Hiya!

I missed this when it first came out: I had my vacation flag set for parts 
of my Christmas vacation and it slipped by without my notice.  I found it on 
the website.  My C&C of the previous chapter wasn't entirely complementary, 
I admit, and this one is largely critical as well.  This isn't some personal 
vendetta against either the author or the story itself.  I don't read twenty 
chapters of a story I don't like.  I don't bother checking the archive of a 
fic I detest.  There aren't that many well written, interesting Ranma fics 
being produced these days, and it's nice having one with enough meat to bite 
into.
	Which doesn't mean, of course, that I like everything about newRanma.  In 
fact, there's a fair bit I don't like, or am disturbed by.  That's probably 
a good thing.  Kudos to the author for crafting a fic I _want_ to C&C.  I 
write this in the hope of generating discussion about the fic.  There 
doesn't seem to be much story-oriented discussion on the FFML these days, 
and that's unfortunate.

I have to admit that when I read the story of the website yesterday, my 
expectation weren't really high.  My criticisms of a few chapters ago were 
at elements that couldn't easily be changed without undermining a lot of the 
established story.  I was pleasantly surprised.  There were still a number 
of elements that bothered me, but I found the chapter far superior to the 
one I C&Ced before.  The writing was as strong as ever, and more 
importantly, the story was more consistent within its established framework. 
  Akane's revelation made sense (though it wasn't a surprise), as did 
Nabiki's; even Ranma's 'Why wasn't it me' was more sophisticated than I had 
expected.
	(Having been in a similar emotional situation--well, without the lesbians 
and brain clot, of course--it makes perfect sense to me that displaced 
attraction can lead to a silly sense of angry betrayal.)

Of course, that being said there were still elements I disliked, some of 
them reaching back to my earlier criticism.  Akane remains a secondary 
character--hell, Nabiki's new girlfriend has a bigger part to play in it 
than she does.  Ranma's still an unbelievably annoying wet noodle with the 
instincts of a rutting dog... the story should be called 'newNabiki', 
because as far as I can tell it's more interested in her than it is in 
Ranma.  Soun and Kasumi were interesting presences, though, and I hope their 
reactions get further developed in the few remaining chapters.

But as interesting as she is, it bothers me that nobody makes any reference 
to Nabiki's stunning hypocrisy, and that apparently she's going to get away 
with the shocking behaviour she's displayed so far.  Soun berates her, 
saying 'you don't know what love is'--because she's only been with Taiyoko 
for a few weeks... umm, how about the fact that she openly betrayed her 
trust to try and seduce her sister's fiancee at every chance she had?  Fair 
enough, that she was interested in Ranma because she thought he'd gone 
'girl'; but how about asking his thoughts on the matter, instead of 
psychologically torturing him along the way?  I still think Nabiki's one of 
the more (probably the most) interesting character in the story... but she's 
not in the least bit sympathetic (Soun's little "you've chosen a hard path" 
diatribe notwithstanding).  Akane was perfectly justified in pounding her; 
she should've thrown in a couple of kicks as well.  The girlfriend should 
have joined in, too: _I_ would, if my lover openly stated her amorous, 
continuing intentions for another _while laying naked in bed next to me_!

Ranma remains pretty useless.  He's angry that Nabiki chose another girl 
over him--fair enough.  Why isn't he angry that she also blatantly used him? 
  Tried to drive a wedge between him and Akane at every turn, for her own 
selfish passions and cruel desires?  She makes some scathing remarks about 
his harem, and her words score deeper than they should: Ranma hasn't really 
_done_ anything about his girls because he's been passive the entire story, 
simply swooning and gushing at every inch of exposed skin.  I kept hoping 
he'd manage some kind of rebuttal or show some sign of inner will... but he 
doesn't.  You'd think his own sexual confusion would lend some understanding 
of Akane's similar dilemma, but it doesn't.  The blurb at the top of the 
newRanma website says this is a story about Ranma shifting into adulthood; 
but when he's given a chance to play 'adult' (ie. Showing some restraint) in 
the encounters with Kodachi... he doesn't.  I ranted about this when I 
commented before--for a main character, Ranma's pretty annoying.  By this 
point in the story, I see him less as a confused young man discovering his 
sexuality, than as a fan-service walking genital.  I don't mean that to come 
off as flippant as it sounds: it can explain much of his behavior.  If he's 
just a walking genital, he's not really accountable for any of his 
actions--he's only capable of thinking about one thing.  Unfortunately, that 
limits his interest as a principle character, in my opinion.

Another problem I have is that 'Adulthood' in newRanma seems to equate with 
promiscuousness.  Ranma can't keep either his male or female bits in his 
pants.  The girls of his 'harem' are even worse: aside from Akane, these 
girls are all willing to spread their legs for him at any given chance!  
Ukyou takes the bunny girl route, Nabiki's advances border on rape, and 
Kodachi's virginal attempt at seduction doesn't say much for her character.  
Only anger-neurotic Akane seems to want to wait until a 'proper' time.  A 
big part of adulthood, I'd say, as opposed to being a teenager, is 
recognizing the consequences of an action and acting on it--even if it 
denies the pleasure of the moment.  These people are still years and years 
from that.

(I'll admit, teenagers wanting to throw their virginity away isn't all that 
difficult a thing to grasp.  It's just the way they go about it in the 
fic--and Ranma's easy acceptance of it.  Maybe Nabiki _was_ right... Ranma 
likes having a harem around 'cus he's sure to get some action from them.  
But why doesn't he feel the least bit of anger at their approaches?  He's 
emotionally reeling after being kicked out, and the Kunos kindly take him 
in; but Kodachi's quick to betray that trust with another attempt at 
ensnaring him.  If he's that easy, do they really believe that a one-night 
stand is going to catch him?)

Actually, Akane's reaction is interesting--and a bit odd.  Okay, she's 
dealing with some deep issues.  She's worried that she's a lesbian--a 
pervert, one of the things she hates the most.  I think the author plays up 
the anger aspect a bit too much--Akane's just as likely to react with tears 
as with anger in tense situations, I think--but it still makes sense.  She's 
confused, and she's overheard both Nabiki's and Ranma's admissions (ie: N: I 
tried to seduce you because you were a girl; R:I still want to have sex with 
you) and she's furious.  But the entirety of her anger seems focused on 
Nabiki being openly lesbian.  Okay, maybe it is largely driven by her own 
guilt, fears, and maybe a healthy dose of jealousy-why can't she accept it 
as easily?  But she doesn't even make mention of Nabiki's betrayal-her own 
sister trying to steal Ranma away, regardless of Akane's feelings in the 
matter.  Doesn't she care about Ranma in the least anymore?  Her feelings 
for Ranma have become curiously secondary to her anger at Nabiki being a 
lesbian.
But then, that's a bit of an issue in itself: in recent chapters, we've seen 
virtually nothing of what she thinks, so that when Soun tells her that it 
might be best if she gives up on the boy, we have no way of knowing whether 
she actually cares anymore--worse, we might not have much interest, since 
our focus has been kept elsewhere for so long.
	More seriously, though, it seems that Akane is being punished for being 
confused about her sexuality.  More to the point, it seems she's being 
punished for trying to hold onto her heterosexuality.  Ranma comments at 
some point that if Akane had been willing to kiss him as a girl, he wouldn't 
have been susceptible to Nabiki's advances.  And Akane's difficulties seem 
to be treated with zero sympathy by the author, even though her problem 
parallels Ranma's so closely.  This raised a couple of issues.  First: in 
that scene, she's the only really sympathetic character, even despite her 
ranting and raving; yet she's the one that's treated the worst.  I mean, 
she's just been treated really, really horribly by both her fiance and her 
sister.  He's already kissed Nabiki in front of her, and now admits he still 
wants to screw Nabiki--again right in front of her!  He should be down on 
his knees begging for forgiveness, but instead he's whining that Nabiki 
chose someone else.  Somehow, she still comes off looking the villain in 
that scene.
	Second, and more importantly, it raises a question: Is Akane being punished 
for trying to hold on to her heterosexuality?  Sexual flexibility is a fine 
thing, and I don't begrudge the homosexuals and bisexuals their choice in 
orientation; but does this mean that heterosexuality is a bad thing?  This 
has to be answered within the few chapters remaining.  The author is dealing 
with some very serious issues here.  Thing is, previous chapters suggest 
that sexual limitation are viewed as a bad thing: at most every turn, every 
aspect of sexuality has been portrayed in a favourable or 'normal' light, 
from homosexuality to parental rape dreams.  Is this why Akane, with her 
fears of 'abnormal' sexuality, is getting so nastily torn up by her sister?

Well, anyway, these criticisms haven't really been presented in as coherent 
of a way as I would've liked; I've kind of jumped all over the place.  
Again, though these might seem like negative or harsh criticisms, I don't 
mean any harm in them--I _do_ like the story, or else I wouldn't bother 
writing something of this length.  I don't know if there's any actually 
value in what I've written, but I do hope it generates some discussion... 
the good fics out there need to be noticed more, in my opinion.

-Mike Noakes

noakes_m@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/noakes_m


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