wasn't that enthusiastic about
her entrances even on the days when she was working.

     "Ranma, what are you doing," I asked as she crouched down beside
me.

     "Never mind that.  You've got to hide me," she whispered.

     "Ranma-."  Before I could finish my sentence the door was almost
torn off the hinges as a longhaired Chinese girl wearing a leather
breastplate and brandishing a long, slender, double-edged sword stormed
inside.

     "Where Ranma?" she demanded in broken Japanese.

     Now, I'm not on the best of terms with Ranma all the time, but I
got the impression that she had something fairly irreversible in mind.
"I'm sorry, but I haven't seen him."

     Her eyes narrowing in suspicion, the intruder announced, "Shampoo
looking for girl!"

     "Sorry, but Ranma sounds like a boys name to me.  I could be wrong
though."  I shrugged helplessly and spread my hands to demonstrate my
innocence.  With a curt nod to show she understood, Shampoo turned on
her heel and stormed back out, fortunately with slightly less force. 
The frightened customers weren't far behind and some of them didn't pay

although I can't say I blame them.  That girl was scary.

     "Thanks, Ucchan," Ranma said, rising to her feet.  "I was a little
worried there."

     "I have just one question, what did you do to her?"  A sudden
suspicion crossed my mind.  "She's not the girl that Ryouga mentioned,
is
she?"

     "No!  I already told ya, I ain't taken advantage of any girls.
Ranma waited for a moment and then seeing I wasn't going to interrupt
continued, "She's from this village close to Jusenkyo.  The guide took
Pop and me there the day after we got cursed.  Anyway, they were having
this tournament and Shampoo was fighting this other, um, I'm pretty
sure
it was a girl.  Anyway, we didn't watch fer long cause we were really
hungry."

     I winced and slapped my hand against my forehead.  "You stole food
from her?  No wait, that doesn't make any sense."

     "We sorta ate the banquet for the winner of the tournament.
Anyway, I challenged her and one so that wasn't a problem."

     "Really?  I'd hate to see what you think is a problem."

     "Turns out it was a village of Chinese Amazons and they have some
stupid law about having to kill any outsider who defeats them."  Ranma
snorted in disgust.  "They're nothing but a bunch of sore losers if you
ask me."

     "Just wait a second.  You can tell me the rest of it while I close
up."

     Ranma shrugged eloquently.  "It all started while I visiting a
shrine with Nabiki..."

=================

     Ranma smiled happily.  So far things had gone according to plan
he'd developed after talking with Ukyou.  Nabiki had enjoyed the
scenery, they'd prayed at the shrine and he was about to buy her a cute
but inexpensive souvenir.  Best of all, there weren't any signs that it
was turning overly romantic.

     "I'll take the little cat, Ranma."  Nabiki leaned over Ranma's
shoulder to indicate the correct figurine.

     Ranma sighed and reached for his wallet.  Nothing was ever
perfect.

     "So I suppose you're planning on studying now," Nabiki commented
as
they began walking towards the shrines exit.

     "What for?"

     "The test?  Yuo know where they try to figure out how much you
really know?  Oh, never mind.  I don't think even a prayer will help
you if you don't
study."

     "Ah, it's not that important.  I'm a martial artist anyway."

     "So you think martial arts are all you need," Nabiki asked,
raising
one eyebrow.  She moved fractionally closer to Ranma as the two stepped
onto the bridge that crossed the shrine's small stream.

     "I am the best," Ranma confidently stated, his chest swelling
slightly.

     "Really?"  Nabiki abruptly leaned hard against Ranma, sending him
flailing into the water.  "Maybe you need to work at that as well."  A
small smirk escaped her as she looked down at the small girl sitting in
the gently flowing water.

     "Very funny," Ranma grumbled as he reached upwards to take
Nabiki's
hand.  After an almost imperceptible pause, she allowed the taller girl
to pull her from the water.

     "Maybe I-"  Whatever else Nabiki was going to say went unheard
when
a nearby tree exploded, splinters of wood spraying them and the upper
portion of the trunk narrowly missing the bridge they were standing on.

     "Ranma!  I kill!"  Holding two outsized bonbori, Shampoo, charged
forward, ignoring the shock of the others who had come to the shrine.

     "Oh shit!  S-shampoo."  Without thinking, Ranma danced aside from
a
thrown bonbori and scooped Nabiki into her arms and set off running.
Moments later she realized that carrying her fiancee was both slowing
her down and putting Nabiki at risk.  Unfortunately with Shampoo close
behind Ranma couldn't slow to set her down.

     "Put me down!" Nabiki shrieked, having a clear view of their
pursuer.  Shampoo had somehow produced a sword from within her rather
baggy clothing to compliment her remaining bonbori.

     A sudden intake of breath from Nabiki warned Ranma and she darted
to the right just in time to see Shampoo's second bonbori flash past
her.  A burst of speed opened some distance between her and Shampoo and
Ranma was quick to take advantage.  Leaping to the roof of one of the
first houses she passed, Ranma set Nabiki down and then jumped to the
ground in order to lead Shampoo away.

 ================

     "...Anyway I lost Shampoo a while after that and headed back to
the
Tendous'.  She spotted me again when I was passing by outside and you
know the rest."

     "She chased you all the way across China?  It sounds like she's
going to be persistent." I commented.

     "Ya don't think?  About the only thing I can do is avoid cold
water
ant that's not working so good."

     "Maybe not, but you only changed because Nabiki splashed you.  If
you explain what's going on to everyone, they can help out."  I paused
thinking for a moment.  Shampoo's behavior seemed remarkably similar to
Ryouga's.  Maybe there was something useful there.  "Anyway, you'd
better wait here while I get you some hot water."

     Ranma looked around quizzically.  "Akane isn't coming for a
cooking
lesson today?" he asked.

      "No, she's busy with schoolwork.  Maybe you should try it
sometime."

     "What is it with everyone?  First Nabiki and now you."  Ranma
threw
her arms up in the air in disgust.

     "Sorry, Ranma, but I'm running my own business and I keep up."

  I took a quick glance around the restaurant.  "If you'll help me
clean up afterwards, I'll fix you some food.  Things goes a lot quicker
with two people."

     "I guess so, all that running works up an appetite."  Ranma smiled
slightly.  "I guess things aren't so bad."

   
=================

     It rained that night, which was a surprise considering the how
pleasant the
day had been and it continued the following day. I had to avoid
puddles of water while walking back from school, but I'd had the
foresight to bring an umbrella.  Somehow, I wasn't surprised to find a
small black pig huddled forlornly in the doorway.

     "I guess you can come in," I said, scooping the small animal up,
"you'd better keep out of sight though.  People don't like animals in
places where food is being prepared."

     "Talking to yourself, Ukyou?" Ranma asked, water dripping from her
sodden clothes.

     "Don't do that!"  I yelled as I nearly dropped P-chan in surprise,
but managed
to tighten my grip at the last moment.

     "Whatever.  Come on and open up.  I don't want to stand around out
here where Shampoo could see me."

     I grumbled a bit at Ranma's impatience, but I could see his point.
"You haven't got rid of her yet?"

     "You've got to be joking, Shampoo is one stubborn chick.  She even
followed Pop back to the Tendous'.  Now she thinks I'm hiding myself
from her."

     "You are."  Chuckling at Ranma's rolled eyes was probably bad
form.

     Business wasn't good that day.  Normally I get a fair amount of
walk-in traffic, but with the bad weather even some of my regulars
didn't
come.  When closing time finally arrived, I was hoping that Akane would
find the time for her cooking lesson.  That worried me a bit for some
reason, but by the time Akane showed up I'd pushed it to the back of my
mind.

     "Hi, Ukyou, sorry I'm late." Akane said, closing the bright pink
umbrella she'd used to shield herself from the rain.  "I was hoping the
rain would let up a bit."

     "That's fine."

     "I think I'll stay here for a while," Ranma said flatly.

     "That's right, Shampoo's probably still waiting for you."

     Akane grinned smugly.  "I already took care of that.  I told her
if
she wanted to know about the girl she was chasing she should ask Kunou.
The two of them deserve each other anyway."

     "That should-." Before I could finish, the front wall of my
restaurant exploded inward. Even through the dust and flying debris I
could make out a slender form holding two spherical objects.

  "Ranma, I kill!" Shampoo snarled, sounding dishearteningly fierce.

     Ranma immediately tried to make herself as small as possible in a
vain effort to escape detection.  Beside me, I felt Akane slip into a
fighting stance and instinctively stepped in front of her.
Unfortunately, that left me clutching a small cooking spatula when
Shampoo shouted something in Chinese and charged towards me.  In
desperation, I hurled the spatula towards Shampoo.  The Amazon had just
started to sidestep the projectile when suddenly she pitched forward
and crashed headfirst into the counter.

     "What happened?" Ranma asked as Shampoo slumped limply to the
floor.

     "Bwee!" P-chan proudly proclaimed from where he stood by Shampoo's
feet.

     "That certainly was brave of you."  P-chan struggled briefly as
Akane took hold of him, seeming almost embarrassed.

     "Never mind that," Ranma said, pointing at the fallen Amazon,
"what
are we going to do about her?"

     "I don't know, but we can't leave her on the floor."  Bending
over,
I picked Shampoo up and placed her on a cleared section of the counter.
I was considering whether tying Shampoo up would be a good idea when
her
eyes slowly fluttered open.  For a second she stared into my eyes and
then she spoke.

     "Airen."  Reaching upward, she pulled my head down until my lips
met hers.

     "Whoa!  It wasn't like that when she gave me the kiss of death."

     Stunned into immobility, I remained in position until Akane
grabbed
hold of my ponytail and jerked me out of Shampoo's grasp.

     "Just what are you doing?"  Akane's voice was frosty, but the gaze
she was directing at Shampoo burned with anger.

     Unconcerned, the Amazon swung her legs off the counter and stood.
Producing a small book, she opened it and pressed it into my reluctant
hands.

     "An  Amazon who is defeated by an outsider male must marry him?" 
I
could hardly believe my eyes, but Shampoo was nodding happily.  I knew
my disguise had drawbacks, but this was one that had never occurred to
me.

     "Ukyou wasn't the one that beat you, it was P-chan here," Akane
said sadistically, while patting her pet lightly on the head.

     "You're lucky he's a guy pig.  The two of you will make a great
couple."  It was only the split second that Shampoo spent clutching for
her absent weapons that let me grab hold of her before she reached
Ranma.

     "Hold it!  I'm not going to let you wreck anymore of my
restaurant.  How are you going to pay for what you've already done?"
Shampoo abruptly relaxed, just before she would have managed to slip
free of my grasp."

     "Shampoo work.  Stay here."

     "Shampoo, I don't think that's a good idea.  I really wouldn't be
proper for the two of us to stay under one roof, especially since we
don't know each other."

     "Amazons pay back debt," Shampoo explained nodding happily.

     "I really don't need any help right now so-."  I jerked my body
backwards as Shampoo started to run her fingers down my chest.  "You're
not listening are you?"

     "Don't worry Ukyou, if you want her to stay here she can," Akane
said calmly and from far too close a distance for my comfort."

     "I don't want that."  I looked around for support, but Ranma
seemed
to have left while I was distracted.

     "I'll just leave P-chan here to make sure nothing happens.  You'll
do that, won't you, P-chan?"  Holding her pet up so she could stare
into
his eyes, Akane smiled when P-chan nodded.

=================

     "A lady can trust you to keep her secrets, can't she P-chan?"  I
smiled as the pig nodded again.  Akane must have taught him to do that.
"This has been a really strange day."

     That was no more than the truth, especially with a pig for a
chaperone.  I'd taken some bedding down for Shampoo and gotten her
settled into a spare storeroom.  However, I still wished I had a lock
for my bedroom door or at least some heavy furniture I could move in
front of it.  Attending an all-boys school I hadn't had much experience
with other girls, but the Amazon's intentions were painfully obvious.

     "Turn around now, I'm going to change into my pajama's."  I don't
know why I bothered, but P-chan obediently turned to face the wall.
After considering it, I decided to leave my breasts bound.  It probably
wouldn't help if things went that far and it would be uncomfortable,
but
it could pay off.

     "Okay I'm done."  Setting my battle spatula and the bandoleer of
throwing spatulas within reach of the bed, I turned off the light.
Moments later I was lying in bed with P-chan's small warmth curled up
beside me.

=================

     The sound of splintering wood jerked me to awareness.  My eyes
opened just in time to see my dresser collapse, while one of Shampoo's
bonbori gouged a crater into my bedroom wall, barely missing a small
black blur.  I blinked and the blur resolved into P-chan facing Shampoo
from across the room.

     "Get out!"  Bringing my hands down, I sent a spray of spatula
shuriken across the room, one of them pinning several of Shampoo's
hairs
to the wall.  By the time I could grab my larger spatula, those hairs
were the only trace of Shampoo remaining.  Unfortunately, I could tell
she'd been here.

     Grumbling, I rolled out of bed, while P-chan took up a station
guarding the door.  I quickly donned my school uniform and then glanced
into the small mirror hanging on the wall.  Satisfied that I was at
least marginally presentable, I started down the stairs.

     When I arrived, I found Shampoo sitting at the counter, almost
radiating depression.

     "What were you doing?" I demanded angrily.

     "Shampoo try to make Airen happy," Shampoo explained turning
soulful eyes my way.
 
     "Waht?  Never mind."  I took a deep breath to calm myself and then
started again.  "Shampoo, you can't stay here," I began, carefully
keeping my voice
steady, "I can't afford this kind of damage."

     "Shampoo know."  Her depression had lifted slightly, but she was
still far more subdued than the night before.  If she hadn't destroyed
half my restaurant, snuck into my room while I was sleeping and tried
to
kill one of my friends, I might have felt sorry for her.  Almost.

     "It's not that big a deal.  You can go back to China or find a job
somewhere else," I explained.

     "Shampoo not give up.  You see strength of Amazon woman."  With
those final words, Shampoo pushed her way past the tarp hanging over
the
hole she'd created and walked off.

=================

       Since it would be a couple of days before the workmen would
finish repairing all the damage and I could reopen, I decided to stop
by
the Tendos' after school and visit Akane.  I approached the front gate,
I heard voices speaking.  Out of curiosity, I slowed and decided to
listen.

     "Understand some Chinese ... Western style ham and eggs..."  The
first voice was a man and sounded familiar, but it was too faint to
identify.

     "I understand, Ryoga.  You telling me this is a real help."  The
second voice was definitely Akane and she'd identified the first
speaker
for me.

     Rounding the corner, I caught sight of the a moment before they
saw
me, but neither of them seemed very surprised.  That probably meant
there was nothing between them, but the thought gave me an idea of my
own.

     "Hi, Akane, Ryouga."

     "Hello, Ukyou.  Nice day isn't it?"  Fortunatly, Akane didn't seem
concerned about last night, although Ryouga was more reserved for some
reason.

     "Ryouga, do you think you could do me a small favor?" I asked,
after nodding to Akane.

     The bandanna wearing martial artist shrugged noncommittally.  "I
guess so, if it's not to much trouble."

     "Great!  I'd like you to take somebody out on a date."

     "D-Date?"  I'd expected him to be a little shy, but his expression
of utter shock caught me off guard.

     "Sure.  You haven't meant her, but she's cute and
very...um...spirited."  Now that I thought about it, telling someone as
shy as Ryouga too many details about Shampoo might be
counterproductive.  A lot of guys might find her personality a little
terrifying.

     "D-Date?  I mean- Sure!  I'll be there."  Ryouga laughed
hysterically and nervously crushed a handful of stone from the Tendous'
wall.

     As  I watched him, I decided that I'd leave out a few details for
Shampoo as well.  The two of them would be perfect for each other
though.  Now I just had a few minor details to arrange.

     "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Akane asked.

     "It's worth a try."  

End Chapter 6

Kent Hyam




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