Hi Brian,

Thanks again for another useful batch of corrections.  It pleases me to 
notice that there are fewer this time; perhaps there is hope I am improving! 
  :)

Sighing, Akane tried to ignore the roots of doubt and uncertainty that 
were
taking ahold of a mind that was only an hour earlier firmly awash with the
fertile seeds of revenge, justice and glory.

   ahold -- hold (I think)

   How does revenge fit in here? For her mother?

Yeah.  Akane's still pretty pumped up by the thought that she might get to 
find the people who killed her mother and give them some payback.

"Yes," Ranma nodded matter-of-factly.  Her tone was even, her face stony.

   "Yes," Ranma nodded -- "Yes." Ranma nodded (since nodding doesn't
directly indicate speech)

You know, one of these days, I'm going to remember that.  I make that 
mistake far too often.

   didn't ..." -- didn't ...." (Other way, here, since the sentence IS
terminated with the ellipse.)

Sigh.  :)

I will get the hang of elipses one of these days, I promise!

   Using an ellipse and a question mark together looks a little odd.
You might be better served by placing the ellipse between the 'it' and
'is', since nothing is really being ommitted from the statement.

One of these days.

   Interesting.

   I wish I had more to comment, but there's not much to point out that
you don't already seem to have a good grasp of! Good work. I'd like to
see more of this.

Thank you once again for the comments.  I'm glad you find the story 
interesting!  I've already got a portion of the third chapter done, so it 
should be along post haste.  :)

Cheers,
R. E.



_________________________________________________________________
Join the world�s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. 
http://www.hotmail.com


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'