This was good, right.  And for at least a

The comma doesn't work.  It doesn't send the message of
a long enough pause.  It should be either "This was good.
Right." or "This was good... right."  I'd also delete the 
"And".

moment all their worries seemed distant and
unimportant.  What mattered at the moment was that
this chance at life would not be lost.

What mattered at that moment

      Mihoshi stared at the blank screen in a small
amount of confusion.

Mihoshi is confused, not the screen.

    "We can't very well anull the marriage now,"
Ryoko answered with a slight smile.

annul

      "Yeah, well," Ryoko said, tracing her hand
along the floor.  "Takes one to know one.  Maybe I
should tell Ryo-Ohki to let calls come in again."
      "Wait a minute," Ranma said, looking around
nervously.  "She was watching?"

Hey, if she has a psychic link with Ryoko as in some 
Tenchi fics, she was participating!

      "What are they saying?" Mihoshi asked.
      "Why are you asking me?" Ryoko asked.  "I don't
speak the language."

"I speak Japanese, like every one else in space!"

Doesn't Mihoshi have a universal translator or something?

She was not one to be annoyed with lavish luxury, as
Ranma apparently was.  So that wasn't bothering her,
she was thinking of her coming "discussion" with
Ayeka.

She wasn't one to be annoyed by lavish luxury, as Ranma
apparently was.  What was bothering her was the thought
of her coming "discussion" with Ayeka.

      "I guess," Ranma said.  "Block her powers and
let the chi rebuild itself naturally, right."

"right" turns the statement into a question, eh?

      "I might have to pay this doctor friend of
yours a visit," Washu said.  She turned to Ryoko.
"Well, Ryoko, looks like you were lucky.  Mixxed blood
and access to people that actually know more about
something than me."

Mixed

      "Wait, your not mad at me?" Ryoko asked,
confused.

you're

      "There are more terrans here?" Ryoko said,
disbelievingly.

Terrans

      "Yes, quite a few," Ayeka said.  "They arrived
by chance today, and after they handle there business

their

they would require travel back.  I thought that

transportation



             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'