Yeah, it's been a long time in coming; however, it's here now. Non-beta'ed=
=20
at ALL... And I really would like suggestions, especially on the last bits=
=20
where Houjun finally goes over the emotional edge and begins a long, hard=20
purging process. The dialogue/tenses didn't come out right to me.

As a note, this story is Yaoi; male/male sexual situations, though there's=
=20
not a drop of lemon fresh goodness in this chapter, so you're safe.



Love Lies Bleeding

Memories are just where you laid them,
dragging waters 'til the depths give up their dead.
What did you expect to find?
Was it something you left behind?
Don't you remember everything I said when I said:

Don't fall away, and leave me to myself.
Don't fall away, and leave love bleeding in my hands,
in my hands again;
leave love bleeding in my hands.
In my hands,
love lies bleeding.


'Hemorrhage (Love Lies Bleeding)',  Fuel



Chapter 6

The demon did not return until two days later. That had been enough time to=
=20
make his point, and to vent his rage in the service of his Lord. Tenkou,=20
the great Lord of Hell, had demanded the river of the Rising Dragon rise=20
and burst past it=92s banks, and Hikou had obeyed. It had felt good, to=
 pound=20
the earth with rain and hate and release his frustration against his=20
one-time lover.

As the sun crested on the third day it found Hikou, wings folded against=20
his back and perched in a tree, calmer for his brief period of mass=20
destruction. He had positioned himself just so not but an hour before the=20
sun began its trek into the sky, to watch the day at the fortress begin.

The sun rose from behind the great fort--it=92s gateway faced the east, the=
=20
direction of the God of War, Seiryuu the azure dragon. It indicated that=20
this was indeed a warrior=92s fort, and that they welcomed conflict.

They seemed ready for it as well. As dawn came, guards changed. And who=20
came out to =01=91supervise=92, but the bandit-leader himself, flanked by=
 his=20
ever-present =01=91buddy=92, Kouji. The sun kissed the red-haired bandit=92s=
 wild=20
mane and spangled it with streaks of gold, and Hikou, for a moment, thought=
=20
him a little more then just a dirty, filthy robber posing as a shichiseishi.

The impression fled the moment Tasuki opened his big mouth.

=93This is gettin=92 to be too much,=94 Tasuki said to Kouji, as they=
 watched the=20
other killers and cut-purses move to their positions.

=93You really aren=92t just gonna let him go, are ya, boss?=94 Kouji=
 queried,=20
even as he took up a lean against the wall.

Tasuki frowned, refraining to answer as his men positioned themselves. Once=
=20
they were finished and he was satisfied, he turned back to his cohort and=20
replied, =93You know Chichiri, Kouji. Once he gets some crazy idea in his=20
head, he goes with it. For the =01=91greater good=92 or some other fuckin=92=
 load=20
of horse shit.=94

=93But he=92s in no condition t=92 travel, Genrou,=94 the blue-haired bandit=
 added,=20
called Tasuki by the nickname he had borne since he had joined the Leikauku=
=20
clan.

=93I know. But do you want t=92 sit on him and try and make him stay?=94=
 Tasuki=20
snorted.

The other bandit shook his head. =93No. That=92s your job, ne?=94 Kouji=92s=
 smirk=20
was friendly enough. =93Besides, I think this has somethin=92 to do with=
 that=20
damn thing that walked outta here.

I=92m a thing, am I,  Hikou chuckled inwardly, but made no sound. He wanted=
=20
to hear the bandit=92s banter.

=93No shit!=94 Tasuki all but blurted. =93That sorry, soggy fuck! This is=
 all his=20
fault!=94 A fist was lifted, and pounded into the bandit=92s callused palm.=
 =93He=20
did something to Chichiri! I=92m sure of it!=94

If they only knew, Hikou mused, as he finally slipped from his perch at the=
=20
tree. Deciding against making a grand entrance, if just to prevent there=20
being an outright attack upon his person, he decided on the upfront=20
approach: he simply stepped out of the shadows cast by the trees and began=
=20
to walk up the path toward the great gates of the fortress.

Kouji was the first to notice him; he looked up sharply, his brown eyes=20
widening at the brazen demon coming up the walkway toward the gates.

=93Genrou!=94 he said sharply, before elbowing the red-head in the side.

The motion was enough to get Tasuki=92s attention, and it found the water=20
demon with wide eyes, which rapidly narrowed to venomous slits.

=93What the fuck are you doin=92, comin=92 back here?=94 Tasuki demanded.=
 =93This is=20
a holy mountain, you fuckin=92 shit!=94

=93I have come for Houjun,=94 was Hikou=92s simple answer, and he enjoyed=
 the way=20
it seemed to gall the bandituntil it seemed that it wasn=92t gall, but=
 confusion.

=93Who the hell is Houjun?=94 Tasuki growled.

=93I think he means Chichiri!=94 Kouji suggested helpfully.

Tasuki paused a moment, and then blurted, =93I knew that!=94

Both Hikou and Kouji favored the seishi with a long look with the same=20
expression as they sweatbeaded slightly: Sure you did.

But before either Tasuki could rant, or Hikou could sneer, Kouji=20
interrupted the staring with a question: =93Just what do you want with=20
Chichiri, anyway?=94

Tasuki was quick to leap on this with a rousing, =93Yeah! You=92re a demon!=
=20
He=92s a monk!

The bandit paused, and the eyed Kouji a moment. =93Still.=94

Tasuki paused again, and this time eyed Hikou. =93I think.=94

Hikou sighed softly, and opened his mouth to speak, only to be interupted=20
by the opening of a door in the great gates to the fortess, and the man=20
they were just arguing about stepped into the middle of their argument.

Three sets of eyes turned to the monk as he stood there, blinking at the=20
collection of people on the doorstep of the lair of the bandits. Faced with=
=20
the tension already in the air, the monk stopped in midstep, remaining in=20
the door way within the gates and simply stared at the three men staring at=
=20
him in turn.

=93Ohayo!=94 Chichiri finally greeted the group with a heavy dose of false=
=20
cheer. He smiled slightly, only to have the expression wiped right off his=
=20
face when Tasuki planted himself firmly before his brother seishi.

=93Just what the fuck do you think you=92re doin=92?!=94 Tasuki began his=20
interrogation. =93You=92re beat to shit an=92 you think you=92re just gonna=
 walk=20
outta here, like this?! You can=92t even hold your staff in the right hand!=
=94

=93I have a promise to keep, no da.=94  His gaze flickered briefly to Hikou=
=20
before returnng to Tasuki. =93I have been delayed two weeks already, and I=
 am=20
expected, no da. They=92ll worry about me, no da. I don=92t want any body to=
=20
fret, na no da!=94

Hikou watched with detatched interest as Tasuki=92s brows furrowed and the=
=20
two men engaged in a brief, intense face offuntil the fist was swung.

All eyes widened as Houjun abruptly doubled over with a woof of breath,=20
curling over Tasuki=92s fist that had contacted solidly with his bruised=20
stomach. He choked and gagged once, but wasn=92t given any time to really=20
catch his breath as Tasuki plucked him up in his arms, cradled him against=
=20
his body like he might a child, and carefully began to take him inside.

The urge to simply fill the red-haired seishi=92s lungs with water and make=
=20
them burst was suddenly in his heart, choking off his reason, until he=20
realized Kouji was speaking to him.

=93Genrou=92s just doin=92 what=92s best, so don=92t get your trousers in a=
 twist!=94=20
came the harsh reprove from the bandit for the glare of death that was=20
still boring into Tasuki=92s back. =93Chichiri would probably get his fool=
 self=20
killed if he went out like he is now! So why don=92t we all just go inside,=
=20
be real nice for a little while, and sit on him till he recuperates, an=92=
=20
then you and him can go your merry way?=94

A moment passed between the two men, before Hikou finally nodded, stepping=
=20
into the doorway behind the scarred bandit. They moved to catch up to=20
Tasuki, who was headed for the door with the kanji for =01=91sho=92 on the=
=20
doorway. He kicked the door open and strode in with the collapsed monk, and=
=20
then laid him gently across his bed.

Houjun struggled to breath, coughing harshly as he promptly tried to curl=20
in a fetal ball against the pain and found that cracked ribs did not agree=
=20
with that course of action.

Tasuki whirled ot find himself face to face with Hikou.

He hollared once, and then demanded, =93Who the hell let you in!?=94 A=
 moment=20
later, the only possible answer came to him, and he bellowed out, =93Kouji!=
=20
I=92m gonna feed ya yer boots! You stupid fuck!=94

Kouji was safely behind the demon and outside the room, so the threat was=20
rather moot.

However, Tasuki was not through. He glared at Hikou for a long moment,=20
before he began to give orders.

=93You=92re gonna make sure he=92ll stay put!=94 he says. =93You stay here=
 with him,=20
till he=92s well! An=92 I don=92t wanna see you anywhere else but THIS=
 ROOM!=94

Hikou=92s hands lifted in mock submission, and he obeyed simply to spite the=
=20
tempermental seishi. Tasuki experted him to disobey. He decided that=20
obedience would make him all the more upset.

=93No problem,=94 Hikou said.

Tasuki deflated slightly. Hikou had not given him defiance, and acceptance=
=20
was not something he had been prepared to deal with. And so instead, he=20
simply pushed his way past the demon.

Kouji and Tasuki departed, leaving Hikou with the gasping monk. Finally=20
entering the room fully, Hikou shut the door behind him, and then moved=20
toward the bed, his robes whispering slightly around his steps.

Houjun was not one to stay down long, he noted, as the monk curled his=20
broken arm around his belly and tried to push himself up on his good one.=20
The limb trembled with the strain visibly, stirring the rough linen of his=
=20
sleeve.

Hikou couldn=92t stand there any longer. He reaches out to help him sit up,=
=20
Houjun never protesting once.

Once Houjun had a pillow behind his back and was upright, he looked up at=20
Hikou, his single eye seeming to weigh his options. On one hand, he was=20
terribly wounded. On the other he had to get to Kutou.

As he watched him make these choices, Hikou could not simply stand by and=20
allow him to think that he=92d be allowed to go anywhere in his condition.=
 He=20
was broken and bruised, and Hikou was going to put a stop to this right=20
now. He would heal. That=92s why the demon had brought him here.

=93Don=92t even thnk about it,=94 Hikou=92s voice was firm, and it crushed=
 both=20
Houjun=92s hopeful expression and any thoughts of leaving.

=93Who made you my mother?=94 Houjun asked with a sliver of irritablity=
 worming=20
it=92s way into his tone.

Hikou=92s brow quirked, but he gave no answer, simply folding his arms over=
=20
his chest. He watched his brother-turned-lover=92s expression for a long=20
moment; the lines of his face were more pronounced, and there were bags=20
beneath his good eye.

=93Have you been sleeping poorly?=94 Hikou asked, his tone betraying no=
 concern.

=93Yes,=94 Houjun said flatly, turning his face from Hikou.

=93You know,=94 Houjun said after a moment=92s silence, =93I wish I=92d=
 never thrown=20
that mask away.=94 Ignoring the way Hikou=92s brow arched or the briefly=20
curiously glance the demon gave, Houjun continued, =93Then none of you would=
=20
know, and I wouldn=92t have to deal with this false concern.=94

=93Ah,=94 said Hikou. =93This is what it is. May I remind you, however, that=
 no=20
one took that mask from you. I didn=92t even take it from your at the=20
riverside. You took it over, to look at me with your true face. You only=20
put it on again to face your seishi brother. I never forced your hand with=
 it.=94

Houjun said nothing in reply.

Hikou moved quietly before him, before kneeling before his bed with a=20
rustle of cloth, his amber eyes glittering as they searched the monk=92s=20
expression.

=93Is that what you think?=94 Hikou asked, after a moment. =93That we don=92=
t care?=94

Houjun said nothing for a long moment, but once the agonizing seconds had=20
dragged out he replied, =93What am I supposed to think? I don=92t know what=
=20
we=92re doing, what=92s going on, or even why we=92re here together like=
 this!=94

Cool hands, oddly feminine in their slenderness and delicacy, reached out=20
to cup Houjun=92s face, gripping his chin and forcing him to look at Hikou.=
=20
The demon held his face in his hands steadily, and brought his gaze to=20
Houjun=92s. His experssion was that of dire seriousness, as if he were about=
=20
to impart some great secret.

=93I think you want me not to care,=94 Hikou said, his voice low. =93I think=
 you=20
would rather I used you. Then it can mean nothing, and you can be a victim,=
=20
and go on pretending that there was nothing between us other then what I=20
wanted from you.=94 The demon=92s hands tightened, tremor running down his=
 arms=20
as he continued, =93That isn=92t so. That isn=92t it at all.=94

=93If you=92re not using me,=94 Houjun asked as an edge entered in his tone,=
=20
=93just what do you want from me?=94

Surprised, Hikou blinked. He hadn=92t considered his desires, truly, in=
 this.=20
What did he want from the man before him, who=92s face he cupped in his=20
hands? His mouth opened, closed, and he seemed lost for a moment, searching=
=20
for an answer.

=93I don=92t know,=94 Hikou finally answered. =93No. I do. I... I want you=
 to let=20
it go, Houjun..=94

The monk=92s single eye blink rapidly, as noncomprehension writ itself=
 across=20
his scarred features.

=93Let it go?=94 Houjun asked. =93What do you mean, =01=91let it go=92?=94

=93This!=94 Hikou released Houjun=92s face, only to wave impatiently as his=
 face,=20
his scars. =93All of it. The pentience and the guilt and suffering and the=
=20
pain...=94 The demon took a deep breath, and looked at the monk intently. =
=93I=20
want you to let it go.=94

Silence reigned between them, as Houjun visbily wrestled with this concept=
=20
for a moment. His gaze flickered over Hikou=92s intense visage, and then to=
=20
where his prayer beads lay on his night stand, and then to where the mask=20
had been thrown.

=93But why?=94 Houjun finally blurted. =93I don=92t understand! My sin=
 against you=20
gives you anything you ask of me! My blood, my life, my flesh, whatever it=
=20
is, it=92s yours! But you want=85 want me to let go of my pain?=94

=93Yes!=94 Hikou answered explosively, hands flying up with a flutter of=20
billowing sleeves. =93Yes,=94 he said more gently. =93Let it go. I want you=
 to=20
let it go. None of this shit, poisoning you, anymore. And maybe, just=20
maybe... if you can find peace, then I can to.=94

Houjun stared at him for a moment; Hikou could detect the slightest of=20
trembling that took him as he watched the man. But before he could answer=20
Hikou, the demon was speaking again.

=93For a long time, I hated you. I plotted and I planned, Houjun, I did. And=
=20
then, when I finally got to you, I... all my plans, they all fell to dust.=
=20
I don=92t think I know what I=92m doing anymore.=94 Suddenly sheepish, Hikou=
=20
reached up to scratch at the back of his neck, looking away. =93I don=92t=
 think=20
you do either. But I could be wrong.=94

Houjun=92s head drooped, and he was silent still, taking in Hikou=92s words.=
 He=20
remained there, simply trembling until he found his voice again.

Then, the words could not be stopped.

"I tried," he said softly, "For so long... to deal with it. It ..." He=20
paused, and took a breath, before exhaling it in a rush. "Everything was=20
gone. The monks that found me took me in. They never asked questions, they=
=20
accepted me unconditionally. Taught me things... about... about serving=20
one's dharma and finding peace. But they knew I was restless, and couldn't=
=20
be bound to a temple. So they let me wander. And that gave me nothing,=20
either. This ... Nirvana was still unreachable. I couldn't get it with both=
=20
hands!=81h Couldn't let anything go. And I don't... I just..."

Houjun took another moment to gather his thoughts, before saying, "I became=
=20
a monk to find peace. To find some salvation, cleanse myself of sin. I=20
thought, if I dedicated myself to my vocation. If I did well, I could find=
=20
some peace. And it never happened. It wasn't until...=94 He swallowed hard,=
=20
and then coughed once, now bordering on hiccuping sobs.

Hikou finally moved from from before the monk, till he could get up on the=
=20
bed, and sit beside him; he did not speak or move to close. He simply=20
allowed himself to be a physical presence. Houjun was purging himself to=20
the person Hikou thought mattered most in this case: The man he had done=20
wrong. He would be further damned if he did not listen.

=93I found some solace with Miaka-sama,=94 Houjun finally said, once he=
 could=20
continue =93It was something... I didn't want to be a seishi, at first, but=
=20
then I realized it was my only chance to do something right. And so much=20
was on a group of eight people. The fate of nations!" He laughed once,=20
strangled, high-pitched, and unnatural. "And most of them were just kids.=20
And they all died. All but Tasuki and Tamahome, and /he/ went to be with=20
Miaka."

Houjun stopped, and shook his head and sighed out, =93We saved the world,=20
Hikou.=94 His gaze finally lifted to the demon=92s visage, tracing his=20
impassive features. =93But through it all, you were never far. Your ghost=
 was=20
just behind me, and K-K..." he cannot finish Her name, it seemed. =93You=
 were=20
always with me. Reminding me of why I was doing this. Oh, gods, you may be=
=20
a demon now, Hikou, but you were a spectre to me long before I saw you at=20
the riverside.=94

=93I know,=94 Hikou acknowledged, reaching out slowly. His touch was=
 hesitant,=20
but he wanted to draw the monk into his arms. Fortunately, Houjun did not=20
resist his embrace, but slowly leaned against is shoulder, his sobs=20
quieting slightly.

"We won, Hikou,=94 Houjun murmured softyly, once he was in the shitenou=92s=
=20
arms. =93In the end we did what we were supposed to do... And we have=
 nothing=20
to show for it. Four dead young men. A kingdom with a child-emperor and a=20
silent dowager empress. Eiyou is a City of the Dead. War ravaged=20
countrysides... one frustrated bandit who's scared to death he's going to=20
be alone... and me. And I have no idea what to do, and... and my dharma as=
=20
a seishi was fulfilled. So... if I did what I was supposed to, why am I not=
=20
yet at peace?"

It took him this long to answer Hikou=92s question. A rambling diatribe that=
=20
only made sense once he began to say, "I spent all this time grieving for=20
you, punishing myself for my sins... and now, here you are, and you... you=
=20
want me to let it all go. Finally... let it go." He reached up, brushing=20
his hand through his short hair. "And I don't know how I can accept that,=20
or what it means, or...what I would do. Everything has been for penance.=20
Everything." He blinks dimly, dark eye searching the sheepish demon's face,=
=20
as if he might find hidden meaning there. "And... I... I don't know what=20
I'm supposed to do. Everything was laid out for me for so long... as a=20
monk, as a seishi... the idea of just doing something because I wan to is=20
foreign.=94

Houjun looked up at Hikou, his burgundy eye bloodshot from his harsh tears,=
=20
=93What do I do now?"

The demon sighed softly against Houjun=92s short hair, and then murmured,=20
=93Let it go, Houjun. Find a new path. I know you can do it.=94

Houjun had no immediate answer; he simply leaned against his one-time lover=
=20
and closed his eyes.

=93I=92m so tired, Hikou... But if I let it go, what will anchor me?=94 he=
 asked=20
softly.

=93I will,=94 the demon answered, and it seemed to satisfy them both for the=
=20
time being.


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