Haven't read any of the C&C for this yet, so some things might be
repeated.  As always, everything is in my opinion only, take it or
leave it as you like.

    "I have heard it said that 'pride goeth before a fall', and have
found this to be true. For that, I would consider humility to be one of
the greatest wisdoms that we can learn. I find solace in the face that I
was not the only one who had difficulty learning this lesson."

    'Prince' Herb, former dignitary of Old Terra -- Old Terran Year
2005, July 27th.

This is one of the better quotes you've had in the opening position I
think.

    The battle had shifted from the initial testing blows where they
felt out one-another's defenses and offenses, and then the brief bout of
showy power to attempt to cow the other. Ranma was impressed by Herb's
attack. Perhaps fire wouldn't damage a reaver, but Yosho's blade could
cleave into them -- there was no reason that Herb's couldn't, as well.

    From that, the two had flowed together, and the battle had changed
from careful, cautious strikes and attacks to blindingly fast and
recklessly powerful blows. Kicks that could break a normal human, and
punches that made the very air about them scream in protest flew between
the two liberally.

    Strength that most humans envied even while fearing it was spent
carelessly.

The 'even while fearing it' part of the sentence doesn't sound quite
right to me the way you have it phrased.  The meaning is clear, but it
seems a little awkward.

    The two came apart, and Herb shifted subtly from one stance to
another. Ranma led in with Vapors off the Lake, gently grazing past the
prince's defenses until he countered with Fall of Leaves.

    Fall of Leaves led into Hail of Stone, which Ranma countered with
Drifting Winds, and then Drifting Winds gave way to Roaring Gale.

    Herb countered by not being there for the finishing kick, instead
soaring upwards in a maneuver that Ranma didn't recognize, and lashing
out with his foot to tag Ranma's head before he could react. Ranma flew
backwards, righting himself before he struck the ground, and flying back
into the battle once more. Herb was waiting for him with Stone Fan, but
Ranma darted past the defense with Dewdrops on Armor.

    Staggered from the four punishing blows that penetrated his defense,
Herb waved an errant hand, slashing a tide of flame across Ranma. He
teleported behind Herb and launched and elbow slam towards the other
boy's back, but Herb somehow expected it, and smashed a devastating
Buddha's Palm Strike into Ranma's sternum, eliciting a sharp crack as
Ranma was thrown to the rocks below.

It's up to you, of course, but frankly, I don't think the technique
'names' really help the fight description.  Especially since they're
interspersed with more graphic descriptions.  It can work (I've always 
liked it in the Wheel of Time for instance) but I think you need to be 
mostly consistent.  Either one way or the other, and it needs to be 
established before hand, rather than just appearing in the middle of a fight.

    The prince of the Musk stared at his fallen opponent, and began to
laugh, slowly at first, and then more deeply. He continued laughing
until the somewhat older warrior who had accompanied Ranma arrived. Then
the prince of the Musk, loser of the duel, collapsed to sit next to one
who he would have called a friend, struggling for breath, and exhausted
from his use of a trick he had not yet truly mastered.

He didn't exactly lose the duel, it was more of a draw.  Frankly, I would
say that Herb won it if anyone did since Ranma collapsed seconds after it
was declared over :)

    ***

    From the depths of an inky darkness, voices spun in and out of her
perception.

    ".... okay?"

    "I think so, we just need to make him rest until he can recover."

    "I will see that he is carried, then. He has won our favor, after all."

Herb?  I didn't think he used the royal 'we'.  If it isn't him, it's a bit
unclear who it might be.

    ***

    Across the palace of Jurai, servants scurried about madly -- there
was much to be done before Tenchi and the Home Fleet jumped again to
Earth. For his part, the emperor lay, across the foot of the massive bed
in his chamber, a day of seemingly endless meetings finally finished and
over with.

I don't think you need the comma after 'emperor lay'

    Seiryo had been dealt with, the arrogant prince apparently too
confused by Tenchi's apology to press the issue, and content to leave
once the boy had explained that he was sorry about the last time. The
rest of the meetings had been completed with either mind-numbing
attention paid to details that Tenchi wasn't sure were important, or
fawning devotion to concepts that he regarded as outdated.

    Then too, the council attempted to ignore Karau and his views on
every issue, much to Tenchi's annoyance. He had finally pointed out that
unless a majority could be achieved -- and without Karau, it could not
-- that the Emperor would have the final say in every vote brought to
the Council. Mollified, somewhat, the councilmen then resorted to trying
to coerce the young Laruma.

I don't see why that would mollify them.  I would think it would just
make them angrier, even if it did force them to accept Karau to some
extent.

    Ayeka pouted dramatically, before her expression gave way to a grin,
and she shook her head. "Silly," she told him. "I was merely teasing
you. This isn't a problem, honestly; I'd been living with you for months
before we returned here. The rumor already persists that.... Well." She
seemed content to leave it at that.

I imagine she wouldn't mind too much if it weren't a rumor either :)

    Jakugo's eyes flicked briefly to Tsunami, studying her with a cold,
calculating light, before he ducked his head, nodding. "It as is you say
it, Tsunami-sama -- I forget my place. I would not question your choice,
merely worry that if you are needed near, and are away, the empire may
suffer," he explained.

I do believe she's lost some of her influence on the populace with
the transformation.  All in all, it's not benefitting her much if at
all.  Not that she really had a choice after she chose to save Sasami's
life.

    Fighting down the surge of fear that rose from the presence of the 
beast, Jakugo snorted, reaching into his robe. "But what's one planet, 
when the good of the empire is concerned?" he asked, pulling a 
fist-sized globe of green crystal out and holding it aloft.

I should have seen this coming, but for some reason I didn't.

    "This sure are getting complicated," Tenchi mumbled. "What about 
Ryouko? Or Kohito? Was she able to save him?"

This sure _is_ getting

    "And I still don't know if you even care about me," she sobbed 
quietly, bending down to place a kiss against his forehead, while he 
slumbered. "I wish you would give me some sort of sign, some answer... 
oh, Ranma. This is why I stopped being grown up!"

I'm not sure if you've actually mentioned it before, but is Washu in
her child or adult form for most of this?

Anyway, a very nice read as usual.  Moving on to the next one...

---
Sincerely,
    James M. Zema 

Email:             zema@uakron.edu
Webpage:  http://uakron.edu/~zema/

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