And moving on to something with an interesting title:

"Kasumi, you're embarrassing me!" Miko groaned, "do you have any idea how
hard it was to get tickets for this event? I'm not going to let you get

away

with standing in the corner sipping Perrier!

"But it's got all the kick I can handle," Kasumi protested.

her last masonry project and made a note to order more. But all these
concerns were secondary. What really worried her was the fact Miko was a
chronic matchmaker who had been trying to set her up since high school.

She

wouldn't have gone to such great pains to get Kasumi out of the Dojo if

she

didn't have someone for her to meet.

Heh. Yeah. Probably.

"If you say so, Kasumi," Miko smiled rolling her eyes, "but that doesn't
mean you have to live your life alone taking care of your family. I mean,
it's not as if your father is an invalid or anything. Do you really think
the whole dojo is going to crumble to nothing without you?"

Back at the home, Ranma looked at the ashes that were all that remained of
the house. "I knew we shouldn't have let Saffron have that drink. One belch
and cinders are all we have left."

"It will certainly not crumble," Kasumi looked at Miko temporarily amazed.
It took her a moment to realize that someone living outside of the martial
arts community could really be that innocent.

""See now,

extra quote mark.

 come with me. I'm not going to let you blend into the scenery

this time!  Let's start with getting you something stronger then

than (I think)

that

water!" Miko grabbed Kasumi by the arm dragging

arm, dragging (I think again)

 her towards the bar.

The next hour went much better. Kasumi managed to mingle with Miko's
constant prodding and even talked with several attractive men.

They were gay, but attractive.

She finally got a good look at the man. He was ruggedly handsome, fitting
his suit perfectly. He was older than her, twenty-one at least.

Alas. Age difference. It will never work. :)

 The first

thought that came to Kasumi's mind was an adult Ranma except his gaze was
far more intense and his hair was shorter.

And his eyes were more narrow. And his nose was longer. And his ears had
lobes that were attached while Ranma's dangled. And...

Actually I'd work on his appearance a little. It's too dry as is. Just
comparing him to Ranma isn't enough.


 The only flaw she could see was a

small and very old scar on his chin. "Taka," he chuckled, Taka . . . . . .

.

. . .. Suzuki."

"Kasumi Tendo, I'm so sorry, Mr. Suzuki, If I was only more careful. I'm

not

usually this clumsy if there

should be a break there between clumsy and if, unless you want her to sound
like she's rambling, in which case it works.

"Taka, please, and I'm so glad you're enjoying yourself Kasumi, I haven't
had this much fun in years." Taka smiled.

"Can I see you again?" she asked looking hopeful.

Taka looked down into Kasumi's and smiled. "I'm not sure if that's a good
idea, Kasumi,

a bit of an enigmatic response.

"You mean that wasn't a man you were planning to set me up with?"

"No, I was going to introduce you to my tennis coach but he never showed

up,

and after I told him so much about you too the

too, the

 jerk! But Kasumi you and that

Taka guy, that was magic, I could tell. "

"Do you really think so, Miko?"  Kasumi continued to rub her cheek.

"As if the god's

gods

He had to forget her while he still could. This was not some call girl he
could leave without guilt, or someone to use for future strategies. This

was

some one who had to be protected, worshiped.

Heh. She got to him fast.

For the first time Taka turned to look at the girl. "How long were you
watching, Itachi?" he demanded angrily.

"If you have to ask silly questions like that she must be special, I'm

very

jealous, big brother. "

Taka glared as he watched Itachi's smile grow broader. "I will speak with
uncle

Uncle

It had all started when Shampoo refused to leave after she delivered

diner.

dinner

"I'm doing my part too, you jerk! Come on, you saw how she was smiling!"

"She's always smiling!"

"Not like that, so please don't ask questions."

"Shampoo scared. Where Nice Girl keep spackle?"

Hehehe. Cute line.

The last few days had gone very well. Everyone had been very well behaved

in

her presence and very polite. If was going to be the usual result she

should

let Miko take her out more often.

But I thought she was interested in Taka. This is certainly an interesting
turn of events. ^_^

"My house is only a few blocks from here. Do you live around here too?"

"No, I stumbled over this place during one of my business trips.

Sureee, he does.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Kasumi said very relieved.

"Oh it's not as bad as it sounds it's

sounds, it's (or make them two sentences)

 just that the family business requires

me to travel so much. And the girls

girl's

"What? Oh, no, nothing like that. I'm what you could call a freelancer.
People pay me to solve their problems."

That's not a good way to phrase being a hit man. It only invites more
questions. He could hide it better.

Taka stared at Kasumi surprised by the insight. "Yes. Yes, exactly, you
could almost say I'm a cleaner."

Kasumi swooned.

Nice touch.

The client was a short man who sweated easily and gasped uncomfortably as

he

waddled through the crowd. As unimpressive as he looked he

looked, he

"I'm sorry, Sir, I wasn't looking where I was going," Taka grabbed the man
by the shoulder pushing the bouquet harder. The client gasped as the thin
blade hidden inside the flowers slipped easily between his ribs. "Sir? Are
you all right?" Taka asked concerned. The hand holding the roses flicked
from left to right. "Somebody call an ambulance! This man is having a

heart

attack!" He shouted letting go of the client's shoulder pulling the

flowers

away. The client collapsed on the pavement, the small red mark on his

shirt

was hardly visible as his muscles of his chest held the wound closed. Taka
knelt down to check the fallen man's pulse. Satisfied, he waited for the
crowd to gather around the corpse before he casually walked away.

Smooth.

"I kept on schedule all the way through the mission and the mission was
successful. Why do we take assignments from the Yakuza? There's too much
risk they might fold under pressure and reveal too much about our
operations?" Taka asked trying desperately to change the subject.

"They'll never reveal anything about our operations. They don't know
anything in fact

anything. In

they never even hired you. They hired a Yanaguchi-gumi

member on loan from the United States. As for who hired us? That's

something

for your grandfather to worry about. You and I are free to sleep at

nights,"

his uncle chuckled. "So tell me more about this girl who can distract the
mighty Taka."

"And does she have a sister?" some one

someone

"All right everyone that's enough making fun of Taka, young love is to be
cherished let me tell you all about the next mission," Uncle grinned as he
waited for the laughter to die down. "I must say I'm going to envy you

young

pups, you're getting an all expense paid trip to sunny South America! Our
client is a group, which

group which

* * * * * * *

"Kasumi! You have a date with a complete stranger?" Soun wailed.

I would think he'd be delighted at the prospect of unloading an unwed
daughter who isn't getting any younger. :)

"He's a cleaner," Kasumi beamed.

Interesting start. I like the focus on Kasumi, and Taka seems well rounded
enough to stand on his own. I'd keep interactions with the rest of the cast
minimal myself, and focus on Kasumi and Taka. But it's your call. Prose was
a bit choppy in places, but overall very nice. Look forward to seeing more.

D.B. Sommer




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