Max M. wrote:

as I know you have been writing good humor fics (maybe theirs an office

for

that somewhere):
be afraid! very afraid! ruthless, soulless, merciless, honorless c+c to
follow!

Why, that's the best kind I like. :)

I'm shaking, and i dont even know what im gonna write yet.

Lo... Xel...Xelloki had a problem.

what does the prefix xel add to Loki?

Reference to a couple of earlier chapters. Here Loki is also supposed to
also be Xellos in the Slayers universe. Gary Kleppe referred to him as
"Xelloki' and I like it enough to steal... I mean pay homage to it by using
it for him in this.

Xelloki was the God of Mischief.

or is he not really loki, just a self aggrandized immitator? (or is he

like

shin-loki?)

Explained above.

Xelloki was far more afraid of Sif than Odin. Angry women were far more
creative when it came to hurting men then men could be to one another.

this last sentence need not be so blatant. the joke carries itself without
explanation IMO

Not so sure about that myself. In addition I've found when I try to be
subtle, I end up having to explain things to a lot of people.

Was meddling worth Sif's wrath?

Didn't a god have to be true to his purpose?

"Argh! I can't take it!" Xelloki said as he pulled at his hair.

that was great, you cut off the thought at exactly the right point

Thanks. This is not exactly a heavy piece. Humor is usually best delivered
with minimal lines so as not to mess up the punchline by stretching things
out too long.

Reversal. It just had to have been written by a near-sighted,

two-fingered

troll who had to use charcoal instead of ink. Worse, it was written on

cheap

parchment that threatened to crumble into dust with every violent

movement.

As ancient as it was, 'violent' meant dust motes falling upon it.

last sentence unneccessary beacuse: (keep scrolling)

Eh? Didn't see why the bit about it being really crumbly should  be cut.

"Of course not. I don't believe... I mean I do... Wait a minute," Lina
paused to try and sort out exactly what Xelloki was trying to say and

what

she may or may not have agreed to.

of how cool that last bit was. looks like you may have actually contacted

a

real being here

Nah. I just end up in a similar state of mind around fast talkers. :)

While she pondered the matter, Xelloki went back to considering more
important issues than tormenting his new playmates. It appeared there

was

only one decent solution. It was time to sub-contract. That way Thor

could

be harassed by proxy. It was the closest thing to direct contact Xelloki
could manage without risking his neck, or more important body parts, to
Sif's dainty broadsword. The one that regularly disemboweled Storm

Giants

that pissed her off.

id make the broadsword a rapier or something, dont want to go overboard

with

the 'dainty' joke

He's being sarcastic by using an inappropriate adjective. There is nothing
'dainty' about Sif broadsword.

and forget the storm giants (do you listen to TypeONeg?)

Wouldn't do. it provides the contrast as to why it's not really dainty, and
explains what she can do with it.

Nope, Don't listen to Type O Negative, I'm afraid.

"It's a Xel-phone."

you just about lost me with that, but then i read a little further and saw
you werent just going to leave it that way, so anyway...

Aww. I thought it was a good pun. It's where that whole  Curse thing
originates from.

Curse of Kleppe again!"

"We have to exorcise it!" Sylphiel agreed.

Try a tumbler full of benzene and napalm

Heh. They'll use magic instead since both like Gourry.

"I understand what it must be done for Gourry-sama's sake," she said
solemnly. "Give me the Band of Purity."

Lina handed her a white headband.

like a chastity belt for thoughts?

Or as someone else put it, a Christian Rock Band to help them out.:)

A white aura formed between Sylphiel's hands as she chanted, "In the

name

of

Chumba-wumba,

please, no more

Nice to see someone got that. Was going over  one hit wonders the other day
and their name came up.

"What, Mephisto's been ousted again? Who's in charge this time?

Blackheart?

Daimon Hellstrom? Satannish?"

where have you heard of satannish?

One of the more prominent demons in the Marvel Universe, though Mephisto is
far and above the most used one. Satannish has plagued Dr. Strange, the
Defenders, and Avengers West Coast on a number of occassions. He has a
second mouth in his green mottled demonic torso, if I recall correctly. He's
launched takeover efforts of Mephisto's realm before.

refrigerator again.

An empty can chromed of the back of his head.

thats 'caromed'
(i wont entertain the possibility of such a pun)

Nope. It was a mistype on my part.

"That's twelve numbers. There should be only eleven in a one eight

hundred

number."

haha, like when mr burns is hypnotising his new baseball team and their

all

like 'we cannot give one hundred and ten percent, by definition onhundred
percent is all that is possible to give' droning etc.

Yep. Humor along the same lines.

guy

looked exactly like Chow-Yun Fat." Tamiya reentered the house and tore

off

the wrapper, leaving a trail of brown paper behind him. When he opened

the

box, he saw the only object it contained was a CD in a jewel case

entitled,

'The Real Satanic Verses.'

i think i have that album, its called 'Larks Tounges in Aspic' by King
Crimson

Didn't know there was one. Made it up so I could use the 'Audio Book' joke
in the next line.

"How else do you think a smug, little, self-righteous prick like him can
avoid getting the beating he so richly deserves all the time?"

"Why that little bastard! I'll do it. What do I have to sign?"

just great, im glad i kept at this

Revenge can leave the door for humor wide open at times. :)

"Powerful enough to beat her up. Yes, that's it. I think someone might

have

said she'll probably only go out with someone who defeats her in

combat."

The demoness congratulated herself on modifying an old law some recently
extinct tribe of warrior women in China had used.

demonesses love doing that. who can blame them?

True.

Tamiya accepted the offering. He sniffed the contents of the vial. "It
smells just like my Granny's goulash."

or maybe Jager?

Nah. goulash just invokes thoughts of pure ickiness on my part.

"Want me to help?"

"Want to lose a hand?" Mara-Satana stated coldly.

Mara Satana defending her honor

So to speak.

"WHAT?!" Mara-Satana raged. "You wanted great power! Take the damn

amulet!"

"No. If the price of power is to look uncool, I don't want it. Style is

as

important as strength."

god, do i agree

Ditto.

"What if I don't?"

"Then we'll use the Cube of Atlas to give you your super power."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"It's inserted anally."

heeheeheehee, you said 'insert'

Now Beavis and Butthead I could do without. :)

"Quick, get us up there before it's too late!" Keiichi hopped on the

back

of

the motorcycle, perched right behind Megumi. It would have been quite
arousing, except for the fact it was his sister's body he was tightly
pressed against.

so???

Well, some of us that live outside fo West Virginia don't see that kind of
thing as a good thing. Got all sorts of taboos and such. :)

below. Delighted at finally resolving the empowerment issue, she looked
through an opening in the cloud produced by the magic bolt as it passed
through. "Hope you get a charge out of this, you moron! Hahaha... Eh?"

The

demoness looked more closely at where the bolt was destined for. "Hmm,
either he's reproduced himself asexually, or something unexpected has
occurred."

those of course are the two options

The first two that came to her mind.

For a moment, Keiichi thought it was all over, that the lightning had

struck

him and he had gone to heaven. And then he saw Tamiya nearby, and

realized

that there was no way the two of them could have ended up in the same

place.

allright, ill give you that one :P

Heh

Besides, he still felt like a loser. If heaven couldn't cure that

feeling,

then nothing would, and he wanted to hold on to the idea that death

would

be

able to hold some measure of peace for his soul.

the big question

Well, I'm in Keiichi's camp and hope so too.

lovable loser he had been before. But at least he wasn't small. He was a

tad

better off than before, as long as he didn't let his newfound muscle

turn

to

flab. Then he would be a fat loser. He silently vowed to being working

out

starting today.

great paragraph

Thanks.

the rest was more setup than humor. Look forward to see where this goes.

Nowhere, which is one of the reasons it's an omake. It's too silly to fit
in, and I have different plans for one of the characters in it. I got plenty
of other ideas and villains to use in this place, have no fears of that.
This was just meant to be a little humorous idea that came to me that I
wanted to put down to 'paper' and hopefully would amuse some people.

Thanks for the comments. They were really appreciated.

Have to go out soon. Hopefully will get to the others comments later or
tomorrow

D.B. Sommer

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