as I know you have been writing good humor fics (maybe theirs an office for
that somewhere):
be afraid! very afraid! ruthless, soulless, merciless, honorless c+c to
follow!
I'm shaking, and i dont even know what im gonna write yet.

Lo... Xel...Xelloki had a problem.

what does the prefix xel add to Loki?

Xelloki was the God of Mischief.

or is he not really loki, just a self aggrandized immitator? (or is he like
shin-loki?)

Sif also said Xelloki wasn't allowed to be mischievous with Thor. Sif was
not the All-Father. Sif could not issue Imperial Edicts. Her threats were
only backed by her sword arm and her own female creativity.

Xelloki was far more afraid of Sif than Odin. Angry women were far more
creative when it came to hurting men then men could be to one another.

this last sentence need not be so blatant. the joke carries itself without
explanation IMO

Was meddling worth Sif's wrath?

Didn't a god have to be true to his purpose?

"Argh! I can't take it!" Xelloki said as he pulled at his hair.

that was great, you cut off the thought at exactly the right point

"D... Did Xellos just have an emotional outburst?" Lina asked in shock.

"That's what it sounded like," Sylphiel said next to Lina's side.

"Everyone be quiet! I'm trying to read this!" Zelgadis complained as he
squinted and tried to read the symbols explaining Sm'llii O'ffal's Spell

of

Reversal. It just had to have been written by a near-sighted, two-fingered
troll who had to use charcoal instead of ink. Worse, it was written on

cheap

parchment that threatened to crumble into dust with every violent

movement.

As ancient as it was, 'violent' meant dust motes falling upon it.

last sentence unneccessary beacuse: (keep scrolling)

Xelloki turned around and smiled. "No, I didn't. I only made you think I
did."

"Yes, you did. I saw you. You even shouted," Lina insisted.

Xelloki's eyes widened enough that they appeared open. "Oh, so now you're
saying that you believe in everything I say or do. Well, that's a

refreshing

change of pace."

"I didn't say that!" Lina corrected. "I'm not that stupid."

"So you don't believe I had what appeared to be an emotional outburst?"

"Of course not. I don't believe... I mean I do... Wait a minute," Lina
paused to try and sort out exactly what Xelloki was trying to say and what
she may or may not have agreed to.

of how cool that last bit was. looks like you may have actually contacted a
real being here

While she pondered the matter, Xelloki went back to considering more
important issues than tormenting his new playmates. It appeared there was
only one decent solution. It was time to sub-contract. That way Thor could
be harassed by proxy. It was the closest thing to direct contact Xelloki
could manage without risking his neck, or more important body parts, to
Sif's dainty broadsword. The one that regularly disemboweled Storm Giants
that pissed her off.

id make the broadsword a rapier or something, dont want to go overboard with
the 'dainty' joke
and forget the storm giants (do you listen to TypeONeg?)

Gourry raised his hand, shouting "Oh, oh! I know what it is."

"Well?" Lina asked.

"It's a Xel-phone."

you just about lost me with that, but then i read a little further and saw
you werent just going to leave it that way, so anyway...

Both Lina and Sylphiel's eyes widened.

Lina was the first to properly react. "Oh no! He's under the effects of

the

Curse of Kleppe again!"

"We have to exorcise it!" Sylphiel agreed.

Try a tumbler full of benzene and napalm

"I understand what it must be done for Gourry-sama's sake," she said
solemnly. "Give me the Band of Purity."

Lina handed her a white headband.

like a chastity belt for thoughts?

A white aura formed between Sylphiel's hands as she chanted, "In the name

of

Chumba-wumba,

please, no more

"What, Mephisto's been ousted again? Who's in charge this time?

Blackheart?

Daimon Hellstrom? Satannish?"

where have you heard of satannish?

The woman on the screen shouted, "Hey, stupid!"

Tamiya looked around. There was no one else in the room. She must have

been

talking to someone else on a different channel. He headed toward the
refrigerator again.

An empty can chromed of the back of his head.

thats 'caromed'
(i wont entertain the possibility of such a pun)

"I meant you, you oversized grease monkey!" the woman screeched.

"That's some interactive television," Tamiya admitted.

The woman nearly pulled her hair out by the roots in frustration. "The
answer to evening the score with Aoshima is right here. Just dial
1-800-PURE-EVIL."

"That's twelve numbers. There should be only eleven in a one eight hundred
number."

haha, like when mr burns is hypnotising his new baseball team and their all
like 'we cannot give one hundred and ten percent, by definition onhundred
percent is all that is possible to give' droning etc.

The tiny man, obviously delighted at being relieved of his burden, said,
"Senbei would do his happy dance, but his back is killing him. Bye-bye."
With his declaration made he crouched down slightly, then leaped up in the
air, talking off like a little rocket.

"Must be action figures from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. That little

guy

looked exactly like Chow-Yun Fat." Tamiya reentered the house and tore off
the wrapper, leaving a trail of brown paper behind him. When he opened the
box, he saw the only object it contained was a CD in a jewel case

entitled,

'The Real Satanic Verses.'

i think i have that album, its called 'Larks Tounges in Aspic' by King
Crimson

"But it's relatively close. In sales terms it's as close as you can get to
free without going over."

Tamiya quavered a bit. "I don't know as I want to part with my soul."

Mara-Satana said, "Sure you do. It's the only way you can beat Aoshima.
After all, he's got the edge since he already sold his soul to us."

"He did?"

"How else do you think a smug, little, self-righteous prick like him can
avoid getting the beating he so richly deserves all the time?"

"Why that little bastard! I'll do it. What do I have to sign?"

just great, im glad i kept at this

"Powerful enough to beat her up. Yes, that's it. I think someone might

have

said she'll probably only go out with someone who defeats her in combat."
The demoness congratulated herself on modifying an old law some recently
extinct tribe of warrior women in China had used.

demonesses love doing that. who can blame them?

Mara-Satana rolled up the contract and hid it within her ample cleavage.

She

continued rummaging around in it until she came up with a vial of greenish
fluid sealed by a cork. She unstopped the vial, and the fluid began

bubbling

as it came into contact with the air. "Drink this and you'll become the
recipient of near unimaginable power."

Tamiya accepted the offering. He sniffed the contents of the vial. "It
smells just like my Granny's goulash."

or maybe Jager?

"Want me to help?"

"Want to lose a hand?" Mara-Satana stated coldly.

Mara Satana defending her honor

"WHAT?!" Mara-Satana raged. "You wanted great power! Take the damn

amulet!"

"No. If the price of power is to look uncool, I don't want it. Style is as
important as strength."

god, do i agree

"What if I don't?"

"Then we'll use the Cube of Atlas to give you your super power."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"It's inserted anally."

heeheeheehee, you said 'insert'

"Quick, get us up there before it's too late!" Keiichi hopped on the back

of

the motorcycle, perched right behind Megumi. It would have been quite
arousing, except for the fact it was his sister's body he was tightly
pressed against.

so???

Perched from her position high on top of the thunderheads, Mara-Satana
summoned all of her mystical might and enchanted a bolt of lightning that
would have done even Thor proud. Satisfied it had the necessary spells,

she

sent it roaring through the cloud to magically seek out its target far
below. Delighted at finally resolving the empowerment issue, she looked
through an opening in the cloud produced by the magic bolt as it passed
through. "Hope you get a charge out of this, you moron! Hahaha... Eh?" The
demoness looked more closely at where the bolt was destined for. "Hmm,
either he's reproduced himself asexually, or something unexpected has
occurred."

those of course are the two options

For a moment, Keiichi thought it was all over, that the lightning had

struck

him and he had gone to heaven. And then he saw Tamiya nearby, and realized
that there was no way the two of them could have ended up in the same

place.

allright, ill give you that one :P

Besides, he still felt like a loser. If heaven couldn't cure that feeling,
then nothing would, and he wanted to hold on to the idea that death would

be

able to hold some measure of peace for his soul.

the big question

It was great. He was no longer a weenie. He was strong and buff and...

Still

the same  guy he was before he got bigger. It was an illusion. Nothing had
really changed. He was just bigger now. Inside he remained the same timid,
lovable loser he had been before. But at least he wasn't small. He was a

tad

better off than before, as long as he didn't let his newfound muscle turn

to

flab. Then he would be a fat loser. He silently vowed to being working out
starting today.

great paragraph



the rest was more setup than humor. Look forward to see where this goes.




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