DB Sommer wrote:
Yes, I'm at it again. :)
Well, that tells me it's time to make some heavy investments in
shotgun shells and canned foods.
Let the Music Play
An Ah! My Goddess spamfic
Hm. This could be bad.
As always, feel free to ignore any commentary that doesn't help ya,
most of my opinons are apparently in need of being corrected. ;)
Keiichi stopped thumbing the pages of the automobile magazine he was staring
at and turned his gaze to the other two occupants currently in the living
room. Skuld was sitting in the middle of the floor, tinkering with some
mechanical palm-sized object. Urd floated on the air, watching some
television program. It was all very boring. He knew he should have gone
shopping for groceries with Belldandy, but he was a bit tired and didn't
feel up to going outside on such a dreary day. Now he was paying for his
laziness with boredom.
This introductory paragraph is really bland. I assume that's
intentional, to capture the 'boring' tone?
"Sorry I took so long." Belldandy said, holding up the small case. "I came
across Tamiya on my way back from shopping. He said he needed some money
fast and offered to sell me some of his CDs he doesn't listen to anymore. I
didn't have the heart to say no to him, so I bought several."
long." Belldandy -- long," Belldandy
That made Keiichi smile. Typical Belldandy. Always willing to help someone
in need. Keiichi offered to help her put the food away, but the goddess
insisted she could do it herself and told him to just relax. He did so, idly
thumbing through the magazine again. One of the articles caught his eye, and
he began reading it in detail.
Ouch! Papercuts on the eye -- unpleasant.
He was so enthralled that he barely heard Belldandy say, "I'm going to my
room to listen to some of my new music while the roast cooks."
"I'll be there in a minute," Keiichi said distractedly as he continued
reading. He was almost to the end of the article.
Oooh! Inviting himself into her room. Smooth, Keiichi.
By the time he was finished, Belldandy had already left. He was about to
rise to his feet when an errant thought suddenly struck him. He turned to
Urd and said, "I just thought of something."
Urd: You're a college student, and this is the first time you've
ever thought of something?
"And you fall asleep when you hear Austrian Polkas."
"Doesn't everyone?"
Actually, they produce a tone that generally causes me to suffer
seizures. I guess passing out could loosely qualify as falling asleep....
Skuld didn't bother to look up from the device she was working on as she
said, "It was three years ago while I was in the middle of 'Think of Me,'
>from Phantom of the Opera that I created a miniature radio that would play
Broadway hits twenty-four hours a day and implanted it in my skull."
Heh.
Keiichi suddenly became deeply disturbed as Urd gained a serious expression.
"Pray to Father that you never find out."
'gained a serious expression' sounds a little stilted. Just my
opinion, but since this seems to be an important point on this short,
you might want to consider revising that.
Keiichi said, "Urd, what does listening to eighties hard rock make Belldandy
do? Refuse to cook for others?"
"Worse."
Oooh, this should be good.
"She performs a striptease?"
"You wish."
Keiichi: Dang.
The sound of a motor suddenly flared to life.
The sound of a motor... what? They make one sound when you start
them, and an entirely different sound when you drop them. :p
The door to the living room burst open. The figure that entered wore a white
hockey mask and wielded a running chainsaw as though it had all the weight
of a ball of yarn.
Eh?
"It turns her into a homicidal maniac," Urd stated with a tired sigh.
Considering how worried she was a moment ago, the tired sigh seems a
little bit odd.
>From behind the mask, Belldandy wailed, "I'm sorry, Keiichi! I thought
'Welcome to the Jungle' was a song about saving the environment! I didn't
know it was one of those long hair band songs! I can't stop myself! Run away
while you can!"
'long hair band' songs? Hey, Zanfere(sp?) has long hair, too. ;)
Skuld bawled, "Wahhhh, big sister's turned into a psychotic killer again."
She continued crying as dove into the nearest cup of water and disappeared.
Should Skuld's bawling be an exclamation?
as dove -- as she dove
person I have ever met, both on Heaven and Earth. You can fight this and
overcome it, and I'll help you by standing at your side no matter whAHH!
whAAH --> wh-- AAH! (?)
Keiichi ducked, narrowly avoiding the chainsaw that had been aimed at his
neck. He backed away, tripping over a rug and falling to the floor. He saw
Belldandy approach menacingly. "Bell, come on! You can fight thAH!"
'he saw' is a somewhat weak descriptor.
He barely rolled out of the way as the chainsaw struck the wooden floor in
the exact place where his crotch had been a moment before. The blow turned a
section of the floor into sawdust.
"Are you even trying?!" Keiichi shouted.
If someone tried to hit me there with a chainsaw, that's NOT what I
would say!
"It's not my fault! My body's moving on automatic! Run for it!" Belldandy
shouted as she swung the chainsaw around again, this time slicing through
the bottom of Keiichi's shirt and coming with a hairsbreadth of striking
skin.
Eeep!
Urd popped her head into the room. Spotting Keiichi, she waved an empty CD
case in hand and shouted to him, "Don't worry! There's only eleven more
songs to go! Once they're finished, she'll go back to normal! You just keep
her occupied for another forty-five minutes or until she runs out of gas!"
Or she could, you know, turn the stero off. (Methinks that
Belldandy's either not very dangerous and Urd just likes watching
Keiichi run.)
"I hate my life!" Keiichi shouted as he continued running for his life, a
chainsaw wielding goddess in hot pursuit.
Heh!
There now, that wasn't so good, was it? Again I'm sure someone's probably
played with the idea of Skuld and Belldandy being affected my music the way
Urd and Mara are, but I never saw them. And the idea seemed to amusing an
idea to pass up. Hope you enjoyed.
Kind of plays in with what I've been told of In Nomine, actually.
Well, it's not as good as most of your humor fics, but it's not awful,
either. The idea of a chainsaw wielding Belldandy is an odd one,
thoughI'll grant you that.