And here's part B...

        Turning back to survey the refugees, Ryouga frowned. Some 
people had 
been wounded, others killed... but so few. He wasn't pleased about 
it by any extent, he wanted as few people to die as possible, but... 
but what were the reavers doing? 

Suspect you mean wasn't displeased...

        "Do you know that feeling, where you've planned and worked 
for 
something, and some unknown factor comes in from nowhere and 
destroys all of your hard work and planning in a heartbeat?" Setsuna 
asked nervously. "I have that feeling that something went dreadfully 
wrong."

        Snorting, Washuu replied, "I call it 'the Mihoshi factor'."

Heh.  You know, I would consider moving the Mihoshi scene from earlier to
here just for the transtion factor.  Just a thought.

        Not looking directly at the beam of light, Mamoru set into 
the 
damaged reaver, his blade only just barely able to wound it. 
Weakened by the prodigious gash that Ranma had already inflicted, 
the reaver was able to struggle weakly, and nothing else before it 
finally stilled.

Suggest  "...was only able..."

        "Er... if it's not too much trouble to fly me to the moon," 
Rei 
mumbled, bowing her head.

"And let me play among the stars..."

Sorry.

anma nodded, reaching towards the blade, his fingers hesitating 
centimeters away, as a sudden flurry of writing electricity crawled 
across the blade, enveloping it in a crackling envelope of power, 
snapping towards the boy's hand hungrily. 

Missing an R in Ranma.

        The boy laughed softly at that, mindful of waking the 
sleeping girls. 
"So," he said after a moment, "what's your story."

Needs a question mark.

        [End, Process of Elimination chapter 10]

And that's a wrap.  Another very nice chapter, and as always I'm looking
forward to the next.  Insert more positive comments here.  I'd write them
all out, but I need to hurry and struggle some more with the outline for
my own Chapter 10...


           Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.geocities.com/anowack/
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