Subject: [FFML] Re: [C&C] [Ranma/Tenchi/Sailor Moon] Process of Elimination -- Chapter Twelve B
From: Brian Randall
Date: 3/8/2002, 7:42 PM
To: David Smith
CC: FFML <ffml@anifics.com>


David Smith wrote:

Realized chapter 11 was still in my To Read folder, so here's a bunch of
corrections for both chapters.


    Oooh! It's a Double Feature!

   "Keep on moving, I guess." Ranma struggled to stand, but the
younger-looking redhead -- the one with shorter hair, thought it was 

--- thought -> though


    Gotcha. Gonna delete whatever I use that doesn't need a comment. :p

While her original plan had been to offer a help allow Ranma to glow 

--- offer a help allow Ranma -> offer help to allow Ranma
--- to glow -> to grow


    Bleck.

things to add to himself before he does it. He wants to make come kind 
of crystal thing to make it easier for him to do, and he needs to eat 

--- to do, -> {to do what?}


    Ew.

His men fell into ranks in the courtyard, Ranma's cohorts and the 
girls that followed him to one side. Norris shifted uncomfortably, 
looking around, and asked, "Where's Miss Hakubi?"

Hakubi -> Habuki


    I'm not sure about this one. My DVD says it's 'Hakubi'.... Judges?

"She returned a few days later, claiming that the climb was 
impossible," Cologne said. "And for many months, the contest to prove 
who the strongest warrior was to see who could best that mountain."

--- who the -> who was the


    Are you sure about that? I thought it worked.

"You're aboard an orbital platform, Ranma-dono." The speaker came 
into his sight, peering down at him... apprehensively. He squinted, 
blinking. Her hair was darker than Sasami's, and slightly than 

--- slightly than -> slightly {???} than


    Fixed. Darker than Sasami's, lighter than Tsunami's.

    Okay! Thank you _very_ much for that grammatical advice, you caught 
a staggering number of errors (ouch).

    I'll blame it on my life -- stress levels lately have been insane. 
Still, with help from C&Cers like you, I'll become a decent writer yet. :)

-- Brian Randall -- I write fanfiction. Too much of it. You can read it here, thanks to a kind grant from the Larry F foundation: http://www.rakhal.com/florestica/durandall/index.html -- Together. Allegiance or death. BIGFIRE! -- Haiku of my lament: Forgive my spelling, my U.S. education, is the source of blame. .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----. | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com | | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'