Subject: [FFML] [FanFic][SM] Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!! Ch.10 P.2 (18/18)
From: Boredcollective@aol.com
Date: 2/3/2002, 7:18 PM
To: ffml@anifics.com

Attachments seem to be the best way of handling it so far, wouldn't you
all agree?


-- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis --
-- File: 18.txt

Gotta finish this one sometime...

Thanks go out to Jason Hanks and a whole bunch of other people who
commented and helped, like Tefloncat and Josh Temple and DB Sommer.

Some of them didn't work on this one, but they sure helped out on
previous ones!

So, back for more, eh?! We got a pretty good response on the last
part, so I guess you're ready for this one. Somebody out there was
wondering about 'Tim, Nephrite, and Jadeite, I'll bet...

The rest of the earlier parts is available by request, but a lot of
it can be found at the Lost Library of Florestica: 

http://lwf58.tripod.com/fan_fiction/ben-oliver/index.html

Any and all comments and/or criticism is greatly appreciated. If
there are any qualms about the plot, it can be altered.

(Continued from 16/?? and 17/??)

^_^;;;

	While SOMEBODY was too wrapped up in her own flashback to care,
Nephrite was trying to escape from an elite youma death squad. Oh
yes, he'd done a good enough job of getting Molly out of the trap
and getting away, at first, but now they had actually managed to
block teleportation and were hot on his trail.

	The youma general looked down at the unconscious girl he
carried and considered the complete insanity of his actions. Why
bother risking his career and his neck to help out a girl he'd only
met a short time ago? He really did not know.

	Molly did look very like someone he'd known before. He couldn't
say who, but for some reason, this familiarity made him feel very,
very protective of her.

	Dashing around a corner with Molly cradled in his arms like
an excessively overdeveloped baby, Nephrite struggled to make his
motions as quiet as they could be. Since he was outgunned for the
moment, stealth would be his best defense.

	Actually, stealth would have worked, except for the racket that
the girl he'd just ran into made.

	Sailor Moon gasped as she saw with whom she had just collided.
"Nephrite!" she exclaimed, her voice echoing throughout the alleyway.
"There you are! Sailor Mercury said that you were being attacked by
all these monsters and had Molly with you! Good to see you're not
all THAT evil at heart!" She gave the general a nice, loud and
friendly slap on the shoulder. "Say, how do you think you're gonna
make it out of THIS one? You'd think those youma were actually
trying to kill you something like that. But naaaaaaaaaaaaaaw, you're
a big, high and mighty general, aren't you? Come on, they'd never
do THAT to YOU-"

	Nephrite clapped a hand over Sailor Moon's mouth and spun her
around so he could maneuver her under his arm while shifting Molly
into a similar quasi-standing position. "SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" He backed
up against the wall just as a dozen youma ran by the alleyway
entrance, not noticing him or the two teenage girls with him.

	"Mrph!" Sailor Moon tried to shout, but stopped when she
realized that her mouth was being covered. She pulled the fingers
aside and with her brow furrowed in annoyance, she asked, "Hey!
What'ja do that for? I'm here to help, you know!"

	"Good!" Nephrite breathed as forcefully and silently as he
could manage. "Now BE. QUIET." He paused. "Where are the other three?
Earth, Mercury and Mars?"

	Sailor Moon put a finger to her chin and whispered. "Well,
Sailor Earth was still kinda out of it from the big battle we had
a little while ago; she's at home, resting. Let's see, oh! Mercury
was having trouble finding exactly where you were--something about
a TON of interference, so we split up to cover more ground." She
turned to face her unconscious friend. "Molly! Hey there, Mol!" She
patted the brunette's shoulder in an attempt to wake her. "Mol?
Mol-eeeeeeee!"

	Nephrite pulled the sailor-suited blonde against the wall with
him again. "Quiet!"

	"Woodah-woodah-woodah-woodah!" a purple-skinned youma with
leopard-spotted clothes let out a war-cry as she sped by the entrance
to the alley on a unicycle, popping its hand over its mouth off and
on, again failing to spot them.

	Sailor Moon frowned and looked down to see where Nephrite
was holding her. "Hey! Watch it with the hands, mister!" she broke
out of Nephrite's grip and loudly smacked him against the cheek.
The slap made a rather nice echo, too. "And I thought you were a
gentleman! You better shape up if you're gonna be around my friend
Molly much longer."

	Nephrite groaned in frustration, a red hand-shaped mark
appearing on his face.

	A second later, Molly also groaned and opened her eyes.

	"Molly!" Sailor Moon exclaimed cheerfully. "Glad to see you're
doing okay!"

	"Oh boy," Molly muttered to herself and lost consciousness
again.

	Sailor Moon frowned. "Hey!"

	Nephrite gritted his teeth and looked at the pretty sailor
suited soldier for love and justice. "Okay, look, as much as I hate
to admit it, I'll need your help."

	The blonde brightened. "All right!" she shouted, jumping for
joy. "Nephrite wants us to help! Nephrite's gonna join us! Yaaay!"

	The long-haired general grimaced, thinking of some very
creative and unflattering things to call the girl, but in the
interest of diplomacy, he refrained from mentioning them. He took a
deep breath and pointed at Sailor Moon. "I'm NOT joining you," he
whispered in a sharp tone that left no room for doubt, "I just need
someone to keep all of Zoicite's goons busy until I can come up with
enough power to fight them off."

	Sailor Moon blinked a couple of times and smiled. "Oh, okay! We
can do that!" She dug around in some unseen pockets on the back of
her skirt and pulled out what looked like a small pink calculator.
"Hey, I thought I'd left this at home." She shrugged. "Oh well." She
pushed a pair of buttons to turn on a signal. "Mars! Mercury! I
found 'em! We're a block away from Tokyo Tower, in that one alley,
umm, you know--"

	"I've traced your signal to your coordinates," Mercury's voice
responded in a robotic tone. "We will be there shortly."

	"Hah!" Sailor Moon laughed, turning to face Nephrite. "Hear
that? We'll take care of your youma problem for you! But you better
keep Molly safe, got it?!"

	Nephrite nodded slowly.

	Sailor Moon ran out of the alleyway and shouted, "OKAY, COME
ON OUT HERE, ALL YOU EVIL NASTIES, YOU!" She started waving her
hands and fingers around, generating a series of silly poses. "'Cause
I am Sailor Moon! I fight for love and justice and you've picked on
my good buddy Nephrite, and that's just plain unforgiveable!" She
took a deep breath and concluded her short speech with, "In the name
of the Moon, I'll punish you!"

	*PHOOMP!!!* All thirteen youma in the immediate area instantly
turned around to face her.

	Sailor Moon stood firm with her chin up and her fists on her
hips, not flinching as one of the marauding monsters advanced toward
her. She took off her tiara and chucked it at the nearest beast,
shouting, "Moon Tiara Magic... errr, Action!"

	*Ping!* The fake gold tiara pegged a spider-youma in one of
her eight eyes. "Ow! Hey, watch it, girl!"

	"Yeah!" the big-mouthed youma named Scream added, peering over
Serena's shoulder. "Now get out of the way and let us kill Nephrite!"

	Sailor Moon's pink communicator crackled to life again. "Sailor
Moon!" Mercury's voice called. "Remember, you're using the Luna Pen!
Contrary to appearances, your prism is still broken. Do NOT, I repeat,
do NOT attempt to fight any of the youma by yourself!"

	Serena swallowed hard, suddenly remembering about her prism.
She snapped her fingers. "Awww, nuts..."

	Nephrite closed his eyes, slapped his forehead and groaned,
shaking his head.

	"I mean it, pretty-girl-that-looks-like-Sailor-Moon-but-
doesn't-have-any-of-her-powers!" Scream added menacingly.

	BoomBoom stepped forward, brandishing a handful of explosive
nodules. Llama the WhickerWoman held up her thorned arms. One of her
thorns had the name "Maxfield Stanton" engraved on the edge. "Heh
heh heh heh!"

	Fifteen other monsters also advanced throuh the shadows,
smiling with their fangs gleaming in the moonlight.

	"Ready?" Scream asked. "Aim." She got into a wide stance, as
did just about everyone else and opened her mouth. "FIRE!!!"

	"Yipe!" Serena whispered, and frantically began to dodge.

@_@

	Guardian Jadeite awoke to the sound of grinding metal and a
sharp ringing in her ears. Her small body felt like it had been
put through a meat grinder and used as foam insulation for a cheaply-
built wooden-frame house. She forcefully pushed herself up onto her
stinging hands and knees, watching the spinning images on the back
of her retinas settle into focus. "UNNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

	Apparently, she had broken through that two-foot-thick brick
and concrete wall into a metal refinery or foundry of some sort. She
was on a high metal catwalk suspended over a shocking scene. Huge
pots of boiling red liquids were being carried around by automated
equipment and eventually poured into several large, square bins up
higher. Jadeite tried to name it and the words "ingot machine" came
to her lips.

	A few workers on the lower levels had failed to notice her.

	<Wh... what have you DONE?!> General Jadeite asked from within
the mental ether.

	The Guardian smiled in satisfaction and replied, "I've weakened
you. My attacks have damaged you so much that I'm strong enough to
take control by something as simple as flexing a muscle."

	<Jane, this is very bad,> the General began, then trailed off.
<Wait, your name isn't Jane, is it?>

	The one in control of the cute little girl's body shook her
head. "Why, no, it isn't."

	<Who are you, then? Answer me!>

	Guardian Jadeite struggled to her feet, legs wobbling and
getting ready to buckle. "Heh. If," she panted, "if you haven't
figured it out by now, I'm not telling you, you foul corruption."

	The General remained silent for the next few moments.

	The Guardian blinked hard, trying to straighten out her vision
and gear up for the next and final mental shock to destroy her
enemy. "You should remember," she coughed, "that of all Earth's
Guardians, Jadeite was the most tested, loyal and successful. That's
why he was the first picked by Queen Beryl to be turned."

	The General pondered this and added, <Yes, so great was his
loyalty and strength of will, all attempts at manipulating me--him
failed, so his mind had to be replaced.>

	The little girl took a deep breath, charging her mind with
all the energy she had left. "Unfortunately, the replacement mind
was no comparison for Jadeite's real person," she clenched her
teeth, "then he started to fail, his name became soiled and he ran
away for years until Beryl called back her play-thing."

	A series of memories flooded back to the mind of the being
that had poisoned Jadeite's inner being for so eternally long.
<I... remember!>

	"Goodbye, Beryl's minion!" Guardian Jadeite exclaimed and
fired up the last available charge.

	*Bzrrrrrrrrrr!* An almost electrical white energy laced with
pink danced along the girl's body. Her form expanded and contracted
with the pulsing of the magical forces, going to that of a four-
year-old to a sixteen-year-old and back again.

	At the same time, the General was laughing. <Oh yes, I
remember! I remember it ALL now! I remember how I was chosen to
take your place, you worn-out old immortal coot!> Aloud, through
the girl's mouth, he added, "I also remember how I defeated you
in the first place! BWA-HAH!"

	*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRR!!!* A black spark joined the white magic,
jumping around the cute girl's body.

	"I have not come this far only to lose!!!" the Guardian shot
back, bringing to bear all he could muster, and more.

	*BRWZZREOW-REOW-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRZZZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!*

	The magical conflict intensified. Jadeite's body convulsed and
fell down flat on her chest on the high catwalk.

	The conflicting energies separated themselves from the body,
sparkling in the air over to hover as light and shadow in the middle
of the cavernous foundry.

	The workers looked up to see the light display.

	The two powers resolved themselves into two fully grown men,
who were exactly identical one to the other. They had short blond
hair and wore grey uniforms with black boots and were only
distinguishable by the nametags pinned to the jackets of their
uniforms. One tag read in black, backed by white, [Guardian Jadeite]
and the other read in white with a black background, [General
Jadeite.]

	"So we meet again, Guardian," General laughed, smiling smugly
and folding his arms as he floated in the air. "'Twill be the second
such battle we've fought in our lifetime."

	"Indeed, General, 'tis," Guardian trilled in reply.

	"Last time," General added, "badly lost, you did. Very badly."

	Guardian clenched a fist and slapped it into a palm between
himself and his opponent. "Lucky you were last time, yes?"

	"Lucky?" General looked amused. "Weak you were; strong was I!"

	"Weak was I not!" Guardian shouted back. "Jadeite, trustworthy
he was, loyal to Earth's kings for over ten generations! Integrity
and duty was his nature."

	"Integrity? Paranoia, meaneth you: the immortal Jadeite, first
Earth Guardian. When nine hundred years he reached, constantly young
his body was, but his mind must have slipped after so much time."

	"Thy words, strange they are. Translate you must!"

	"What meaneth thou?!"

	"We are enemies; we have no need to be formal and civil one
to another!"

	"Ah, yes, quite right. Ahem, I mean YOU, Jadeite, went senile,
you well-preserved old goat!"

	Guardian took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, it's
all coming back to me now, too. Yes, I admit it, I was getting
careless, spending hours at the bar with the newest guardians,
like Nephrite, a mere thirty-five years old. Zoicite and Kunzite were
barely twenty. I'd been serving for so long, I-"

	"You lost your mind to carelessness," General spat, "and when
I came to power, it was a pleasure to see everything that was yours
destroyed!"

	Guardian's form blurred and crackled for a moment before
resolidifying. "In the war that ended the Silver Millennium, you
ruined my reputation and killed or transformed all of my friends and
great-grandchildren, you monster!"

	General grinned, his eyes focusing deeply on Guardian. "So I
did. And in this new lifetime, I fought to destroy the last remaining
hope for your pitiful prince and the old regime!"

	"Heh. You tried to kill the little Sailor Scout girls, didn't
you? And now, their minds are so unfocused. Yes, as I recall, you
found out their true identities in this lifetime, too: nothing but a
pack of ditzy teenage schoolgirls."

	"That's right! I know who they are and I'll destroy them just
after I finish with YOU!"

	"Nevertheless," Guardian continued, "even though the Sailor
Scouts had so many things counting against them, they kept beating
you back, with or without the help of Tuxedo Mask or that 'Tim guy."

	General frowned. "But, I, er, they," he paused, caught off
guard, "they got lucky!"

	"Oh, really?" Guardian folded his arms. "For three months?!"

	"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

	It was Guardian's turn to grin back. "Who's the weak one now?"

	"I am NOT weak!" General protested indignantly.

	"In _this_ lifetime, you've lost your edge."

	"I have not!"

	"You probably can't even beat ME now, you senile old pansy,
you!"

	General started to turn red with rage, energy crackling around
him. "YES I CAN! YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO ME!!!"

	Guardian made an obscene, one-fingered gesture and casually
motioned with it for the General to come forward, voicing a few
similarly offensive taunts. "Pansy! Tum-tum! Squirtle! Jigglypuff!"

	General's mouth fell open in shock. "WHY YOU @#^%@#^@#^!!!"
He used the colorful term for an illegitimate son of an eight-toed,
three-fisted camel with thirty-seven teeth and an overbite.

	Guardian merely smiled in response.

	*WHOOSH!* With that, General dove forward in the air with
a big, nasty punch prepared for his enemy, who barely managed to
dodge. Enraged at the lack of a satisfyingly crunchy impact, the
Dark Kingdom General pointed at the Guardian with an open palm,
gathering together latent elemental energies present in the area.

	*RRRRRRRRRK-BL-BL-BLAM!* A quick burst of destructive
energy shot out at Guardian, who once again managed to sidestep
the strike.

	The blast continued on, crashing into one of the transport
mechanisms for the vats of molten metal. The whole gantry rattled
violently from the impact.

	The foundry workers looked at each other in surprise as one
of the big pots broke free and started to tumble downward. Someone
hit the alarm.

	*Woop-Woop-Woop!*

	The workers ran away and shut the big steel doors behind them.

	*KERACK!* The two Jadeites threw themselvs at each other, each
planting a fist in the others' cheek. They rebounded away, glaring at
the other and shaking their stinging hands in pain.

	Guardian levitated downward to land on the concrete floor
and motioned for the other to do the same.

	With barely a moment's hesitation, General landed in front of
his counterpart.

	"We both know that neither of us is suited to aerial combat,"
Guardian reminded the General. "So let's do this the old Navy way."

	General folded his arms. "Oh? And what might that be?"

	"The first guy to die," Guardian continued, leaping forward
with a mean, straightfisted punch, "LOSES!"

	*SMACK!* General staggered backward from the impact to the
bridge of his nose. Yes, it hurt, but he wasn't going to give his
pitifully weak enemy the joy of knowing how much pain that caused.
"Is that the best you can do, o senile one?"

	"Takes one to know one, in-service-to-Beryl-for-millennia-boy!"

	"Why YOU LITTLE--!!!"

	*THWACK!*
	*BAM!*
	*POW!*

	And so the battle was joined.

	...

	I hate that phrase, I really do, so let's just say that they
went at it, tossing punches like a pair of fighting bowlegged
cowboys. Yeah, that's the ticket!

^_^

	"Waaa-AAAH-AAAAH-AAAAH!!!" Serena screamed as she somehow
managed to keep dodging all the youma-generated flak coming at her
and Nephrite, who kept himself occupied trying to block the numerous
strikes with an energy field while sidestepping a few others and
protecting Molly under his arm.

	"Stop moving and let us kill you!" Llama the Whickerwoman
complained loudly.

	"Hah!" Nephrite shot back.

	YOU'RE ONLY PROLONGING THE INEVITABLE, said Death, who
patiently stood beside the doomed general, his scythe gleaming as
he waited for the appointed moment. Nephrite gaped at him.

	"Source of all power," a distant feminine voice intoned.

	All the youma paused to glance around and look for the source
of the sound.

	"Huh?"
	"Hey?"
	"Wot?"

	"Crimson fire burning bright!"

	*BLAM!* Nephrite took advantage of the opening and blasted
BoomBoom in the chest, sending her falling to her rump several
feet away.

	"Hey!" BoomBoom complained.

	"Fireball!" the incantation concluded and a huge flaming
sphere rocketed on the scene, flickering and hovering in the
midst of the assembled youma army.

	*KA-BLAAAAAAAM!!!* The fireball exploded, sending the
assembled hordes flying every which way.

	*Rrrr-dah!*Dah-dah-diih-dah-dah!*Dah-dah-dah-di-dah-dah!*
Some dramatic music spontaneously sprang into action as Sailor
Mars and Sailor Mercury rushed onto the scene, posing for any
cameramen that might be watching.

	"I am Sailor Mars! On behalf of the planet Mars, with my
magic and my high-heels, I'll punish you!"

	"I am Sailor Mercury! I fight for Love and Justice and
Fruitbats," the girl with short blue hair exclaimed, then held
her head for a moment and shook it before continuing, "You know
what I mean! We will punish you!"

	*Snap* A camera-headed youma took a picture for posterity.
The rest of the group stood back up. They had been more surprised
and stunned than hurt by the fireball.

	"Ooooh," Llama the WhickerWoman awed. "I like dem!"

	BoomBoom looked at her friends. "Can we kill dem too?"

	"Shawre!" agreed Scream.

	The entire army took up battle positions. They formed up in
teams of various numbers and ran at each of the heroines.

	"Stop," Mercury ordered the ones charging her. They obeyed,
looking at her quizically. She pulled out a small, clear quartz
crystal. "Totally," she began quietly and the sound of electric
guitars boomed in the distance.

	*RRRRR-NREW-NREW-NREW-NREOW!*

	Mercury struck another, more angular pose, thrusting a hand
into the air. The crystal began to glow. "Cosmic!" 

	*REOW-NREW-NREOW-NREW-NREOW!*

	A blue aura sprang up around the girl as she again shifted
her pose. "Crystal!"

	*REEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!*

	Her hair blew upward from the force of the powerup. "POWER!"

	*RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOWWW-WOW-WOW-WOW!!!*

	"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

	With heavy metal music playing and the whole of the cosmos
swirling behind her, Sailor Mercury's hair and outfit glowed as it
changed. Her head became engulfed in a huge, big, puffy and curly
blue 'fro and her skirt turned white with a rim of light-blue. The
bow on the back of her outfit grew to three times its previous size
and lightened in color. A set of tri-level shoulder-guards added
themselves to her outfit and a tri-pronged Peace sign blinked into
place over the gem of her tiara. Her boots turned white and a blue-
rhinestone-lined gold belt winked into place around her waist.

	The youma attacking the souped-up Sailor Mercury 'ooooo'ed.
"Dude," Scream agreed with Mercury's last statement.

	Super Sailor Mercury held a hand out, backed by the symbols
for Mercury and for Peace. Streams of water flowed in to form an
electric guitar. She gripped the guitar and ran her fingers along
the strings, tuning it while playing Stairway to Heaven. "Mercury
Aqua Rock n' Roll!!!" she shouted, sending bolts of water screaming
at the beasts surrounding her with every elongated chord.

	"WAAAAAH!" Scream screamed, getting blasted back. Several
others did likewise.

	"Yaaaay! Go Mercury!" Sailor Moon cheered, then paused. "Hey,
where'd she get that kind of power from?"

	A ball of glowing energy appeared in Sailor Mars's hand. She
twirled around and shouted, "Fireball!" before chucking the flaming
magic at her attackers.

	*BLAAAAM!!!* Half the army was scattered again.

	Nephrite's eyes went wide as he saw the dazzling display that
the Sailor Scouts were putting on.

	*BLAM-BLAM!*WHAAAARSHHH!*RRRN-NRE-NRE-NRE-NRE-NRRREH!!!*

	RIGHT. SOD YOU, THEN, Death said, glaring at Nephrite. The
embodiment of the cessation of life pointed at a youma that had
just gotten hit by a combination of a fireball and one of Mercury's
water-blasts, instantly turning the monster into a pile of dust.

	It just wasn't the same, though.

---

	*POW-whack-SLAM!* Guardian delivered a three-stage punch
to General's chin, forcing him back.

	General gripped his mouth, a trail of blue energy-matrix
fluid slowly spilling from it.

	Guardian shook his hands, which were stinging from the last
couple of strikes. "Your powers have grown weak, old youma."

	General kept his expression neutral. "Hmph."

	"When you took over, I was taken by surprise, but now, I
have the advantage."

	"Only the advantage of cuteness, Jadeite!"

	*BAM!* General jabbed his double in the sternum with his
knuckles, knocking the wind out of the Guardian.

	*Krunch!*Whack!* Guardian twirled in close and jammed his heel
against General's toes and followed up with a swift kick in the
shins.

	"OWWW! OWWW! OWWW!" General yelled, hopping up and down on one
foot, holding his leg in both hands. He growled and responded with
an elbow to Guardian's forehead.

	*WHACK!*

	"AAAAAAH!" Guardian yelped, holding his face.

	General grabbed Guardian by the belt and collar, swung him
back, and tossed him high up into a catwalk above. He folded his
arms and levitated upward to land in front of the prone goodie-two-
shoes. "Hah!"

	*Cruuuuuunch!* General ground his heel into Guardian's well-
manicured fingers.

	"GAAAAAH!"

	General picked up his counterpart by the collar and walked
over to dangle him above a cauldron of molten lead. "Heh, it's been
fun, little 'guardian.'"

	*BLAM!* Guardian brought up his hands and nailed his enemy
in the face with a bolt of pure energy, knocking the evil one down
and allowing the good guy to tumble back onto the catwalk.

	General slowly stood up to see Guardian leaping forward with
a kick aimed at his neck.

	*BAM!* General fell backward, barely managing to hang on to
the last bit of the metal catwalk with one hand. Guardain ran
forward and started kicking at his fingers.

	*WHACK!* General swang back up around and over to knock his
opponent down with a razor-kick. As the youma general landed, he
took a moment to hunker down and caress his own aching fingers.
"Owwww..." After that, he took a couple steps forward and stepped
heavily on the Guardian's chest. "You are beaten!" he laughed.
"You should know that Evil always triumphs over Good because Good
is dumb!"

	"I am not!" Guardian denied. He grabbed General's foot and
wrenched it aside, knocking over his enemy.

	*CLANG!* General's head smacked loudly against the metal
railing.

	"Gotcha!"

	"Grrr!" General growled and kicked hard several times against
Guardian's face. *Whack-whack-whack-whack-whack!*

	"OWWWW!" Guardian tried to block with his arms but this was
only partially effective, as his arms kept slamming into his face.
He held his hand out at arms length, a blue spark forming in his
palm.

	*BLAM!!!* General was sent reeling from the impact, bridging
the gap from the present catwalk to another, not too far away from
where there lay a small, unconscious blonde girl.

	Guardian flew swiftly over to the other catwalk.

	General struggled to his feet. He was breathing harshly and
roughly, holding his chest with one hand, his eyes bulging and his
face lined with the oozing blue energy-matrix fluid that currently
served him as blood. Even on his feet, he looked just about ready
to keel over.

	Guardian, with only a bruised face and a couple of broken
teeth, appeared to be in a much better shape than his double. "Okay,
General!" he called. "You can't win this one! I've worn you down too
much already!"

	General bared his teeth and glared through his one working eye.
"Issue your ultimatum, already!" he spat impatiently.

	"I'd offer to let you live," Guardian said, then shook his
head, "but I know you'd always come back to haunt me, possessing my
body at every chance."

	General smiled a broken-toothed grin. "Heh. You're not as
stupid as it looks, it would seem." He paused to spit out a chunk
of magical enamel. "You're going to kill me, then?"

	Guardian nodded. "Yup!" He held out a hand, charging it with
enough power to obliterate what remained of his foe. With little
fanfare, the ancient Terran warrior fired off his shot.

	General's grin didn't fade. "Then I'll take you with me." He
held up a small, blonde, eight-to-nine-year-old girl in a darkened
white dress and held her in front of him as a human shield. "I
didn't want this stupid body anyway!"

	Guardian's eyes went wide and he gasped as he recognized
exactly whose body that was. The blast sped uncontested at the
motionless girl and the nefarious General.

	"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Guardian shouted,
raising his hands and rushing toward them.

	General laughed pityingly, certain of his triumph.

	*BLAAAAAAM!!!* The energy lit the foundry. Shafts of blue shot
out of the windows and the entire building shook from the explosion.
The roof and one of the walls caved in, smashing an awful lot of
expensive equipment.

---

	In the infirmary located in the gigantic underground base
buried beneath 'Tim's Ucchan, the balding Emergency Medical Hologram
laughed his head off as he examined the tricorder readings.

	"Again," laughed the EMH, "again you come to seek my services!"
He ran the scanning instrument around the pink-haired man's chest,
which was covered by the medical bed's restraining arm. "I told
you the replicated senzu beans would lose their potency for you if
you kept on swallowing them every few hours, so that brings us all
back to the basics." He casually frizzed the man's hair with one hand
as he pushed a few buttons on the BioBed. "Oh, hoh hoh! We'll just
have to rough it."

	"Hey," 'Tim complained weakly, "I had to train, didn't I?"

	"Finally beat Lina Inverse on maximum difficulty in the
holodeck, did you?" the doctor asked, smirking mockingly. "Well, good
for you."

	"I beat her on medium," 'Tim said, "she needed a few seconds to
power up her spells, but on maximum she kept on tossing around these
'Giga Slaves,' left and right, and those are kind of rough to try and
avoid."

	"Heh, you're no Shaburanigdo, that's for sure."

	 "Old Shabby was a wuss!" 'Tim growled, suddenly trying to sit
up. He slumped back down in pain.

	"Oh, really?"

	"But that's not why he's here," Ukkyo cut in, "he was fighting
three girls that came in and started insulting him."

	"I know. Having absolutely _nothing_ else to do since you
disabled my ability to shut myself off, I was watching," the EMH
said, not taking his eyes off of his scanning equipment. "So, you were
attacked by the Fates, were you?"

	"Is that who they were?" 'Tim asked, his voice rough as
sandpaper. "I thought they looked familiar, but what would THEY be
doing asking for change?"

	"Trying to distract you while they worked a spell on you," the
EMH continued. "Unfortunately for you, they didn't quite manage to
cast it, so you got toasted for your troublesome nature. Attacking
Belldandy, of all people? Honestly, you got barely half of what you
deserved."

	"I don't get along well with Fate."

	The doctor stifled another chuckle. "No, I suppose not."

	Ukkyo looked at the hologram, her face full of concern. "Is he
going to be okay this time?"

	The doctor looked at her seriously. "Has he ever been truly
'okay?'" He shook his head. "I've never seen it happen. I don't see
why it should come to pass now."

	"She means the hole in my chest," 'Tim reminded the physician.

	"Oh, be still your vaporized heart," the doctor said with a
smile. "Yes, you have a neatly cauterized cylinder drilled straight
through your sternum and out the back, taking a generous portion of
your spine in the process. I admire your attacker's workmanship."

	'Tim groaned in pain.

	The doctor slapped the man on the shoulder, not losing his grin
as he illicited another agonized noise from his patient. "Don't be
such a baby. Besides, that's just the icing on the cake." He punched
up an image of the man's brain activity and showed it to him. "Do you
see this? It means that you have a terminal, previously undetected
ailment which has no cure."

	Ukkyo's expression fell. "He has an incurable disease, too?"

	The doctor nodded. "Oh yes, they never get over this one before
dying, that's for sure. Sometimes, not even afterward."

	The woman backed off a little. "Is it contagious?"

	"Oh, no. This kind of thing only happens once in a century."

	"And there's no cure for it?!" 'Tim asked incredulously.

	"No, and not a single case has ever been documented of one so
afflicted failing to succumb. A few died before the full effect took
place, but it is absolutely, positively incurable." The doctor
paused, looking down at the quasihuman. "Can I have all your stuff
when you're gone?"

	'Tim glared at the only one in the world currently qualified
to treat him. "You?! No! When I'm gone, the self-destruct mechanism's
going off. After the Robot destroys all key systems, the whole place
is going sky-high!"

	"That's not funny, 'Tim!" Ukkyo pleaded. "Stop it!"

	[But,] the main computer protested in its sweet, echoey
feminine voice, [I have so much more life to live; things to
contribute to the universe!]

	"No buts," 'Tim coughed. "If I can't have you, no one can!"

	*HISSSSSSSS!* The doctor injected him with 20ccs of a special
painkiller designed for the man's unique physiology.

	'Tim motioned for the EMH to continue. "Keep it coming...
More... More... Okay, stop. Ooooooh... Uhh, stop, Doctor. Stop.
Doctor...?!" He forcefully took the doctor's hypospray off of his
neck. "Hey!"

	"You're doomed," the doctor reminded him with a cheerful flair.
"You've got to enjoy life while it lasts!"

	HE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW, a voice as heavy as the slamming of a
thousand stone coffin lids said, its black-robed owner carrying
closer His gleaming scythe. ENJOY IT, BECAUSE IT WON'T BE LONG NOW.

	"Not NOW, Death!" 'Tim shouted as best he could without a
functioning circulatory system. "The whole city block above got
blown up in a BEAUTIFUL plume of fire, there's a big hole in my
chest, I've got some terminal disease--"

	IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, ISN'T IT? OH, LINA INVERSE BLEW A CHUNK
OUT OF MY SKULL, PICCOLO RIPPED OUT MY SPLEEN, SAILOR PLUTO BASHED
IN MY HEAD, SAILOR URANUS PUT HER SWORD THROUGH MY CHEST, JADEITE
BLEW UP MY CORE BEING. Death shook his head. IT IS ABOUT TIME YOU
FACED DEATH LIKE A MAN AND NOT LIKE THAT GOOF SIGMA.

	"Yeah?!" 'Tim yelled as far as what remained of his lungs
allowed him. "Well, it's not just about me anymore!"

	ISN'T IT?

	"No! A police report came in a few minutes ago: Jade, a CUTE
teenage girl I'm taking care of, dropped acid, and she freaked out
and hijacked a busload of penguins. So I'm KIND OF in the middle of
a family crisis here. Could you came back later? I need to go help
her out! And the Sailor Scouts! Them too! They need my help."

	Death shook his head.

	NO.

	"But I have to-"

	DICTATE A WILL.

	"Look what you did," Ukkyo chided the doctor, "now you have him
seeing things!" She added silently, "And you have him thinking about
everything except ME!"

	TIME TO GO, "TIM, Death insisted in tones so low and grating
that it rattled the nearby and far away glass containers. One
actually cracked. Apparently not caring how it happened, the doctor
went over to stuff it back into the replicator to get a fresh one.
IT WON'T HURT TOO BADLY.

	"Gimme a minute, already!" 'Tim screamed at the giant, walking
skeleton. To Ukkyo and the doctor he said, "Look, I think my time's
gonna be short, so let me get my last wishes out?"

	Ukkyo nodded, frowning deeply and a tear going down one cheek.
"Okay."

	"In the last couple of minutes, I remembered something. I
recalled some of my unfinished business in this world."

	KEEP IT SHORT. THERE'S A PLAGUE IN CHINA I MUST ATTEND TO.

	'Tim looked Death straight in the eye sockets and laughed
hoarsely. "I'll keep it short if YOU'LL quit interrupting me!"

	Death drew near and grasped the man's neck with his cold, icy
fingers.

	A chime on the biobed beeped urgently and the indicators on the
overhanging screen dropped, starting to flash red. 'Tim grimaced
while the doctor chuckled and injected him with another series of
strange and esoteric compounds, allowing the readings to stabalize.

	SUCH AN INTERESTING BED. A SIMPLE PUSH OF THIS BUTTON OVER HERE
WILL STOP YOUR TEMPORARY HOLOGRAPHIC HEART FROM BEATING, SO EASILY.
OR HOW ABOUT ONE OF THESE DEVICES OVER HERE?

	'Tim glared at Death, who was standing right beside the
advanced stomach pump and the dental equipment. "Okay, okay. I'm
hurrying, I'm hurrying!" Under his breath he grumbled, "Darn natural
order of things..."

	WHAT WAS THAT?

	"Nothing," 'Tim replied, then let out an aggrivated sigh and
turned back toward his physician and his wide-eyed girlfriend. "Just
sit right back and you'll hear a tale; a tale of a fateful trip, that
started from a Martian port aboard a tiny ship. The mate was tiny,
wussie-thing, the skipper slightly, too. Eight passengers took off
that day for a three hour tour! A three hour tour!"

	Ukkyo frowned meaningfully at the doctor as her boyfriend's
voice went into a trilling sing-song of the words.

	"The rebels started rising up, the tiny ship was toast! If not
for the courage of the fearless king, the Koifish would be lost! The
Koifish would be lost!"

	Death started scraping his foot to the music, making a sound
like the echo of a fading cardiograph.

	"The ship crashed on the shore of a Terran isle, with Lord
Tranquil-itieee! The Princess, too! The Stardragon, and his Elf!
Sailor Mars! Terra's servants and Mary Ann, there at Dee-Point!"

	"I'm getting elevated brain activity in the visual cortex,"
the doctor whispered to Ukkyo. "Would you like to watch?" He pointed
at a screen by the head of the bed. "His flashbacks are almost always
very interesting to watch."

	"Now this is the tell of the castaways, they were there for
a short, short time, they had to make the best of things, it was
an uphill climb. The Moon King and the Princess too, did do their
very best, to help the others survive, in the arctic island waste.
No comm, no magic, no shuttle pods, not a single escape route, like
Isildur versus Sauron, as helpless as can be. So join us here this
once my freinds, you're sure to shed a tear, from eight stranded
castways, here on 'Daddy's Last Staaaaaand!'"

	The cook gaped at the imaginary physician. She looked over
at 'Tim. He kept spouting modified movie and television references.

	"It's bound to be more coherent," the EMH offered.

	"N' then Aye sed ta the General," 'Tim added in a gruff voice,
trusting a finger into the air, "Bam, zoom, straight ta the Moon!"

	Ukkyo glanced between the doctor and the pink-haired man.
"All right, all right!" she finally said.

###

	"Then BAM, zoom!" Princess Terrifying shouted at General
Zoicite, making emphatic gestures at the youma horde gathered in
front of her. "Straight ta the Moon!"

	Across the half-melted arctic plain, Zoicite grinned at those
she intended to murder, dozens of her monstrous armed minions
chuckling along with her. "Giles," she said to the tall blond man
standing at the head of the group, "your daughter amuses me. Where
did she learn such colorful language?"

	Lord Giles Tranquility stood as best he could with a fractured
leg and tore a large chunk of shrapnel from his side, applying direct
pressure and muttering a healing incantation before favoring their
attacker with a reply. "Probably from the Terrans," he spat out a
mouthful of blood. "They've become so foul-spoken since Kull was
overthrown. It's like they're not afraid to offend or anything,
especially since I've not met a single one of those constructs of
yours that's thought to use a deodorant."

	"Ah-hahahahaaaa!" Zoicite laughed with a finger to her chin
as she levitated with legs crossed. "Oh, you are truly a Lunar King,
worrying about others' manners above your own lives!"

	"You should be laughin'!" Terra shouted. "You're next!"

	Huggyn and Kyssin, Adopted Princess Terrifying's personal
assistants since she was a little girl, pulled their charge back.
"Don't, Terra. We're in danger!" The three post-adolescents were
in much better condition than Tranquility. The servants only had a
few scrapes and bruises, while Terra's injuries had almost completely
vanished in the few minutes it took to drag themselves and the other
couple survivors out of the small vessel's wreckage.

	<You jerks,> thought Terra, glaring at the General and the
assorted beasts surrounding her. <You nearly killed my human body!>

	<Honestly, they don't appreciate how much effort I've put
into it.>

	<I sure said it!>

	<And they've wounded Giles. Grrr. He's my favorite being in
this miserable !>

	<Huggyn and Kissyn seem to be okay, more or less.>

	<Good. Call me crazy, but I actually like those two.>

	<Okay, crazy.> 

	<Well, why don't we BLAST THEM ALL for doing such a horrible
thing to our toys?>

	<Hello! Look, we don't have enough power left! We shunted it
all into the crummy Knight in Shining Armor, WHOM, I might add, still
got taken out during the battle on Uranus!>

	<WHOSE ANUS?!!?!?>

	<...>

	<Stupid, clumsy construct. Went and got himself killed.>

	<Yeah. DARN, I miss him...>

	<He was destroyed before I could get his essence back! He's
GONE! Gone forever!>

	<Don't worry, when we get out of this, we'll build a new one,
a better one. We'll call him the Nuclear Midnight Ninja. Hey, maybe
we'll even try generating a female Knight in Shining Armor to break
the monotony! Call her the Midnight Ninja Maiden!>

	<Wishful thinking...>

	<I don't WANT a female KISA matrix running around, calling
herself the MNM! I want my Atomic Starlight Knight back!!!>

	<Let it go! He's gone.>

	General Zoicite laughed again. "Oh, why so glum, Princess?
Don't you know by whom you have the honor of being killed?"

	"Well, whoop-dee-doo and la-dee-dah!" Terra growled, tugging
the torn shoulder of her dress back into place and tying it to help
maintain her modesty.

	Mary Ann said nothing, moving silently to the rear of the
crashed group, shivering as she grimly looked back at the broken,
smouldering ruins of the royal transport, along with the lifeless
bodies of the captain and his crewmen.

	"Terra," Sailor Mars whispered, putting out a hand before
limping to stand in front of the Lunar Princess. The Inner Senshi
had not taken the crash very well. Her powers had protected her a
great deal, but she still had a big gash on her neck and huge,
deep scrapes raked into one of her legs. Most of the bleeding seemed
to have been stopped, though She looked back at the princess and
said, "Stand back. I will protect you." Her blood went chill as she
recalled the Oath she had halfheartedly taken so many years back.
"With my own life, if necessary."

	The redhead pouted.

	<I don't need to be protected by HER!>

	<Uhhhhhhhhhh, yes we do! There's, like, NO usable power left
here!>

	<Ughhhhhhhh... Now I'm starting to wish I'd kept that dinky
little prism. At least it was SOMETHING!>

	<Power levels at minimum! I can barely even hold my human
body's molecules together!>

	<Well, it's not THAT bad, but I think we get the picture.>

	<Just don't take any hits and we'll be okay.>

	"It's been nice chatting," Zoicite added and signaled for
the attack to start, "but my Queen wants you dead now."

	Six of the sturdy-looking monsters began their advance. They
were almost human in their appearances, aside from the claws, the
teeth, and the odd-hued skin. Their muscular proportions just didn't
look right, either.

	*SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!* Giles quickly whipped out
his huge golden claymore and with his one working hand slashed at
those approaching.

	*CLANG!* The monsters crossed their arms in front, blocking the
magical blade with a sort of energy field.

	"Fire," Sailor Mars breathed, clasping her hands together. A
flame appeared at the end of her index fingers, "Soul!"

	The flames lashed out at the beasts and washed over them with
as little effect as if they had been tickled with a feather.

	"Where did we get such power, do you ask?" Zoicite mused. "We
have help. A great Goddess known as Metallia has deigned to lend us
Her strength for the coming battles. Even now She is ressurrecting
the finest of our slain warriors and giving them such abilities as
have never before been seen in a thousand years!" She licked her
lips. "Even the great Jadeite and Nephrite have joined us. When you
perish, you may be converted to our cause as well if you put up a
good fight!"

	"Can they do that?" Mars whispered nervously to Tranquility.

	"Perhaps," Giles admitted, bringing his blade back for another
strike. "Then we'd best not die, agreed?"

	"Right!" Mars voiced her opinion and nodded. She crossed her
arms in front of her, a ring of magical discs blurring in around her.
"Burning Mandalla!"

	Rings of concentrated flame seared the youma, but did not
seriously wound or stop them.

	"KIYAAAH!" the Lunar King slashed his sword again, managing
to sever the arm of a lizard-like beast.

	In the next second, the limb regenerated itself in a smattering
of green goo, twice as crooked and evil as it was before.

	Zoicite and the monsters laughed as the two warriors battled to
block the slashes and bites of the beasts.

	Terra picked up a chunk of bent metal and looked at it in deep
concentration. The metal glowed and dissolved until a flurry of dust
left her hand. Then, she thrust her hand out past Sailor Mars's
shoulder and sent the six attackers flying all the way back to the
General's feet, where they picked themselves up and began to run
at them again. The adopted princess let out an exhausted sigh.

	<Okay, NOW we're out of power.>

	Lord Tranquility tilted a smile at his foster child. "How are
you on magical strength?" he asked Mars.

	The raven-haired girl shook her head. "Not good. I don't think
I can defeat that many." She pointed at Zoicite and the rest, who had
all suddenly decided to attack at once. "I don't think I can even
hold them back!"

	"Nor I," said Giles, ashen-faced. "I spent nearly all of what
I had blocking the fighters' beams and keeping the landing from
killing us." He took stock of the situation and sighed bitterly.
"They who hesitate are lost. Sailor Mars, go with the others. Prepare
to use your 'Sailor Teleport'."

	"And leave everyone behind?! No, I can't do that!"

	Giles knocked aside an approaching monster with a concussive
kick which echoed across the jagged ice-laden valley. "I meant for
you to gather them around you and escape along with them."

	The Soldier of Fire's mouth opened wide in shock. "I cannot
even teleport without the aid of at least four other Senshi. How
can I possibly leave that way while also taking all of them with me?"

	Giles grimaced and grabbed the girl's arm near the shoulder.
A white glow permeated the area and Mars's long hair blew backward
in a sudden wind and she could feel her muscles tightening and
a great strength rush through her.

	Sailor Mars stood in surprise, scarcely able to draw a breath.
"You," she gasped, "you've done all--and yet--you still hide such--"

	"All of what remains of my power is now yours," Giles breathed.
"Get them out of here!"

	*CLANK!* Sparks flew off of the man's sword as he deflected a
blow from the nearest monster. He drew his blade back around to block
eight more strikes. "NOW, Sailor Mars!"

	"Everyone, gather 'round!" Mars ordered the crash's survivors.
"Hold on to me!"

	Huggyn and Kissyn each took hold of one the Senshi's
outstretched wrists. Terra grabbed hold of her shoulders. Mary Ann
took hold of the black-haired girl around the waist.

	"Come on, Daddy!" Terra called for her adoptive father.

	"He's not coming," Mars intoned, her voice vibrating with her
newly given power.

	"What do you mean he's not coming?" Terra asked, then turned
her head to see Giles Tranquility valiantly fending off the attacking
hordes with nothing but his sword and sheer determination to aid him.
"He's gotta come!"

	Giles looked back with his handsome face and mouthed, "Goodbye,"
just as Zoicite flew forward and impaled him through the heart with
her crystal sword. Staggered for but a moment, he raised his sword
to retaliate, dividing asunder four youma in a single swipe.

	Terra gasped, eyes wide. "Daddy?"

	"SAILOR," Mars said, an intense red glow burning around her.

	"DADDY!!!" Terra shouted, reaching out with an arm. Zoicite
drew her blade back and stabbed the man again.

	"TELEPORT!"

	Never before had Sailor Mars felt such a tremendous rush of
power into her body as when Giles gripped her arm and bestowed his
strength upon her.

	Never before had Sailor Mars felt such a horrific drain on
her abilities as when she, by herself, activated a Sailor Teleport,
carrying four others with her, crossing in seconds the great distance
from Earth's northern polar regions to the Moon's heavily blasted
surface.

	The last glimpse Terra caught of her adopted father was of him
being swarmed by the youma horde. As the enlarged teleportation
bubble rose out of the atmosphere, the bereaved girl spoke to herself
with a very heavy heart, something irreplaceable having been taken
from her.

	<Daddy...>

	<The only human I really, truly liked...>

	<Yes, I can feel it. His life functions have ceased.>

	<He's gone.>

	<Just like Starlight...>

	<Well, I guess that means there's nothing left here to worry
about.>

	<We need to destroy this place.>

	<Yeah, the sooner, the better. There's too many bad memories;
too much lost.>

	<We will take all the refined power from all the talismans we
can find and carve a way back to our power source. I want to get out
of here. Right now.>

	<Here here! This ain't no fun no more.>

	<Nuke 'em all and show 'em who's boss!>

	<Yeah. Nuke 'em 'till they glow!!>

	A few seconds later, the group made it to the Moon, where they
were greeted with open arms by their loved ones.

	Queen Serenity wept for days when she received the news of her
husband's death. Princess Serenity joined in with the mourning. A
memorial ball was planned for the occasion.

	"Sailor Mars, could you not have carried just one more person?"

	"I barely survived taking along all the ones I did!"

	"Of course, of course. I apologize for mentioning it..."

	Terra's demeanor changed dramatically from that point on. It
was as if she did not truly care for anyone or anything anymore.

	After all that, the end came...

###

	Ukkyo sniffed, drying her eyes with a hankerchief. "But that
shouldn't have happened! It's so sad!"

	"And had I lived, I would have avenged his death," 'Tim
spouted in a Spanish accent, his voice diminishing in volume, "I
would have gone up to the effeminate general and said, 'Hello. My
name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.'"

	"It gets worse than that," the doctor said, examining his
patient. Finally, with a sigh, he pulled the sheet over the man's
face. "You're dead, 'Tim."

	A long, black shadow hung over the bed.

	Death grinned and said, NOTHING IS CERTAIN. EXCEPT FOR ME.

&&&

The End.

Well, that's a nice spot to end the whole thing, wouldn't you think?

-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com

	"We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
	 We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
	 Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
	 Resistance is and always has been: Futile."

Collective works available at:
http://lwf58.tripod.com/fan_fiction/ben-oliver/index.html

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