Surprise! It's finished! Finally!
It took a long time because it turned out a lot longer than I
expected, but here it is.
Just a little note. Some people might consider the first scene to be
lime. I don't, which is why it isn't tagged, but I figured warning
would be fair.
Hope you enjoy it.
Stormwalker <stormwalker@airmail.net> presents...
Consciousness came slowly to Linna as she drifted in that
pleasant, peaceful state between 'asleep' and 'awake'. It was
warm and soft and and comfortable, a refuge from the torment of
her nightmares and the fear of her waking life. Little fragments
of awareness drifted down on her like snowflakes, each a fresh
revelation of light or warmth or some pleasant fragrance she
could not quite recognize. They were strangely compelling,
calling her to awaken, to fully experience the sensations they
offered her, and she found herself drawn by their call.
Her senses came back to her slowly, almost teasing her, each
added revelation a piece of a puzzle her mind tried to assemble.
First was that scent... it was vaguely familiar, almost
intoxicating, drawing her in. Next came a feeling of warmth that
seemed to envelop her... warmth and softness against her bare
skin. Her eyes opened slowly, admitting the morning's light.
Red... a deluge of red overwhelmed her vision. It took her a
moment to realize she was looking at Nene's hair. The scent...
yes, that was Nene's, too... how did she know that? The warm
touch against her body... was Nene's body... bare skin on bare
skin... they were naked? Well, mostly naked, anyway... and a bit
sticky, too, she realized... and yet so comfortable...
Her eyes snapped completely open with realization, and she
must have jerked in surprise as well, for the red hair was
suddenly brushed aside to reveal Nene's sparkling green eyes and
a rather mischievous smile. Linna felt herself drawn in closer
to that oh-so-comfortable warmth as Nene's arms tightened around
her, pulling her into a gentle embrace. Just the movement of
Nene's body against her own sent a ripple of pleasure through
her, and she felt a heat rise in her cheeks.
"Good morning, Linna-chan," Nene greeted her with a soft,
sultry tone. "Did you sleep well?"
Linna shivered slightly, then felt her arms close around
Nene, seemingly of their own accord. She could feel the smooth,
nearly perfect curve of Nene's body, feel Nene's soft breasts
pressed against her own, feel Nene's legs loosely wrapped around
her... feel the heat building within her in response... why did
these things excite her so? She closed her eyes a moment as her
mind added all of these sensations together and came to an
answer. "Um... Nene... did we...?"
Nene grinned wickedly, a look that sent a very different
kind of shiver down Linna's spine. "Yes, we did."
Linna drew a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Oh,
my..." she whispered softly, her mind running rampant with the
implications of that answer. Then, as if triggered by the
realization, the memories of the night before, and just what they
*had* done, came back to her. Her eyes widened at the new
sensations that accompanied those memories... and the sudden,
overwhelming desire to recreate them.
"Oh, my, indeed," Nene answered teasingly, pulling Linna in
for a soft yet impassioned kiss. "And if I know *that* look,
we're about to do it again, too..."
Linna's mind started to protest--she needed time to process
all of this, it insisted--but her desire was far stronger, and
she willingly gave herself over to it as she answered Nene's kiss
with one more forceful. Rational thought could wait... for now,
she had better things to do.
*****************************************************************
Stormwalker presents...
Megatokyo 2037
Bubblegum Crisis: Cry of the Phoenix
A fan novel by Douglas A. Reeves
Chapter Six - Implications and Complications
*****************************************************************
Note: This is a work of fanfiction, and is not intended to make
a profit for the author or anyone else (for that matter, if it is
making a profit for someone, please let me know so that I can put
a stop to it.) The Bubblegum Crisis OAV series is owned by
Artmic and Youmex, to whom the author is deeply indebted for
providing such a wonderful world in which he can play. Please do
not use this story or any part thereof without the permission of
the author. Thanks.
Previous chapters of this story can be found on my website
at http://web2.airmail.net/a0011387/fanfic/
*****************************************************************
Linna settled into the chair across from Nene, resisting the
temptation to take the far-too-attractive seat on the couch next
to her. She needed to talk, and think... and if the night before
and this morning had been any indication, they weren't likely to
do much talking or thinking at that proximity to each other.
Even now, after a long and refreshing shower, the desire to do
something less rational and more enjoyable was very much present.
<I've never been this... insatiable before,> she thought to
herself. <Is it just because this is something new, or have I
just wanted her for that long?> She shook her head. That wasn't
the important question to be asking... there were implications to
what they had done, things they needed to talk about.
She smiled, wondering why she felt so happy about this. It
was something she never would have considered doing in a rational
state... at least, not considered very long. She'd had the
desire before, she admitted to herself; it had started that first
night she'd spent with Nene... and even before that. There was
just something about Nene that made her feel safe, and
comfortable... Nene pushed back the fear just by her presence.
The draw was irresistable, and when Nene had held her last night,
the pent-up, hidden desire had broken free and run wild. It was
nothing she'd ever had before... not planned, or considered, or
even anticipated. No, this was spontaneous in a way she had
never before experienced. Her old self would have called it
foolish, she knew... but her old self was dead, and the Linna
that remained was not about to let this go.
That was why she needed to talk. To be sure she understood,
and Nene understood, what they were getting into. That she
wasn't getting her hopes up over nothing, that the emotions she
felt were real... and that they were shared. She had to know
what Nene was thinking, and feeling. Certainly they had
passion... but it took more than passion to make something like
this work, and they hardly had the best of circumstances.
Nene smiled at her, and while not all the mischief was gone
out of it, it was a different sort of smile than the almost
predatory one she'd gotten when they were in bed together. "Good
morning again, Linna-chan."
"Good morning," Linna answered, leaning forward slightly,
trying to adopt a serious expression and finding it rather
difficult. <I *know* I can be more rational than this,> she told
herself. <Come on, Linna, you've had this discussion before.>
<Not with another woman,> another voice in her head reminded
her, but she pushed that thought down. "Nene... last night...
and this morning... well... we need to talk about it some. I
mean, don't get me wrong... it was wonderful... but--"
Nene's smile softened slightly, and she leaned forward in a
mirror of Linna's bearing, her eyes meeting her lover's. "It's
not quite what you're used to, is it?" she asked quietly.
Linna shook her head slightly. "No... it's not. Not in a
lot of ways." She paused, trying to put her thoughts together in
a manner at least resembling coherence. There was something
about Nene's gaze that made it difficult... both reassuring,
quieting her worries before she could give them voice, and also
flustering in its own way. She could feel the heat rise in her
cheeks as she continued. "I've never... been in love with
another woman before, Nene. And I've never done anything this...
suddenly."
Nene smiled, blushing slightly herself. "Linna, I've never
done anything like *that* with anyone." She shook her head and
laughed softly. "It just... I knew. I've known for a while,
Linna... that I love you... and I knew you needed me. So it
wasn't that sudden... not for me, anyway. I'd been trying to
tell you for a while, and couldn't. I didn't know what you'd
think."
Linna shook her head. "I don't know what I would have
thought. I... never thought I went that way," she said softly.
"I never thought that way about... about a woman. Until you.
Does that mean I'm a..." her voice trailed off.
Nene laughed, rising from the couch to walk over and hug
Linna, kneeling in front of her as there was no place for her to
sit. "It doesn't really matter, does it? As long as we're here
for each other, as long as we love each other, does it make any
difference what people call us?"
Linna relaxed in Nene's embrace, not having realized until
that moment how anxious she had been. "I guess not," she agreed.
"Still... can we not tell the others about this yet? I'm...
well, you know Priss will have a field day with this, and I'm not
quite ready to deal with her yet."
Nene laughed. "Ashamed of me, are you?" she prodded, then
smiled quickly to indicate that she was kidding. "No, I know
exactly what you mean... we'll let this be our secret for a
while."
Linna let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Nene... I just...
well... this is all so new to me. I'm not sure how to deal with
it yet."
"Me, too," Nene answered with a smile. "We'll have to
discover it together." She then pulled back a little bit to look
into Linna's eyes again. "I just want you to be happy, Linna. I
want to see you smile again. I'm here for you... I always will
be. Okay?"
Linna nodded, pulling Nene back to her. It was a different
kind of embrace from the one they'd shared before... less heated,
less passion and more emotion. In a way, it was the answer she
had been looking for, proof that there was more to what she felt
than just desire. She did love Nene... really loved her, and she
could lay her doubts to rest. Holding her lover--there was
something about that word that appealed to her; she'd never
thought much of it before, but it just seemed appropriate--
tightly in her arms, she let out a soft sigh. "Thank you...
Nene-chan," she whispered softly, looking for more words but
finding none. There was more she wanted to say, she knew, but it
eluded her in that moment. Somehow, though, that didn't bother
her as much as it might. They would have time, she knew, to talk
about those things... and she could wait.
*****
Sylia's gaze flickered to the doorway as Nene and Linna
entered the room together. There was something different about
them, she thought, looking them over with a more critical eye...
something she couldn't quite place. Moreover, while it once
might have been typical for Nene to be late to a meeting, it was
quite out of character for her of recent times. "Nene, Linna...
you're late," he said reprovingly.
"Sorry, sorry," Nene apologized quickly, sharing a quick,
almost guilty glance with Linna before smiling at Sylia and
dropping herself unceremoniously into one of the chairs. She
was blushing. Linna, too--the dancer's complexion had been
ghostly pale since her resurrection, but there was a definite
tinge of red to it then. There was something more here... some
secret the two of them shared, and Sylia had a suspicion about
it already.
<I should have seen this coming,> she thought to herself.
Nene had always been the sort to reach out to someone in pain,
and Linna was effectively caged, so she had no place else to
turn. For the two of them... it was a rapidly-drawn conclusion,
but it fit the evidence rather well. Nene had never been good at
hiding her feelings... a little more observation of the younger
Saber should confirm or refute her theory effectively.
Ultimately, it made little difference to her what the two
did in their own time... so long as it didn't affect their combat
performance. She did not expect it to be a problem; Nene was too
professional and Linna too driven by what had been done to her to
let outside concerns interfere with their work. At the same
time, it was something to keep an eye on. One could never be too
cautious.
She leaned back slightly into her chair, enough to be
comfortable but not so much as to seem casual, and gave a
pleasant smile. "I trust that we are all rested and in better
spirits than when we last met?" she began, careful not to look at
Priss when she said it. "I've prepared the training simulations
for each of you, and I suggest you spend some time with them.
It's been more than two years since we ceased operations, and I
doubt that any of us are in fighting condition, except possibly
Nene."
"I can take a hint, Sylia. You don't have to dance around
it." Priss answered with a scowl. "Nene's with ADP. Linna
hasn't lost a step, and you're hurt. I know who you're talking
about. It's not like I can afford to go to a gym or anything."
"Well, that won't be a problem anymore," Sylia countered.
"You'll notice I added some fitness equipment and a weight room
to the training center. It should be more than adequate for your
needs, but if you see anything missing, feel free to ask."
"Well, you just thought of everything, didn't you?" Priss
shot back. "Let me worry about me. I'll be ready when it's time
to go."
Sylia gave her best soothing smile. "I have no doubt of
that." Priss seemed to deflate a bit at that, so she turned her
attention to Nene. "I have some things I need to discuss with
you later, also... there are some things I would like you to
research."
"Right," Nene agreed. "Do you want to just go ahead and get
that out of the way now?"
Sylia nodded. "If you like. Priss, Linna, Mackie is
downstairs, he'll run the simulators for you. We will join you
shortly." Linna nodded, then stood and left the room. Priss
hesitated a moment, as though she had something else to say, but
just shook her head and walked out.
Nene frowned slightly after they were gone. "Sylia... Priss
hasn't... been herself lately... she's taking everything
personally for some reason."
Sylia leaned back further into her chair. "Yes, I
noticed..." she said wearily. "There's something else to that,
too... but I don't think I will speculate on that at this point.
I do think it will work itself out soon, though."
Nene nodded, though she seemed uncertain, leaving Sylia to
wonder if she realized just how much a part in Priss' issues she
had played. "If you say so," she agred hesitantly, then sighed.
"Now... you said you had some other things you wanted to
discuss...?"
*****
Priss winced at the sharp clang of metal on metal as the
stack of weights fell back into place, her arms having given out
under the strain. She spat out a curse, gritting her teeth
against the pain. "I coulda done this in my sleep before. I've
gotta be better than this."
A shadow fell over her then, and she looked up to see Linna
take a seat on the bench next to her. "Don't push too hard all
at once, Priss," Linna reminded soothingly. "You'll hurt
yourself, and then it'll take even longer to get back to where
you were."
"Yeah, yeah," Priss muttered. "I know. It's just... it's
frustrating."
Linna smiled slightly. She was in an oddly pleasant mood,
Priss thought, more like her old self. It was disarming... it
was hard to be angry at her when she was actually smiling for
once. "I know," she agreed. It's... hard to deal with all the
changes, isn't it?"
Priss shook her head. "It's not that... it's me. I'm not
half what I used to be, and I know it. It's like..." she shook
her head, unable to finish the sentence.
"Like everything I told you that night in the bar is true.
And everything that Sylia's told you. And everything Nene showed
you that day that you didn't want to see." Priss started to
protest, but Linna shook her head. "Hear me out, Priss. You've
spent the last two years trying to end it all, but you're too
stubborn to do it all at once, so you've been drinking yourself
to death instead. You know it's true, and so do I."
Priss sighed. "Yeah. You, and me, and Sylia, and Nene...
hell, now even Leon's gotten in on the act. And dammit, he looks
almost as bad as I do."
Linna gave her a knowing smile. "So that's what's got you
so wound up... I was wondering. He's got a real way with words,
doesn't he?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Priss denied
flatly.
"Yes, you do," Linna countered. "What did he say, Priss?
He asked you why you quit singing?" Priss scowled, and Linna
smirked. "That's a tough one, isn't it? Singing was the only
thing you really cared about... it was your life. For you to
just up and quit..." she shook her head. "It's not like you,
Priss. You can't tell me you don't miss it."
Priss glared at her. It was true, she knew... she did
miss it. She missed it even more than she missed fighting. She
went to shows because she couldn't stay away, but every time she
saw someone else up on that stage, it burned her inside. That
was her stage, and she wanted it back.
"You can't run away from the questions forever, Priss."
She bit back the immediate response. It wasn't the first
time she'd been told that, and she'd told people to fuck off
before for less... but she couldn't do that now. Not when it was
Linna... not when she was right. Just like with Leon the other
night.
"Priss..."
"I hear ya," she said quietly, staring at the ceiling to
keep from meeting those eyes.
"Priss, we only get so many chances at the things we want in
life... and if we miss them, they slip away." She paused, then
shook her head, then smiled slightly. "Here I am getting all
philosphical. I guess dying and coming back does that to you."
Priss sighed, and thought about that a moment. "There's
something you ain't telling me, Linna. You're different today
than you were three nights ago. A lot different."
"Yeah, probably," Linna agreed. "But we weren't talking
about me. We were talking about you, and how Leon got your
goat."
Priss sighed. "Yeah, whatever. Don't go getting any ideas
from this."
Linna laughed. "Ideas? I wasn't getting any ideas... any
ideas here must have come out of your head."
Priss scowled, and bit her lip as she realized she was
blushing. "It's nothing, I tell ya. He's a cop. You know I
hate cops."
"Yeah, whatever," Linna retorted in her best Priss-voice.
It wasn't a good imitation, but it got the point across. "Priss,
I'm not going to tell you what's in your head. You know that
better than I ever could. But pay attention to what you're
really feeling. Quit hiding from yourself."
"Anything else, miss amateur shrink?" Priss shook her head,
then sighed. "It's just... sometimes I don't know what I'm
really feeling. I'm so used to pushing it all down, trying to
drown it all away, I don't know how to feel anymore."
"You'll figure it out," Linna answered with a smile. She
stood up then, and turned to walk away. "I've got to get back
to my workout, though... I don't think Nene wants to wait for me
here all night."
Priss nodded. "Right. And Linna... thanks. Really."
"Anytime."
*****
Sylia carefully lowered herself into her chair in the
databank room, arranging her injured arm so that it would not be
in her way. She had much work ahead of her this night, and yet
already she was weary. She had not slept well the last several
nights; concerns and speculations had kept her awake into the
night, and her injured shoulder forced her to sleep in
unfamiliar, uncomfortable positions where it was difficult for
her to relax. Though none of the others seemed to have noticed,
she could feel the effects of sleep debt... she was a step slower
mentally than she was accustomed to being, a touch less patient
than she might be, even slightly irritable. She knew she should
have handled Priss with more delicacy, if nothing else... though
her mood had improved somewhat after her workout, she did note.
More than that, though, she had the nagging feeling that she
was missing something. It was probably just her imagination...
with the small amounts of information she had been able to gather
to this point, there was very little that she could have missed.
Her intelligence channels had produced almost nothing of use
since Linna's reappearance, and the fact that she had to deal
with most of them indirectly did not help. Mackie had done an
admirable job of holding the web together, and he would get
better at handling those relationships in time, but there were
some agents he simply could not manage as well as she. She
briefly entertained the idea of allowing Fargo to know she was
still alive--it would help ensure his loyalty--but on the
overall, the risk of such a course outweighed the reward; he had
proven useful over the years, but outside of the Knight Sabers
themselves, no single operative was irreplacable.
No, she had known the difficulties that her "death" would
bring before she had set the plan in motion, and she had
accounted for them from the beginning. Nene, now that she had
been brought closer into the fold, was a valuable resource of her
own. Between her AD Police ties and her more legally
questionable methods, she could reach sources of information that
had been previously inaccessible, and would hopefully help make
up for the loss of efficiency from the more traditional channels.
Furthermore, Nene was more trustworthy than most of those
channels, and offered a perspective they lacked.
That thought brought her back to another consideration, an
idea she had been toying with for some time. Leon McNichol
already kept their most dangerous secret--the identities of
several, if not all, of the Knight Sabers--and he could be
extremely useful to her in many ways. At the same time, while he
was seemingly content to keep their secrets, she was not sure how
he would feel about helping them. For the chief of AD Police to
associate with the city's most prominent vigilante band would
undoubtedly form a conflict of interest. While the day might
come when she would have no choice but to turn to him for aid,
until then it was probably wisest to do without.
Still, she hoped that Nene's access to ADP records might
turn up some clues as to who was behind Linna's sudden return.
It was almost certain that whoever had set the trap that had
killed her to begin with had also been responsible for her
resurrection, but she had never been able to be certain who was
responsible for that. All the evidence she could find pointed at
specific parties within GENOM, but it was too convenient... she'd
come by the information too easily, with too little corroboration
from other sources. Answers that came easily were the ones
someone wanted you to believe.
No, there was something deeper here, buried within the inner
layers of the megacorporation's beauracracy. A faction of the
company, perhaps, but more likely a few highly-placed individuals
who were very skilled at covering their tracks. The critical
question, the one that held the key to this entire scenario and
the one that haunted her thoughts, was 'why?'. If she knew the
motivations, she could unravel the secrets and track down those
responsible. To this point, though, the method behind this
madness eluded her.
She stifled a yawn, then set to work. Exhaustion was coming
over her quickly; and there was work yet to be done. The
questions would wait--they would have to wait, at least until
she had more information--but they never left her mind.
*****
Leon took a sip from his third cup of coffee and leaned
back in his chair, the events of the past two weeks heavy in his
mind. Something was happening--something that involved the
former Knight Sabers--and whatever it might be, it was big. Nene
had been on an emotional roller coaster of late, such that he
could not help but notice. Only a week before she'd been near-
distraught after the disaster at 633; he knew the reason for
that now, having gotten the conformation straight from the
source. She hadn't been acting, either... while she had picked
up many skills since he'd first come to know her years before,
deception was not her strong suit. Then, a few days later, she
was suddenly fine again... not necessarily happy, but largely as
he'd come to expect from her.
That in and of itself he could almost understand. Nene had
a secret identity to keep, and she had to make her 'sick' excuse
convincing by being her 'usual' self when she returned... but
again, he knew her far too well to be fooled by any act. No, she
*was* her usual self, which meant there was still something going
on he didn't know about. As if that was not enough, no less than
an hour ago he'd seen her come in in a bright, bubbly mood that
seemed almost like what he would have expected from her before
the world went to hell. If he didn't know better, he'd think
she'd gotten--no, he did *not* want to think about that.
Still, there was something going on, and the more he
realized how little he knew, the less he liked it. He couldn't
fault her for not telling him; like she said, there were some
things "the Chief of AD Police should not see", but that didn't
mean he didn't want to know. There were too many secrets here,
and secrets tended to come around and bite people in the ass when
they least expected it. He *might* even be able to help them, if
he knew what was going on, though obviously it would have to be
outside any official channels. Nene, after all, was one of his
best officers, and he'd go out on a limb for her if he had to.
Then there was Priss. Her sudden reappearance brought
questions of its own, questions he'd been turning over in his
mind since he had first seen her with Nene when he had pulled
them over for speeding. She was bound up in what was happening
every bit as much as Nene; the fact that she'd resurfaced at all
was evidence to that end. Were the Knight Sabers coming back?
What effect had the apparent death of Sylia Stingray had on those
plans? And was Sylia really dead? All of these questions danced
in his thoughts, and there was little he could do to answer them.
He knew Nene wouldn't tell him, and expressing his curiosity
might damage his chances of learning by other means. At the same
time, he really didn't know where to start looking for answers.
What irritated him perhaps more than anything else was that
it didn't make sense. Why, after the Knight Sabers had been
inactive for two years, would they suddenly pop up again now?
To understand how the present, he needed to understand the past.
What had happened two years before? Why had the Knight Sabers
suddenly vanished to begin with? He was almost certain he knew
the answer to that question... one of them had died. It was the
only explanation that really fit the facts... and yet the events
of the present called it into question. Could it be proven?
Yes... as he thought about it, he realized that it could. He
knew the when... if he could figure out the who...
It was obvious once he thought about it. Any number of
young women disappeared on the streets of Megatokyo in a given
month, but most such cases were eventually resolved. For the
Knight Sabers, though... unless they were exceptionally sloppy
(which he found highly doubtful) or unless they were willing to
falsify evidence, they would have left nothing to show for their
loss, meaning the mysterious fourth Saber would have never been
found. A look into the remaining unresolved disappearances might
shed some light on the situation.
If nothing else, it was a place to start...
*****
Nene leaned back in her chair, watching her rookie partner
from the corner of her eye. She had assigned Akiko some
research dealing with the present case, to get her used to doing
this sort of legwork on her own, and for once she had to admit
that having a junior partner did have its advantages. She
really had been overworked lately, as Leon well knew, and having
someone else to split the tedium with was useful. She was almost
even prepared to admit that she'd been overly harsh in her
initial evaluation of the kid's ability... but not quite yet.
She was in a good mood--had been since yesterday, she reflected,
and had to smile at that thought--but she wasn't willing to go
quite that far yet.
Still, Akiko had come a long way since their first, rather
difficult, days as a team. Nene knew she had been too hard on
her at first; she was annoyed at having been assigned a kid--
and an underage kid, at that--as a partner, and she took it out
on her. Akiko, somehow, just absorbed it... didn't even seem
to hold it against her. She had to respect the girl's spirit,
even if she could be overexuberant sometimes. She tried hard
in everything, and while she was a bit naive and a bit immature,
she had real talent. It was just a matter of being patient, and
Nene was far more inclined to be patient at this point than she
had been in the beginning.
She leaned forward, reading over Akiko's shoulder, and was
about to make a suggestion of something to look at in more
detail when a soft pinging sound from her own computer grabbed
her attention. She knew that sound... it didn't mean anything
good. Dropping back into her chair, she turned to her screen
and read the message that was scrolling past.
ALERT: MONITORED FILE ACCESSED. MARKER 20341229A
USER AUTHORIZATION LMCNICHOL
The strangled sound escaped her throat before she could
quell the initial reaction. Shutting down the alert before Akiko
could read it over her shoulder, she tried to force down the
panic reaction. She'd set the program to monitor certain police
files which pertained to the Knight Sabers, so that she would
know if anyone was snooping around after them, and this marker
was one she knew by heart. 29 December 2034... it was the day
Linna Yamazaki was officially reported missing, and her file
opened. Nobody had touched that file in over a year and a
half... it wasn't closed, because it was unresolved, but it was
effectively dead. Why was someone... no, not just anyone... why
was LEON looking at it now?
She nearly jumped as she felt a hand rest on her shoulder.
Akiko was asking her if she was all right, and she nodded
quickly, trying to calm her racing heartbeat. "I'm fine," she
breathed softly, even as her mind was running double-time. He
knew... he knew something. He knew a lot of things already,
but none of that should have led him to this file. Linna had
been at her apartment when Leon had dropped by unexpectedly, but
she was certain he hadn't seen her then...
No... panic was not the answer. She had to convince Akiko
that everything was all right. Then she had to find out what
Leon was up to. She trusted him; whatever he did know, he
wouldn't put the knowledge to ill use... but she had to know what
he knew so she could work around it. First things first, though.
Turning to Akiko, she adopted her best sheepish/embarrassed look
and said, "Ah... Akiko-chan, I just remembered I was supposed to
meet someone today, and I have to change my plans... can you keep
working on this while I go make a phone call, please?"
Akiko looked puzzled. "Why don't you make the call from
here, then?" she asked.
"It's... ah... personal," Nene stammered, standing up from
her chair and nearly knocking it over in nervous clumsiness.
"I'll only be a few minutes..."
Akiko smiled knowingly. "Oh, it's one of *those* meetings...
I understand."
Nene blushed. Akiko probably thought she had a secret lover
or something, and while she did, it wasn't anything like what the
girl would expect. Still, it would do as an excuse, and she
really needed to disappear for a few minutes to pull herself
together. "Hai," she answered weakly, then waved and turned
away, walking as quickly as she could manage out of the office.
Once she was out the door, she sighed. "That was bad. That was
really bad."
Having left the initial panic behind at her desk, she began
to think through the problem more rationally. There were only
two reasons she could think of that he would be accessing that
file. Either he'd already figured out that Linna was the fourth
Knight Saber, or he was about to. Either way, Sylia would need
to be informed. Before that, though, she needed to find out what
other files he'd looked at... it probably wasn't the only one,
and the others would give her a good idea what he knew and what
he didn't. It was nothing to panic over, she told herself... as
long as Leon didn't know Linna was alive again, and there was
very little chance that he knew that, it wouldn't do him much
good to know she had been a Knight Saber.
That left the matter of finding out what he was up to. She
couldn't do that in front of Akiko, and checking on that sort of
thing from her terminal was probably not the wisest of courses to
take anyway. Taking a deep breath to reassure herself, she
turned down the hall toward the main computer room.
*****
On her lunch break, Nene slipped out again, doubtless
leaving Akiko with thoughts of secret rendezvous... if only she
knew, Nene thought. Truth really was stranger than fiction.
There were several places she had found in the ADP Tower where
she could make a discreet call to Sylia without being noticed or
disturbed, but none of them were quite secure enough for this
sort of business, so she headed home. She'd called first, of
course... she knew how paranoid Linna had become in that regard,
and she didn't want to disturb her by just popping up
unannounced. Besides, Linna was as involved in this at least as
deeply as Nene herself, so it was only right that she should
know.
Sylia, of course, was her usual professional self, though
Nene thought she looked tired, somehow. "What have you learned,
Nene?" her image asked on the videophone screen.
"Leon is getting curious," she explained. "This morning he
tripped one of the file markers I told you about, that I placed
on all of our personal information." She paused, then glanced
nervously at Linna. "It was Linna's... her missing-persons file
from two years ago. He also opened a number of other such files
on other missing girls... all of them disappeared within two
weeks of that date, and all of them were about the right height
and build to fit a hardsuit. He knows what he's doing, Sylia...
he's figured out what happened back then, and if he hasn't
figured out Linna was a Knight Saber already, he'll get it pretty
soon." Linna paled slightly, letting out a nervous sigh, and
Nene rested a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
Sylia nodded. "That has been a worry for some time," she
conceded. "With his resources, and with knowing about you and
Priss already, there was always the chance he would learn about
Linna and I also. I would be very surprised if he did not guess
about me after the destruction of 633... for someone with his
access to information, given his recent contact with you and
Priss, the timing is very convenient." She paused, considering
that, then asked, "Do you believe there is any chance he knows
Linna is alive?"
Nene shook her head, glancing at Linna to reinforce her
point. "No... if he knew that, he wouldn't have needed to go to
these files at all. I think he would confront me directly with
it at that point."
Sylia nodded slightly. "Very well. For now, Nene, continue
to act as you have. Chief McNichol has been a tacit ally of the
Knight Sabers almost from the beginning, and I do not think he
will interfere in our operations, but he is not the sort to sit
idle, and with his concerns over you and Priss it may not be
long before he involves himself in our affairs to the extent that
we have to bring him into confidence. Until then, however, there
are some secrets best kept even from the trustworthy."
Nene's thoughts turned back to his surprise visit to her
apartment between Sylia's "death" and return. "It seems that
way," she agreed. She wondered if she should tell Sylia about
that, but decided it was probably best not to, considering the
results of that discussion. She was good at omitting the truth,
but Sylia would catch her in an outright lie. "I'll keep my eye
on him."
Sylia smiled slightly, a reaction which surprised Nene. Had
she really anticipated this as much as she seemed to have, or was
it that nothing surprised her anymore? "Be careful not to overdo
it," she reminded. "As you have noted yourself, he can be very
perceptive about such things."
"Right," Nene agreed. Glancing at the clock, she added, "I
need to get back to work; I'm going to be late if I don't hurry."
She glanced at Linna, trying not to do anything the camera would
pick up... she wasn't really in that much of a hurry, but Linna
looked troubled, and she wanted to talk to her a few minutes
before heading back.
Sylia nodded. "We wouldn't want that, would we?" she replied
pleasantly. "Let me know if you come up with anything more."
"I will. See you next week, Sylia." With that, Nene cut
off the connection, then turned to Linna. "I wouldn't worry
about it too much," she reassured her. Even if he knew
everything--and he doesn't--we could trust Leon. I'm sure of
it."
"I believe you," Linna answered quietly. "It's hard not to
worry, though, when you're in my position, y'know?"
"Mmm... now that depends on what position you're in, doesn't
it?" Nene countered teasingly, sticking her tongue out at her
lover. "I bet I could make you stop worrying, if I had a little
more time..."
Linna laughed, then smiled at her. "You probably could...
but then you'd be late for work."
Nene sighed in exaggerated disappointment. "You're right,
of course." Smiling at Linna, she added, "I'll see you in a few
hours, Linna-chan."
"I'll be waiting," Linna answered as Nene opened the door to
leave. "It's not like I can go anywhere." Nene nodded, sharing
a long look with her before she closed the door. There had been
a sadness in those last words, she knew... a hint of a void in
Linna's life even she could not fill. It hurt to have to leave
her alone like that, but there was nothing to be done for it...
at least not today.
She needed to talk to Sylia again, she thought... but not
over the phone, and not in front of Linna... not about this,
anyway. They couldn't keep Linna locked away in this apartment
forever; they had to come up with a better answer. For the
moment, though, she had more pressing concerns... and like many
things she cared for, it would have to wait.
*****
Mackie stared blankly at the screen in front of him... the
same screen he had been looking the past several hours. There
was still something wrong with the design; he could tell that
much. It was where the flaw lay that eluded him. Rubbing his
eyes, he forced himself to look away from the work; sitting and
staring at it further was not likely to produce the answer, and
his engineering professors had always told him that when you
reached this sort of impasse, it was time to take a break.
Even so, it was something he had always found difficult to
do. He didn't like leaving something unfinished... it bothered
him, constantly hovering in the back of his mind until the
problem was corrected. He could force himself away from it for
a short while, but he knew before long he would be back at this
terminal, trying to work his way through the mechanics of the
problem again, searching for the imperfection in his design.
Still, even that small time away from the issue could help, if it
brought him a different perspective.
He wondered what it was that drove him to such pursuits.
Since going off to school he had come into his own... while he
had always known he had a knack for mechanical design, it had not
been until he was out from under his sister's shadow that he had
realized just how gifted he was. In the company of some of the
finest students in the world, he had excelled. It had been a
surprise to him... having grown up comparing himself to his
sister, a genius in her own right, he had thought his talents
average... or perhaps a little above. Now he knew better, and
while it was gratifying, it also drove him to push himself that
much harder... and he understood his sister that much more.
He had been naive before, he knew... the first time around,
the Knight Sabers had been a chance to play with cool equipment,
hang out around beautiful women, and even get to blow something
up every now and then. It had been very much a game to him, and
he suspected he wasn't the only one of them who viewed it that
way, at least at times. Even the decision to put his life on the
line to support Nene at ADP Headquarters had seemed almost
surreal... which was not to say that it hadn't terrified him...
but after it was over, it was just another adventure to talk
about. Nothing bad had happened to them, after all... nothing
bad ever did.
Until Linna, anyway. That had killed any such illusions he
might have had. After that, the dream had fallen apart, and he
was plunged head-first into reality. Sylia had begun to let him
in on some of her secrets, and he had figured out much of the
rest on his own. Why she had told him some of those things had
puzzled him at the time, but now he was certain... she had been
afraid that GENOM would come next for her, and had wanted him to
know what he would be facing if it happened.
Now, though, that Linna was back, and the Knight Sabers were
operating again (or soon to be, anyhow), it meant something very
different. Sylia had already trusted him with her secrets, and
knew she could trust him further. Furthermore, the event of
her "death" left him to manage her intelligence and business
operations. He was involved now in every facet of the Knight
Sabers' operations, and while the responsibilities were enormous,
it was also gratifying that he could take some of the load from
Sylia now... especially now that he understood just how much of
a load it was.
At the same time, he found the strain was substantial, even
when he was only carrying half the burden. There was little room
for error in anything he did... each task at hand required near-
perfection, whether in convincing one of Sylia's agents that he
was every bit as capable as she, or managing the strongly varied
personalities of the Knight Sabers, or--as he was doing now--
designing upgraded mechanical systems for the new hardsuits. Any
slip could prove costly, undermining trust or even endangering
lives... he had to be at his best every time, and the demands
were exhausting. He had to just stop and walk away from it
sometimes... to recharge. He probably should do that with this,
he knew... but he simply could not make himself leave it
unfinished.
Closing his eyes for a moment, he tried to clear the
distractions from this thoughts. If he was going to do this, he
needed to focus all his attentions on the problem at hand, and
get it done. After that he could rest, at least for a little
while.
*****
"Linna..."
She opened her eyes to find herself immersed in shadow.
She was mostly upright, held firmly by metallic bindings at her
wrists and ankles. They were cold, even through the semimetallic
fabric of her bodysuit, and there was a pervasive chill in the
air which the thin material could not keep from her. Computer
screens and diagnostic equipment surrounded her on all sides,
casting a pale light in the otherwise darkened chamber. She
could barely make out the silhouettes of figures standing in
the shadows; she could hear their voices but not understand the
words... except for the one which spoke to her.
"Linna Yamazaki..."
"What do you want?" she demanded, a chill running down her
spine at the familiar tone. She knew that voice... she had heard
it somewhere before... but where? The memory eluded her, a thin,
nebulous phantom of the past dancing just beyond her grasp. She
needed to know this. Sylia would need to know, if she ever got
free...
The voice laughed, the sinister sound of one who believed
himself beyond challenge. When he did respond, the absolute
certainty in his voice sent a chill down her spine. "Everything.
All is within my grasp, and you will help me obtain it."
She shuddered, resisting the effect of his voice. She could
not... would not believe it, and yet his words seemed far more
than idle boast. "Why would I help you? Who are you?"
One of the silhouette-figures stepped forward, enough that
she could almost make out his features... almost, but not quite.
"That, my dear Linna, would be telling..." he answered, not quite
mocking but certainly savoring the power he held over her. "But
you have helped me already, and you will do so again, of that you
can be certain.
She started, fear and panic rising within her as she
strained against her bonds to get a better look at the shadowy
figure. He was toying with her, having placed himself just
outside the range of what she could see. "What do you mean I've
already helped you?"
He smiled. She could see the smile now, one that might be
likened to a shark closing on its prey. "All in good time,
Linna... after all, you're my *secret* weapon... it just wouldn't
do for the secret to get out." He took another step forward
then, his face coming into view...
...and she snapped back to consciousness, staring blankly at
the mirror in front of her. The dream... it was the dream again.
How, though...? Last she remembered, she'd been sitting here
fixing her hair, trying to see if she could do something a little
different with it so that she could possibly go out. Had she
fallen asleep...? But she hadn't felt tired... and didn't feel
now as if she'd been sleeping.
<Daydreaming, I guess,> she thought with a shiver. <but who
ever heard of daydreaming nightmares?> Shaking her head, she
tried to think through what she'd seen... was it a memory?
Another fragment of the time she'd spent in the laboratory where
she'd been resurrected? It had to be... it was *like* the little
bits she'd remembered... but it was different, too. That
voice... she'd heard it before, but she couldn't remember hearing
it THERE. It was important, too... important that she remember
who it was... if only she'd stayed in the dream a moment longer.
Drawing a deep breath, trying to steady her trembling, she
stood and walked out of the room. Suddenly she didn't feel like
looking in the mirror anymore... her reflection seemed almost
haunted to her. Was it not enough that she faced these terrors
by night? Now they came to her by day also. Wrapping her arms
around herself tightly, she sat down heavily on the couch and
hoped that Nene would come home soon.
*****
Priss scowled as she picked her way through the crowd on the
way to the club's lower floor, where the stage had been set up.
The place was packed already, with thirty minutes yet to go
before the show started, and she wondered if she would get to see
the stage. Ultimately, it didn't really matter... she was here
for the music, and the atmosphere... she had never quite been
able to tear herself away from the scene, even after she had quit
singing herself.
She wondered why she kept doing this to herself. It hurt,
seeing other people up on stage, a lot of them doing covers of
the same songs she had been singing only two years before.
Thankfully, she still had the rights to all the songs she had
written, so she didn't have to hear *those*... but still, it
stung. Even so, she kept coming back. It was too much a part
of her, and she couldn't leave it behind.
A familiar voice in the crowd calling out to her grabbed her
attention, and she turned before she realized who it was. Leon.
If she had known it was him, she might well have ignored it...
but it was too late now, and really, right now he didn't seem
like such a bad person to be around. Maybe she was just getting
soft. Or maybe Linna was... no, definitely not that. She was
her own person... really. She didn't need anyone.
Still, she couldn't walk away now after he'd seen her, and
he had a pretty good spot picked out to watch the concert, so she
slipped through the crowd over to where he was standing. She
forced herself to smile a bit... and it came perhaps a bit more
easily than she thought it might. "Hey, Leon," she greeted in
the same casual-unimpressed voice she had given him for years.
He responded with the same confident, almost smug smile he
always had. "I thought I would find you here," he said, clearly
impressed with his own deductive abilities, "what with your old
guitarist in the band, and all." She blinked, surprised, and he
gave her a questioning look. "You didn't know about that?"
She shook her head. "He hasn't talked to me since... well,
since I quit," she said quietly. That was something she would
rather not remember... the split with her band had not gone well,
and as she looked back, it was very much her fault. She had
essentially just up and walked out on them, and as bad of shape
as she had been in emotionally at the time, they had still
deserved better. Evidently they had thought so, too, because
none of them had bothered to stay in touch.
Leon gave a sympathetic nod. "I see. Well, the word is
this band is pretty good... I didn't think they could pack a
place like this, though."
Priss nodded, looking around at the crowd. "I didn't think
anyone was doing this well lately." She shrugged a bit and
turned toward the stage, where some of the band members were
setting up their equipment. The guitarist wasn't up there...
that was unusual. If it was Roy, he was usual really picky about
getting his equipment set up. She was somewhat thankful for it,
though... if he was up there, he might see her, and she wasn't
sure she was ready to deal with that if he should want to say
anything.
A few minutes passed, and the band went backstage again. It
was almost time for the show to start now... they should be out
any minute. She bit her lip, not sure she wanted to watch now...
and wondering why it was she was so nervous. She'd never been
afraid to face anyone over anything. Was it because this time
she knew it was her fault?
She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she completely
missed the ripple in the crowd to her left and behind her. In
fact, it was only when she felt the tap on her shoulder that she
reacted, and even then there was a half-second's delay before she
whirled to face the tall, muscular foreigner. She recognized him
instantly; his height, his squarish jaw and his long medium-brown
hair made him distinctive, even in a place with as much ethnic
and stylistic variety as Megatokyo. Besides, he had not changed
much, even in two years. "...hello, Roy..." she said quietly,
leaving herself to wonder why her voice seemed so weak.
"Been a while, Priss," he answered, looking as if he were
not entirely comfortable with the meeting himself, even though he
clearly had sought her out. "Can I talk to you for a minute...
in private?"
She hesitated. What reason could he have to want to talk to
her now? He hadn't bothered to look for her over the last two
years... she would have been easy enough to find. Besides that,
she could see by the look in his eyes that he didn't just want to
talk. He wanted something from her, that much was certain... but
what that might be she had no idea. "...all right," she
answered. Still, this might be trouble... best not to deal with
it alone. "You don't mind if Leon here comes along, do you?"
Roy glanced at Leon and shrugged. "I didn't think you went
out with cops, Priss," he prodded, then smiled. "Yeah, bring
him. It ain't nothin' he can't see, I just don't want to discuss
it in the crowd. Let's go backstage." Priss glanced at Leon,
who nodded his agreement, and the two of them followed the
guitarist through the crowd.
Roy led them into what looked like the club manager's office
and closed the door behind them, then leaned against the desk.
"All right," he said. "Before I say this, I want you to know
that I'm not really happy about it... but I don't have a lot of
choice. The rest of the band asked me to come talk to you,
because we can't afford to lose this gig."
Priss looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean, lose
the gig?"
He shook his head. "Our no-good punk-ass vocalist flaked
out on us... went and got drunk off his ass and passed out, and
he can't go tonight. Reminds me of someone else I know."
Her eyes narrowed a bit, and she was about to give a
sarcastic answer to that when she remembered that only a few
minutes ago she was thinking thoughts that were only a little
less unkind about herself. She hadn't done quite that badly...
at least she hadn't quit on a concert night... but it had been
pretty abrupt. "All right. What does that have to do with me?"
Roy shot her a disparaging glance. "Don't be stupid, Priss.
You've seen how packed this place is. If we don't have a singer,
we're gonna lose a hell of a lot of money, and any reputation we
might have... and while 'Roshi might deserve it after this stunt,
the rest of us busted our asses to get this, and we don't want
to lose it. We need a singer, and you are a singer. You're even
sober, which is an improvement from what I've heard."
"I'm out of it. Have been for two years," she answered
automatically. She had thought that this was what he was angling
at, but she didn't want to give him any wrong ideas. She was
done with singing. She'd put it behind her, and she was never
going back. "My voice is shot, I haven't even practiced."
"Don't give me that shit," he countered. "You owe me this,
Priss. You walked out two years ago and suddenly I was out of a
job. Now's your chance to save this one for me and make it up."
"He's got a point, Priss," Leon pointed out from the corner
where he was standing. "Besides, you know most of this crowd
would rather see you, anyway. You were the last good thing this
scene had, and everyone knows it."
Priss glared at him. "You're not helping," she answered
flatly.
"I'm not?" There was that infuriating smile again, the one
he had when he knew he was right. She hated that smile, because
it was too damn hard to deny him when he was like that. "You
want to sing again, Priss. I've seen it in your eyes when you're
standing in the crowd. You need it. I think you should jump at
the chance."
He was right, of course. the words echoed the very same
things she'd been thinking earlier. She couldn't tear herself
away because it was too much a part of her. But she couldn't
just walk back on stage like nothing had happened. She didn't
have a band, and no club would hire her even if she did right
now... everyone remembered the way it had ended. She looked up
at Roy, whose regarded her with an impatient gaze, and nodded.
"All right," she agreed reluctantly. "I'll do this... but it's
going to have to be my music, because I don't know any of yours."
Roy nodded slightly, and though he did not smile she could
see the relief in his eyes. Yeah, they'd be able to find another
singer, as long as they didn't lose this. Even if she didn't do
well, she was helping someone she owed. It was something,
anyway. "I know all your old stuff still, and Dak's good enough
to pick it up on the fly. It won't sound great, but it's better
than nothing."
Priss gave a wry smile. "Well, let's get to it, then. We
don't have a lot of time."
Roy nodded. "I can get the club manager to stall a little
while... for him, it's still better than cancelling the show."
Priss nodded, then turned to Leon. "Well, looks like you're
gonna get your wish," she said, unable to put quite the edge on
her words that she was looking for. Why couldn't she be mad at
him? With a sigh, she shook her head. "Let's get going."
*****
She had never been so nervous in her life.
Actually, she told herself, that was not quite true. Once
she had been. One night nearly eight years ago, in a smaller
club on a smaller stage. Then, like now, she hadn't had her own
band... just a few people a promoter had managed to throw
together for the concert debut of a promising young singer. It
hadn't been a great performance. By her later standards, she
wouldn't even have called it good. What it was, though, was good
enough... good enough to get her another show, and another after
that.
That was then... this was totally different. Wasn't it?
The same butterflies danced in her stomach now as she stood on
the darkened stage. The same tension hung thick in the air. The
crowd had been told there would be a change in the lineup. They
hadn't been told what they were getting.
Really, it wasn't different at all. She was an unknown
again. They might not even recognize her, without her stage
outfit and makeup. She would have to prove herself all over
again. It wouldn't be a great performance... she didn't have the
voice for that, not when she hadn't practiced in two years.
She had the feeling, though. She knew it, as soon as she
stepped on stage. She could barely see the crowd in the
darkness, but she could feel the energy that permeated the room.
Leon had been right, damn him. She did want this. She wanted it
more than anything else in the world.
And now it was hers, if only for a night.
She raised one hand over her head, and the lights came up
in a blaze of dazzling white. It was the moment of truth. The
music started... a hard rock beat, a blaze of familiar guitar,
the backup vocals... and it was time. She opened her mouth to
sing, and something long-imprisoned in her soul burst free from
its cage and flew.
"I kept racing down the stormy highway,
Searching for my interrupted dream,
Letting all my lies and bitter illusions
Blow off my back, with the wind."
The words... the same words she'd begun every concert with
for as long as she could remember... rang out now with a purity
they had not known since long before she had given up the stage.
They were close to the heart... almost too close, now, as the
intensity of the music burned away her denial as refining flame.
It hurt... but she was glad of the hurt, having been numb for so
long. She blinked back tears, knowing they could be seen, and
for perhaps the first time not caring.
She let herself flow into the music, pouring every ounce of
strength she could summon into her voice. Even then, it was too
weak, but she didn't care. She could feel the power in the music
now... not in her voice, or even in the words, but something
deeper, something vibrant and alive. She closed her eyes as she
sang, and yet she could feel the audience before her, the band
behind her, the tangible spark of energy that flowed through her,
through the song, to them... and back to her.
This... this was life.
This was what she had lost.
She swore she would never lose it again.
Time passed, and the song ended, but the feeling did not
fade. She gazed out at the audience, and they, too, were alive.
For a moment, she wondered if they could feel what she felt, if
somehow her rebirth of the soul was transmitted to them through
the music.... but she had never been one to think in such terms.
Even so, there was a current like lightning that ran through the
building, and even if only she could feel it, that was enough.
Another song came and went, and another, and the sensation did
not fade.
All things, though, must end... and for all the energy she
had found, she could feel her voice starting to fade. She had
enough left for one more song, though... one she had already
chosen. She wasn't sure why she wanted to end on this... but it
just felt right. The lights shifted, illuminating the crowd, and
she paused a moment to look over them, her eyes seeming to
connect with each one. She nodded once, and the music began.
It was a quiet song, but one of raw, unfiltered emotion. A song
that bared the soul, and even as the introduction played, she
wondered why... and she also knew.
"The dancing city is a dry savannah,
In which, alone, I lost sight of my group of friends.
Don't stop, even sustaining wounds;
I feel pride in being here with you."
As she sang, she found her eyes drawn to a sole figure in
the crowd, and for all that she tried to tear them away, they
would not turn. The words seemed to compel her to him, as if
they had a message of their own to deliver beyond any she might
have intended... or perhaps exactly as she intended, not in any
conscious way.
"Sentimental youth contend for
The same love day after day,
And you are a wonderful rival to contend with."
As she sang, other words echoed in her mind... words of
distant and nearer pasts, denials and expressions and denials
again of the emotions that surged in her heart. Linna's voice
as well, so certain... did they see something she did not?
No... they saw something she refused to see.
"Running as fast as I could,
I turned around and cut into the wind,
Vowing that I would surely catch
The dream I had that day."
She closed her eyes, fearful that if her gaze lingered any
longer, that he would see what she began to... that she would be
revealed to him... and yet, she was certain there was no avoiding
that now. The song carried words, emotions she could not speak,
and she knew that he heard them... for that was why she sang.
"By the time people reach their distant past,
How much pain will they have come to know?
At night, when the weight of the journey has me feeling
down
I always remember your smiling face."
Images, now... even with her eyes closed she could see it...
that damned smile... the one that she still could not deny. She
had fought this for so long... fought so hard... but of late he
had broken through her resistance, and she knew it. Yet she
still fought.
"With burning eyes, I watched the setting sun
Dissolve into the clouds, and I wanted to relate
To tomorrow as if it were that day."
No more. The time for denial had ended... about herself,
about the mistakes she had made... about him. She had spent a
lifetime pushing people away, pretending she did not feel,
pretending she did not need. She opened her eyes again, scarcely
holding back the tears.
"Refusing to cry,
I will become stronger...
Someday, standing up tall,
I will head off with you."
The music faded to a long, soulful solo on the guitar, and
as it came to a close, she lowered her head, looking for a few
moments at her feet. There was silence... utter silence, as she
had not known at a concert before. Finally, she looked up again,
and smiled through her tears. "Thank you, everyone," she said
softly. "I'll see you all again soon." It was a promise, made
in weak voice but strong spirit. Priscilla Asagiri... Priss...
had returned.
The lights went down... and the response was thunderous.
*****
Backstage, Priss slumped down into a convenient chair and
leaned her head back, staring at the ceiling for a few moments.
She was tired... exhausted, really... and she both did and didn't
understand why. Singing was draining; it was far more physically
demanding than most people would think, but this had been a short
show, nothing like she had been accustomed to. At the same time,
though, this had not been an ordinary show by any definition, and
she had been away from the stage a long time. More to the point,
she was out of shape... her range hadn't been quite there, and
she had needed to force out notes she could usually hit without
trouble, her breath hadn't lasted as long, and even she could
hear a bit of a rasp in her voice toward the end that shouldn't
have been there.
In short, she was out of condition and out of practice, just
as in other things. If she wanted to get back into singing, it
was going to take a lot of work. She was ready for that, though;
she had come this far back, she could taste it again, and she was
not going to let go. There were other concerns, too... she would
need a new band, and she would have to convince the club owners
that she wouldn't bail on them again... but she could manage
that. She still had a little of the money left from the Knight
Sabers' last few operations; it would last her a while longer, so
she had time to put all of it together. Yes, she could do it,
she knew. It was just a matter of desire, and there was no
question of that anymore.
She felt Roy's presence standing over her before she saw
him, and she raised her head, trying to look less worn out than
she felt. His expression was somewhere between a scowl and a
bemused smirk... he still seemed to have not forgiven her for the
past, for which she could not really blame him, but by the same
token, she had helped him out a great deal, and she could see
that he appreciated it. Now, though, he seemed to have something
more to say. "What is it?" she asked.
The smirk took on a slightly more ironic twist. "The guys
and I were talking," he said. "You know... about you, and how
you're a singer looking for a band." He paused, clearly not
quite comfortable with what he was about to say. "We're a band
that may be looking for a singer. We're not too happy with
Hiroshi right now."
She nodded. She could see where this was going, but she
wasn't quite sure what to think of it. Better to let him say
what he had to say before answering.
He hesitated again. "They want me to offer you the job.
Me... I'm not so sure about it, honestly. You helped us out
tonight, but I haven't forgotten what happened two years ago, and
I'm not really sure I trust you... but it looks like I've been
outvoted. So... I guess it's yours if you want it."
She thought about that a few moments. There it was, set
out right there in front of her where she could take it... and
yet it didn't seem right. She didn't want to be somewhere where
she wasn't trusted, where she wasn't really wanted, even if it
was only by one. That was just asking for trouble, and she could
afford to wait a while a lot more easily than she could afford to
have more problems. "No..." she shook her head. "No, not like
that. Give the kid another chance. If he fucks up again, I'll
be around, and we'll talk."
She could see the change in his expression immediately...
surprise, then a flash of suspicion he quickly shook off, then a
bit of a smile. "You still surprise me, Priss," he said. "Just
when I think I know what you're gonna do, you go do something
else. But maybe that's not such a bad thing this time. Yeah,
I'll tell 'em that." He paused a moment. "I don't know what
they'll say... they may not want to give 'Roshi a second chance
to screw us over... but we'll see."
She nodded. "All right. Like I said, I'll be around. You
know I need a band, but I don't want to get it at someone else's
expense, y'know? I mean, I screwed up pretty bad myself. so I
can sympathize."
"Right," Roy answered with an ironic smirk. "Well, then,
Priss, I'll see you around. Talk to the manager about your share
of the pay; he'll take care of it. I have a feeling we'll talk
again soon, so until then..."
"See you around." He vanished almost as quickly as he had
appeared, leaving her alone again. She had that same feeling,
somehow... she would wait and see, though. If nothing else,
she'd have time to think about it, and so would they. Maybe Roy
would come around. If not, or if their regular singer cleaned
up his act, well... she could find something else. She would be
back, one way or another... and if people thought tonight had
been good... well, they had a lot left to see.
*****
Leon wandered over to the bar, his gaze drifting toward the
now-vacant stage. It had been quite a night, he thought, and in
the wake of its events his mind was a tangled mess of questions
and emotions. He was someone who usually prided himself on his
ability to see clearly through any situation, to pick through the
clouded emotions and get to the facts. His confidence in that
ability had never wavered... it was what had given him the
resolve to buck the system so many times, to chase down one of
his hunches, to take on GENOM even when he knew it could be
hazardous to do so. He could do those things because he knew he
was right.
When it came to Priss, though, that certainty and that
confidence seemed miles away. Just when he thought he understood
what she was feeling, what she was thinking, she would show him a
new wrinkle he hadn't expected. Like tonight... he had been
pushing her to get back on stage; he knew she wanted to, deep
inside... and he had been right about that... but there was
something else at work, too. He'd never seen her lay herself
bare like that in a concert... not even when she first started
had she been quite that open and transparent. That last song...
she'd been looking at him, and her eyes hadn't moved, except when
she closed them.
Even when she'd closed them, she was still looking at him.
He'd felt it, somewhere inside.
Not just looking at him, though. She was singing to him.
What did it mean? He shook his head. No, that was a stupid
question. The lyrics had made their meaning clear enough. Her
feelings were transparent, the emotion in her voice far too
tangible for him to have any doubt of it. What could he do with
that knowledge, though? He couldn't approach her directly with
it... he knew very well she'd deny it and brush him off... and he
might not get another chance. No... he had to be smarter about
it. Wait for her... Priss had never had any trouble speaking her
mind when she was ready to say something. She would say it in
time.
...but if she didn't? Why had she chosen that song, if she
didn't want him to know? He sighed. His instincts told him to
wait, and they had always served him well in the past... but this
was a very different game with very different stakes, and he
didn't want to be wrong.
He took a seat, leaning back against the bar and watching
the doors that led backstage. He would have expected her to be
out by now. Then again, for all he knew she had taken off
already, gone out the back door so she wouldn't have to deal with
the crowds... or with him. No... he was sure she hadn't. If
there was any one thing he *was* sure of with her, it was that
she was through running away. She would come out of those doors
eventually. He just had to wait.
*****
Priss smiled as she read the number on the check she had
been given for her performance. Now she understood why Roy had
been so adamant about getting her to sing for them... they'd were
being paid well for this gig, though from the size of the crowd,
it still probably wasn't enough. Still, this was good... she
could use the money.
Tucking it away, she stepped out the doors and back onto the
floor of the club. She had been backstage longer than she
thought... the crowd had thinned out a bit, though there were
still quite a few people around. A few people gathered around
her, telling her how glad they were she was back, and such... she
smiled. Usually she wouldn't want to be bothered right after a
show, but it felt good to hear the encouraging words. She
stopped a few minutes to speak with them, then turned toward the
bar.
That was when she saw Leon. He grinned at her as she
approached, the eyepatch giving his expression a seeming more
like a pirate than a police chief, and she had to shake her head
at that thought. "Great show," he congratulated her. "But then
I told you it would be, didn't I?"
She gave him a half-smile and nodded. "Yeah, Leon... you
were right as always," she answered in exaggerated sarcasm. For
some reason, though, she couldn't let it end on that, and added
a more sincere, "Thanks."
He shook his head. "Don't thank me. I'm just selfish and
I like your music. Couldn't pass up the opportunity." He tried
to sound convincing. He failed miserably, if only because the
perpetual confidence in his manner wasn't there. Leon was a bad
liar when you knew what to look for, she reflected.
<Then again, am I any better?> she asked herself. She had
always wondered why Leon was so stubborn about his pursuit of
her. Now, though... she understood. She hadn't been fooling him
by telling him she wanted him to go away. He knew better,
though whether it was just because she was unconvincing or
because he was so arrogant he just didn't believe her was open to
question. Now, though... he had to know. She'd made it
blatantly obvious tonight, just as he'd done when he gave her his
little lecture about taking care of herself.
So he knew. He knew... when she was only barely willing to
admit it to herself. He'd gotten in, gotten past her defenses
with that irrepressible charm of his. No... it wasn't that,
though that was part of it. It was what she'd seen beneath the
smile and the pick-up line. He really did care about her, and
he'd shown it enough times over the years. The charm, the
personality that both infuriated her and drew her in... that was
just his way of expressing it... and that was why he'd gotten to
her.
She'd sworn she'd never let anyone in again. Not after all
the people she'd lost. She wouldn't... couldn't let that happen
to her again. Leon, though... he kept coming. He wouldn't give
up. Damn his persistence. Damn her weakness. Now... how could
she admit something to him that she didn't want to accept
herself?
As she stood there silently, she could see his expression
change. He was waiting for her... waiting for her to say it.
Giving her the chance to back out if she wanted to... holding
back his own words when he clearly wanted to speak. The silence
was heavy in the air, thick and tangible. She was afraid. She
knew, now, what needed to be said. She knew she needed to say
it. Yet if she did... she was just opening herself up to be hurt
again... to once again lose someone she loved.
She could feel her shoulders slump forward as all the
confidence she'd built up during the concert seemed to drain away
from her. Dammit, she wanted to do this. She needed to do this.
It was time to quit running away from everything she thought
could hurt her, and face up to it head on. It was time to quit
running away from the things she wanted.
It was time to quit running from her past, and face her
future.
"Leon..." she said softly. "Tonight... the song..." her
voice trailed off, and she shook her head, unable to get the
words out. "I chose that song... because..."
He nodded very slightly, his expression softening with
relief. "I know, Priss." He did, too. She could tell that. It
made it easier, the shared knowledge... she didn't have to say it
right now if she didn't want to.
But she did want to. "Leon... in the past... every time I
let myself care about someone, they died. It's... hard for me
to admit it because of that. But I do care about you." She
didn't use the word. Still couldn't quite get it out. Maybe
with a little time. "...this is gonna take some time for me to
get used to."
He nodded and smiled, resting one hand on her shoulder. "I
understand, Priss. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere." He
paused a moment, then added, "I promise."
*****
Nene sighed as she unlocked the door to her apartment. It
was late... the trip home earlier in the day had cost her, as
she'd been late getting back and had gotten behind in her work.
Things had only gotten worse from there, and it had ended up
with her getting home almost three hours late. On top of that,
when she had called Linna to let her know she would be late,
something had seemed... wrong about Linna's voice. She sounded
worried about something... more than what was discussed this
afternoon. Well, she supposed she would find out, soon enough.
Opening the door, she pushed it open. Linna looked up from
the couch, where she had been sitting, looking first frightened
and then relieved. It was something Nene had become accustomed
to... she could scarcely imagine what it must be like to live
with the kind of paranoia Linna was dealing with... yet it seemed
perhaps a little worse today. Usually if she called on her way
home, Linna didn't react so abruptly. "Linna... is something
wrong?" she asked.
Linna shook her head. "I'm fine," she answered, her voice
seeming a bit weak. She wasn't 'fine' at all, Nene thought, and
immediately walked over to the couch next to her and put an arm
around her shoulders. After a moment, Linna looked over at her
and shook her head, sighing. "...I had a nightmare."
Nene hugged her. "A nightmare or the nightmare?" she asked
quietly. Linna had told her about the nightmare she'd been
having; just the thought of it was terrifying. She didn't want
to imagine what it would be like to experience it.
"...the nightmare," Linna answered, shivering. "...except I
wasn't asleep. At least, I don't think I was asleep. Maybe I
fell asleep a little while... but I didn't feel like I'd been
asleep after." She sighed, confused. "I don't know. The more I
talk about it, the more stupid it sounds... but I'm scared,
Nene. It... makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me,
if they did do something to me after all..."
Nene pulled Linna in close and hugged her tightly, not sure
what to say. "Linna... I'm not an expert, but after what you've
told me about, I don't think this... it doesn't necessarily mean
there's something wrong. Sylia's not a doctor... but the scans
she ran on you didn't show anything, either." She tried to find
something more reassuring to say, and just shook her head. "I
won't let anything happen to you," she said with sudden
vehemence.
Linna clung to Nene for support, trembling at the memories
provoked by the nightmare. "I... I know, Nene... but what if it
already *has*?"
Nene shook her head. "No, you can't think that way, Linna.
You're going to be fine. We're going to find out who did all
this to you, and we'll deal with them, and then you'll be able to
start over again, and everything will be okay."
Linna nodded, drawing a deep breath in an effort to regain
her composure. "...you're right," she said softly. "Yes. I
can't sit here and worry about this all the time... but it's so
hard not to, when I have all this time sitting stuck in the
apartment by myself."
Nene hugged her again tightly. "I'm working on that," she
said softly. "I'm going to talk to Sylia, and see if there's
something we can do about that. We're going to try to get you a
more normal life. For one thing, I want to be able to go out
with you, Linna-chan."
Linna nodded, managing a small smile at that. "I'd like
that," she said softly.
"Then think about what you want to do when we can... I'll
find us a way, ok? Let me worry about that part." With that,
she pulled back, brushing a loose strand of hair out of Linna's
eyes before looking into them deeply. "Remember, I love you. I
want you to be happy, and I'll do whatever I have to."
"...I know," Linna answered quietly, pulling Nene close to
her again. "You do so much for me already... I couldn't handle
this without you." She paused, then added, "I love you, too."
*****
Priss smiled a small smile as she closed the door of her
trailer behind her, hearing the sound of Leon's motorcycle fading
into the distance. He'd insisted on following her home... she
wasn't sure why; she hadn't had anything to drink... not when she
was out with a cop and was going to be driving home. Still, it had
been a fun ride. She was surprised that he still rode,
considering the injuries he'd sustained over the past two years,
but she supposed he had to hang on to his old self somehow. He'd
changed, she thought... almost as much as she had, and maybe even
more. He was calmer now... more patient... less stuck on himself
than he had once been. He was still Leon... still confident,
still persistent, still stubborn... for which, she could admit to
herself now, she was thankful.
She wondered what was going to happen, where things would go
between them. The first obstacle, and the biggest, was cleared,
and yet she knew this wasn't going to be easy. She'd seen too
much, been hurt too much, for anything to come to her easily now.
Still... it was time she did something for herself, wasn't it?
Time to take a chance on something she wanted. Linna's words
in the weight room had struck her more deeply than she had
probably realized.
Slumping into a chair, she came to a second realization.
She was exhausted. Since the concert, she'd been running on
adrenaline and nervous energy, and now that both were starting
to fade, she was ready to crash. Still, she didn't want to go
to bed just yet... too many things to think about. She sat down
on the edge of her bed, pulling the bottle off of the improvised
nightstand... and she stopped.
She'd gotten her chance tonight because someone else had
gotten himself drunk. Because someone didn't have the control to
stay away from the bottle long enough for one concert. She could
not help but wonder about that... about what had driven him to
it. People generally had a reason for getting plastered, doubly
so when they had other things they were supposed to be doing. It
was a way to hide... to escape from their problems.
She knew all this very well. It was how she had lived for
the last two years.
She set the bottle back on the table, as more of Linna's
words came back to her... these from further back, a night she
remembered hazily as best. There were a few moments of clarity,
though... most of them centered around a sharp pain in her jaw
that had shaken her from her mental fog. Linna had been right
that evening, too... she *had* been trying to drink herself to
death. After Linna had died, she hadn't wanted to live anymore.
Now, though... now she had something worth living for. No,
she had a lot of things worth living for... and she wouldn't get
them by hiding inside a bottle.
Sylia, too, had been right. And Leon. She could admit that
now. She was out of shape, and it wasn't just lack of practice.
She was not the most educated person on the planet, but she knew
enough to know that drinking all night and waking up with a
pounding headache the next day wasn't a good way to treat her
body. She'd been working on getting herself back into condition,
but the drinking was holding her back.
The message was clear... clear in the way that a riddle is
obvious after you hear the answer, and leaves one wondering why
one did not figure it out. She had seen the answer... it was
time to act on it.
It was time to stop drinking.
She sighed. If there was one thing she was certain of, it
was that this would be much more easily said than done. It would
take every ounce of willpower she had... and some she didn't. It
was too easy to rationalize a drink here or there... she'd seen
other people go through it, and she'd only seen a couple succeed.
Most of them lasted only a week or two. She had to make it
stick.
She glanced at the bottle on the table, then shook her head.
It was already tempting her... telling her she would never get to
sleep without it. That wasn't true... at least, not tonight. It
was a struggle to stay awake already. Still... she wanted it,
and if it was there, she knew she wouldn't be able to refuse it long.
Picking it up, she stood and walked over to the sink,
pouring it out and watching it drain away. There. It could
scream at her all it wanted now... it was out of reach.
Until tomorrow, when she could just as easily buy more. She
sighed... she was going to need help with this, she knew. Linna
would help, but she wasn't around that often, either. Nene she
didn't even want to think about sharing something like this with.
Sylia... yeah, Sylia would probably listen, but did she *really*
want to discuss this with her? Yeah, right.
Leon.
Dammit, she was going to have to get his help. He was the
only person who would be around her when she was out in the clubs
and such... at least, the only one she could trust to help her,
not encourage her back into her old ways. She didn't like it;
turning to him for help... it stung her pride a bit, even after
tonight... but she needed to. And he *would* help her, she was
certain of that.
It was a test in its own right... a test of how much she
trusted him. Oddly enough, though, trust wasn't the problem.
She knew she could trust him... it was her pride that was in the
way. She sighed. She could swallow her pride. She had to.
There were too many more important things on the line.
She would do this. She had to do it. For Linna. For the
Knight Sabers. Even for Leon.
Mostly, though, she would do it for herself.
*****
End Chapter Six
------------------------------
Authors' notes:
The tale grows in the telling.
When I first planned out Phoenix, I didn't anticipate it getting
as long as it has already... and I'm maybe halfway through it.
That said, I'm very happy with how the work is developing so far,
it's just... MORE than I planned on it being, which is part of
why it's taking so long.
Much credit to my prereaders as always for helping me with this.
Special thanks to Amanda Stair for her translation of the lyrics
to "Itoshiki Rival", which was valuable beyond description in
the writing of the concert scene.
I hope you've all enjoyed reading this story so far as much as
I've enjoyed writing it... there's a lot yet to come. Comments
are, as always, appreciated.
Thanks,
Douglas A. "stormwalker" Reeves
2/15/02
*****************************************************************
Douglas A. "Stormwalker" Reeves <stormwalker@airmail.net>
Computer tech, anime fan, hopeless romantic, and sometime writer
Fanfiction Archive - http://web2.airmail.net/a0011387/fanfic/
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Why did you challenge us to this fight? I'm not really
sure why. But I know that you made two mistakes. One was
hurting a lot of people to achieve your goal. And the other...
was picking a fight with me!"
--Lina Inverse, "Slayers" ep. 26
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