On Thu, Feb 14, 2002 at 07:22:32AM -0600, Werness, Charles wrote:
Bah. Humbug, even.
No, I'm not any closer on the next chapter of To Know Pain; sorry, but after
it got erased last time, I kind of lost my drive for it. I'm still working
on it, and I'll try to get it out as soon as I can, but I don't know how
soon 'soon' will be. Sorry.
As usual, C&C is pretty much begged for (I HATE ending sentences with
prepositions, but that's a colloquialism, and I really can't figger a way
around it). That's just the way things go with me.
The problem is that you're using passive voice. How about this:
As usual, I'm pretty much begging for C&C.
So I don't own any of these characters. Interesting, huh? I think so.
Is this state expected to change?
+++++
Cowardice: an Autobiography
by Genma Saotome
I've run from everything in my life. Hell, I've even been taught to
run! The 'Saotome Secret Technique' is just running away.
So he taught himself the Secret Technique, did he? If it weren't for
your ramblings at the end, I'd think nothing of that...
So that's that. I'm a coward.
No. He's just an expert at proceeding forward in a retrograde direction.
When I was younger, I ran away from Nodoka Saotome, the woman I
love. I've been running from her ever since. Oh, I don't want to run from
her; quite the contrary. I want to run to her and tell her how much I've
missed her. But I can't. My nature is to run; my nature is cowardly.
I've been running away from Happosai for a while, now, and I'm
pretty sure I always will.
I'm worthless. I've taught my son to run away, too. He avoids
choosing a fianc?e because of my influence. I...I am no good at all.
I'm going to run away again, soon. I'm going to leave, so maybe my
son will learn how to be something besides a coward. Maybe, without me
here, he'll be able to ignore my influence and better himself.
I'll finish this later. Kasumi has dinner ready.
Ooh, that last sentence completes this on so many levels.
I never thought I'd see the day that you wrote something like this,
Mr. Saotome. But I'm glad you wrote this, and I'm doubly glad that I read
it.
Upon reading your words, I realized that I, too, am a coward. Kind
of a strange way to find out, reading someone else's "autobiography," but
that's the way life goes, right?
So I've been running away all my life, as well. After my mother
died, I ran from reality; I retreated into myself. I became "Nabiki the Ice
Queen," as I've taken to calling myself.
All I was doing was running. I was running from the pain of loss; I
was running from reality. I was hiding my emotions away because I was
afraid that they'd get hurt again. I was being a coward.
We're all cowards, Mr. Saotome. Every one of us. You don't have to
be ashamed of that fact. You can change. I'm going to change, now that I
realize what I am, and so can you.
I'll prove it to you. Read on.
Wow. Heavy stuff.
If Mr. Saotome and Nabiki can do it, so can I.
I'm a coward.
Funny. That actually felt kind of good.
I've been running away from everything all my life. When Mother
died, I retreated into my martial arts. I shut myself off from boys,
partially because of Kuno, but mostly because I didn't want to get hurt
again. Even now, I still run away from attachment and commitment.
I...don't you DARE blow this out of proportion, or I'll make you
regret it, so help me God...but I...like Ranma. I do. That's why I get so
angry when he insults me. My feelings are hurt, but I don't want to feel
that hurt, so I run and hide behind anger.
So I'm a coward, too.
Nabiki is right, you know. Everyone is a coward to some degree.
It's nothing to beat yourself up over, but you should probably try to change
it. I'm going to.
I WILL HURT YOU IF YOU TAKE THIS NEXT PART OUT OF PROPORTION!
I'm gonna tell Ranma I like him. Because I do. I have to stop
running sometime - it might as well be now.
One last thing: I'm NOT marrying ANYONE until I'm good and ready!
"Fear"
by Kasumi Tendo
One day a king his castle left
To fight, for might and pow'r, a war.
His son and wife were left bereft
Of father, husband, king and more.
The son ascended to the throne.
The wife, her livelihood deceased,
She wept and mourned. Her son alone
Bore tension, pressure much increased.
His father's quest for might and land
The boy was forc'd to undertake.
With tear-streak'd face and bloody hands,
A mighty kingdom did he make.
Afraid of failure, he would lie
Awake at night, and he would cry.
Well, I've never been very good at poetry, anyway, especially
sonnets. Iambic tetrameter is hard enough; I can't imagine writing in
iambic pentameter, like Shakespeare!
But that's a topic for another time.
Kasumi: Right now I want to talk about Kuno.
What I wanted to do with that sonnet was to convey the feelings of a
boy forced into maturity after his father dies. I didn't do too well, but
that's why I'm explaining it now. Anyway, the boy's father dies, and
instead of being able to mourn, he is forced to take the crown. With the
crown comes responsibility, which effectively ends the boy's childhood. He
is forced to be responsible for an entire nation at a time in his life where
all he wants is to figure out just who he is.
If you're wondering what this has to do with fear - the topic of
discussion in this 'book' - I'll tell you.
The boy doesn't HAVE to be king. He could theoretically abdicate
the throne. However, he does not want to do that. He is afraid of the
consequences. He's afraid of shaming his father's memory, letting down his
mother and everyone else in the kingdom. This fear drives him to continue
on in a life that is not his; it forces him to live a lie.
Kasumi: And if you don't take the hint, I'm going to become a chainsaw
murderer.
Many people do things out of fear, Mr. Saotome. Don't worry about
it. After reading this, I've decided to stop living in fear, myself; you
can do it, too. I'll prove it to you by starting now.
I love Ranma.
There. I said it. I, Kasumi Tendo, am in love with Ranma. I'm
tired of being afraid of Akane's reaction to that fact, or of you and daddy
forcing us to get married. I'm done with it. I'm not going to be afraid
any more. I'm not going to hide my feelings, and I'm not going to live a
lie.
You can do it, Mr. Saotome. If I can, then so can you.
Genma, old friend, your words have touched me. Having seen into
your heart, known your feelings, I realize I have been hiding from the
world.
I am going to stop retreating behind my emotions, Saotome. I'm
going to stop lying around, too afraid to take any risks, and am going to
start living again.
Genma, stop running. Just stop. I have. I know you can do it.
Thank you.
You see, Mr. Saotome? Everyone else echoes your feelings.
Anyway, I figured that you wouldn't want Ranma reading this, so I
didn't show it to him; I only showed it to the people I could truly trust -
my family.
So there you have it, Mr. Saotome. You're not alone. You've helped
us, so let us help you. Just come and talk to one of us if you want; we're
all much more than willing to help.
Good luck.
Wow. Just...wow.
I know I wasn't supposed ta read this. Sorry. But I found it just
lying around, and I was curious, and...yeah.
Well...wow! This is kinda messed up!
I guess I can see what you mean. All of you, I mean. I hate ta
admit it, but I've been a coward, too.
Ranma Saotome has been a coward.
Ranma: Well, y'know, it's easy to explain. You guys were all such
cowards, and since Ranma Saotome never loses, I had to be a coward
too. It's so hard trying not to take everything as a competition,
isn't it?
Earth shattering, huh? The macho, arrogant jerk admitting he's been
a coward. Well, it's true, so believe it.
So anyway...sorry, but WOW! This is really messed up!
Okay. I've never been really good at this type 'a stuff, but...I
guess I'll...stop. You know, choose. But not right away! Lord, not right
away! An' I'm not getting' married yet, either! I'm just makin' a choice
because I don't wanna be a coward no more!
Um...yeah. Uh...I'll be goin' away for a while, ta think.
So...umm...just wait. I'll be back within a week or two. With my decision.
------------
Genma Saotome closed the notebook with a smile. "Imagine all of
this coming out of my feeling sorry for myself," mused the man with a
chuckle.
Genma: Why, think of all the times this technique would have benefited
us on the training trip!
"Pop?" came a voice, cutting through the still, early morning air.
Genma slowly stood and tucked the notebook into his pack before
turning to the source of the voice. "Hello, Ranma."
Ranma, a confused look on his face, walked up to his father.
"What's up? How'd ya know I'd be here? And how'd ya know I'd be comin'
back today?"
The man clad in a white gi shrugged and smiled. "You're my son.
What kind of father would I be if I didn't know you inside and out?"
That stumped Ranma. "Um...a bad one?"
Genma again chuckled. "Rhetorical question, Ranma." His face
suddenly serious, he asked, "So you've made your choice?"
The boy shuffled his feet nervously and looked to the ground.
"...Yeah," he replied after a short pause. "It's-"
"I'm glad."
Ranma looked up into his father's face. "Don't you care who it is?"
Genma laughed heartily. When he had calmed down a bit, he clasped
his hands on his son's shoulders and smiled. "Of course I do, Ranma; but
right now, I'm just glad you've made your choice. Besides, whoever you did
end up choosing, I'm sure you love her, and that's all that matters."
Ranma blushed and looked down. "Um...okay...well..."
Genma turned and hefted his pack onto his shoulder. "C'mon," he
called over his shoulder as he started towards Nerima. "I'll treat you to
breakfast, and you can tell me there."
Ranma stared confusedly after his father, wondering what had
happened to his pop. He hadn't acted like that ever, as far as Ranma could
remember.
"C'mon, boy!" came Genma's shout. "Time's a wastin'!"
Slowly, Ranma began to smile. He didn't care why Pop was acting
weird - he liked it. "Wait up, old man!" he called, jogging towards his
father with a smile on his face.
+++++
So that's that. Just another random idea slapping the sides of my skull
repeatedly. I had to get it out of my head and onto paper
(or...internet...electrical coding...ow...brain hurt...) or bad things would
have happened. Probably, like, something akin to what would happen
if...that guy...stopped...blinking...Ju-Ju Bees? Yeah.
I find that if I catch the Muse responsible, charbroil him, and serve
him to the Reaver plushies in #void, the rest of the Muses are quite
cooperative. At least for the next few hours or so.
So C&C if you'd like; even flames are appreciated, though I'll probably take
a bit of offense to them. I can't promise that you won't get a scathing
remark back, but it's all criticism, and if I can't take all kinds of
criticism, my writing's never going to improve. In summation: keep those
flames coming!
This is the part where I ramble on about meaningless things that no one
really cares about. Brace yourselves.
<Area 51 stuff snipped>
Naw, my theory is that Jell-O is an attempt to develop an artificial
substitute for LCL. Cause, y'know, they're running out of Angels.
Hal Jenkins was a plumber from Juneau, Alaska. He wasn't a very happy man;
being a plumber in one of the coldest places in the United States - where
the freezing of pipes is expected even on the HOTTEST DAYS OF THE YEAR - can
suck the life out of you. Hal had a couple of friends, his "Droogs," and
they were actually pretty nice people, if you didn't mind the whole
ultra-violent, sexually deviant, drug-induced romps he and his Droogs (Dim,
Peter, and Alberto Hernando) would enjoy from time to time. Side note:
Hal's life was actually studied by another time-travelling person, this one
an author. He took Hal's life and wrote a book about it, changing some of
the names around and messing with the setting a bit so that he couldn't get
time-sued. Hal was mighty peeved, so he hopped into his '99 Ford Escort (a
Hal's wife was named Weena?
bribe from the author) and proceeded to putter his way down to the bowling
alley. When he arrived, he payed for three games, a pair of shoes, and a
rental ball. The alley didn't have any shoes his size, though, so he had to
settle for a pair of size 3 1/2 shoes that cut off his circulation and
caused him to die a quite painful death not twenty minutes later. But
that's a story for another time. So, before his untimely and rather
greusome death, Hal bowled two and one half of his three games, scoring a
perfect three hundred on the first two games and an amazing four hundred on
the first three frames of the last. How he managed this was never
discovered, as he suffered a mightily painful and ugly death before being
able to bowl the next frame. Just goes to show you: you should never let
That's what you get for misusing your time powers. Oh, wait, nevermind.
time-travelling plagarist authors give you a futuristic automobile from the
future, and then take said automobile down to the local bowling alley,
As opposed to a futuristing automobile from the deep past?
purchase three games of bowling, find out that the alley doesn't have shoes
in your size, settle for size three and one halfs, and proceed to bowl
anyway. And if your name is Hal Jenkins, and you live in Juneau, Alaska,
WELL! You can just forget that, mister!
Speaking of bowling, let me tell you a bit about my friend Chet. He's a
proffessional bowler, but he gave it up a while ago to bowl proffessionally.
I and the rest of Chet's friends urged him to reconsider this potentially
dangerous switch of careers, but he did it anyway, and now he's in jail on
three counts of being far too white to listen to rap.
Seeing as rap is really a memetic virus designed to convince us to
sell our souls to the corporations of America, Chet got off lucky.
Should've listened to us, Chet, old buddy.
So that's that. The moral of the story is: never eat Jell-O. It's actually
an alien intelligence waiting for you to ingest it. When you do, it'll
systematically destroy itself in your stomach, using your stomach acids, and
will then launch a sinister and downright rude plot to flow through your
body, providing scant nutrients and taking up an amazingly large amount of
toilet paper, leaving you with none when you really need it. It will then
proceed to teleport out of your body, back to the Jell-O collective
consciousness just outside of our solar system, and wait for its order to be
reborn and to claim another unsuspecting victim. Bwa ha ha. No, really.
That's what their plans say. "...victim. Bwa ha ha." I'm reading it right
off the page. What, you don't believe me? Look! No, seriously! Look!
See? Yeah, that's what I thought! Doubting Thomas! Fooey on youey!
Attempting to breath the Jell-O is another matter entirely, though.
I warned you. If you actually read all of that, I'm sorry; but I did warn
you. You can't say I didn't try.
No, you just didn't try HARD ENOUGH.
A Depraved Sociopath with Psychotic Tendencies
Humanity: A Haiku
Tiny floating leaf
Calmly floating on water
Under mushroom clouds
The Bomb isn't big enough. Not when small girls can destroy
planets. Now, if you had a device which could change the sun into the
right type to go supernova and induce it to go supernova, all while
maintaining the Earth at a proper distance, I'd be interested.
"Never apologize for what you are"
-DJ Croft, from "Neon Exodus Evangelion" by Benjamin D. Hutchins
and Larry Mann
A crossover freak who, by all rights, should die worrying over whether
it's the aliens or the ancient haunted scuptures who are out to get
him? I'd apologize for that...
Very, very nice. And, of course, you aren't going to continue it. Damn
you.