This is rather late c&c. Gomen.
Just finished watching AL two days ago.

nitpick: Jounouchi?

I'm personally not very fond of first person introspective
pieces, but this felt rather appropriate in tone and exploration
of the characters and their relationship. Probably works due
to its brevity, so if this is going to be continued, a switch
to a conventional third person narration (or mix with) might be
on the cards?

Definitely I think this is a 'serious yuri' as you intended
and would definitely be interested in seeing more.

regards
Ee Loong

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