In a message dated 3/15/2002 11:22:54 PM US Mountain Standard Time, 
sommer@3rdm.net writes:

 And moving on to some random insanity...

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

 > Gotta finish this one sometime...
 >
 > Thanks go out to Jason Hanks and a whole bunch of other people who
 > commented and helped, like Tefloncat and Josh Temple and DB Sommer.
 >
 > Some of them didn't work on this one,
 
 Nag, nag, nag. So I'm still a little behind. At least I'm getting close.

And I'm gladja did! Even a small remark can mean a major change.

...

Then again, some large remarks mean no change at all. ^_^

 > So, back for more, eh?! We got a pretty good response on the last
 > part, so I guess you're ready for this one. Somebody out there was
 > wondering about 'Tim, Nephrite, and Jadeite, I'll bet...
 
 Lot of people you haven't touched on in a while.

Yeah, I try to rotate the plotlines around, but all in all, I've got enough 
material
to break it up into several different series, but I've decided to keep it all 
together,
for some unfathomable reason.

 > While SOMEBODY was too wrapped up in her own flashback to care,
 
 Heh

Not everyone cares about what the rest are doing. ^_-

 > The youma general looked down at the unconscious girl he
 > carried and considered the complete insanity of his actions.
 
 He's no less insane than anyone else in this fic. He has nothing to worry
 about. :)

After all, in a story like this, insanity is a survival trait. ^_-

 > Sailor Moon gasped as she saw with whom she had just collided.
 > "Nephrite!" she exclaimed, her voice echoing throughout the alleyway.
 > "There you are! Sailor Mercury said that you were being attacked by
 > all these monsters and had Molly with you! Good to see you're not
 > all THAT evil at heart!"
 
 Heh. She would add that last bit too.

I've seen enough Sailor Moon that I might as well get her characterization
more or less correct... ^_^

 > "Woodah-woodah-woodah-woodah!" a purple-skinned youma with
 > leopard-spotted clothes let out a war-cry as she sped by the entrance
 > to the alley on a unicycle, popping its hand over its
 
 why switch to 'its' when you identified it as a 'her'?

Oh! That's right. I should make it a bit more consistent.

    "Woodah-woodah-woodah-woodah!" a purple-skinned youma with
leopard-spotted clothes let out a war-cry as she sped by the entrance
to the alley on a unicycle, popping her hand her mouth off and on,
again failing to spot them.

 > *PHOOMP!!!* All thirteen youma in the immediate area instantly
 > turned around to face her.
 
 Heh. Wonder if she'll rethink her strategy now.

The proper SM strategy is: No strategy at all. It'll all work out in the end.

It's when people get to planning... That's when the mistakes creep up. ^_^

 > Sailor Moon's pink communicator crackled to life again. "Sailor
 > Moon!" Mercury's voice called. "Remember, you're using the Luna Pen!
 > Contrary to appearances, your prism is still broken. Do NOT, I repeat,
 > do NOT attempt to fight any of the youma by yourself!"
 
 Heh. And all the youma heard it too. How convienent. :)

Yeah!

 > BoomBoom stepped forward, brandishing a handful of explosive
 > nodules. Llama the WhickerWoman held up her thorned arms. One of her
 > thorns had the name "Maxfield Stanton" engraved on the edge
 
 Out of curiosity, that some brand name of whicker furniture?

I don't think so... But Nephrite was using that pseudonym for a while, so I 
thought
it appropriate to have a thorn with his name on it.

 > The Guardian blinked hard, trying to straighten out her vision
 > and gear up for the next and final mental shock to destroy her
 > enemy. "You should remember," she coughed, "that of all Earth's
 > Guardians, Jadeite was the most tested, loyal and successful. That's
 > why he was the first picked by Queen Beryl to be turned."
 
 Hmm. Going after the best first instead of last. Interesting tactic.

If you've got the means, then by all means... ^_^

 > At the same time, the General was laughing. <Oh yes, I
 > remember! I remember it ALL now! I remember how I was chosen to
 > take your place, you worn-out old immortal coot!> Aloud, through
 > the girl's mouth, he added, "I also remember how I defeated you
 > in the first place! BWA-HAH!"
 
 Uh oh.

I hate it when people cure the generals (or any character) of their evil 
without a 
struggle. I figure that if a different Jadeite wants his life back, he's 
gonna have
to fight to get it.

 > The magical conflict intensified. Jadeite's body convulsed and
 > fell down flat on her chest on the high catwalk.
 >
 > The conflicting energies separated themselves from the body,
 > sparkling in the air over to hover
 
 'over to hover' sounds awkward. I'd change that.

Yeah, you're right.

    The conflicting energies separated themselves from the girl,
sparkling as they flowed in the form of light and shadow into the
geometric center of the cavernous foundry.

 > The two powers resolved themselves into two fully grown men,
 > who were exactly identical one to the other. They had short blond
 > hair and wore grey uniforms with black boots and were only
 > distinguishable by the nametags pinned to the jackets of their
 > uniforms. One tag read in black, backed by white, [Guardian Jadeite]
 > and the other read in white with a black background, [General
 > Jadeite.]
 
 Heh. At least that solves that problem.

I was wondering how to handle the situation. Two Jadeites... It was either...

A: Give the evil one a different name...
B: Evil = Jadeite, good = Jade
C: Get repetitive in the descriptions...
D: Just go by Guardian and General.

 > "So we meet again, Guardian," General laughed,
 
 Guardian: You always say that! Come up with something original.

Hmmm...

    "So we meet again, Guardian," General said.

    "You always say that!" Guardian retorted. "Come up with
something original!"

    General laughed, smiling smugly and folding his arms as he
floated in the air. "'Twill be the second such battle we've fought
in our lifetime."

    "Indeed, General, 'tis," Guardian trilled in reply.

 > General grinned, his eyes focusing deeply on Guardian. "So I
 > did. And in this new lifetime, I fought to destroy the last remaining
 > hope for your pitiful prince and the old regime!"
 
 And failed.

Too true. ^_^

 > Guardian made an obscene, one-fingered gesture and casually
 > motioned with it for the General to come forward, voicing a few
 > similarly offensive taunts. "Pansy! Tum-tum! Squirtle! Jigglypuff!"
 
 Now that last was just uncalled for. :)

Some things are just plain wrong. ^_^

 > With barely a moment's hesitation, General landed in front of
 > his counterpart.
 >
 > "We both know that neither of us is suited to aerial combat,"
 > Guardian reminded the General. "So let's do this the old Navy way."
 
 They're going to drown themselves? :)

If there had been a pool of water handy, I'm sure that would have been a
majority of the combat action. ^_^

 > I hate that phrase, I really do, so let's just say that they
 > went at it, tossing punches like a pair of fighting bowlegged
 > cowboys. Yeah, that's the ticket!
 
 Works for me.

Allrighty, then...

 > "Crimson fire burning bright!"
 >
 > *BLAM!* Nephrite took advantage of the opening and blasted
 > BoomBoom in the chest,
 
 Not BoomBoom. She was my favorite New Mutant. :)

^_^

 > "I am Sailor Mercury! I fight for Love and Justice and
 > Fruitbats,"
 
 Can't forget the fruitbats.

'Simply wouldn't be propa' otha'woise!

 > With heavy metal music playing and the whole of the cosmos
 > swirling behind her, Sailor Mercury's hair and outfit glowed as it
 > changed. Her head became engulfed in a huge, big, puffy and curly
 > blue 'fro and her skirt turned white with a rim of light-blue.
 
 I almost wish I hadn't visualized that. :)

Reminds me of this early 1980s picture of X-men's Dazzler. In a white disco
getup, horrible boots, and a cheesy haircut.

Some things are more painful than others to imagine, it is true. ^_^

 > Super Sailor Mercury held a hand out, backed by the symbols
 > for Mercury and for Peace. Streams of water flowed in to form an
 > electric guitar. She gripped the guitar and ran her fingers along
 > the strings, tuning it while playing Stairway to Heaven.
 
 Argh! Not Stairway. Nooo!

If ya wanna win, ya gotta go all out!

...

At least it wasn't Minmei's "We can win!" ^_^

 > General slowly stood up to see Guardian leaping forward with
 > a kick aimed at his neck.
 >
 > *BAM!* General fell backward, barely managing to hang on to
 > the last bit of the metal catwalk with one hand. Guardain
 
 Guardian

Ooops!

 > Guardian, with only a bruised face and a couple of broken
 > teeth, appeared to be in a much better shape than his double. "Okay,
 > General!" he called. "You can't win this one! I've worn you down too
 > much already!"
 
 Oops. Too cocky, he is. Defeat imminent for certain

Yeees, MMM-HMM-HMM-HMM! ^_^

Jadeite strikes me as the type that would be overconfident, even when not
technically evil.

 > *BLAAAAAAM!!!* The energy lit the foundry. Shafts of blue shot
 > out of the windows and the entire building shook from the explosion.
 > The roof and one of the walls caved in, smashing an awful lot of
 > expensive equipment.
 
 Hmm. Let's see what happened.

In the next part, yes.

 > In the infirmary located in the gigantic underground base
 > buried beneath 'Tim's Ucchan, the balding Emergency Medical Hologram
 
 Just plain evil. Never thought to see him in a SM fanfic.

He turned up in parts 7, 8, and 9 as well... ^_^

 > "Finally beat Lina Inverse on maximum difficulty in the
 > holodeck, did you?" the doctor asked, smirking mockingly. "Well, good
 > for you."
 
 I'll say.

But that was just a simulation, so it doesn't count. ^_^

 > "I beat her on medium," 'Tim said, "she needed a few seconds to
 > power up her spells, but on maximum she kept on tossing around these
 > 'Giga Slaves,' left and right, and those are kind of rough to try and
 > avoid."
 
 True.

Especially when they have the nasty tendancy of taking a hefty chunk out of
the planet each time they're used.

The Giga Slave is the sort of thing that could take out the entire DBZ cast 
if used
right...

 > "I don't get along well with Fate."
 
 You know what they say about Fate. You can't choose it, but you can always
 fight against it.

Usually, people fail, but it's the stuggle that counts.

 > The doctor slapped the man on the shoulder, not losing his grin
 > as he illicited another agonized noise from his patient. "Don't be
 > such a baby. Besides, that's just the icing on the cake." He punched
 > up an image of the man's brain activity and showed it to him. "Do you
 > see this? It means that you have a terminal, previously undetected
 > ailment which has no cure."
 
 Hehehehe. Just no way to win somedays.

ASK/'Tim is a tough enough character and has one-upped enough people that
he should take a serious beating and have precious few people feel sorry for
him once in a while. ^_^

 > "That's not funny, 'Tim!" Ukkyo pleaded. "Stop it!"
 >
 > [But,] the main computer protested in its sweet, echoey
 > feminine voice, [I have so much more life to live; things to
 > contribute to the universe!]
 >
 > "No buts," 'Tim coughed. "If I can't have you, no one can!"
 
 Ah, the Captain D'Amour philosophy: If I have to go down with the ship, so
 does everyone else. No lifeboats for you.

In-deed! ^_^

 > HE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW, a voice as heavy as the slamming of a
 > thousand stone coffin lids said, its black-robed owner carrying
 > closer His gleaming scythe. ENJOY IT, BECAUSE IT WON'T BE LONG NOW.
 >
 > "Not NOW, Death!" 'Tim shouted as best he could without a
 > functioning circulatory system.
 
 Which is pretty darn good when you take that into consideration

It takes practice, I imagine.

 > IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, ISN'T IT? OH, LINA INVERSE BLEW A CHUNK
 > OUT OF MY SKULL, PICCOLO RIPPED OUT MY SPLEEN, SAILOR PLUTO BASHED
 > IN MY HEAD, SAILOR URANUS PUT HER SWORD THROUGH MY CHEST, JADEITE
 > BLEW UP MY CORE BEING. Death shook his head. IT IS ABOUT TIME YOU
 > FACED DEATH LIKE A MAN AND NOT LIKE THAT GOOF SIGMA.
 
 True. He is something of a whiner

That's a problem with most new characters: they escape Death too much, and
when they finally don't, everyone's sad...

Arby's just lovin' it, though. A whole new captive audience to preach his
philosophies to. ^_^

 > "N' then Aye sed ta the General," 'Tim added in a gruff voice,
 > trusting a finger into the air, "Bam, zoom, straight ta the Moon!"
 >
 > Ukkyo glanced between the doctor and the pink-haired man.
 > "All right, all right!" she finally said.
 
 About time she gave in. Even I was starting to go nuts. :)

^_^

 > Lord Giles Tranquility stood as best he could with a fractured
 > leg and tore a large chunk of shrapnel from his side, applying direct
 > pressure and muttering a healing incantation before favoring their
 > attacker with a reply. "Probably from the Terrans," he spat out a
 > mouthful of blood. "They've become so foul-spoken since Kull was
 > overthrown. It's like they're not afraid to offend or anything,
 
 Actually that sort of describes Kull, when you think about it.

Yeah, it does, doesn't it? But supposing that he wouldn't tolerate it, though 
he
did it himself... ^_^

 > <And they've wounded Giles. Grrr. He's my favorite being in
 > this miserable
 
 miserable what?

Ooops!

    <And they've wounded Giles. Grrr. He's my favorite being in
this miserable solar system!>

 > <Okay, NOW we're out of power.>
 
 Seems like its sort of the end

Yeah, it's always darkest before the dawn...

 > <Nuke 'em all and show 'em who's boss!>
 >
 > <Yeah. Nuke 'em 'till they glow!!>
 
 And we have our title.

^_^ Had to work that one in somewhere.

 > "It gets worse than that," the doctor said, examining his
 > patient. Finally, with a sigh, he pulled the sheet over the man's
 > face. "You're dead, 'Tim."
 
 Heh. Cute way of twisting the standard phrase.

It's been floating around in my head for a long time...

 > A long, black shadow hung over the bed.
 >
 > Death grinned and said, NOTHING IS CERTAIN. EXCEPT FOR ME.
 
 IRS: And us.
 
 Death: Fine, and you.

I like that line. Death and Taxes cannot be escaped. ^_^

    Death grinned and said, NOTHING IS CERTAIN. EXCEPT FOR ME.

    A representative of the IRS materialized beside him. "And
for me!"

    FINE, AND YOU.

 > Well, that's a nice spot to end the whole thing, wouldn't you think?
 
 It wraps things up nicely and you even managed to work in the title. I'd 

say

 so. Can't think of much else to say, other than it was really nice and a
 pleasure to C+C this part of Nuke 'Em.

Thank you very much! And I was glad to have your support throughout the whole
thing. Not many can say that they've C&C'd an entire chapter of this series. 
You've
outdone even a couple of my most resillient prereaders!

The important thing, I suppose, is that you laughed somewhere along the way 
and
enjoyed it. The series has a plot that I've been working though, but it's 
easily
clouded away under the rest of what happens.

Thanks again!

-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com

    "We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
     We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
     Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
     Resistance is and always has been: Futile."

Collective works available at:
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html

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