Not bad for what's there.  But the beginning could be used *so*
many diffierent ways...

Chibi Evil wrote:

	Pain.

	Pain and fear. Both feelings are an all-consuming wall around
me. They consume my entire life. They are the reason for my entire
existence. They are the reason I am the pathetic shell of a man I am 
today.

	I'm little more than a marionette, used when I'm needed and 
discarded when I'm no more use, at least at that moment. Another use
is always found for me.

	Always. It's almost enough to make me wish I wasn't so useful.

"Zelgadis?"

I know what she wishes, and I have no choice but to obey.  Someone - I
suspect Xelloss, but I have no proof - enchanted my wedding to Amelia,
turning my vows to honor and obey into a geas.  I know her every whim,
her slightest desire and deepest fantasy...and I have no choice but to
fulfill them all.

I believe I have been responsible for molding Amelia into the corrupt,
easily bored queen she is today.  I loved her, once, before she became
intoxicated by the fact that she could ground my soul into dust and I
would still "love" her.

The people of Sailoon have noticed too, but they, like me, remember the
pure-hearted avatar of Justice that was Amelia.  They never knew she
fought such a terrible dark side within her, demons as gross and vulgar
as her external self was sweet and noble.  But when I heard from her
heart, it was the dark musings that spoke most strongly to me - and the
locks she had placed on her own heart did nothing to hold me back.  Now,
fully half the former population lies dead from this or that dark
mockery of pleasure.

Of the survivors, most are gathered in the courthouse in front of us.
The ultimate bastion of Justice, to which even the King and Queen must
bow under Sailoon law...but only so long as it still stands.  Which dear
Amelia wishes to no longer be.

I do not know why Lina has not been seen in this kingdom since our
marriage; she was even absent at the reception, despite having been the
maid of honor at the ceremony.  Gourry was searching for her, worried to
the point that he never did eat a bite of the buffet.  Perhaps she lies
among the corpses, personally dispatched by Amelia...but Amelia was not
that corrupt just yet, unless she died on a return visit.  Perhaps she
left alive, heard what we had become, and simply decided never to
return.  Or perhaps she knows about the last part of my "wedding gift",
and even now seeks power enough to counter it and free her friends.
That would be just like her.

I never did memorize the words, but it matters not: Amelia wishes me to
level this courthouse with a Dragon Slave, so the words instantly pop to
mind.  As I chant, I ponder the sole piece of evidence I do have: every
spell I have "learned" this way, only to forget immediately after, was
once cast by Lina; the voice in my mind reciting the words is that of
Lina's, strained as if she is trapped just as I...

---

"Mamoru?"

I want to yell.  I want to hurl.  I want to scream in utter agony and
despair.

Instead, I kiss Usagi, and whisper, "I love you."

Beryl.  I love BERYL!  This woman in front of me MURDERED my one true
love, and she doesn't even know it.

Back in the Silver Millenium, Queen Serenity saw that Princess Serenity
was of just the right maturity to fall madly in love for life with a
perfect boyfriend.  So, she extended her power down to Earth and
brainwashed one.  Me.

Her spell continues, long after her death.  She tied it to her
daughter's, and eventually my, life force.  Not that she really expected
it to be an issue more than a thousand years later.

This was the straw that broke the camel's back on Earth.  Depradations
of all kinds had been forced on the Earth by the Moon Kingdom, but to
steal their Prince and lover of a (then) widely respected mage?  Beryl's
insanity was no detriment as they sought a leader for their renewed
outrage; indeed, the focus it gave her propelled her to the head of an
angry mob that was mutilating themselves in the hopes of gaining
revenge.

Make no mistake: Beryl did not create a single youma.  They made
themselves.  And I had no choice but to help kill them.

I doubt there are many people in the history of humanity who have ever
truly known what it is like, to be forced to strike down one's own
countrymen.  War is hell, but this is worse.

If only I'd known, when we were regaining our memories and our powers.
The spell was weak; Beryl almost broke it.  But that opportunity is lost
now, perhaps for good.  I don't think there are any of my former friends
left, now.  Just me and the Sailors.

The worst part?  I think the spell's starting to extend itself to our
daughter.  It was, after all, targetted to "Princess Serenity"...

---

"Shinji?"

[On second thought, nah.  This one would just repeat Evangelion
canon.  ^_^;]

---

"Tenchi?"

[...same problem, different series.]

---

"Principal Kuno?"

Dem pineapples, dey be callin' me again!  What be it now?  The students,
they don' *like* the haircuts, mon.  But de pineapples be insistin' on
it.

It's not like I got no choice in followin' them, oh no.  I could
disobey.  I could say no, just like dat.  But, you see, dey also be
talkin' to my daughter.  L'il Kodachi be firmly in their grip, mon; she
just tends th' greenhouse as a cover.  I sometimes wonder if they've
already turned her into mulch and replaced her like one a' dem pod
people in de bad sci-fi way back when.  Dey've certainly touched her in
da head, if you know what I mean...and I fear dey may be touchin' her
all over, too.  But who'd believe my daughter got raped by her own
vines, especially when dey remove all de evidence?  Try as I might,
though, I can't find another explanation for some of her sounds when she
be workin' in da greenhouse.

Dat be why I keep practicin' wit' de shears, mon.  One a' these days,
I'm gonna work up de courage to storm de greenhouse and free us both
from da killer plants, wit' my son by my side.  But until den, fear for
what dey will do, and pain from knowing what dey *do* do, keeps me in
line.

---

"Fah-REEED!"

It's not easy, acting the part of the insane Emperor.  Especially when I
am very much a sane, rational being.  Even writing this diary was once a
forbidden temptation, lest anyone find it and know the truth while I am
still on the throne.  But I find my will weakening these days, and I
desire that the world know why I did what I did, before I make a fatal
slip...for the odds are that such a slip would indeed be fatal.

Little Tokyo is, of course, a throughly modern city, set far away from
most other civilization.  Normal sized humans would tower over our
buildings, but then, normal humans are not allowed near the city.  You
see, Little Tokyo was founded as an experiment: every one of our
citizens was uploaded into a cyborg body.  We set out to prove that such
was safe, in a world increasingly in the grip of luddites and
reactionaries convinced - without a shred of evidence beyond their own
disturbed imaginations - that all new technology is horrible and evil.

With that context, it should come as little surprise that it was easy to
draft legally binding quarantine rules.  They did not want to come here,
and we did not want them here.  Of course, we tricked them into making
the quarantine only upon non-cyborgs; we could come and go as we
pleased, which left some opening for industry and all the usual imports
and exports a big city needs.

Much of the city was planned in this manner, but much more of it was
left to grow in the organic, chaotic way most cities do.  Given the
anarchist tendencies of those who so embrace our ways, there was little
choice.  Still, this presented a dillema when it came to the question of
who should rule.  There was no question that someone eventually would,
but how to ensure that no one who did, abused the power?

That is where I came in.  I was originally one of the main financieers,
and happened to have title to all of Little Tokyo when the idea came to
me.  Rather than distribute the land, I held title to it, and had my
cyborg body's voicebox crippled so it could only say one word.  That
done, I was introduced as "insane Emperor Fred", the ultimate - and
ultimately ineffective - governor for life of Little Tokyo.  Only my
closest associates knew the truth - and even then, being unable to speak
to anyone, even my dear (if a little spoiled and deluded) daughter Vi,
was supremely frustrating at first.  Eventually, I got used to it; I had
no choice.

Most decisions are made by the Council, which is mostly comprised of
those who desire power enough to actively seek a seat on the Council.
Thus do we screen out the excessively power hungry, and dribble tidbits
to them until we can either convert them to our way of thinking or
otherwise deal with them.  Should things get too out of hand, as they
have, I retain the ability to become "temporarily" sane, if still
vocally impaired, and take what action needs to be taken.  But it is my
duty to remain "insane" until needed.

This city's pains are my pains.  The citizens' fears are my fears.  I am
a servant of the public.  I sometimes wish I could retire...but I know
that, if I do, much of what I have lived for will be threatened.

Ironically, the experiment seems to have worked so far.  The citizens
are, as hoped, happier, more prosperous, and better by almost every
measure we have devised, relative to the world at large.  Medical
problems have dropped to near zero' even that crazy woman with missiles
in her hair usually does little worse than singe the unfortunate victims
of her wrath - painful, but hardly debilitating.  Even if all the
research labs and repair shops closed forever tomorrow, thus depriving
me of any hope of a better or replacement body when this one wears out,
I am expected to live for thousands of years.

Thousands of years of faked insanity.  Of pain, watching my charges grow
up mostly unaided.  Of fear, knowing what would happen if I helped them
too much.  And in all that time, I will only really exist when I am of
use...and I will be my own cruel master, deciding when to use me and
when to discard me.

Perhaps I really am insane.


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