Aaron E Nowack wrote:

I know I'm really being lazy on my New Year's resolution to do more C&C=

when I let PoE sit in my to-do pile for a couple days...
=20
Blah, blah, all IMNSHO disclaimer you know already.

	Thanks as always, Evil-Twin.

       Disclaimer: The primary colors in this story are from=20
Takahashi, Viz=20
(Ranma 1/2) and Pioneer (Tenchi Muyo!).

=20
Insert "primary colors" joke that my muse is failing to provide at the
moment here.

	The cyan of Ryouko's hair, the yellow of Usagi's hair, the magenta of=20
Ayeka's robes, and the black of the reaver's hides.

	//=C3=9C\\ - [Phear!]

       She couldn't see the other girl, but an accidental nudge=20

>from her=20

sent her bumping into the side of the narrow access corridor she was=20
working in, striking her hip against a bulkhead. "Ow," she mumbled,=20
looking down, but still unable to see much of the corridor where her=20
lower body was still poking out. "Be careful, will you?"

=20
I had to read this through a couple times to see the geometry of the
situation here... but it was probably just a brain fart on my part, as =

I

can't think of any better way to describe it.

	I'll have to think about this one. I was advised as to the=20
unliklihood of solder in 0-gee, so I might have to rework a lot more=20
of this scene anyway. -_-

Suggest that you change the dialogue to "Can you make sure I'm secure?"=

or "Can you see if I'm secure?".  As is just doesn't seem quite right t=

o

me. =20

	Fixed.

Shampoo:  Well, it's in the script, but I can't just go and _say_ that.=

=2E.


	Is it in the script?

       "A month," Shampoo said thoughtfully. "Rest well, Ukyou.=20
More=20
navigation training today, Akane?"

=20
You know... it is interesting how little time has actually passed in th=

is

story.   It sure seems lot a lot longer...

	HAH! Actually, chapter 1-2.5 covers about three days. 2.5-5 cover=20
another day. Chapters 6-8.1 (or so) covered one more day. Somewhere=20
in chapter 8, three days are passed in a single passage (funny how=20
that works). From about chapter 8.2 to chapter 10, one more day.

	Barely more than a week has passed in the PoE main timeline, though=20
I've conveniently declined to state how long Ranma was unconcious in=20
Washuu's lab. Haha.

	Ahem. Interpret that as you will. :)

       Short, pointless, and the second of three. Save, collect,=20
trade for=20
swell prizes!

=20
Yay!  Prizes!  ^_^

	Indeed!

	And thank you very much for the C&C. :)

           Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.geocities.com/anowack/

--=20
Brian Randall
--
I write fanfiction. Too much of it. You can read it here, thanks to=20
a kind grant from the Larry F foundation:
http://members.tripod.com/lwf58/fan_fiction/durandall/index.html
--
Haiku of my lament:

Forgive my spelling,
my U.S. education,
is the source of blame.


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