Okay, since I have in fact seen all four series involved, I'll give
it a shot.

First off, I must admit that like Uncle, I am a bit of a curmudgeon. 
Since I have taken the time to actually seek out the
Japanese-language versions of the shows produced in Japan, I vastly
prefer the original names.  (especially given the hack job done on
the dubs of CCS & BSSM.)

Oh, and the distinction between "magic" and "magick" is really only
important if someone in the story is actually going to use the
former.  (Saint Tail, perhaps?)

On to the story itself...

Meilin's intro:  Easily the best part of the chapter.  A nice sense
of foreboding and menace.

Jackie and clan:  Okay, but way too soppy for this early in the
story.  Save the sentimentality for the end.
     Jade makes a good match age and attitude-wise for the CCS
characters.  I'd suggest making that the center of the crossover
elements.

Tendou dojo and on:  this is where the chapter really falls apart.  I
think you're trying to stuff too many elements into this story
without really thinking it through. I mean, sure, it's nice to have a
really big adventure, but most of these characters have saved the
Earth on their own; why does this particular menace need so much
attention?
     I'd recommend dropping all the "Scouts" save Rini (Supers
version) who's closest to the other main characters in apparent age.
     The new character (I forget her name) is actually the odd person
out here, being apparently the same age as Akane or older...  Is she
really necessary to the plotline?
     Similarly with Kodachi.  While having her as an untrustworthy
ally is a nice twist, she isn't really necessary.  Both Madison and
Li Shaoran's mother are wealthy, and could easily spring for tickets
to Hong Kong if the kids can come up with a good reason to go there. 
Heck, Li's mom knows about the Clow cards, so they wouldn't even need
to lie to her!

So...my main recommendations are to trim the cast to just the people
you really, really need, and to focus the action primarily on the
ten-year-olds.

Hope this helps,
SKJAM!


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