Ignition
by Ewen "Blackbird" Cluney
Episode 2: Three's A Crowd
[Kenji, Kimiko, and Civiko are standing outside, in the
driveway.]
Kimiko: So let me get this straight; you think the remote is what
does it?
[Kimiko takes the remote out of Kenji's hand.]
Kenji: Hey!
[Kenji's cell phone rings, playing Fur Elise. He scowls at Kimiko
as he answers it. She shrugs and presses the button on the
remote. Suddenly his cell phone is engulfed in a red glow. A few
moments later he finds himself holding Nokia's hand. She smiles
at him expectantly. Cut to a view of the neighborhood.]
Kenji: DAMNIT! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!
[Cut to the driveway. Nokia regards the rather tweaked out Kenji
apprehensively.]
Nokia: Ano~...
Kenji: [snatching the remote and key from Kimiko] First the car,
now my CELL PHONE.
Kimiko: Wow. That thing's pretty cool.
Nokia: Um...
Kenji: Shut up! It's really FREAKING annoying is what it is!
Civiko: [to Nokia] Don't worry; this is normal for him.
Nokia: Oh.
Kimiko: [rolls eyes] Sor-ry! Let me see if I can help.
Kenji: Haven't you done enough damage for one day?
Nokia: He's our owner?
Civiko: Uh-huh! His name's Kenji. Asakawa Kenji.
Kimiko: Jeez! I liked you WAY better in the old days.
Kenji: I'm sure.
Nokia: Kenji-sama, my name is Nokia. ^_^
Kenji: Yeah.
[Nokia suddenly starts singing Fur Elise.]
Kenji: What the...
Kimiko: Looks like you have a call.
Kenji: And how the hell do I answer it?
[Nokia holds out one hand with the pinky and thumb extended and
holds it up to Kenji's ear.]
Kenji: <sigh> Moshimoshi?
Naoki: Hey Kenji! The manager wants you to come into work today!
Kenji: [grabbing Nokia's hand] WHAT? I'm supposed to have the day
off!
Naoki: Yeah, but the manager suddenly had family business to deal
with, so he needs two people to hold the fort today.
Kenji: What, you can't manage by yourself?
Naoki: Hello?! It's SUNDAY! AND that new B'z single just came
out! By lunch time I'll have to find a shinai to fend off all the
14-year-old girls!
Kenji: <sigh> FINE! I'll be there. I may be a little late though.
Naoki: Not too late I hope.
[Kenji pulls her hand away from him. She looks at him
expectantly. He looks at her hand, and folds up the pinky. Nokia
smiles and puts her hand behind her back.]
Kenji: I don't suppose you know how to turn yourself back?
Nokia: Sorry, no.
Kenji: Shit.
Civiko: Kenji-sama, I think I know how to turn back. ^_^
Kenji: <shrug> Go for it.
[Civiko holds out her hand expectantly. Kenji hesitates for a
moment, then hands her the key ring. He lifts up the bottom of
her shirt to reveal her belly button -- which is in fact a
keyhole like on a car door. Kenji and Kimiko look on, unsure of
what to think as Civiko puts the key in and turns it. She's
covered by a red glow, and transforms back into the car.]
Car: [happily] <Honk!>
[Kenji pauses, and turns to Nokia and Kimiko.]
Kenji: <sigh> Kimiko, can you keep an eye on Nokia while I'm at
work?
Kimiko: Sure.
[Kenji opens the car door and then stops short.]
Kenji: CRAP.
Kimiko: What?
Kenji: I'm supposed to get a call about a scholarship today. On
my cell phone.
Kimiko: I see. Then you'd better take her along, huh?
Kenji: <sigh> [to Nokia] Get in the car.
Nokia: Hai, Kenji-sama!
[Cut to Kenji driving in the Civic, with Nokia in the passenger
seat. The radio suddenly turns on, playing "Love Phantom" by B'z.
Kenji irately turns it off.]
Kenji: I hear that song enough at work.
Car: [disconcerted] <Honk...>
[He stops at an intersection.]
Kenji: [to Nokia] Hey, um...
Nokia: Nokia?
Kenji: Y-yeah. Can you call that guy I called yesterday?
Nokia: Sure! I still have the number in my call log!
[She makes some beeping sounds and again holds up her thumb and
pinky to Kenji. Kenji waits several seconds before closing her
pinky.]
Nokia: No answer...
Kenji: I don't know if I can get used to this. Hopefully I can
get home without anything else becoming a girl.
Nokia: At least you still have two more seats in the car.
Kenji: Don't remind me.
[Cut to Kenji hopping out of the car. Nokia follows.]
Kenji: [to the car] Be good; stay here.
Car: [disappointed] <Honk!>
Kenji: Alright, look -- if you behave then I'll... um... get you
a tank of premium gas next time.
Car: [enthusiastic] <Honk!>
[Cut to Kenji and Nokia walking into the record store. Naoki
looks at Nokia in shock.]
Naoki: Woah! Is there a convention around here I should know
about? I--I mean, Irasshaimase!
Nokia: Convention?
Naoki: Well, you're dressed like a booth babe -- Nokia?
Nokia: That's me. ^_^ I'm Kenji's--
[Kenji covers her mouth.]
Kenji: Cousin. She's in town because of work but she's taking the
afternoon off and she didn't want to be left alone in the house.
Naoki: Oh... kay... Whatever you say. Just get to work.
[Kenji sighs. Cut to Kenji behind the counter, opening a box of
new CD singles. Naoki brings another box out from the back room.]
Naoki: [to Nokia] So, where're you from?
Nokia: Umm... Scandanavia I think.
Naoki: Huh? You don't look it...
Kenji: [blinks] Her... parents were living there at the time.
That's where Nokia phones are made.
Naoki: Really?
Kenji: Yup.
Naoki: Figures your cell phone would be some cheap European piece
of junk.
Nokia: I am not!
Naoki: What?
Kenji: Did I mention her hearing isn't very good?
[The front door opens and a small herd of middle school aged
girls runs in.]
Kenji & Naoki: Irasshaimase!
Girl #1: What the hell?! These guys are collge-aged and they're
working here?
Girl #2: Must be big-time losers!
Kenji: [twitch] Can I help you young ladies?
Girl #1: The new single please.
Girl #3: One for each of us. NOW.
Naoki: [twitch] Coming right up.
Nokia: Hey! Kenji-sama works very hard!
Girl #4: Woah; I wouldn't think a crappy place like this could
afford a booth babe...
Girl #3: They're probably so desperate they'd try anything to get
more business.
[Nokia suddenly starts singing. Kenji panics, grabs her by the
hand, and drags her into the back room. Naoki and the girls look
on, unsure of what to make of it.]
Naoki: Don't even ask me. Will that be cash?
Girl #2: Nah; I'll use Papa's credit card.
[Naoki rolls his eyes. Cut to Kenji talking into Nokia's hand.]
Kenji: Moshimoshi?! ... KIMIKO?! What the HELL do you want? ... I
DON'T HAVE TIME TO EAT! NO! DON'T call me today unless it's a
life and death matter!
[He irately closes Nokia's pinky and lets out a long sigh. Nokia
pats him on the back.]
Nokia: It's okay; I'm here for you like always.
Kenji: That's what worries me.
[Cut to Kenji and Nokia walking back into the front part of the
shop; the customers are gone for the moment.]
Naoki: Know what? I don't even wanna know.
Kenji: Good, 'cuz I don't wanna tell you.
[Cut to the Civic sitting in its parking place.]
Civiko Voice Over: Aww... This is so _boring_! I wanna go places!
I wanna _drive_! ... I know Kenji-sama is my owner and I hafta'
do what he says, but... Why's he have to be so careful all the
time? Can't we have a little fun when he drives? Oh well, at
least I can listen to some music...
[The car radio turns itself on.]
Civiko Voice Over: That's a little better... Ohhhhhh! I miss him!
I hope he's okay... Wait. His work wouldn't be mean and call him
in so suddenly, would they? No... It couldn't be...! He wouldn't
be lying to _me_. He couldn't be driving some _other_ car right
now! He couldn't...
[Cut to the store; Kenji and Naoki straighten as the door opens,
then relax as Mimi walks in.]
Mimi: Hey guys; I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop
by. ^_^
Naoki: Don't you _live_ in this neighborhood?
Mimi: Aw, you figured it out. :P
Naoki: [rolls eyes] You can use it as an excuse to come bug is
whenever you want.
Mimi: Yup! Say, have you guys eaten yet?
Kenji: Nothing.
Mimi: Good. Then you can join me for lunch.
Kenji: ... [skeptical/irritated look]
Naoki: Welllll... It _is_ about time for you to take a lunch
break.
[Mimi takes Kenji by the arm and starts pulling him out of the
shop.]
Naoki: [grin] Don't worry, I'll take good care of your cousin.
Kenji: Nokia, go check on the car; I'll be back later.
Nokia: Hai, Kenji-sama. ^_^
[Cut to Kenji and Mimi sitting down at Mod's Burger.]
Mimi: You know, you'd be more attractive if you didn't go around
looking like this-- [mimics his usual irate, half-lidded
expression] --all the time.
Kenji: I know. That's why I do it.
Mimi: Huh? ... <sigh> Naoki was telling me about what happened to
you in high school; is that why--?
Kenji: I really don't like to talk about that stuff.
Mimi: But--
Kenji: I mean it. Change the subject or I'll leave.
Mimi: That bad, huh?
Kenji: ...
Mimi: You must be a lot of fun at parties.
Kenji: People tell me I'm the death of the party.
Mimi: <chuckles> Were you this funny back then?
Kenji: I'm sure I was fun to watch.
[Cut to Nokia walking down the street. She stops in front of the
parking space where the Civic was -- it's now empty. Nokia
blinks, and starts walking. Cut to a view of the Mod's Burger
from the outside; the Civic, with no driver, halts in front,
edges forward meandering a bit, then speeds off. Cut to Kenji and
Mimi talking again.]
Mimi: You seem like a totally different person from the one in
Naoki's stories.
Kenji: [shrug] Seems like it.
Mimi: Is that how you're going to go through life? Being Captain
Sarcastic?
Kenji: It seems to be working. Not that you're one to complain
about people's sarcasm.
Mimi: <chuckle> Yeah; if you're Captain Sarcastic then I guess
that makes me your sidekick.
[A figure in a black trench coat walks into the restraunt,
deliberately facing away from the two of them, and sits down at a
table, holding up a newspaper. A close-up reveals that it's
Civiko; she's wearing a fedora, though it just sits on top of her
steering wheel, and peering over the top of her newspaper at
Kenji and Mimi.]
Civiko Voice Over: Nooooo! Kenji-sama, how could you!
[She watches in horror as Kenji smiles a little in response to
something Mimi says. Civiko grips the newspaper more tightly and
starts growling, though it winds up sounding more like a revving
engine. Kenji blinks and starts looking around, and Civiko ducks
behind her newspaper.]
Mimi: What?
Kenji: Thought I heard something.
[Cut to a close-up of Civiko.]
Civiko Voice Over: Oh no! If Kenji-sama finds out I'm here like
this he'll be really mad at me! I... I hafta' act casual. CASUAL.
[Civiko tries to relax and ends up falling backwards out of her
seat. Kenji is about to turn to see what happened when Nokia
walks by, singing Fur Elise. Kenji starts and runs out the door,
takes Nokia by the hand, and hurries off-camera as Mimi watches,
unsure of what to make of it. Cut to Kenji talking on the
"phone".]
Kenji: Moshimohsi? ... Er, yes! This is Asakawa Kenji. ... Yes...
That's right... Well, not to be rude or anything, but is there
any chance this could be done later? Now isn't a very good time
for-- ... I understand; it's just that I was called into work
unexpectedly-- ... Now? N-no problem, sir.
[Kenji sighs as quietly as possible, and starts walking into an
alleyway with Nokia in tow. Cut to the restraunt; Mimi walks up
to Civiko.]
Mimi: Are... you alright?
Civiko: Fine! [stands up, laughs nervously] Perfectly fine! I
have to go now!
[Civiko bolts out the door. Mimi watches her go and then shakes
her head.]
Mimi: Something's going on. [clasps her hands behind her head] At
least things won't be boring around here. ^_^
[Cut to Kenji talking on the "phone" still. Civiko is hiding
behind a garbage can nearby.]
Kenji: Alright. Thank you very much! [hangs up] ... <sigh>
Hopefully that didn't go _too_ horribly.
Nokia: You did sound a bit nervous, but I'm sure you'll get the
scholarship. ^_^
[Kenji sighs and starts walking, then stops short and turns
around.]
Kenji: ...
[Civiko looks up at him fearfully.]
Kenji: ...
Civiko: Kensji-sama...
Kenji: ...
Civiko: I, um...
Kenji: ...
Civiko: Well... I...
Kenji: ...
Nokia: She was worried about you and was going to look for you.
Kenji: [rolls eyes] Fine. Whatever. Go and park yourself again.
Civiko: Um, okay.
Kenji: [to Nokia] And you, keep an eye on her.
[Cut to Kenji and Mimi walking back into the store.]
Naoki: Hey, where's the cousin?
Kenji: She decided to wait in the car.
Naoki: damn...
Mimi: Sorry Naoki; not all women are so affected by your charms.
Naoki: [shrug] I guess I'm just losing my touch.
Kenji: What touch?
Naoki: Ouch.
Mimi: Anyways, I'll leave you two to your work. Ja ne!
[They watch her leave.]
Naoki: Well?
Kenji: Well what?
Naoki: [rolls eyes] Never mind. If she _does_ like you it won't
go anywhere apparently.
Kenji: And why should you care?
Naoki: Have you ever thought about what Mimi would look like
without those centimeter-thick glasses and that dumpy sweatshirt?
Kenji: No.
Naoki: Remember Suzuhara Manami?
Kenji: No.
Naoki: Oh, you missed out on that one; she had a crush on
Yamanose Hikaru, so she let the Fashion Club get their hands on
her. The next day she couldn't open her locker because there were
too many love letters jammed in there. But of course you wouldn't
really care about that, would you?
Kenji: Not at the moment.
[Cut to Kenji getting into the Civic, along with Nokia, then cut
to the car pulling out. Cut to the car pulling up in front of the
apartment building where Kenji met Mr. Tanaka. Kenji gets out.]
Kenji: <sigh> Both of you stay here.
Car: [worried] <honk...>
Kenji: This shouldn't take too long.
[Cut to Kenji striding up to the door. He takes a deep breath and
knocks -- and the force of his knocking opens the door. He blinks
as he looks into a completely empty apartment. He looks at the
Civic's key ring in his hand, then turns around and leaves,
slamming the door. Cut to Kenji walking up to a door that has a
"Manager" sign on it. Kenji is about to knock when the door flies
open and a short, irate old woman with a cane stand there.]
Manager: Who are you and what the hell do you want?
Kenji: I'm looking for the guy who was in Apartment 4.
Manager: Who's that then?
Kenji: Said is name was Tanaka; sold me a car.
Manager: Screwed you over, did he?
Kenji: What do you think?
Manager: [hits Kenji in the shin with her cane] Don't be
sarcastic and crabby with me, young man! I was bitter and
crotchety before you were even in daipers! My husband's dead,
I've got arthritis like you wouldn't believe and I have to go in
for dialysis on Monday!
Kenji: [twitch] And your misfortune hasn't adversely affected
your mouth I see.
Manager: [hits Kenji in the other shin] My hearing is pretty good
too. Mr. Tanaka up and disappeared; he'd only been staying here
for a couple weeks and he ran off yesterday evening; something
about a trip to Brazil he'd been planning.
Kenji: Shit.
Manager: Whatever's wrong with the car, you're stuck with it, so
get over it and get out of here. Complaining only helps if
someone wants to listen, and I ain't in the mood to unless you
want to hear about my kidney stones first.
[Kenji lets out a long sigh and walks away. Cut to Kenji getting
in the car.]
Nokia: Kenji-sama, there's a voice mail for you.
Kenji: [sigh] Let's hear it.
[Nokia holds up her hand to Kenji's ear like usual; as he
listens, he becomes gradually more and more annoyed. Finally, he
closes Nokia's pinky, buckles up, and peels out of the parking
space.]
Nokia: Kenji-sama, what's wrong?
Kenji: I have an older brother. A WORTHLESS older brother, who
apparently is coming to visit.
[Cut to Kimiko opening the door to reveal a tall guy with long
(dyed) red hair, dressed in a leather jacket, a tank top, and
black jeans, with a guitar case on his back. He smiles at Kimiko
and gives her a "V" sign with his hand.]
Kimiko: Brother? What're you doing here???
[Fade to black.]
------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewen "Blackbird" Cluney blackbird@blackbird.nu
Blackbird's Domain http://www.blackbird.nu/
The Official Thrash Home Page http://thrash.blackbird.nu/
Knight Kevlar of the Immortal Frog Silver Knight of Mihoshi
"Be nice to me; I might just develop
psychokinetic powers and destroy Tokyo!"
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