Okay, what follows has got to be one of the odder fanfics
I''ve ever done. It was something my oldest sister and I
(I have five; scary, huh?)  came up with. It starts rather
typically of any R1/2, but the rest of the story is...
rather UNtypical. Funny, but odd. It's really one big gag
story, and those of you who are true Ruroni Kenshin fans
will understand where the idea for this fic came from.
And so, without further ado:

                                Chim-Chimney

                                          a
Ranma 1/2 Anything-Goes Rooftop Crossover Extravaganza
                                         by
                      AJ Andreason and H.M.A.


  Disclaimer: Seeing as a real disclaimer for this story
would, of necessity, take up about half of the entire
  document, rest assured in that I won't waist your time and
mine by putting it here.

      The night breeze ruffled Ranma Saotome's bangs as it
skimmed over the tiles of the Tendo Dojo
  rooftop. Heaving a large sigh, he stretched his arms out
behind him and stared out at the stars. (So
  peaceful here), he thought. (If only it could always be
like this). This is one of the few places that he
  could find solitude in the torrent of chaos that was his
daily life.

      And today had been, well... Ranma-esque.

      (Let's see), he told himself silently, ticking things
off on his fingers, (jumped by Shampoo on her
  bike: check. Pounded Kuno at the school gate: check.
Attacked by Principle Kuno with a pair of
  clippers, check. Decked by Akane after refusin' ta eat her
cookin': check. Pounded Ryoga: check.
  Splashed with cold water by the scoop lady: check. Punted
-again- at Ucchan's fer bein' nice to
  her: check. Hmm... anything else I'm missin'?)

      He sighed again. At least it was always quiet up here.

      In the distance, he heard the faint roar of an
airplane as it shot across the sky. A dog barked loudly
  somewhere to the west, until it cut off abruptly with a
startled yelp. Then, an ambulance siren split the
  night a few blocks away, wailing past with the sound of
shouting and the screeching of tires. He frowned
  slightly, and shifted into a more comfortable position.
Well, it was usually quiet.

      Then, he heard the sound a foot scraping the roof
tiles.  (Huh?) He thought, his head shooting up.

      "Oro?" a voice greeted him from the shadows. Ranma
tensed as an unfamiliar figure stepped forward.
  The first thing Ranma noticed was his long, flame-red
hair, tied back into a low pony tail. He was
  wearing what looked to be a bright pink gi, and a pair of
tradition white hakama. (Well, no accountin'
  for taste,) he thought, half-amused. (He looks kinda' like
a Kuno wannabe that got lost in the
  women's fabric section.) The long handle of a sword stuck
out at his side.

      "Who the heck are you?" he demanded, rising to his
feet.

      "Ah... excuse me," the redhead asked, blinking. "Isn't
this the Aoiya Hotel?"

      Ranma stared at him. "No, this is the Tendo Dojo. I
never heard of the Aoiya."

      "Oh, pardon me, sessha, must have gotten the wrong
roof."

      "Kenshin," said a soft voice behind the man in pink,
"What's going on? Who is that?" A woman
  appeared behind him, with long, straight black hair and
dressed in a simple blue kimono.

      "Oh... I... ah..."

      "Hey, Kenshin!" said yet another voice, a young boy's.
This one's outfit was just like the first guy's,
  only his gi was a sort of dull yellow with black markings.
"What's goin' on up here?"

      "Oh, Yahiko! Well, actually, I think--"

      "Trying to leave me behind again, eh Kenshin?" a fifth
person piped in, joining them on the roof. He
  had tall, spiky brown hair, tied back with a red bandana
in a way that strangely resembled a rooster's
  comb. He wore white gi, and had his stomach bandaged.

      "Sano! What are you doing here?" the one called
Kenshin asked.

      "Ah, he probably just came hoping to get a free meal,"
the boy teased.

      "Hey!" Sano growled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

      "It means you�re a lousy, good-for-nothing,
freeloader, that's what!"

      Then the man called Sano preceded to pound Yahiko into
the ground... er, ceiling.

      "Miss Kaoru, you shouldn't be up at so late an hour."
Kenshin said over the noise.

      "Oh, come on Kenshin, I can take care of myself."

      In the background, Sano could be heard clearly as he
scuffled with the boy. "And take THAT and
  THAT and THAT! Call ME a freeloader! Why I ought a'--"

      "EXCUSE ME!" Ranma yelled over the babble, waving his
arms in the air. Everyone stopped talking
  (or being pounded) abruptly, and stared up at him.  "But
do ya think you can take this somewhere
  else?"

      The Kenshin-gumi glanced at each other, and shrugged.

      "How rude!" Kaoru muttered under her breath as they
began to walk away. The one called Kenshin
  turned back towards Ranma.

      "Gomennasai," he said, bowing, and after one harried
glance behind him, took off after his friends.

      Ranma shook his head. "What was THAT all about?"
Grumbling under his breath, he sat back down
  on the dojo roof. He was just about to settle down when he
heard the sound of running footsteps.

      Groaning, he rolled over to glance up at the source of
the noise. He jumped into a crouch, just in time
  to catch a glimpse of a boy about his height, with short,
spiky brown hair tied back samurai style, and
  dark brown eyes. Then the figure plowed into him in his
head-long flight, rocking him back on his heels.

      "Look out!" the guy yelled, pointing behind him in
fear. Ranma's eyes quickly followed in the direction
  he indicated. He instinctively shuttered as five beautiful
women came running towards them.

      "Tenchi, come back here!" yelled the spiky blue-haired
girl in the lead. Ranma did a double take.
  Was his mind playing tricks on him, or was she floating in
the air?

      "Lord Tenchi, please!" a tall, dark purple-haired
young woman added. "There is a matter which we
  must discuss in private!"

      "Teeennchiiii!" a little, blue-haired girl in
pony-tails protested with a trembling lower lip. "You said
  you'd come with meeee!"

      She was followed closely by two women who appeared to
be wearing some kind of uniform; one
  had medium-length curly blond hair, and the other had long
green tresses, so dark they were almost
  black. Tenchi dove behind Ranma, using the pig-tailed boy
as a shield against the female onslaught.

      "Hey! What the--" Ranma exclaimed. Then, the girls
surged forward, and with a despairing cry,
  Tenchi dove off the roof, rolled on the ground, and ran
for dear life. His entourage gave chase, shouting
  protests at his retreating form. Well, Ranma knew how THAT
goes. He felt kind of sorry for that guy.

      By this time, though, Ranma was feeling more than a
bit dazed. Where the hell were all these people
  coming from?

      "Excuse me," a distinctly familiar voice said behind
him, "but could you direct me to the Tendo
  Dojo?"

      Ranma whirled around to see Ryoga standing on the
other side of the roof, his head bent over a map,
  and a look of deep concentration on his face.

      Ranma groaned. "Your -standing on it-, you moron!"

      "Ranma?" Ryoga breathed, looking up. He began to
tremble in anticipation. "At last, I found you!
  RANMA SAOTOME, PREPARE TO--YAA-AH-AH!"

      Ryoga cut off abruptly as he slipped on a loose tile,
fell off the roof, and (inevitably) landed right in
  the koi pond below with a terrific splash. An angry P-Chan
burst out of the water, and promptly ran in
  the opposite direction of the dojo. Ranma sighed. At least
that was normal. Well, normal for him.

      Suddenly, the scrape of a ladder alerted him to
another presence, and he tensed, sure it was going to
  be some moron that was either lost or wanted to kill
him--or both; the lost part just seemed to be a
  prerequisite. He sighed with relief as Akane slipped into
view, irritation and worry warring each other in
  her eyes.
      "Ranma!" she growled, climbing onto the roof. "What's
going on up here! I was trying to do my
  homework! It sounded like a herd of elephants was roaming
around up here!"

      "Yeah, right!" Ranma snorted, cocking his head. "There
might as well be."

      Suddenly, the air turned cold. Hmm... that hadn't come
out quite right.

      "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

       "Er... Wait! That ain't what I meant! I only--"

      Akane's aura flared an angry blue. "RANMA NO BAKA!"
She drew one of Ryoga's umbrellas
  seemingly from nowhere. (Ooh, this could hurt.) Ranma told
himself silently, and began to back away.

      "Oh, I see," Nabiki said suddenly from the top of the
ladder, an amused smile on her lips. "Another
  Ranma and Akane moment."

      Akane froze mid-swing, and she and Ranma turned to
face the infamous picture-happy middle Tendo
  girl.

      "What are YOU doin' up here?" Ranma asked
suspiciously.

      "Oh, just curious, that's all," she replied coolly,
climbing up to join them. "My room's right below
  where your standing, and I've been hear all sorts of
voices and pounding noises, so I was wondering if
  you two were finally getting it on."

      "NABIKI!" Ranma and Akane shouted, going scarlet.

      "YATTA!" the ladder chorused, and the three of them
turned to see Soun Tendo and Genma
  Saotome grouching at the base of the roof, managing to
dance in a circle while balanced perilously
  between the lowest shingles and the top stud on the
ladder.

      "Oh, my beautiful Akane is now truly a woman!" Soun
wept.

      "Yes, Tendo! Ranma has finally fulfilled his duties!
The schools will be united forever!"

      "Indeed, Saotome! It's time to celebrate!"

      "Excellent idea, Tendo!"

      "DAD!" Akane screamed in protest. "I didn't--I mean,
we didn't--I mean... "

      "We ain't done nothin', Pops!" Ranma said angrily. "I
was the only one up here in the first place, and
  all these weirdoes just started showin' up, and--"

      "Ah... excuse me?" a voice broke in, and Ranma
groaned. (Not again!)

      They turned to see a pair of teenage boys standing off
to the side. One was a really skinny kid
  wearing a plain green tank top, and had a short shot of
thick light-brown hair over his eyes, which were
  oddly fierce looking. The other wore a pair of black
slacks and a black shirt with white lining, and had a
  long, dark-brown braid going down his back.

      "Ah... yes?" Tendo said carefully, stepping forward.
"May I help you?"

      "Um, yeah, ah..." the one with the braid spoke up, "We
were just wondering if you guys have seen
  any, uh, er... What I mean to say is--"

      "Get on with it, Duo," the other one cut in, his voice
hard and cold. "We can't sit around wasting
  time."

      Duo turned on him. "Oh, yeah? What am I supposed to
say, Heero? 'Say, you haven't seen any giant
  robots roaming around here recently, have you?'"

      "That�s your problem, not mine."

      "Gee, thanks for the backup, man."

      "Sorry," Ranma told them, "But I think we would have
noticed something like giant--"

      "Hey! This doesn't look like the new planet Namek to
me!"

      Eight people whipped around to stare at the latest
addition to the rooftop. Ranma's jaw hit the roof
  with a distinctive crash. It was a man of about middle
height, but his thickly wadded, spiky golden hair
  gave him about another six inches or so. He had
bright-green, pupiless eyes that were clearly visible
  even in this light, and he wore a orange and white colored
jacket with matching pants that sort of jarred
  at the eye. But that's not why Ranma was so shocked--well,
that was only part of the reason he was
  shocked.

      It was his chi. It was... it was... Ranma's inner mind
struggled to describe it. Impossible, stupendous,
  earth-shattering, amazing, astounding, and beyond belief
just didn't cut it. If Ranma was to compare his
  power to this guy's, his would be a grain of sand, and
this guys would be the whole freakin' planet, and
  everything in it. And only that if Ranma used his Mokou
Takabisha at full power. He made Saffron look
  like a total pipsqueek.

      The spiky-haired man ducked his head slightly in
embarrassment. "Well, sorry to bother you," he
  said, scratching his head. He put two fingers to his
forehead, and a look of deep concentration came
  over his face. Then, with a blur and a rush of wind, he
was gone.

      A moment of absolute silence followed. With some
difficulty, Ranma re-cocked his jaw. "T-That�
  that was... " he stuttered.

      "Goku... " Akane finished in a hushed whisper.

      Suddenly, everybody started talking at once. Pops and
Mr. Tendo broke into an argument as to
  whether what they just saw had been real, or if Akane had
been doing the cooking in secret again.
  Akane shouted angrily at them and began making threatening
gestures with the umbrella, which the two
  took quite seriously. Nabiki had for some reason whipped
out her camera, and now was taking rapid
  pictures of the two visitors still on the roof, all the
time muttering something that sounded like "Gundam
  Wing", or maybe "Godem Weng".

      Duo threw his hands up in disgust, and Heero rolled
his eyes. Together, they hopped off the rooftop
  and onto the dojo grounds, arguing about the merits of
having a certified psychologist in suburban
  neighborhoods. Ranma was beginning to think leaving was
the right idea, and so he slowly began to
  edge toward the side of the tiles.

      It was just at that moment that Shampoo chose to come
flying out of the night and clomp onto him.

      "Nihao, Ranma! What going on?"

      "Yes indeed," Cologne said grinning, hopping onto the
roof atop her staff. "You didn't tell us there
  was going to be a rooftop party this evening, son-in-law.
I could have brought refreshments!"

      "Shampoo! Get offa' me! Something weird's going on,
and I--"

      "Hey, Ranchan! What's going on up there?" An instant
later, Ukyo leapt up onto the roof. Her eyes
  darted everywhere, but they only really took in one part
of the scene.

      "Hey, you!" She growled, grabbing a hold of Ranma and
pushing herself between him and Shampoo.
  "Get your hands off my fianc�!"

      "Ranma -Shampoo's- airen, Spatula Girl! You no have
him!"

      "Oh, yeah?!"

      "Yeah!"

      They began to tug at him, each trying to get him away
from the other and glomp onto him. He reeled
  back and forth, trying to regain control of the situation,
but he couldn't seem to process it fast enough.
  But, he still had the presence of mind to glance Akane's
way. She lit up the night like a giant blue street
  lamp.

      "Grrrrr�"

      Then, there was a clamor as more people came up on the
roof. They looked distinctly familiar. Ukyo
  and Shampoo were so surprised, Ranma slipped out of their
grip without them even noticing.

      "Ah, no!" Yahiko groaned. "Not -this- place again!"

      "What are -you guys- doing back here?" Ranma asked
incredulously.

      "We asked some fang-toothed kid with a black and
yellow bandana for directions." Sano replied
  sourly.

      "Figures. The only place in the world he wants ta' get
to, and he immediately tells people who don't
  want to go there exactly where it is." Ranma squinted at
the sudden flashing light, and wondered briefly
  why Nabiki was taking so many pictures.

      "Oh, no!" Sano yelped, leaping back and covering his
eyes. "She's trying to steal our souls!"

      "Oh, shut up, Sanosuke!" Kaoru snapped. "That's just a
stupid superstition!"

      "Is not!"

      "Is too!"

      "Is -not!-"

      "IS TOO!" She wacked him over the head with a bokutou
for emphasis. Which broke, but left a
  large bump in it's place.

      Now, the roof was a loud babble of voices, everyone
having conversations at the same time. Akane
  was talking raptly with the guy in the pink gi, (she was
an avid Ruroni Kenshin fan, now that Ranma
  thought about it) Soun was weeping his eyes out at so much
company (which is a stupid reason to cry,
  really, but it didn't take much to set him off) and Nabiki
busy getting out her video camera, determined
  to have as much proof of this as possible. Ranma just
stood there in stunned silence, his eyes wide at all
  the things going on around him.

      Nobody really noticed when a class of school girls
began to wander through on a guided tour,
  pointing and giggling at the spectacle of the assorted
people.

      "And now," the teacher announced, "We are passing over
the infamous Tendo Dojo, home of... " As
  the man droned on, one of the girls in the crowd, who
looked remarkable like Ranma's girl side with her
  long red hair braided down her back, cried out excitedly.

      "Look!" she exclaimed, bouncing on her toes. "It Ranma
Saotome!"

      One of the girls standing next to her, with
waist-length blue hair, smirked. "Nice butt," she muttered.

      "Umi!" a third murmured, blushing and putting a hand
over her mouth. Her bright green eyes studied
  Ranma behind large round glasses as the group continued
across the roof, talking and giggling amongst
  themselves.

      "Ahuh... huha..." Ranma panicked quietly. (This can't
get much worse... can it?) Ranma began to
  edge toward the side of the roof again.

      As if to answer his thought, a figure alighted on the
top of the roof, causing most of the current
  inhabitance to turn towards her in surprise. Tossing her
waist-length dark green hair and clutching a tall
  staff, she began to glare about her. "So, -this- is the
source of the disturbance."

      "Alright, you!" a shrill voice came out of the night,
"Hold it right there!" Everyone paused as five girls
  dressing similarly to the first, (in Sailor uniforms with
different colored fukus and elbow-length gloves)
  landed in a circle around them on the edges of the roof.

      One with long blond hair, tied up in a fashion that
immediately reminded Ranma of spaghetti and
  meatballs, began to twirl her arms about, saying "We stand
for love and justice! In the name of the
  Moon, we shall punish you!"

      The was a brief moment of absolute silence, broken
only the by the sound of crickets in the bushes.
  Abruptly, snickering broke out among the unusual crowd.

      "Alright!" Sano shouted, cocking his head and staring
at all the leg now flashing in the moonlight. "You
  punish me all you want, baby!"

      Ranma turned his gaze away, and glanced nervously at
Akane, who was just dusting her hands off
  from hammering Sanosuke into the roof tiles.

      "Even -I- wouldn't wear a skirt that short," Nabiki
muttered.

      "Young ladies," Tendo admonished them, smoothing his
mustache in disapproval, "Do your parents
  know that you're still out this time night?"

      The Scouts blinked in surprise, and Sailor Moon began
to sputter.

      "Who do you think your talking to?" Mars snapped.
"We're the Sailor Scouts, and--"

      "What a haul! What a -haul!-" Happosai leapt into
view, his usual bag of panties slung over one
  shoulder. The old freak took one look around, and his eyes
went the size of dinner plates when they
  discovered the nearby Sailor Senshi.

      "Ooo! What pretties!" he crooned, and leapt for the
nearest fuku. Which, unlucky for him, happened
  to be Sailor Mars.

      There was a brilliant red flash, and what was left the
of the lecher fell smoking to the rooftop, his eyes
  wide and swirling.

      "Whoa!" Duo exclaimed, poking his head back into view
over the edge of the roof. Ranma watched
  as he and Heero climbed up to join them. "The party got up
here got a whole lot better while we were
  gone!"

      "WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?!!"

      There was a collective sigh as they as they turned to
see Ryoga Hibiki banging his head against the
  peak of the roof.

      (Hey!) Jupiter thought, looking at the Lost Boy more
closely. (He looks just like my old sempai�)

      "Amazin'," Ranma muttered to himself, "He actually
found the same place twice in the same night."

      Ryoga's head shot up. "Ranmaaa�" he growled.

      He didn't get much further, because the air above him
began to shimmer. Then, something landed on
  his head.

      "Oops... did it again."

      Ranma goggled as, once again, Goku stood among them.
The blond scratched his head, giggling
  nervously. There was a muffled groan beneath him.

      "Get the HELL offa me!"

      Goku started slightly, and stepped off of the crumpled
Ryoga. "Whoa! Sorry about that. I didn't see
  you there!" He reached down to help bandana-boy to his
feet.

      Knocking the hand away, Ryoga looked up and spat "What
in the heck did you thing you were
  doing, you... " Ryoga took a good look at the face before
him. It was a very familiar face. It was face
  that belonged on T-shirts. Posters. Magazines. Games. He
even had that face in several stickers in a
  book in his backpack. He made a faint squeaking sound as
his brain overloaded, and passed out.

      "Hey," Goku asked, looking concerned. "What the matter
with him?"

      Several people opened their mouths as if to answer,
but a voice saved them from an awkward reply.
  Kasumi had appeared in the midst of it all, carrying an
absolutely huge tray of eats. "Oh, my! Is anyone
  hungry up here?" she asked cheerfully. "I've brought some
snacks, if you would like them."

      Goku, Sanosuke, and Yahiko were at her side instantly.
"Food?!" they chorused, licking their lips.
  She smiled demurely. "Help yourselves!"

      "YES!" Goku shouted, and the three of them sat down
cross-legged, and as one began to devour the
  upper-level Kasumi feast.

      "Arigato!" Sano managed through a mouthful, and Goku
and Yahiko nodded in agreement, there
  faces too full to even get out a thank you of their own.
Sailor Moon also came squirming in beside them,
  filling her cheeks to chipmunk capacity.

      "Oh, boy!" she squealed, "I love food!" Genma also
tried to elbow his way in, but almost immediately
  got a splash of cold water from Sanosuke's sloshing cup.
Mr. Panda was firmly shoved to one side.

      A sigh shot up. [Hey! Wait a minute!] *flip* [I'm
hungry, too!]

      A shriek was barely heard above the loud chewing and
slurping as Tenchi ran back up on to the roof.
  He looked about in desperation for a moment, and then
dived, huddling, behind Mr. Panda. His
  entourage soon followed, Ryoko and Aeka calling his name.

      They began to look at the crowd in interest. "Hey,
good-lookin," Ryoko said, sliding up to Duo.
  "What's going on here?"

      "Boy, standing room only up here," Sano said, chewing
thoughtfully.

      Nabiki wondered over to Kenshin. "So, what are you
doing around here?" she asked curiously.

      "Oh, pardon. I was just looking for some friends I was
supposed to meet, that I was."

      "Oh, this old thing?" Aeka said, smoothing the corners
of her dress.

      "Yes!" Venus replied enthusiastically. "Where did get
it?"

      "Well..."

       "Hey, are you alright?" Jupiter asked Ryoga, scooping
his head up off the roof and nestling it in her
  lap. Ryoga stirred, and opened his eyes, blinking. He
looked straight up, and after a brief nose bleed,
  passed out again.

      As the rooftop crowd continued to mingle, Akane
looking around in wonder. (Boy,) she thought,
  (There sure is a lot of weird people up here. Hey, wait a
minute. Where's Ranma?)

      Meanwhile, inside the dojo, underneath the kitchen
table, Ranma sighed with relief. "Alone at last."

      Above the muffled sounds of footfalls above him, he
began to hear a soft, creaking, grinding noise.
  The sound began to increase rapidly in volume, until he
heard the loud snap of the ceiling's main support
  beam.

      "Oh -no!-" was all Ranma could say, his eyes going
wide. Then, the whole world came crashing
  down on him. What was once the Tendo living room was now
an impressive pile of rubble and bodies,
  the like of which had only been seen after an air raid
bombing in WWII.

      From the bottom of the heap came a muffled cry. "-I
hate my life!-"


  <Authors' Notes:

   For those of your that think the dojo might have
collapsed too easily, we remind you that the dojo has
  been damaged many, many times by various martial artists
being punted through the roof, or smashing
  through the walls, or Happosai's fire crackers, or other
bombs, or evil sprits or... you get the idea.
  Though it's obviously been repaired from time to time, the
still could have been some definite structural
  weakening from these events.(j/k)^_^
  Sorry it started out so typically, but the ending was fun,
wasn't it? Anyway, flame season is open. Start
  your torches!
  AJ Andreason andreasona@qwest.net>


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