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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis --
-- File: drunken_insight.txt

[Fic] [Ranma 1/2] [lemon]

Drunken Insight

By:  Caleb 

C&C welcomed at caleb_david@angelfire.com

STANDARD DISCLAIMER:  This is a work of fanfic.  All characters are the creation and property of the great Rumiko Takahashi-sama and various other entities, none of whom happen to be me.  I'm just borrowing them without permission.  You could try and sue, but I'll just claim it was some other Caleb.  Besides, they say imitation is the greatest form of flattery.  This story also contains sexual content which are illegal to read if you're under the age of 18 (if anyone asks I...um...wrote it with a blindfold on). 

PRE-FIC AUTHOR RAMBLINGS:  Well, here it is.  My first piece of fanfic.  So be sure to be extra merciless, got to break me of any bad habits before they get ingrained cause I've got an endless supply of ideas I'm itching to let out.  I suppose feedback will let me know whether they'd be of interest to anyone besides me (I certainly don't want to inadvertently add to all the noise out there that's makes good stuff so hard to find)  The formatting is probably horrible, I'm still trying to figure out how best to prepare and submit .txt files.   Please email any C&C to me as I don't receive the FFML.   



Drunken Insight



Ukyo let out a sigh as she took down her sign, bringing the business day to an official close.  It wasn't the number of customers, business had actually been picking up, but the lack of one particular customer.  All during the evening rush she'd been keeping an eye out for the little red head, but he didn't show up, even after she'd invited him over for some free okonomiyaki at school today.  It'd been to long since she'd really seen him, what with that craziness over in China.  And just when Ranma had got back, Soun and that miserable excuse for a father had tried to force their children together by using some Nanniichuan as a bribe.  True, she'd seen Ranma at the 'wedding', but that didn't really count; he'd quickly been knocked out from all the explosives that she, Shampoo, and Happosai had been throwing around.

"Ugh, should've sent Konatsu out to do this," thought Ukyo as she defiantly struggled against the howling wind to get back to her restaurant, one hand clutching the sign and the other raising her giant spatula to ward off the driving rain.  A sudden flash of lightening lit up the dark street and Ukyo caught a glimpse of something small lying in a nearby gutter.  Hesitating only a moment, Ukyo trudged over to the gutter.  Thunder rolled overhead as Ukyo's eyes widened in surprise at the sight of a familiar and unmoving cat.  "What's that stupid gaijin bimbo doing here?  It'd serve her right if I left her out here..." but Ukyo found herself wedging the cat in between her body and the sign carrying arm.  Bringing her face up close to check for injuries, Ukyo was assailed by the unmistakable stench of alcohol.          

"God, you stink Shampoo!  How much did you have to drink?"  Ukyo's annoyance quickly changed to worry, then alarm, as she noted Shampoo's unnaturally clammy skin and lack of breath.  Just as Ukyo concluded that Shampoo was dead, the cat took in a shallow, ragged, breath of air.  "Jackass!  Don't scare me like that!" yelled Ukyo as she dashed toward her restaurant with the comatose cat.  She was thankful to see Konatsu holding the door as he waited for her.  

"Is something wrong Ukyo-sama?" asked Konatsu as he noticed her breakneck speed and worried expression.  

"This stupid gaijin bimbo gave herself alcohol poisoning I think," explained Ukyo as she tossed her sign and giant spatula aside and waved an intoxicated cat at a puzzled Konatsu.  The cat responded by puking on Ukyo.  "Shampoo you jackass!  I'm trying to help you here!" yelled Ukyo as she set the cat on a nearby table and started drying her off with napkins.  Konatsu was now very confused, until he remembered that Nerima had some weird people in it, some of whom were aquamorphs.  Using his ninja skills Konatsu pulled a boiling teakettle out of nowhere and poured it on the cat, causing him to pass out from sudden blood loss.  

Unfortunately for Ukyo, when Shampoo changed she found her hand in an embarrassing spot (no, not there, that would be a very embarrassing spot).  Before she could remove her hand, Shampoo instinctually grabbed it and gasped "Ah...Airen!"  Ukyo blushed, then blushed furiously as she noticed the recovering Konatsu staring wide eyed at her and the now moaning Shampoo, who was doing interesting things with Ukyo's captured hand. "This isn't what it looks like!" yelled Ukyo as she franticly waved her free hand in denial, not that it did any good; Konatsu had fallen unconscious from blood loss again.

"Ohh...Airen...AIYAHH!  You no Airen!  What pervert gi..spatula girl doing to Shampoo!" screamed a now conscious Shampoo.  

"Hey!  You're the one was holding my hand there!  All I was trying to do was save your drunk ass!  What the hell were you doing getting so wasted?!"    

"Lying spatula girl!  Shampoo no drink that much!  Spatula girl knock out Shampoo to do ecchi things.  Die!"  With that Shampoo lunged at Ukyo.  Shampoo was faster and stronger than Ukyo, plus Ukyo wasn't trained in hand to hand combat, none of which made up for the fact that Shampoo was rather drunk.  Ukyo didn't even need to sidestep.  A moment later the naked amazon lay in an undignified heap amongst the remains of a table.  Shampoo then attempted to pull her trusty bonbori out of nowhere, but apparently she'd lost nowhere along with her clothes, or perhaps she was to drunk to access nowhere, either way, the only thing she accomplished was looking silly and making Ukyo snicker.

Ukyo's snicker died in her throat as Shampoo started growling and the restaurant filled with a menacing battle aura.  "Uh oh," thought the now sweating Ukyo.  While she wasn't to worried about herself, she could dodge Shampoo's drunken attacks all night, the thought of how much property damage a raging drunk amazon could do was appalling.  The restaurant was finally back in the black after that incident where she'd foolishly let Akane, Ranchan, and Konatsu try and run the place.  

Before Shampoo could launch another attack her vision was obstructed by something being pulled over her head.  "KUNICHOI ULTIMATE NOSEBLEED DEFENSE TECHNIQUE:  SHIRT SWAP!"  Yelled a close eyed Konatsu as he quickly dressed Shampoo in his ninja top.  "Gomen Shan Pu-san," apologized a now topless Konatsu as he surveyed his handiwork.  He quickly looked away, a new trickle of blood coming down his nose.  His technique didn't quite live up to it's "ultimatness".  While he probably wouldn't pass out again, the ninja top was not a good fit.  Shampoo had a lot more mass in certain areas than the small ninja, resulting in a tight fit that wasn't quite long enough for Konatsu's comfort.  "Please don't hurt Ukyo-sama," pleaded Konatsu.  "She really did bring you in as an unconscious cat.  I think when your body shrunk the alcohol became more concentrated, thus causing you to have a lethal amount in your bloodstream."  explained Konatsu as he interposed himself between the glowing Shampoo and Ukyo.  

Their was a brief pause, then Shampoo's battle aura deflated.  Ukyo let out her breath in a sigh of relief, then launched into an angry  tirade, "Thanks Shampoo.  I go and save your life and all you can do is call me a pervert and try and kill me!"   

"Shampoo sorry Ukyo," mumbled a mollified amazon.  

"Huh?" that was the last thing Ukyo expected to hear from her rival.  

"Say Shampoo sorry.  Ukyo save life.  Shampoo try take Ukyo's.  That no right."  Shampoo's eyes began to tear up and she collapsed onto the ground.

"Uh, hey, look...its not that big a deal Shampoo...just a little misunderstanding...I'd be pretty mad too if I woke up with some one, uh, you know... Hey, Shampoo, you hungry?  I'll cook us up some okonomiyaki."   

Konatsu, convinced that Shampoo was no longer going to try and kill Ukyo-sama, decided to go take a cold shower and retire for the evening before he became anemic.  

   As Ukyo fired up the grill Shampoo hesitantly took a seat by it and looked awkwardly at her lap.  Finally she blurted out, "Why Ukyo be so nice?!  Shampoo no ever nice to Ukyo, Shampoo always mean.  Shampoo no deserve nice!"

 "Yeah, you've been an ungrateful bitch, but whether you deserve it or not I feel a little sorry for you.  You want to talk about what got you so upset that you nearly killed yourself?"

"Thanks Ukyo," mumbled Shampoo, "Thanks for saving Shampoo, and nice to Shampoo.  First thing love of Ranma was nice when Shampoo no deserve," at this Shampoo eyes went into dreamy nostalgia mode, but the look was quickly replaced by one of regret. "Shampoo sorry so mean to Ukyo before, *sigh* Shampoo...sorry for lots now."  Shampoo slumped down on her stool, rested her chin on the counter, and reached out for her glass, except she wasn't in the bar any more so all her grasping hand found was the now fired up grill.  Shampoo let loose with her trademark AIYAH! and many unprintable Chinese expletives (translation: the author is to lazy to go look any up).

"Heh, thought only Ryogua was dumb enough to do that.  Here's an icepack for the pain sugar," said Ukyo as she opened up the freezer and threw an icepack to the amazon.  Shampoo tried to catch the icepack, but somehow it slipped past her hand and knocked her upside the head.  Amid a shower of ice Shampoo toppled off her stool and crashed to the floor.  "Oops, sorry Shampoo.  Forgot your coordination's shot to hell right now."  

"Ukyo do that on purpose."  Ukyo couldn't help but giggle as she looked down at Shampoo's pouting face and ill dressed form sprawled across the floor.  Soon Shampoo joined the chef in her fit of giggles.  As the two girls giggles died down Shampoo accepted Ukyo's outstretched hand and unsteadily got back on her stool.    

Ukyo placed a second icepack in Shampoo's hand and then returned her attention to the grill.  Shampoo watched the chef work her magic in amazement.  She worked so quickly, but not at the expense of quality noted Shampoo as the dough come down in two perfectly even circles.  The look of absolute focus on Ukyo's face was as captivating as the artistic precision of her handiwork upon the okonomiyaki.  A flick of her spatula sent the okonomiyaki up in the air, then with a dramatic flourish and triumphant smile she applied the final stroke of sauce.  Shampoo gasped, fearing that Ukyo's masterpiece would be ruined on the counter, but at the last moment the chef nonchalantly slid a plate down the counter.  It skidded to a halt just in time to catch the still sizzling okonomayaki in front of Shampoo.  She couldn't help but applaud the performance and smile at the genki kanji Ukyo had drawn in the middle.  "Wow!  Ukyo love making miyaki stuff, neh?"

"It's o-ko-no-mi-ya-ki."

"Whatever."

"But yeah, I guess I really do get into it," said Ukyo as she wiped off a bead of sweat and flicked back a stray hair.  Shampoo's lids lowered, surprised that such a little movement could make Ukyo seem to sparkle so.  "Whenever I start cooking it's like the rest of the world disappears and there are no worries.  I'm carefree, just like when I was a kid.  Okonomiyaki's always been a part of my life.  Every morning I'd wake up to that comforting heat from the grill and be greeted by the scent of father's cooking.  Even before I could walk I was learning how to cook."  

"My earliest memory is of sitting in my dads lap and making these baby sized okonomiyaki with a set of miniature spatulas I'd got for my birthday.  They were the only present I'd got that day because my mom's medical expenses had put us in debt, but I felt like the luckiest kid in the world.  When I'd finished cooking Mom insisted on getting up to see over Dad's objections that she should stay in bed.  She told me the pictures in the sauce were really cute and that she was so proud of me, that when I grew up she was sure I'd be a great chef or artist.  She asked if she could please have one and I remember being so proud when she said it was the best okonomayaki she'd ever tasted.  I asked her why she was crying and she said it was because she was happy, so happy that she'd got to have a wonderful child like me... Hey!  Whatcha lookin at!"  Ukyo suddenly broke free of her nostalgia as she realized Shampoo was gazing at her while resting her chin in her hands.

"N-nothing!" said a self conscious Shampoo as she realized she'd been staring.  She looked away blushing and put a hand over her heart to try and slow down it's run away beating.  "Um, Shampoo always wonder, where Ukyo's parents now?  Unusual live lone."

"That...Mom didn't want to ruin my birthday.  S-she held out until I'd went to bed...  I  grew up pretty fast.  I've always been independent.  Dad already had a steady clientele down in Kyoto when I finally tracked down Ranma and his old man, we didn't want him to lose a business again to them so I headed to Nerima alone.  I'd already learned everything I could from Dad and we both felt I could take care myself.  Now that my business is doing well too it just hasn't made since for either of us to move in with the other."

"But... don't Ukyo get lonely?"

"Well, yeah, sometimes it gets a little lonely, but... hey!  Why are the hell are we talking about me anyway?!  Our okonomiyaki is going to get cold if we keep yapping.  Let's eat!"

Shampoo hesitantly raised her chopsticks to her mouth and slowly chewed the unfamiliar food. "Is...is much good!" said a surprised Shampoo after she swallowed the first bite.  "Ukyo good cook...better than Shampoo."  Ukyo stared at Shampoo in shock, chopsticks frozen in mid descent.  The amazon didn't notice as the first bite of food had awoken her hunger and she was now devouring her food ravenously, sans chopsticks.  All to quickly her food was gone and Shampoo noticed Ukyo staring at her now sauce stained face.  Shampoo smiled evilly and then her good hand lashed out toward Ukyo.  

"Stupid!  Never should have let my guard down around her," thought Ukyo as her eyes flinched shut and she braced for the blow, which never came.  She opened her eyes and there was Shampoo finishing off the remains of her okonomiyaki. 

"You should seen face Ukyo," giggled Shampoo as she pointed at the flustered Chef.  

"Why you little sneak, that was mine!" shouted Ukyo as she dove over the counter and tackled the still giggling amazon.  The two knocked chairs and tables over as they rolled across the restaurant floor.  Ukyo was surprised at how strong Shampoo was.  True, she'd fought Shampoo a couple times, but it had always been with weapons, never hand to hand.  Soon Ukyo found herself pinned  underneath the amazon warrior, their faces an inch apart.  "You're one to talk pig, you should get a look at your face."

"All covered in food, yes?" said Shampoo with a mischievous glint in her eye.  "You want food, eat food off Shampo....ack!"  squawked Shampoo as Ukyo drove her knee into Shampoo's gut.  

"Um, no thanks, I'm not really that hungry anyway, could you um, get off me?" said a nervous Ukyo.  Ukyo's nervousness changed to desperation as she saw Shampoo's face get a sick expression on it.  "Oh fuck! Shampoo don't you dar....... ....."

"Um, at least Ukyo get miyaki stuff back?" 

Ukyo's glowering eyes began to twitch.  "Get...Off...Now."  

"Sorry," whispered Shampoo as she meekly complied.  Ukyo felt her anger melt as  Shampoo once again started to tear up.  She was surprised that she wasn't getting any satisfaction at seeing her usually so cool and controlled rival break down.  

"It's okay sugar, its not like you did it on purpose," said Ukyo as she took off her stinking shirt and headed over to the sink.  

As she was washing it out Shampoo asked, "Ukyo have any sake?"

"Not for you, you're wasted enough as it is sugar.  Besides, it won't make whatever's hurting you stop, just make you lose sight of it for a little while.  What kind of amazon are you anyway, running away to a bottle like some weak man instead of facing your problem?"

Ukyo could feel Shampoo's battle aura start to flare up behind her, then just as quickly die down.  "Ukyo right, Shampoo coward, no want to see what in front of her whole time."

"And that is..." said Ukyo over her shoulder as she finished washing off her face and shirt.  She had a feeling she knew why Shampoo was so upset, and a part of her was going to enjoy hearing Shampoo admit it.  She felt a little guilty, but it was for the best that Shampoo finally got it through her thick head that...

"R-ranma...no love Shampoo."

					*	*	*

Earlier that day...



"So, Shampoo, do you think your conduct at the wedding endeared you towards son-in-law?" asked Cologne in a deceptively casual tone as she entered the kitchen were Shampoo was washing dishes from the lunch customers.  

Shampoo looked nervously at her grandmother and then turned back to the dishes.  "O-of course, me save him..."  Shampoo stopped as Cologne hopped up in front of her and looked her in the eye.  Shampoo looked into the sink as she finished weakly, "...from marry v-violent girl."  

"Now, now Shampoo, those meek Japs may not look each other in the eye, but we are Amazons, we do not act in such a deceptive and shameful manner." 

"Where Mouse been!  Clean dishes his stupid job!  Stupid lazy male!  Me go find and put in place!" shouted Shampoo as she tried to quickly leave.  She didn't get very far before she got tripped up by Cologne's staff.  

"No need to do that.  I've been debriefing him about what happened over in China.  You two are the only Amazons who've seen the Phoenix mountain court and lived to tell about it in over a century.  Rather interesting, his version of a couple of events you both witnessed was much more detailed than yours.  I don't recall having asked you to skim over important details when I questioned you, or utterly fail to mention that Akane was even there.  If you aren't married to Ranma when we return to the village you'll be tried you know.  We wouldn't want to add deceiving the matriarch to your list of offenses, now would we?"  Despite the still casual tone Shampoo shuddered.  Deceiving the matriarch was consider a worse crime than failing to fulfil the promise of the kiss of marriage, or even the kiss of death.  

"Please, don't make me remember Jusendo," thought Shampoo as she looked pleadingly into her great grandmothers eyes.  Ancient implacable eyes glared coolly back at her.  While Shampoo was afraid of what her matriarch could do to her for concealing certain events, she was much more terrified of those events.  She had been trying to forget them, and when that failed she told herself that they didn't mean anything.  But now, seeing her terrified face reflected in those ancient eyes she could no longer deny the horrible truth that those events represented.

Ranma, losing all will to live when he thought Akane had died saving him.

His tenderness when he thought he had failed to revive her.  Shampoo couldn't remember what exactly he said, not that it mattered considering Ranma's aptitude with words.  But the emotion and intent behind them had been clear, he was trying to tell Akane how much he loved her.

"NOOOOO!! NO!  NO!  NO!  NO!  It no true!  Damn it!  It no true!" shouted Shampoo desperately.  

"Shampoo, cease this shameful display.  It is especially unbecoming for one of my blood and who was my heir," admonished Cologne.

Shampoo looked at her grandmother with horror, "G-grandmother... you no serious...!"

"I certainly am child.  While you have the skills and intelligence, a matriarch can not allow emotions to cloud her objectivity.  Someone who will not face up to truth can not be entrusted to make decisions for the tribe.  I lost face in front of the elders when you failed to kill Ranma, and will lose face again if you fail to return with him, particularly considering the claims you made in the Amazon newsletter.  My status in the tribe is fairly secure, but I'm sure you can see that it would be wise to distance myself from your failures."

The implications of what Cologne was saying caused Shampoo to collapse from dread.  Her own grandmother wasn't going to stick by her once they returned.  She would be stripped of her status for certain.  As if losing the one person she had ever loved wasn't enough, now she was going to lose everything else that had ever given her life meaning.  "Please, Grandmother, no do this to Shampoo... you know Shampoo have many enemies back home," whispered Shampoo desperately.

"I know Shampoo, you can bet they will be cruel to you if the council strips you of your status.  It will be a hard time for you," said Cologne gently, "Though it may seem unbearable you must be strong and never forget of whose bloodline you are.  As long as your alive there is hope, I have not selected a replacement heir, if you redeem yourself in the eyes of the tribe your status could be restored."

Her Elder's sympathy felt like salt in Shampoo's wound.  Outright rejection would be easier to endure than this useless pity.  Shampoo's eyes went from soft to hard as a suspicion entered her mind.  "How long you know?"

"Ever since my duel with Neko-Ranma.  It was fairly obvious from his behavior towards Akane when his inhibitions were removed by the cat fist.  Why do you think I gave him the Phoenix pill?  I probably could have defeated even his cat fist technique, (of course there was a slight chance I might have lost, and considering his lack of moral inhibitions and dislike of me at the time that would have been fatal, added Cologne to herself), but when I realized how Ranma truly felt I decided that forcing him into marriage would be a bad idea.  He would bear us too much resentment.  So I tried some subtler approaches and left winning him over mostly in your hands, especially after the incident with the reversal jewel revealed that the feelings between them were mutual."  

"You...know...all this time, and no tell?!  Make Shampoo waste time in stupid Japan chasing illusion?!" sputtered an angry Shampoo.  Then she did something that she never would have done if she'd been thinking clearly instead of being an emotional wreck.  She attacked Cologne.  With the predictable result of her flying out of the kitchen .42 seconds later.  

"Shampoo!" cried a concerned Mousse as he rushed over to his beloved's side.  Upon seeing that she was sobbing he realized that now was his chance!  He would comfort her and let her cry on his shoulder, after which she would realize her true feelings for him. 

Shampoo stiffened as she suddenly found her face being pressed into Mousse's shoulder.  Mousse was experiencing to much bliss from holding Shampoo to note the signs that should've warned him to get the hell away from her as quickly as possible.  Such as the low growl in the back of her throat.  The cracking of her knuckles.  The tensing of her entire body.  Or even the battle aura which filled up the restaurant and made his sleeves catch on fire.  "Oh, I can feel the flame of our passion Sham..." Mouse never got any farther as Shampoo started slamming him back and forth like a rag doll and then dropped kicked him all the way into next fanfic.  

Cologne entered the dining room in time to see Shampoo run out through the nearest exit, that being the one she made for herself in the wall.  *sigh* "I thought I'd finally taught her to use doors.  Oh well, I guess I'll overlook it this one time.  Poor thing, tempering can be so painful, but it's for the best."  Cologne had noted for awhile that Shampoo harbored a very unamazon romanticism.  She was glad that Ranma was such a perfect man for shattering it.  This would also  teach Shampoo how to deal with losing and that things wouldn't always go her way, valuable lessons which she'd never had to deal with back in the village.  Of course, there was still the problem of how to serve the evening rush without two of her workers.  



"Moshi!  Moshi!" said a relived voice on the other end of the line.

"Don't think I don't see through you!  You always let someone else pick up the phone, you lazy baka.  Well, this stir fry I cooked for us isn't going anywhere!" this voice in contrast was quite annoyed.

"Greetings son-in-law, I've a favor to ask of you and Akane."

"A favor?" replied a wary Ranma.  

"Yes, Shampoo and Mouse have... suddenly become unavailable.  I was wondering if you two could temporarily fill in."

	"Sure," said Ranma quickly, as if he was grabbing onto a lifeline, "I'll be at the Cat Caf� right away."  KLONK!  Cologne flinched sympathetically from the sound of a wok colliding with the back of a skull and the sizzle of hot oil on flesh.  "Stupid uncute tomboy, ya said the stir fry wasn't going anywhe..." Cologne could well imagine Akane's look of betrayal and rage that had made her foolish fianc� fall silent.  

	"H-how could you!  After I worked so hard to make us a nice meal,  y-you go run off to that hussy's restaurant!"

	"W-wait Akane, it's not like that, ya see...um, wait, I guess it's sorta like that... um, what I mean is..." unfortunately Ranma's brain was short circuiting as it always did around crying females.  

	"I DON'T CARE WHAT ITS LIKE!  YOU CAN GO HAVE YOUR DATE OR WHATEVER WITH SHAMPOO FOR ALL I CARE.  AT LEAST SHE CAN COOK, RIGHT!"  This was accompanied by the sound of someone being kicked through the roof.            

	Cologne hung up the phone with one hand and caught Ranma right before he hit the floor with the other.  "Well, that was quick son-in-law.  Your old uniform from when you used to wait tables is in back, go change," before Ranma could protest Cologne added, "and I'll let Akane know what's going on and whip you both up something to eat before the evening rush hits."

	Ranma opened his mouth to say that he'd straighten that stupid tomboy out himself, but then realized that Akane would never listen to him and that he'd just make things worse.  "Agarito gazaimus," said Ranma sincerely as he bowed to the elder, and then with a mischief smirk added, "old ghoul."  

	"Who you calling old ghoul, son-in-law," said Cologne with mock annoyance as she took a playful swing at him with her staff.  Ranma easily dodged with a backwards flip into the kitchen.  He was an impertinent young fool, but that's what Cologne liked about him.  It had been so refreshing to find someone who wasn't tactful around her and wouldn't be intimidated.  She was going to miss him.  

*	*	*

	"R-ranma no love Shampoo."  

	"What took you so long?" said Ukyo derisively, forgetting tact in her moment of triumphant vindication.  Then she noticed Shampoo's silent tears and mentally slapped herself.  "Ukyo, you baka.  How would you feel if you found out Ranchan didn't love you?"  Ukyo shuddered at the emptiness the thought brought and quickly shoved it away.  "Shampoo needs someone to console her, not rub her face in it."    

	Shampoo took a good look at Ukyo and then threw back her head in a bitter laugh that made Ukyo's skin crawl.  "You think Ranma Ukyo's now, hehheh, you no get.  Ranma no love Shampoo, Ranma no love Ukyo, cause Ranma love violent girl."

	Ukyo let loose her own nervous laughter and folded her arms over her bandaged chest.  "You've gotta be kiddin sugar.  You ever watched those two?  They're always arguing and hitting each other.  The only reason they're together is because of some promise Ranchan's lousy father made, as if those are worth anything.  Ranchan's old man only wants to mooch off the Tendo's and get the training hall.  That way his son can support him and he won't ever have to get off his fat ass and do any real work.  Eventually the Tendo's will wise up and kick that worthless free loader out and end that farce engagement.  Then Ranchan will be all _mine_ ! Mwhahahaha!"

	"Shampoo seem remember Ukyo and Shampoo get mad at Ranma and hit too.  Not as much as violent girl, but she spend more time with Ranma, get annoyed by him more.  Of course me only seen times when we both together with Ranma, Shampoo much yell and hit Ranma when you no around."

	Ukyo had to admit that Shampoo had a point, she could think of numerous times she'd smacked Ranma and got annoyed with him when Shampoo hadn't been around to see it.  She really couldn't claim much of a high ground over Akane there.

	"Ukyo was no at Jusendo.  No see what Shampoo see.  Akane give life for save Ranma.   Ranma think Akane dead, give up on living.  Then kill god for her.  Try tell how much love her when think fail to save.  Shampoo no want admit, but no longer can deny.  Ranma love Akane, and Akane love Ranma."

	Shampoo's tone was so grave and final that Ukyo found herself unable to deny her darkest fear.  She wanted to think it was some deception of Shampoo's, but she wouldn't lie about something that meant Ranma didn't love her.  What finally convinced Ukyo though was the haunted sincerity in Shampoo's eyes.  "No," whispered Ukyo with desperation as she felt the emptiness she had buried earlier resurface.  

	"Shampoo sorry Ukyo, wish not true, but is.  Know how feel, dreams all shatter, leave big empty hurt much place."  

	Ukyo's throat grew tight and a dull pain started in her chest.  "No, I'm not going to cry over that jerk again," thought Ukyo.  But then a gentle hands touched her shoulders and Shampoo whispered, "Ukyo no have to hold in, is okay to cry."  Before she knew it she was sobbing into Shampoo's shoulder as the amazon enfolded her in a gentle embrace.  As Ukyo let loose her tears Shampoo stroked Ukyo's hair (undoing her ponytail in the process) and murmured "its okay," over and over.  

	It felt surprisingly good to comfort Ukyo.  Shampoo remembered how horrible it had been when realization had struck and there had been no one there for her (well okay, there was Mousse, but he didn't count).  Ukyo wouldn't have to face the pain alone.  And it felt nice being close to someone with out them trying to break free like Ranma always did.  After a few minutes Ukyo regained her composure and Shampoo reluctantly let her go.  

	"T-thanks Shampoo," said a puffy eyed Ukyo, "I'm sorry about going all to pieces like that."

	"No problem," said Shampoo, brushing it aside.  Then her tone become a conspiratorial whisper as she asked, "Ukyo get out sake now?"

	"Heh.  Sure, why the hell not."  

	

	Ukyo was feeling a bit more relaxed now that she and Shampoo had passed the sake bottle back and forth a couple of times.  She was now ready to talk about that jerk.  "Ya got it lucky sugar, you'll get over Ranma easy.  You were just in love with him cause that stupid law of yours."  

	Shampoo snorted and turned up her nose.  "Ukyo stupid one, not law.  Law make much sense."  

	"Oh sure, Shampoo, if you're beat by a girl kill her, but if it's a man you marry him, that's so primitive."

	"Ukyo no disrespect Amazon law!  Ukyo think me and ways so stupid, but Ukyo one make ignorant talk!" yelled Shampoo as she slammed her fist on the counter, causing it to crack.  "You wonder why 'primitive' Amazons survive in fertile land when surrounded by you 'civilizeds'?  All tribes have land you 'civilizeds' want be massacred, cept us," said Shampoo proudly, "cause wise ancestors know we need be strong and defend land from greedy ones who grow with no limits."

	"Ukyo know survival of fittest?  Amazon law weed out weaker females.  Bring in new, stronger blood,  keep from stagnating.  Bring new ideas and fighting styles.  Mating with foreigners keep us from being destroyed by Rome brought Plague of 161, unlike American Indians.  Laws do other useful things to, but if no for them Amazons no would have been strong enough to defeat all who tried to destroy us in past and all who try in future.  So how law stupid Ukyo?" said Shampoo leaning over the counter and getting right into Ukyo's face.

	Blink, blink.  "Uh, since when did you know so much Shampoo?"

	"What Ukyo think, Shampoo stupid just cause no speak like you?"  Ukyo flinched at Shampoo's on target accusation.  "Hhmph.  You not only one.  Over hear "stupid gaijing bimbo" all time.  Like see how well Ukyo speak Chinese after only there little while.  Shampoo is... h-heir to matriarch, no can be stupid to do that.  Shampoo know lots of things, do some reading in spare time."

	"Well, I guess I can't call you a _stupid_  gaijing bimbo anymore," smirked Ukyo.  

	"Who Ukyo call bimbo?  Shampoo been faithful to Airen," shouted an indignant Shampoo.  

	"Come on Shampoo, you dress like such a slut.  I mean just look at yourself now," said Ukyo as she eyed Shampoo's current attire, which due to its small size only partially covered Shampoo's bush of purple hair and squashed her breasts in a rather lurid manner.  Before Shampoo could protest that this wasn't her fault Ukyo continued, "And there our all those times you go flashing your naked body or don't bother wearing any bras or panties so everyone can see you bouncin around.  You might as well have "Fuck me Ranma" written all over you."

	"Not all Shampoo fault!  Stupid pervert boys or old pervert always stealing panties before Shampoo turn back from cat and get back!  Always running out." 

	"Hmm, ever tried not wearing such tempting soft and shiny lingerie?" 

	"Hmmphh," sniffed Shampoo as she turned up her nose at the very thought of it, "Shampoo like how  silk feel.  Assets deserve worthy containers," stated Shampoo arrogantly as she arched her back and leisurely stretched her arms over her head.  It was with satisfaction that she noted Ukyo staring at her.  "Amazons no "bimbos."  Just different culture, different dress standard, smart one like comfy and practical.  Which flat chest ninja girl top no is," said Shampoo as she slowly ripped Konatsu's ninja top down the middle, turning it into a jacket and allowing her breasts to thankfully become free of the confining prison they'd been in.  

	As Shampoo's breasts came to a stop Ukyo suddenly realized she'd be staring and quickly looked away blushing.  "Since when where yours that big?" muttered an envious Ukyo, then blushed even deeper when she realized she'd said that aloud.  

	"Ranma and Akane no only ones 'maturing'," smirked Shampoo as she took another leisurely stretch and sighed at how pleasant it felt now that she wasn't so confined.

	"Stop that!" shouted Ukyo, "Weren't you trying to convince me you _weren't_ some bimbo slut?!  Just rub my face in it why don't you?"

	"Okay!," shouted Shampoo with enthusiastic playfulness.  Ukyo suddenly founded her self embraced over the counter into Shampoo's ample cleavage.  

	"Mmmphhhmmm,  mmmphhhmm, MPHM!" cried an indignant Ukyo, stopping as she realized that having her mouth open was making this awkward situation much worse as Shampoo made good on Ukyo's suggestion.  Ukyo's attempted futilely to break free, but she stood no chance against the perfected art of Amazon glomping.  However, once Shampoo felt that Ukyo realized who was in control here she eased up and let her break free,  eyeing the red faced and panting chef with a sultry smirk.

	"Shampoo you...you... Jackass!" sputtered Ukyo, "What the hell do you think your doing!"

	"Was Ukyo sugges...," pointed out Shampoo as the top of her head got aquatinted with  Ukyo's spatula.

	"HENTAI!" shouted Ukyo at a dazed Shampoo who was seeing stars on the floor.  

	"Hmpphh.  Ukyo one talk, what with inhaling Shampoo breast like that..." retorted Shampoo with a little smile as she got back up to her feet

	And immediately was knocked back down as Ukyo snarled, "Shut up!  That was an accident!"  

	"Ok, ok.  Shampoo sorry," said Shampoo to the floor she was imbedded in, "Ukyo put away spatula now?"

	Ukyo's only response was a grunt, but as Shampoo peeked up she saw Ukyo slip the spatula under the counter.  Now that the coast was clear Shampoo climbed unsteadily back up onto her stool, the alcohol and ringing in her head making it a difficult task.  

	An short awkward silence followed in which the only sound to be heard was the girls taking swigs from the bottle.  Shampoo finally broke it quietly by saying, "Shampoo no fall in love with Ranma cause of law, law no applied."  

	Ukyo kept drinking, but then what Shampoo had said registered and sake spluttered everywhere, "N-NANI?!"

	"Ranma no defeat me, Shampoo no attacking him, he no attacking Shampoo.  Just try disarm.  Shampoo no even realize what Ranma try do, attack from Shampoo blind spot.  It not like law make Amazon marry someone who knock out from behind.  And Shampoo only stunned moment, take lot to knock out Shampoo.  Council would no accept that kiss of marriage if they knew, be very angry with Shampoo.  Shampoo no know then that Ranma good fighter."

	"I can't believe this," said Ukyo darkly, "All this time you... Why would you twist your law to try and trap someone you hardly knew at the time?  Actually, this isn't the only time you've played fast and loose with your "vaunted" Amazon traditions is it?  I seem to remember back when we teamed up to deal with Mrs. Hinako you gave her the kiss of death.  Whatever happened to that sugar?"

	Shampoo blushed and looked awkwardly at her lap, "Heh, not first time either.  Back before Ukyo here Shampoo kiss pervert girl.  Shampoo no really meant it, just wanted to scare off so she stop getting in way.  Ranma tell Shampoo he really girl to protect Akane, even though it meant that Shampoo must then kill.  Airen always so selfless when matters most.  *sigh*"

	"Except you didn't kill Ranchan, what I don't get is why you didn't kill him.  I mean, what was holding you to him?  You'd just met this guy who you didn't know anything about who turns out to be the girl you've been hunting all across China and Japan.  That should have killed your groundless infatuation right there."

	"Not infatuation!" shouted a suddenly angry Shampoo.

	"Oh come on Shampoo, you'd been there for just a couple days.  It's not like you'd been his child hood friend or anything and knew him at all.  What else could it be?"

	"Shampoo did love Ranma," insisted Shampoo soft but fiercely.  "Ukyo realize that everything in Shampoo life, all culture and teachings and upbringings say must kill Ranma?  And Shampoo know if no kill lose face before tribe and punished by elders?!  UKYO THINK SHAMPOO IGNORE UPBRINGING, LOSE STATUS AND RESPECT IN TRIBE AND GET CURSED FOR SOMETHING AS WEAK AS INFATUATION?!!"  Shampoo's tone grew louder and louder as she leaned in closer and closer to a sweating Ukyo who was beginning to realize how badly she'd underestimated the Amazon.  She'd always considered Shampoo real shallow, never imagining she could be capable of such depth and sincerity of feeling.  She'd always seemed like such a self confident care free airhead.  Ukyo always envied that about her, that she never seemed to have any angst or suffering or self doubt.  To Ukyo's relief Shampoo slumped back on her stool and finished as quietly as she'd began, "Shampoo may no have known him well, but knew her."   

	"W-wait, Shampoo are you... saying... that... um..." stammered Ukyo.

	"Shampoo need spell out for Ukyo?" sneered Shampoo, "Shampoo fell love with Ranma before ever meet boy type."

	"..... . . . I-I'd always wondered about that.  You'd always make passes and glomp Ranma even if he was a girl and there were other people watching."

	"Ukyo sound jealous."  

	"WHAT!  Why'd I be... j-jealous!"  

	 "Cause Shampoo able express affections, no have stupid inhibitions," Shampoo said seriously.  Then taking on a leer she added, "Glomp girl Ranma even better than boy, neh?  Get rub breasts together."

	"I wouldn't know," sniffed Ukyo, who was trying to keep her blush from spreading.  There was something about the way Shampoo said things that made images leap unbidden into her mind.  

	"Heh, Ukyo should try some time.  Make Ranma blush much, she so kawaii then.  Hhhmm, Ukyo get much kawaii when embarrassed too."  This only worsened Ukyo's blush, causing Shampoo to break out into a fit giggles.  It was a bright and bubbly sound, without a trace of contempt in it.  Ukyo found it surprisingly infectious and couldn't help but join in and laugh at herself.

	"Heh, yeah, she is real cute when she gets embarrassed.  I'd like to see _you_ blush, or does the amazon princess never lose her cool?"  Ukyo was rewarded by a slight coloring of Shampoo's cheeks.  "Huh, it does make her look kawaii," thought Ukyo to herself.

	"Well, Shampoo once see naked Ryogua and ..." Shampoo leaned in and whispered something to Ukyo, who's eyes got real big.

	"No way!  You're exaggerating," said Ukyo in disbelief.

	"Is true!  Shampoo see what with own two eyes, no can forget thing like that!"

	"Tadima!  Sorry I'm late Akari, got a little los..."  Ryogua looked around confused.  "Um, hello... Ukyo... Shampoo... what are you doing... at Akari's farm... uh... is there something on my pants?" asked Ryogau as he looked down.  There was something about the way Ukyo was staring  that was making him real nervous.  "Oh, wait.... this is a restaurant... I didn't know you'd... um... opened...a new...restaurant...in the country..." Suddenly Ryogau noted the current state of attire of the two girls.  A couple of weeks ago he would have passed out, but Akari had been helping him build up his endurance.  He did get a nose bleed, but that wasn't the main place blood was rushing.

	"...we'llbeshuretotryitoutsometimecya!"  Ryogua got out of there as fast as he could.  The look Ukyo was giving him now was scaring him.  There was something weird going on there and he had the feeling he didn't want to know what.  He prayed that he found Akari soon, otherwise he was going to have this raging pain all evening.  

	"Man," whistled Ukyo, "Akari sure is lucky."  She then looked over at Shampoo, who was holding her beet red face in her hands, and let out a loud laugh.

	"Ukyo no need be so obvious!"

	"Well, well.  I guess Mrs. No Stupid Inhibitions does have some modesty after all.  As if I could help checking it out after what you said."  Ukyo took a swig from the sake bottle and basked for a bit at finally not being the flustered one.  "It must have been tough loving someone you were supposed to kill."

	"True true.  Only Shampoo could no admit at time.  Bury love deep down, pretend no there, but it desperately want burst free..."

	"Wait!  I got it!  That must have been why you fell for Ranma so quickly!  Your repressed love of girl Ranma must have subconsciously noted how similar boy Ranma was and transferred your unacceptable love of the girl you had to kill to the boy using the corollary of the same law as an excuse!"  "Oh, I'm so smart!" thought Ukyo as she mentally patted herself on the back for figuring it out ahead of the story.  

	There was a lot more to the Amazon than Ukyo had given her credit for, and she found herself genuinely wanting to know more about Shampoo.  In a way it felt like making up for all the times she'd never bothered reaching out to Shampoo and just writing her off as a shallow man grabbing rival.  "But how did you ever fall in love with a girl who you had to kill?"

	Shampoo took a deep breath.  "First Ukyo need know about what life like for Shampoo with Amazons.  Back then Shampoo was...um..."  

	"A bitch?" suggested Ukyo.  Shampoo looked at Ukyo darkly.  "Well you were, right?  I can just imagine it."  Ukyo's voice then took on an exaggerated sing song tone, "Back then Shampoo big bitch.  Shampoo sexiest and toughest amazon, not to mention arrogantest, and make sure other amazons no forget.  Shampoo rub faces in it and rough up those who forget Shampoo superior everyone else."  

	Shampoo grumbled, "How Ukyo know?"

	"I just guessed you acted pretty much like you do here."

	After Shampoo recovered from her face fault she sniffled out, "S-shampoo really s-such a... bitch?"

	"Hell yeah!  Urk"  Ukyo suddenly bit her tongue as Shampoo's sniffles increased and she began to tear up.  "Damn that girls so emotional tonight.  Is it that time of month?  Quick Ukyo you jerk, say something fast or you're going to have made her cry."

	"Hey, Shampoo.  Cheer up," said Ukyo as she tilted Shampoo's chin and looked into her watery eyes, "I think you've changed.  You haven't really been bitchy tonight.  Hell, I've been a lot more bitchy than you.  And you know what, you are the sexiest and toughest, just work on not being the arrogantest."  

	"U-ukyo really mean that?" said a starry eyed Shampoo.

	"Hell yeah!" said Ukyo smiling.

	"Ukyo think Shampoo sexy!"

	"Urk!  Um...objectively, not perso...!" but Ukyo's objections fell on death ears as an exuberant Shampoo threw herself around the stunned chef, snuggled against her, and let out a blissful sigh of absolution.

	"Ukyo more or less right.  Shampoo mother was heir to matriarch, very beautiful and greatest warrior.  But cruel Musk warriors torture her, put scars on and injure bad.  No able to use legs, no fight, so lose status.  Mother determined Shampoo become what mother should have been.  Make Shampoo train hard all time."  Ukyo wasn't sure she was comfortable with the intimacy of this situation, but she couldn't just push Shampoo away while she was barring her soul.  She was speaking so slowly and softly, Ukyo felt that Shampoo needed the strength and safety she was getting from the snuggling to go on.  

	"No let Shampoo spend time playing with other children, Shampoo must train and be best.  If no best then become like mother.  Shampoo see, other amazons either give condescending pity or pick on mother cause low status.  But if best no one can hurt or condescend.  So Shampoo know must become best.  But hard, g-get so lonely, and then... mother try teach bakentetsu..." Ukyo let out a gasp at this, unable to imagine someone inflicting that training on a child, "S-shampoo try so hard please mother... but hurt so much... no can find breaking point... to afraid... hurt to much concentrate...something wrong inside, things broken... mother keeps yelling at me... don't want to try again... she mad a-and hit me... please no make Shampoo do again..." Shampoo suddenly started sobbing and pleading desperately in unintelligible Chinese to a horrified Ukyo.

	"Shampoo," whispered Ukyo.  "Hey Shampoo!  SHAMPOO!  Snap out of it!  You're safe now, no one's going to hurt you!"  Shouted Ukyo as she shook the hysterical amazon.  Shampoo's managed to stop her frantic pleadings, but not her gasping sobs.  "Hey, you here me?  It's ok.  No one's going to hurt you," repeated Ukyo as she pulled Shampoo into a fierce protective hug.  "No one's going to hurt you."  The two of them just stayed like that for a while,  Ukyo holding Shampoo close and whispering "It's ok.  No one's going to hurt you," over and over as she rocked the sobbing amazon back and forth.



	This was just like many of the fantasies Shampoo had dreamt about Ranma.  "Hmmm.  Ukyo sound so manly, like knight going to protect Shampoo."  As soon as she'd said it Shampoo regretted it, for it made Ukyo let go of her as if she were a piece of hot metal.

	"W-what are you saying!  Bokuta shoujo!"

	"Oh?  Why Ukyo dress like do then?  Think tape comfy bra or something?"  mocked Shampoo as she poked Ukyo's bandaged chest.  

	Ukyo opened her mouth to fire off a snide retort, but then the thought struck her, why the hell do I still wear these?  "Heh, it sure isn't for comfort," joked Ukyo "But you know, they're 100% Happosai proof and when it comes to support they can't be beat.  I'll still be pert and firm long after your topless days catch up to you and your boobs finally stop ignoring gravity."

	"So?  What good beauty locked in confining cage, never be free see light of day?  No can enjoy self or be enjoyed by another."

	Ukyo winced at Shampoo's disapproval.  "... You know about my history with Ranma?"

	"Got good idea, asked Akane when at hot springs after Ukyo win."

	"Oh yeah, that's where we first met, wasn't it?"

	"Yes, we really hit off."

	Ukyo decided to ignore that and then continued, "When I first thought Ranma had rejected me I guess I ended up locking away my femininity.  Everyone knew about how he'd ditched me, said it was my fault.  That I was to much of a tomboy, wasn't cute and pretty enough.  I'd always been teased about that before, but this was the only time it actually hurt.  I decided that no man could ever love someone like me if Ranma hadn't.  So my life as a woman ended and I swore I'd never fall in love with a man again."

	 "Heh, even if Ukyo no love men bet no have shortage of girls."

	"What!  No, you've got it wr..."

	"Don't tell me Ukyo no have girls after.  Ukyo like Ranma, real cute whether boy or girl."

	"Oh, well, yeah, that did happen some," said Ukyo embarrassed.   "But it's not like I encouraged em.  I'm not like that."  

	"Course not, Ukyo to insecure cause Ranma rejection to encourage anyone, even if want."

	"Wait, I think you don't understand what I'm trying to tell you Shampoo..." 

	"Come on, Ukyo never ever wonder what like be with Ranma girl side?"

	"..."

	"Akane, tell me real suspicious how much Ukyo enjoy playing with Ranma after find curse.  Keep changing only boxer Ranma back forth.  Must been fun watching jugs fill in over and over," said Shampoo as she nudged a blushing Ukyo.

	"...well... sometimes I'd think about our married future, and well... if he wanted to... um...or knowing his luck...if he got splashed while...um... well, it'd be my duty as his wife to satisfy him," said a now deeply blushing Ukyo.

	"Oh, and Ukyo just go along out of duty?  No enjoying it?"  said a grinning Shampoo as she leaned in closer towards her now completely red faced prey.  Panic rose in Ukyo.  It felt as if she was cornered by a hungry wolf.    

	Suddenly Ukyo rose to her feet, "Well, if I have to anyway I might as well enjoy it!  Right?!  There's nothing wrong with that is there?!  Why shouldn't I enjoy it?!  So just back off!" exploded a panting Ukyo.   

	"*tsk* *tsk* Shampoo think Ukyo protest to to much," giggled Shampoo.  Then she sighed.  "No see what so unhappy about, wish Shampoo been as popular with girls."

	"... ARE ALL YOU AMAZONS PERVERTS OR SOMETHING!"

	"Silly Ukyo, perversion just what people make up.  Amazon girl first explore pleasure of body with girlfriends.  Make sense, help bind fighting force together.  Like ancient Spartans.  They keep Phalanx work as unit and warrior moral up when away from wife by having older mentor take twelve year boy as lover."

	"That's disgusting!  I don't care what you say, that's perverted!"

	"... Yeah, Shampoo think perverted, but they think normal.  And it work, Spartans toughest succesfullest warriors, Amazon ancestors of Greece borrow some traditions from.  And Amazons purpose liberate woman, show no need depend on man for pleasure.  Men just for making babies.  Many loveless marriage for sake of tribe, but find pleasure with fellow amazons."

	"When little Shampoo try make friends no work well, cause, well, Ukyo say before.  So Shampoo resent.  Beat up others and never miss chance remind them Shampoo better.  Sometimes... very cruel.  Other amazons then hate Shampoo.  Shampoo look all smug, but inside lonely.  Specially when others start to turn to each other.  Shampoo realize have no one.  And then she come."    

	    "First make fool of Shampoo in front of tribe.  Shampoo very mad, hurt status which all Shampoo have, so try to kill in anger.  But anger wear off out of village.  Find no miss village, stop have to worry about convincing everyone on top.  Respect red head, she first peer give challenge.  And no hate Shampoo like others, even though Shampoo try kill.  She even risk life once to save Shampoo."

	"Found her taking bath in shallow end river.  We is fighting and she no can escape.  Shampoo winning, smack Ranma several times and she no even score one hit.  Then she go down on leg, me think broke bone.  But Ranma faking and surprise Shampoo with donkey kick.  Shampoo head hit rock and fall in rapids.  Can't get back above water and keep dashing against rocks, think is all over.  Then feel small arms wrap round waist and pull above water.  We both nearly drown, but Ranma finally get us to shore."

	"Shampoo so confused as she put mouth over Shampoo and bring breath back.  As she tear off Shampoo cold soaked clothes think for a moment she going to force self on me to warm up.  From behind me I feel her naked body press against mine.  Her adrenlated heat passing into my clammy body, keep me from freezing death.  But she only bandage bleeding head with shreds.  She start up fire while keeping Shampoo body next to her.  Then pass out.  

	"Wake up and is all dried off with blanket over me.  Feel so warm and comfy, then realize her heat is still against me.  Both dressed now and she still holding me and giving me her warmth.  Start to get hot myself and then get angry at her for making fool of me.  Push off and try attack, but to weak.  Ranma looks hurt, but Shampoo even more hurt when see that sad look in her eyes.  Runs off.  Try call to her but voice to weak and she no hear."           

	"Watch that night as she train in moonlight.  So beautiful and graceful, Shampoo confused by strange feelings, no know it but fallen in love.  Tear Shampoo apart.  Want to tell Ranma, but if no kill lose status, all that ever give Shampoo value.  No willing to give up only meaning Shampoo ever have, so try even harder to kill Ranma, hate how she make Shampoo confused.  Maybe if had told her then she would have loved Shampoo... but it to late.  You know why Ranma love Akane?  Deep down, she good person, just like Ranma.  She always stand by others, even enemies.  Not like Shampoo.  Ranma hate Shampoo cause deep down Shampoo horrible selfish person.   Shampoo still mean.  Shampoo still petty.  Shampoo still cruel.  Shampoo still arrogant.  No one ever be friends with girl like that!"  Shampoo voices had steadily been rising in pitch, finally reaching a piercing crescendo of self loathing that made Ukyo wince.

	"Snap out of it," shouted Ukyo as she slapped Shampoo to the floor.  Shampoo looked up in mute surprise at a fire eyed Ukyo  "Stop wallowing in the past!  You don't have to be like that anymore.  What's important is to realize where you've screwed up and make up for it.  You can change all that stuff that your unhappy with.  You don't have to be lonely any more.  I'm sure you could make friends if you tried.  And you can start with me.  What say we let bygones be bygones and be friends?"  said Ukyo as she extended her hand to Shampoo.

	Shampoo looked at Ukyo's offered hand and then stuttered in disbelief, "U-ukyo mean it, want be Shampoo friend?"  

	"Sure thing sugar."

	Shampoo hesitated only a moment longer and then enthusiastically grabbed Ukyo's hand in both of hers and nearly ripped it out of its socket with her eager shaking.  "OKAY!  SHAMPOO UKYO FRIENDS!"

	As Ukyo tried to pry Shampoo's hands from her poor little crushed one Shampoo suddenly asked, "Um... Shampoo never have friend before, what do?"

	"First..." said Ukyo through gritted teeth, "You let go of my hand."

	"What?  Oh, sorry!" said Shampoo as she saw Ukyo clutching her now purple hand.  "Here, let Shampoo see."

	"Nooo thanks, I think you've done enough damage already...*gasp*"  Ukyo felt Shampoo ever so lightly take her hand in hers and lightly rub it as she looked into Ukyo's eyes.

	"Please?!  Shampoo sorry, make better."

	The desire to please in Shampoo's eyes was captivating, and Ukyo could only wordlessly nod as she kept staring into Shampoo's hopeful eyes.  Shampoo maintained the eye contact as she slowly began to massage Ukyo's abused hand, lightly applying pressure here and there, restoring circulation and releasing endorphins that took away the pain.  "And kiss to make better."  Ukyo shivered as Shampoo's lips brushed against her hand as lightly as a feather.

	Ukyo cleared her throat awkwardly as she stood up straight.  "Um... well, friends do stuff together, how about we go shopping at the mall soon?  After all, you need some new bras."

	"Ok, but only if Ukyo get some too.  Hmm, what size Ukyo anyway?"  Before Ukyo could reply she let out a scream of pain and indignation as Shampoo ripped off the taping over her breasts.  'Tsk, tsk.  Really should go clasps, much less pain take off."  Shampoo then cupped Ukyo's breasts.  "Hmm.  C cup right? And about thirty- no wait, they getting bigger, about thirty-..."

	"WE CAN FIGURE THAT OUT WHEN WE GET THERE!  HANDS OFF!"

	"Jeesh, only try help... Ukyo think... Akane maybe come?"

	"After all you've done?!" said Ukyo with a raised eyebrow.

	Shampoo looked down ashamed, "S-shampoo was hoping... maybe A-akane could be friend too.  ...Akane have warrior spirit, Shampoo admire that.  Keep always fighting for help others.  Big heart.  But so insecure, think plain, no pretty, but Akane beautiful.  Wish hadn't helped make so insecure in past..."

	"Well, then you need to apologize to her, but it's gonna have to be real serious considering all the history between you to.  I know! I'll make up with Akane first over that whole wedding thing (I think that's why she's been giving me the cold shoulder lately) and then get her ready to listen to you.  Then you can beg for forgiveness and treat us to lunch.  Once she's relaxed we can invite her out to the mall with us."

	"How bout Shampoo make special bentos!"

	"Uh...I don't think that's such a good idea just yet...With restaurant food there's no worry about something having been slipped in..."

	"Uh... yeah, Shampoo guess done that before," said Shampoo sheepishly.      

	"Heh, I remember when Akane told me the story about those command pork buns you made.  She got real pissed off and started yelling "its not funny!" while I was laughing my ass off. Hahahahaha!  Her stuck with a cold and Ranma... ACCHHOO!"

	"Hugging when sneeze," finished Shampoo as she did just that  "Ukyo catch cold?  Need warm up," whispered Shampoo as she snuggled in closer to the topless chef and giggled.

	"This isn't funny Shampoo!  Would you quit playing around?!"

	"Ukyo seem think funny bit ago."

	"..."

	"But Shampoo stop playing round now," said Shampoo in a serious voice, yet she didn't let go of the chef.  

	"....."  Ukyo looked down into Shampoo's now serious and apprehensive eyes.  A gasp escaped her lips as she felt one of Shampoos hands move to the back of her head.  Ukyo couldn't deny that she knew what was about to happen, and yet as Shampoo closed her eyes she found her self unable to even close her speechless mouth.  Time both seemed to go into slow motion and zip by, so that after a pause that seemed to last forever and before she knew it Shampoo's mouth was over hers.  

	Ukyo's body tensed and her fists clenched as she first felt Shampoo's tongue invade her mouth.  But moments later its gentle non threatening explorations made her body relax and her eyes closed too.  Even in its gentleness Ukyo could feel an underlying deep hunger that had never been satisfied.  It scared her because she could feel something similar stirring inside of her.  

	Ukyo broke the kiss, surprised at the instant sense of loss when Shampoo was no longer inside her.  "This is a mistake Shampoo..."

	"Why?" said a disappointed Shampoo as she moved back toward Ukyo.  "Shampoo... Shampoo skida anta!"

	"Are you trying to say you love me?!  Don't make me laugh, your just drunk and horny!" spat Ukyo as she moved away.

	"What?  Ukyo think no one can love her?  Just cause Ranma no love?"  Ukyo stopped in her tracks as Shampoo continued.  "Much admire bout Ukyo.  How many sixteen year old Japs make own living work for selves?  Most adults someone else slave do things they no like.  Ukyo better than all them!  Ukyo love what do, watch passion put into oko...oko...um, miyaki stuff."  Shampoo, sensing Ukyo's irritation quickly added, "Must make best in world!  Shampoo love independent spirit that follow own path," declared Shampoo as she took one of Ukyo's hands in hers.  

	"Ukyo rough and tough, but have good heart underneath.  Help Shampoo despite rival.  Shampoo wish be like that."

	"Heh, you only talk tough sugar.  I mean, have you ever actually been able to kill anyone?"

	"No..."

	"See, I rest my case.  Your more of a softy underneath you amazon skin than I am," said Ukyo as she squeezed the now blushing Shampoo's hand and prompted, "Go on.  I believe you were in the middle of telling me how wonderful I was."

	"Heh, maybe we like each other much ways.  Shampoo feel same loneliness in Ukyo which in Shampoo.  Know hurts much, want take way from Ukyo.  And Ukyo no care what foolish others think.  Still guy dress even others know girl.  Mmmhhh, and look so good as guy or girl," whispered Shampoo as she dropped Konatsu's top to the side and entwine herself around Ukyo.

	"Hmmphh.  You're just looking for a replacement Ranma," smirked Ukyo.  

	"No, Ukyo got much more than that little boy.  Like backbone.  No pussy foot round.  Once know what want try make hers.  Ukyo got confidence, aggressive, like be dominant, right?  Shampoo like strength like that," whispered Shampoo suggestively into Ukyo's ear.  

	Ukyo then gasped as Shampoo began to nibble said ear.  She never imagined they could be this sensitive or stimulating.  Shampoo, having accomplished her goal of creating an opening swung around and kissed Ukyo again, this time with much more force.

	Shampoo's desperate hunger was no longer lurking under the surface, it was assaulting Ukyo's mouth full force.  Ukyo's breathing grew ragged and shallow and she felt her own hunger rising inside of her.  Tentatively at first, she met Shampoo's assault.  Shampoo instantly slowed down as Ukyo first began to probe at her tongue, then picked up speed and entered into a dance with it.

	Gaining confidence, Ukyo began to push Shampoo back into her own territory.  Shampoo offered no resistance and Ukyo soon found herself assaulting Shampoo's mouth with more and more force as she found herself becoming more and more aroused.  The little noises that Shampoo started making only added fuel to the fire that Ukyo could feel building between her legs.

	Ukyo really liked those sounds Shampoo was making and wanted to find some way to increase them.  "Well, lets just see what Shampoo was going on about glomping girl Ranma," thought Ukyo.  Backing Shampoo against a wall so she could maintain pressure on the back of her head, Ukyo moved her arms down to tightly embrace her.  Shampoo let out an approving sound as their breasts squished against each other.  

	"Oh man," thought Ukyo as she felt both pair of breasts grow erect together, "Shampoo's right.  No way this would feel as good with a guy."  Ukyo began grinding her hips to create more friction and jolts of pleasure as her tits rubbed against Shampoo's.  She was rewarded by the start of a low moaning from Shampoo.  

	Encouraged, Ukyo sent one of her hands down south and started squeezing Shampoo's hot ass.  Shampoo's moaning instantly became much more intense.  "Hmmm.  She really likes that, eh?  Well good, cause so do I."  Ukyo brought her second hand down to give attention to the other cheek, pressing Shampoo even harder against the wall so as to not loose much pressure against their breasts.  

	Finally Ukyo broke the kiss to recover her breath and try to stop her mind from reeling.    Shampoo stared questionaly at a bewildered Ukyo, unsure if she'd retreat again.  Her fears seemed confirmed as Ukyo turned around and tried to slow her breathing down.

	"Ukyo... sorry if go to fast... just wanted for so long... ACK!"  Shampoo let out a scream of girlish delight as Ukyo whirled around and threw her over her shoulder's.  "Oh help!"  Poor  virgin Shampoo captured by ecchi brute.  What fate await defenseless Shampoo in the heantai's lair?  Help!  Put Shampoo down brute!" cried Shampoo in a melodramatic tone as she swatted at Ukyo's backside.

	"Defenseless?!" snorted Ukyo as Shampoo tore apart her pants and panties to gain better access.  "Who're you calling brute?!" grimaced Ukyo at a particularly stinging smack.  "Ouch!  Cut that out Shampoo!  Ouch!  Oh, that does it, I'm gonna get you back for this, mark my words, paybacks a bitch.  Ughh, God damnit Shampoo, how much do you weight?!"  Ukyo was finding this to be a lot harder than she'd imagined.  The stairs up to her bedroom seemed a lot longer than she remembered.  And Shampoo wasn't making this any easier, what with her "helpless" flailing and lubrication of the shoulder Ukyo was trying to keep her balanced on.

	"Ukyo saying Shampoo fat?!"  screamed an indignant Shampoo as she began to "helplessly" flail even harder.

	"Well, your tushy does seem a bit cushy," teased Ukyo as she mercilessly pinched Shampoo's upturned ass.  "Seems city life's making you soft girl."

	Ukyo thanked God that Shampoo was now distracted and had her hands crossed indignantly over her chest.  "Hmphh!  As if.  Anyway, Ukyo seem like fine.  Womanly to have ample curves.  Show ready make baby." 

	"Heh.  Well, I'm not Ranma.  Being ready ain't gonna do you any good with me."

	"Never know, Shampoo got instant Nanniichuan left..." said Shampoo with an evil smile.  

	"...you're not serious are you?" said Ukyo nervously as she slid open the door to her room.

	"Ukyo want be father or mother?

	"All I want right now is you dummy!" said Ukyo as she tossed Shampoo roughly onto her futon.  From her now supine position Shampoo spread her legs wide before Ukyo.  This was even better than all her fantasies with Ranma had been.  Ukyo realized that she'd always been the dominant partner in those fantasies, and that she was getting so turned on by dominating Shampoo.  She didn't let it show though.  Ukyo smiled an evil smile, better to make Shampoo squirm a bit more.   

	"Oh ho.  Getting mighty presumptuous, aren't you bitch?"  Ukyo swore she heard Shampoo take a sharp intake of breath at that.  So she continued with even more force, getting right in Shampoo's face.  "Thinking you can make me your bitch and get me pregnant, then expecting me to pleasure you just cause your presenting your hot little body?!  You think I'm some weak willed fool who can't control my hormones?!  Your real full of yourself bitch, thinking that your so hot that you all you gotta do is flash your pussy and I'll lose control and ravish you.  Time you learn who's in control here!  On your stomach bitch!"                

	Shampoo, who was breathing really hard now, instantly flipped herself over.  This was even better than all her fantasies with Ranma.  She realized that even though she was supposed to be the tough independent amazon warriors all her fantasies had revolved around Ranma being the dominant partner, rescuing her and taking care of her.  That had almost gotten them killed that one time with Pink and Link when she'd forced them to pretend to have her helplessly captured with the submissive wife flowers, all so she could have Ranma rescue her.  She was surprised at how turned on she was getting just by being yelled at and obeying.

	"This is for all that abuse you gave my ass earlier!"  snarled Ukyo as she gave Shampoo's ass a quick hard smack.  "And this is for suggesting I get pregnant with your child!" sneered Ukyo as she followed up with another hard fast smack to Shampoo's ass.  "And this is for plotting to turn me into a guy!"  growled Ukyo as she turned her attention to smacking Shampoo's other cheek.  "And this is for trying to kill me tonight!"  yelled Ukyo as her spanking became more forceful and rapid, as did her breathing.

	"Yes!  Yes!  Shampoo bad girl!  Punish Shampoo! Bad girl deserve be punish!"  screamed an equally aroused Shampoo.  Ukyo climbed onto the small of her back and brought her left hand underneath Shampoo's ass to push it up into the air.  Ukyo's rhythm momentarily faltered as she realized where this put her hand, but then increased with even more earnestness as she could feel her hand getting wetter and wetter with each smack.

	"Oh yeah, you can bet I'm going to punish Shampoo.  Shampoo's been a very bad girl.  And a naughty one.  This is for being a pervert and enjoying your punishment!"  Each blow was accompanied by an upward push on Shampoo's pussy, thus increasing the amount of impact absorbed by her ass.  "And this is for having bigger breasts than me!"  "And this is for flaunting them like some slut!"  "And this is for rubbing my face in it"  "And this is for ripping off my bandages to take my measurements by hand!"  "That hurt you know!"  "And this is for lubricating my shoulder and making it so fucking hard to carry you up here without dropping you and looking like a fucking idiot!"  SLAP!  SMACK!  WHACK!  SMACK!  WHACK!  SLAP!    

	Ukyo loved the feel of spanking Shampoo's sexy ass.  How it first accepted the smacking hand, letting it sink in slightly, then the resistance as she made contact with the layer of firm, well toned glutes.  Watching Shampoo's beautiful creamy skin take on shades of pink then raw red was also very exciting.  Ukyo began adding sadistic little pinches to the reddening areas of Shampoo's ass in between smacks.  

	Shampoo had felt a great heat building in her pussy when Ukyo had first cupped her mound.  That hand then pushing against her pussy combined with all the reminders of what a naughty girl she was were driving Shampoo crazy with the desire to let that mounting heat explode.  Ukyo's pinching of her sore ass proved to be the trigger that set her off.  

	Ukyo stopped in disbelief as her lower hand became drenched.  She just stared wide eyed at the convulsing and moaning amazon.  Then... "Oh my God!  You're such a pervert Shampoo!  I can't believe you!"  Hmmm, might as well use this stuff, thought Ukyo as she started using Shampoo's juices like oil, rubbing them into the amazon's ass.  Soon Shampoo's ass was shiny like a treasure in the moon light that Ukyo just couldn't resist, but first...

	*SLAP*  "What do you think your doing slut!" Did I say you could get off yet?!"

	"But Shampoo couldn.." *SLAP!*

	"Barbarian!  I see I'm going to have to teach you some self control!  Now there better not be another peep out of you until I'm done or I'll make you're ass so red you won't be able to sit down for a week!  Understand?"

	"Hai!"  said Shampoo as Ukyo resumed her spanking and the accompany litany of sins which was linked with each blow.  Shampoo bit her lip to keep herself from crying out.  She so wanted to get off again.  Being able to have an orgasm caused by another was such a novel and fulfilling experience, but Ukyo had said no, and Shampoo was willing to play along, for now.   Besides, its was an interesting challenge trying to hold it in, and the fact that she was obeying an order that ran against her natural impulse added to the building excitement.  If it weren't for Ukyo's command she never would have been able to delay gratification even though she knew it'd bring a much greater pleasure in the end.  Still, she was curious to test Ukyo's ability to follow through on her threat.

	"And this is for hogging Ranma at the Hot Springs, I didn't even get a turn with him!"  SLAP!  Shampoo sensed Ukyo's rhythm falter as she ran out of grievances against the amazon.  Before Ukyo could stop Shampoo broke Ukyo's command and continued for her, "And this for time Shampoo try kill Akane and frame Pantyhose Boy!"  "This for time me nearly get Ranma and self killed against Pink and Link!"  "And this for all times Shampoo beat Pink Link so they revenging!"  Ukyo pulled out her spatula's and made good on her promise to her disobedient masochist with a merciless pace; smack!smack!smack!smack!smack!smack!smack!smack!

	Shampoo tried to keep pace as her blurted out confessions continued, working there way back to her life before Nerima,  "timeshaveoffReiZore'shairforinsultandtimewrestleBanDeidin

mudtoruinnewdresscauseprettierthanShampoo'sand..." (Ukyo noted that Shampoo had not a word to say on Mousse).  Finally Shampoo reached the end of her confessions and let the monstrous orgasm that'd been building inside of her loose.  She swore she could feel every individual muscle in her body constrict at once and then explode into convulsions.  

	Shampoo turned over so she could behold Ukyo's face and imprint it with this release.  All of the tension drained from her body leaving her feeling lighter than she could ever remember.  Lying naked before Ukyo, covered in sweat and sin, Shampoo regretfully noted Ukyo's angry face.  "Course, now she see what horrible person Shampoo is..."

	Ukyo was about to chew Shampoo out for her disobedience, but stopped as she noted Shampoo's resigned look, "Ukyo see how horrible Shampoo is now?  No blame Ukyo for being disgusted."

	As Shampoo turned her head away Ukyo reached out and reassuringly cupped the side of the amazon's face, bringing it back to face her.  "Idiot," chided Ukyo as she touched Shampoo gently on the nose, "I don't care about all that crap.  Yeah, you've done a lot of awful things, but that's all in the past, what matters is what you decide to do now."

	"But Shampoo's..." Shampoo stopped as she considered what Ukyo was saying,   then blinked in surprise.   Tears started to flow down her cheeks.  Ukyo still liked her!  Even after finding out what type of person she really was Ukyo still liked her!  All of her sin had been brought out to the surface by Ukyo, and now Shampoo felt it wash away with her tears.  Despite being covered in sweat and cum Shampoo felt the cleanest she'd ever been in her whole life.  Taking Ukyo's advice to heart, Shampoo drew the chef in for a light kiss.  

	"Mmhh, you're one hell of a good kisser sugar," murmured Ukyo as she cuddled up to Shampoo.  "You shouldn't get so down on yourself, you've got good points too.  Besides, it's not as if I'm some saint or anything, I've had a manipulative plot or two against Ranma and Akane in my time.  Hmmh, you know, if Ranma's not going to be mine I still owe that jerk for dishonoring my family and stealing our business."

	"Ukyo? you getting scary look on face."

	"Well, the more I think about it the more I'm getting pissed off.  If he's loved Akane all this time he should have been honest about it instead of leading us all on...  That jerk!  I bet he gets off on having us all fight over him!"

	"Shampoo no think Ranma like that, could have slept with Shampoo but didn't..."

	"That's cause he's got no balls.  Plus Akane would have killed him.  You've got to admit though, he has a huge ego, it must make him feel soo manly to have us all after him.  Hah, well now I'm more manly than that little boy, wouldn't you say Shan-chan?"  said Ukyo with a leer as she climbed on top of Shampoo and cupped her breasts.  

	"Mmhh.  Yes, Ukyo much more manly than that fem boy," murmured Shampoo as she ran her fingers down Ukyo's spine.  

	"That cads going to pay for leading us all on.  He's just like that lying father of his.  Making me fall in love with him again just to trick me out of my revenge!  Ooh, when I think about all that free okonomiyaki that glutton conned out of me!"  Shampoo gasped in pleasure as Ukyo began angrily squeezing her breasts.  "Mark my words Satome, my vengeance will have you begging for mercy!  We'll show him that hell hath no fury like women's scorn, right Shan-chan?!" said Ukyo as she pointed at her unexpected conspirator.  

	"M-me?  Uh, what Ukyo plan?" said a nervous Shampoo.  It looked like the relative calm that had settled over Nerima since the wedding fiasco was about to be shattered.      

	"Um, I'll figure that out later, all I can think of is ecchi stuff right now," laughed Ukyo as she began exploring all over her Shan-chan with hands, mouth, and tongue.  She marveled at how responsive Shampoo was.  Even the lightest lick or brushing of fingertips elicited some little noise from the amazon.  It felt like playing an instrument, strumming here brought forth a deep moan, strumming lower caused it to increase in pitch.  "God, she's like one big erogenous zone," thought Ukyo as she ran her tongue along the underside of Shampoo's breast and used circular strokes on her stomach, causing the amazon to purr with delight.  

	"Mmmhhh, what wrong with ecchi revenge?  Shampoo show you ecchi revenge."   Shampoo suddenly spun herself around 180 degrees and used Ukyo's thighs to pull herself up to the surprised chefs pussy.  Before she could react the amazon's powerful thighs had clamped down around her head and Ukyo found herself face down in Shampoo's crotch while her own was being probed by an energetic tongue.  To help her tongue thrust deeper Shampoo grabbed Ukyo's ass and started squeezing downward on it.

	Ukyo was meanwhile grabbing at Shampoo's thighs and trying to break free, but the harder she struggled the more Shampoo ground Ukyo's face into her pussy.  "If Ukyo want breath again, Ukyo start licking," taunted the amazon.  "Ukyo no beat Ranma if so slow and weak, Shampoo need train."  

	At first Ukyo refused to be humiliated further, but Shampoo's ruthless smothering eventually forced her to give in to Shampoo's inviting pussy.  It was a struggle for Shampoo to hold her release back, but she wanted to cum with Ukyo at the same time.  Just when she felt she couldn't subdue it any longer Ukyo finally climaxed and Shampoo joined her in ecstasy.  

	The two ended up in a pile of tangled limbs.  "That was dirty Shan-chan.  I'd smack you, except I'm not sure which one of these is my arm.  I'll get you back, *yawn* but not tonight," warned Ukyo as she basked in the relaxing afterglow of their mutual orgasm, savoring the blurred feeling of not knowing where her body ended and Shampoo's began.  

	Sensing her partners tiredness, Shampoo leaned over and gave her a goodnight kiss to the forehead.  "Thanks Ukyo, t-this mean lot to Shampoo," then slyly, "but me see need work on Ukyo's endurance."

	"Gah!  What have I got myself into?" thought Ukyo, "This nympho has more and bigger orgasms than me and she's still rearing to go?!"  Aloud; "As if.  Some of us still have to get up at the crack of dawn and prepare our restaurants for breakfast.  Speaking of which, don't you need to be getting back to the Cat Cafe?"

	"Um... about that... can Shampoo work for Ukyo?   Have much experience waiting and cooking."  Shampoo didn't want to go back home and face Cologne, especially after how'd she behaved this afternoon.  Worse case she could announce Shampoo's mission a failure and try and force her back home.  Shampoo didn't relish the thought of having to try and out maneuver her matriarch.  Hopefully enough family sentiment remained that Cologne would look the other way, but this afternoon it seemed she was willing to sacrifice her granddaughter rather than lose face before the tribe again.  

	"Sure.  Don't expect to get paid more than Konatsu though," replied Ukyo with avarice burning in her eyes.  Just adding up how much extra business she'd get from guys by having a knockout waitress like Shan-chan was making cash register sounds go off in her head.  Ohh, when they'd went shopping she'd have to keep her eyes out for something skimpy to force Shan-chan to use as a uniform.  It'd be the perfect contrast to Konatsu's formal kimono.

	Shampoo snuggled up to Ukyo and watched her face as she drifted off to sleep.  "Ukyo so cute," thought Shampoo fondly as she caressed her new beloved's face.  What a wonderful ending to a day which had looked so bleak and hopeless.  Everything had been lost to her in one horrible moment, but she'd ended finding a friend and someone who'd finally accept her love.  She wouldn't let anyone take that away from her, even her grandmother.  Shampoo knew there was going to be lots of craziness and trouble ahead, but she wasn't going to let that overshadow her happiness now.  With a blissful sigh she snuggled in closer to Ukyo and joined her in sleeps embrace.



------------------------



POST FIC AUTHOR RAMBLINGS: Anyone who want to pick up the ball and run with this can go ahead.  I'd be quite interested in the results.  I've got plenty more ideas for this plot line, but I accomplished my goal and am not going to do anything else with it.  I might be persuaded to hand over my outline for the rest of the story line to someone really serious about continuing it.  In my dreams this would make a really good douinshiji (I'm sure I mangled the spelling).              

	Unlike most lemons the purpose of this story wasn't dressing for a lesbian sex scene (that was just the icing on the cake:), but a dressing for my explanation of why Shampoo didn't kill Ranma.  None of the explanations I heard seemed adequate to me.  After gnawing on it for awhile all the pieces came together perfectly and I realized that Shampoo must have fallen in love with Ranma before she met his male half.  That's when the idea for this fic was born.  Having such a narrow purpose I figured it'd be the shortest story I'd came up with.  If thirty five pages is the shortest I can do I'm a little afraid at the size that a real story might end up.    



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