KaraOhki wrote:
This chapter has not only been revised, but more material
has been added to it.
My thanks to eveyone who sent C&C, and assisted in the
editing process.
Only one thing leapt out at me this time.
Travels, Training and Trials
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic by June "KaraOhki" Geraci
karaohki@snet.net
January 2, 2002
Revised January 21, 2002
Before entering the bathing room, Akane took a
detour to the guest room. As she had suspected, her
bed was there. It wasn't made up, but it would only
take a moment to get sheets and blankets from the
linen closet. Then Akane wouldn't have to go
upstairs, but would be able to sleep in the bed that
had been hers since she was four years old. She
stared at it for a few seconds more, quietly slid
the door shut, and headed for the bath. She
couldn't decide what to do
Missing punctuation at the end of this sentence?
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http://karaohki.anifics.com
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You could turn this way,
I'm also lonely
this autumn evening
Basho
Other than that, I would consider this an improvement on the previous
draft. :)