DB Sommer wrote:
I have no idea whatsoever of this series. So let's give it a whirl.
It's fun. At least, I liked it. It looks like they ran out of
funding, to judge by how much was crammed into the final episode, but I
thought it was still good.
There were no prereaders, so read at your own risk:
Understood.
I should have a grue pre-read for me.
"A bet, then
Nooo. Not another 'Bet' fic. :)
Unintentional, but it IS a pair of godlike beings betting on the
outcome of one somewhat gender confused man's life....
Much of his time was spent doing the things that a teacher must do,
and, increasingly, the things that a woman must do. So much so that
when he was required to be neither,
If he is a 'he' then being a woman is hard, unless you're from R 1/2.
Luckily, Gouchi was able to give Hibiki a few pointers. And the
choker that alters his voice, of course.
At the end of the futon, Kurage was curled up, not waking. The sign
about the dog's neck was clearly labeled, "Do not disturb."
Heh
I think that was the best line in the fic.
But Sensei was Sensei.
Heh. This could be problematic.What's her age, by the way? Might want to
mention it.
Kuzuha Fuko is fourteen. I'll see what I can do about working that
in -- mostly it's meant for people who've seen the series, though.
A good deal of attention had been paid to the recent modifications --
modifications that would be perfect for, say, putting out a fire
with all the style and grace that a being of her statue
statue?
Stature. :p Was typo. Is now fixed.
*hides the hammer behind his back*
The only problem was that the arena was too much in the control of
her enemy. On the other hand, while her enemy could define the
arena, only _she_ could define the weapons.
A balance, of sorts.
In theory. The practice is less fair.
Opening his mouth to explain, Mori realized that he couldn't remember
anything important to discuss, either, and instead said, "I need a
job...."
Heh.Nice abilities that one had.
Except for Gouchi, the powers there are strictly non-canon.
[Amawa]
She lay on the futon, staring at the ceiling.
Dressed in casual clothing at the moment, she had found the energy to
change, considering
considered (I think)
Will revise.
"Of course!" the woman all but crowed. "I'll make arrangements at the
baths right away."
At the baths? Odd place to do that sort of thing, I would think.
Himemiko thinks the same; in the series, Himemiko's assistant
suspects that while Hibiki looks like a woman he's really a man, and is
constantly searching for a (subtle) way to prove it.
Of course, one of her subtle attempts was to try and grope Hibiki
(she fell into a pool), so....
Her homework sat on her desk before her, though her eyes were
distant. Her attention was as far from the homework as the weather,
heavy rains keeping ghosts and perverts
Heh. Interesting duo to mention.
More from the series. :p
The leap that had told her that trust was a good thing, and the leap
that had saved Sensei's job at the school.
Heh. Obviously backstory I'm unaware of.
Yeah. Most shoujo scene ever, outside of possibly Battle Lesbians.
But her smile failed her whenever a man approached Sensei.
Why? What was it that made her worry and sigh whenever Sensei was
near men?
Heh. I can just imagine what it is. :)
Ain't it cute?
But today was Saturday, so she would have to wait until Monday before
she could deliver it. Maybe she could bake some cookies.
Heh. And so it won't get done at all.
Fuko's no slouch.
She had left early, heart hammering loudly in her chest, small bag of
cookies and love-letter secure in her hands.
Oh. So she did write it. I thought she was going to procrastinate until it
was too late.
Hm. Some of the other girls in the series might have. That's
probably why they all take a back seat to Fuko. :p
But she could return the same bright, pointless smile she always wore
towards this stranger in Sensei's body.
Heh. More perceptive than perhaps even she realizes.
And Gouchi lay something on her so she could see even things she
probably wouldn't WANT to....
"I see. Thank you,
Hibiki-sensei!" She had smiled when her mother died, and she could
keep on smiling even as Sensei was vanished.
had vanished (perhaps?)
Either, I think.
"You won. My champion was taught too well, I suspect."
"Then I am right."
"No, you forced the issue with your control over the arena."
"Another game, then?"
"No. I think I tire of playing, for the time."
Hmm.. Intersting way to end things. I think I got the gist of it, despite
not knowing the series. Interesting, and the surreality worked for his
piece.
Glad you liked it!
I struggled for hours with the concept of Hibiki as a mortal warrior
who accidentally wandered among the courts of the Fey, where Himemiko
and Gouchi were Titania and Oberon respectively.
I seem to remember a myth of a human swordsman who entered the realm
of the fey, and lived among them for a time, only to be made old when he
returned to Earth, and then when he went back to the Fey, they laughed
at the old man he'd become.
There's probably no real parable between the two, there, but it
really ate at me for a while, just the concept of Hibiki as a pawn in
Gouchi(Oberon)'s attempt to make sport with Himemiko(Titania) unkowning.
In the end, I left only a few vague hints of that, instead putting
down what's written here. :p
Thank you VERY much for taking the time to C&C!
D.B. Sommer