DB Sommer wrote:
And getting back into the C+C swing of things:
Woohoo! I love getting C&C!
"That was also the beginning of one of the bigger mistakes any of us
had ever made. Ultimately, it had to be done for the greater good,
but don't think for a minute that we enjoyed doing what had to be
done to save innocent people. Some make out that we're still
villains,
Pluto: But losers often do that.
Implied, not stated. You're good at catching those.
Ayeka and Ryouko had gamely stayed at his side nearly the entire
time, and while Ryouko merely looked worn out, Ayeka's flagging
strength left her nearly nodding in
nodding off (I think)
Will revise.
Tenchi nodded, sighing, and resting his elbows on the desk. A moment
later, he sunk his head to his hands, groaning. "I can't give up,"
he protested weakly. "There's so much work to be done."
Feels like me and C+C. :)
At least I finally finished watching Nadia today.
Nadia? Worthwhile. Now what about Giant Robo? :)
would give her when she forced Tenchi's hand. When Tenchi was pulled
away from his desk, she grinned, commenting, "Even your sword agrees
with me,
Sword: No. I want to kill something. He's just too much of a weenie to go
around lopping the heads off his enemies like I want him to.
Heh. I guess, then, that you think we have a shortage of
Tenchi-the-axe-murderer fics?
and led her to Hotaru. Clothing disheveled, still soaked with sweat,
she stumbled into the room, nearly ready to collapse. The hangar was
deserted, excepting Washuu and Ami, Hotaru and Nuku sitting nearby.
Awkward as hell. I'd rephrase it in some way.
Hell ain't nearly as awkward as that. Er -- or so I'm told.
"Do you want me to get Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama?" Hotaru asked.
Why? Are they good at lighting fires? :)
Heh.
"Or as many people dying in general," Rei grumbled. "No one should
have to die."
But if we lived forever, things would get boring pretty fast. :P
True enough.
Setsuna gave Washuu an appraising look. "Perhaps," she returned
coolly. "But I can keep my own council. And so should you." With
that the woman marched from the hangar, oblivious to Washuu pulling
her eyelid down and sticking her tongue out at her.
Heh. Nice touch.
War changes people, but they're still who they are, at heart. At
least, they SHOULD be.
Groaning, Tenchi mumbled, "Ayeka's going to kill us.
A tall man in a dark robe appeared out of nowhere and said, "GOING IMPLIES
SOMETHING THAT HAS NOT YET OCCURRED. SUFFICE TO SAY THAT WAS NOT THE TENSE
YOU SHOULD HAVE USED THERE."
Hmm.... Red Dwarf?
And as she touched the dreams of one who was closer to her heart than
most others, she masked his presence from one who would have touched
his dreams in a much more forceful manner, without even knowing that
she had masked him so.
Smooth on Tsunami's part.
Would be if it were intentional.
Three days at sea passed with an almost eerie calm.
Yeah. Usually it takes 6 chapters for a day to pass. :)
Honestly, that right there is what I find one of the most
fascinating aspect of written fiction anywhere. Depending on how you
write it, you can make days pass in words, or seconds crawl by in
chapters. You can do it in TV, just not nearly as well (look at DBZ).
Not, of course, that all of Process of Elimination is an excuse on my
part to see if I can actually stretch time out that much and keep it
interesting. ;)
"I will not fault you if you choose to leave. I will not think any
less of you -- Australia is going to need more of you to police all
the people we've already got, many of them only moments away from
panic and riot. But any of you who choose to fight with me, to risk
your life -- _not_ for your country, gentlemen, but for your whole
_world_ -- I welcome you as men I would be proud to have stand at my
side.
Suddenly, Norris realized he was talking to thin air. "Bunch of cowards," he
mumbled petuantly.
Hah!
"Those of you who have chosen to follow me, congratulations. You are
no longer Marines
Something just occurred to me. Why are they marines instead of navy? Most of
the personnel would be navel, I would think,
Naval. As it was told to me (I might have been misinformed) the
Marines are basically the ground-forces of the Navy, and most Navy
personel are actually just operators of the various craft that they
maintain, with the exception of the S.E.A.L.S.
"Um... You tell him, Ryouga," Ranma said, shaking his head.
Ryouga: He said something about burying his green pencil.
Ranma: If you don't understand English either, just admit it!
Heh!
sleep restless, and leaving her to lie awake hours and hours
I'd just say 'hours' or 'many hours'
before
the dawn.
think you can drop 'the' as well.
Hm. Will revise.
When she sat up Mamoru remained asleep. She'd let him rest, she
decided. He'd been remarkably unwell due to the resonance between
himself and the wounded Earth, but something... something about
seeing Makoto... Something had happened then, and left him in much
better condition afterwards.
Obviously Mamoru is interested in Ryu as well.
O_o?
She dismissed that, after a moment. All of the other girls were
asleep... except for Setsuna, who had a habit of wandering off, and
Haruka and Michiru, who did not.
Sleep or wander off?
Whoops. Will clarify.
Calming herself with visible effort, the woman introduced herself,
saying, "My name is Meiou Setsuna. I'm looking for someone who's
supposed to be able to help us fight the reavers." She produced the
scroll from her pocket and handed it to Ranma expectantly. "Do you
know where this line would lead us?"
She did it wrong. If he was a liar, like since she thinks he's
untrustworthy, he could just say yes and she wouldn't know if it was the
truth or not.
She doesn't really expect him to answer. She's mostly just humoring
Usagi.
Shrugging, he teleported the pair of them there, setting down the
woman as she reeled from the dizziness Ranma had learned that it
caused in others. As it had for him, initially. Nuku seemed immune
to it, for some reason he couldn't fathom, and Washuu declined to
state how it affected her. "Okay," he said, shifting his thoughts to
the people about him. "What do you want with me? There's a reaver
around here, somewhere. I can sense it. Ran-oh-ki tells me they're
hiding beneath the sea floor. Probably waiting to attack us the
moment we land."
They know where the ship is going? How?
How did they know that Nuku-Nuku was controlling the lasers from the
tower in Tokyo harbour?
"Wait, wait... wait..." Ranma shook his head. "Ten'oh, have you ever
heard of a place called Jusenkyou?"
"No..." the man said slowly. "I've heard of it from Hibiki-san, but
I've never been there, Ranma-san."
Why would he think she knows anything about it?
Ranma is percieving some gender confusion, and following up (porrly)
on a hunch.
"Of course you don't remember," Ranma said offhandedly. "I tricked
you.
I don't think ol' Pluto is going to fall for that one.
She didn't, per se. The rules are such that if he managed to get
past her, then it's a required event. She can't stop it if it happened,
so she's basically allowing him to think he's fooling her because it
serves a largely mutual interest.
Ranma glanced around after emerging from the Time Gate. "Huh," he said.
The area was faintly foggy,
Don't like the double 'f's there. Might want to change 'faintly' to lightly
or something.
'shrouded in a thin veil of fog'?
"Well," Ranma muttered. "That went well." He raised his hand to knock
again, when the door slammed open again, and a man with an unruly
mane of white hair literally flew out of the doorway, crashing into
him and bearing him to the earth.
Ouch
Ah, it's all in good fun.
The man stared at him, blinking, and allowed his hands to drop to his
sides. "And we're famous then?" the man asked, obviously confused.
Ranma: More like dead, actually.
Inu-Yasha: Oh, joy.
Teleporting to Setsuna's side, Ranma immediately raised his hands to
illustrate his unarmed status. Kagome, not quite trusting, still
held a drawn bow on Setsuna, her gaze and aim only shifting to Ranma
for a second, before going back to Setsuna. "What are you doing
here?" she demanded.
Ranma: Being held up at arrow point.
Heh!
Once inside, with the bow set carefully on its rack on the wall, the
woman was surprisingly polite, though obviously still wary. "Now,"
she said, after both Ranma and Setsuna were seated, each holding a
cup of tea. He had a vague suspicion that they were given tea
because it would preclude the use of other weapons,
Obviously she had never seen Martial Arts Tea Ceremony in action
Heh, again!
The woman frowned. "Large, wicked creature, with eight claws, and
acidic blood?"
Ah ha. So she is the time traveller, all right.
Yep!
"I... see," Kagome said slowly. "Inu-Yasha, I very much want to
believe this young man. Can you please fetch me the Shikon jewel?"
Inu-Yasha: What do I look like, a retriever.
Kagome: Sit! (Inu-Yasha crashes violently on the ground) Looks to me like
you are.
Hehe....
Inu-Yasha's steps were solid,
solid?
Will reword.
the Shikon jewel to turn himself human -- he had no desire to
outlive Kagome.
Well, unless they die in some horrible accident, one will outlive the other.
He meant by a factor of hundreds of years.
Outlasting another love, as bitter as it had turned, had taught him
that much.
Shoot. Haven't seen past epsiode 8 so I have no idea of what he's talking
about.
Oh, you've probably seen more of it than I have. I read the first
few volumes of the manga, but what's going on in this story is pretty
much guesswork, on my part. I might have managed to get a few right, though.
"My old robes. Made from fire-rat hides," Inu-Yasha assured him.
"They're pretty decent armor. Probably better than you'd expect.
They also mend really well when they get torn."
I'd say they won't make that much of a difference when compared to his own
hard skin.
Sentimental value.
will be a safe-deposit box awaiting you in Shanghai -- I'll see to
it that my descendants know to pass it on for you,
Heh. Nice touch.
:p
Inu-Yasha grinned like a madman,
since he was insane
Most fathers are. They have to be, to put up with their sons. ;)
Mousse grimaced, knowing that despite his potentially better agility,
he could never hope to even match
I'd drop the 'even'
Done.
Ryu's feet were set, and he grit his teeth, arms both outstretched
and trembling. Not wasting any more time, Ryouga bellowed a fierce
battle cry, and swung down on one of the crushing limbs full-force.
The belt cut rudely through the armored and protrusion covered
surface, spraying a sharp fountain of deadly ichor upwards and out
towards the boys.
Only to be intercepted in part 2, I'd wager.
Too early to start killing people off. ;)
Nice work. Will try to get to the next part soon.
Thanks! And thanks again for taking the time to C&C for me, as
always. :p
D.B. Sommer