On Tue, 15 Jan 2002 16:42:15 -0500 Miashara <vze2qdyg@verizon.net>
writes:

Aaron E Nowack wrote:

Why do you people insist on writing fanfiction I like? Don't you
realise this C&C is cutting into my drinking time?

One could always try to C&C _and_ drink at the same time... ;)

Oh yes.  Assume any of your comments that I don't respond to below have
been duly entered into the list of things to be fixed in the final
release.

And a short recap would be nice.

I thought about adding one this time, but wasn't sure if one was needed. 
Since I've had a request for one, I'll stick in a recap either in the
final draft of this chapter or the next.

The former general leapt out of the way, narrowly dodging the 

attacky.

ri-ight

One of these days I will learn to spellcheck after every time I even look
sideways at something in between the last spellcheck and release...

Mordrangar said, knowing that he could impale the human with
one of his claws faster than Jadeite could get off a spell that 

could

hurt him. ... "Hellfire!"

Either that's not a spell or Mordrangar didn't know it. He
thought it. You are the third person omniscient narrator. Maybe
...confident he could... or such?

The implication was supposed to be that because of the Diamond, Jadeite
was able to get off the spell much faster than Mordrangar thought
possible for him.  I'll try and rework that segment to make it clearer.

For as long as it existed, it would be remembered as
Beryl's, not Jadeite's, nor as a possession of whoever would take 

it

after him.

This would later piss Ikari Gendo off to no end, causing him to
take out his frustration by ruining his son's life. 

Heh.

A silence filled the room, until it was shattered by a beep from
Meno's computer.  Meno smiled and punched out a quick sequence of
commands.  "What was that?" Sachiko asked.
       "Nothing really," Meno said.  "Just the results of a little 

side

project of mine.

Hmm. Both computer's beeping simultaneously, both "nothing
really." I predict they'll all die. Gruesomely.

Yep.  Everybody dies in the next chapter.  How'd you guess? ;) 

Other than my infuriated rantings, nice chapter and keep going.
Huzzah huzzah and all that.

Thank you very much for taking the time to C&C!


           Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.geocities.com/anowack/
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