More madness from you I see

Oh no?!
Oh, YES!!!
Oh dear...

And that pretty much sums up my feelings from seeing you post something new.

So, I'll just do what I always have: make something up and hope
nobody notices how completely, glaringly WRONG it all is. Either
that or take whatever suggestions and corrections others have to
offer. Besides, if no one knows it's wrong, it ain't wrong!!! ^_^

Your stuff is offbeat humor enough that any abuses you level on the source
material will probably be forgiven. :)

Well, typical for a smoggy day in the nineteenth century where
the coal smoke gave all the visitors a lovely case of highly
malignant lung cancer in less than one hour flat.

Yeah. It was for the best. Everyone knew that clean air would kill you. :)

This particular English prank, thus initiated in the Year of
Our Lord Nineteen Hundred and Some, involved blotting out the sun,
sending a horde of rather unpleasant beasties of the undead variety
to torment the populace amidst a thick, foul-smelling black fog.

Londonite: (to an undead) I say, old chap. Are you from Poland? You rather
look like it. Do you have any sausages by chance? Local stuff is just plain
bland, I tell you.

In a flash of light, an

a

tan-skinned, orange-haired girl

appeared atop a tall building. She had on a cutesy pink, blue,
white, and red sailor suit with bows and ribbons. On her shoulders
were small, circular emblems with the colours from the flags of
France, the fashion capital of the world.

Yeah, right. Like the French can save anyone. They can't even save
themselves. :)

Before even bothering to scout out her position, the girl
instantly went through a series of overdone, vertebrae-popping,
super-contorted posing and gestures, all the while exclaiming, "I am
the Cute and Fluffy Formerly Oneshot Warrior for Love and Justice,
Sailor Stylin'! I fight for Beauty and Fashion! None of you Evil,
EVIL, Nasty monsters are even CLOSE to being up to date in the
Wonderful, Wyld World of Fashion Design! On behalf of Models
Everywhere, I will-GWAAAAH!!!"

Why, it's a female version of Zoolander. :)

Or, it would have allowed her a soft landing had a razor-
winged vampire not screeched in her path, cutting the ribbon. The
gaunt, pale-skinned creature bared its fangs and swooped downward to
catch her and flew upwards, hissing in triumph.

Heh. She's not having a good day.

"Shhh," Mina said, putting a finger to her lips before letting
go of Stylin' and allowing her to stand. "Call me Sailor V right
now," she added peering at the girl who was exactly her height and
build, "and where's your mask?"

"Oh, come on," Stylin' sighed, "masks are _so_ last week!"

'Sides, it works for the Sailor Scouts.

Stylin' mimicked her friend's action by slamming a gloved fist
into her other hand and shook her head. "I'm not backing out. V's my
friend, and if there's one thing my daddy taught me, it's
perseverance."

Stylin': And that it's better to look good, than feel good.

Artemis's eyes lit up. He hopped up to a flowerbox on the wall,
and from there, leapt into the room where S and V were standing. "I
just remembered something I have that might help."

The cat made a flip in the air.

And turned into a space ship. It turned out he had absorbed a Ryo-Oh-Ki on
the way.

"Things are getting worse," Artemis said, glancing down the
street. A team of zombies with football equipment and numbers on
their shirts was going for a home run

Should be touchdown, unless you're mixing metaphors. Rather like Mina, that
way. :)

Downtown London was a mess.

The Picadilly(sp?) Circus had really turned into a circus.

Then she recalled the garish outfits that the monsters had
been wearing and realized that whatever she did, it could only be
an improvement.

Time to lay down the law in the name of the fashion police.

Before it left, Stylin' slashed a stylized 'S' into the back of
its shirt. "Let that be a lesson to you!" She struck a victory pose.
"Sailor S says: Eat right and dress tight!" She covered her mouth and
repressed a giggle. "I LOVE rhyming!"

She's so superficial, I like her. :)

Sailor Stylin' froze when she felt the temperature drop
several degrees. She turned around to see the center of the UFO
glow a deep shade of red. A pillar of darkness descended from
above and gradually coalesced into a very large and frightening
shape.

Ahhhh! Not John Edwards. I wouldn't let him cross over the street with me,
let alone to the other side.

Standing at least three and a half meters tall, with huge,
muscular arms, sharp claws, and big teeth,

You forgot his shiney forehead. :)

"Yah!" Sailor S brought up her sword in an effort to slash
into the beast, but it moved much faster than she,

'her', I think

Its image blurring, the beast leapt up into the red, glowing
section of the UFO, barely avoiding the beam and disappearing
instantly into the unidentified craft.

Of course, summarily dispatching him would be too easy. :)

see one..."

(Scene of a vampire hauling off a voluptuous Englishwoman)

"But sometimes they do."

(Scene of Artemis making the Crystal Wink Sword appear)

"Lots of your friends'll be willing to help you accessorize..."

This is so, so SMish. I approve.

Does anybody want this one to continue, along with everything
else I've got going?

Not sure. It's still in a formative stage. I'll reserve judgment at the
moment.

If so, how do you want it to develop?

Heh. Best to do it however it comes to you.

Cute work. I'll get to the other chapter later.

D.B. Sommer




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