I really didn't catch any errors to speak of, either because there
weren't any to find, I was too involved to notice, or most likely
a combination of the two.

| While all others than the driver were asleep, two remained awake, 

Very confusing wording here, 

   While most other than the driver were asleep, 

would work better in my opinion.

| Ranma tapped at the gem on her ear, smiling softly. "Don't need it," 
| she said. "And something tells me I can't use it anyway. Keep it, if 
| you think it'll help. It let you make that barrier, right?"
| 
| The girl nodded, frowning. "I... I think I did... but I needed your 
| help to make it into a white wall... then it was easy to leave it 
| that way."
| 
| Mamoru raised an eyebrow, commenting, "Do we really need a 
| replacement for the Ginzoshou? Aren't we trying to change things?"
| 
| "That's true," Usagi admitted. "You should hang onto it then, Mamo-chan."
| 
| The man's eyes widened in surprise. "Me?"
| 
| "Yes," she said, still smiling. "If it's important, I'm sure it will 
| come in handy."
| 
| Ranma shrugged, levitating towards the roof of the van. "I gotta go," 
| she said, "I'll probably see you later. Thanks for making the wall 
| that stopped the radiation, that helped a lot, since mine was 
| wearing me out."
| 
| Usagi nodded at him, eyes bright with happiness before Ranma 
| teleported away.

   I REALLY like this bit here, Ranma and Usagi getting along better was
really something I was hoping for. I like both characters a lot, though to
be honest I like many fan fiction versions than the so called cannon 
originals. Though I've always had a soft spot for Usagi. :) I also like the
way you portray Mamoru here, I think you've got him down quite well, but
I'm glad he's easing up a bit.

   Anyway... a resounding WELL DONE from my in my little grove. 

Druid
druid@bigplanet.com

Where there is love, there is life.

"You don't need a reason to help people."
   Zidane, Final Fantasy IX




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