DB Sommer wrote:

And here's the second half. Glad to get it to you before Christmas. Enjoy

    Er... right. Well, let's hope that Mozilla doesn't eat this. :p

Dr. Tofu poked is head out the door just as Akane left the office. He looked
curiously at the door to his clinic as it swung shut. "'I'll hold you to
that'. What was that supposed to mean?"

    Repetition of 'door'?

Tofu turned to see the diminutive Kasumi standing on his desk once again. It
was odd how her presence didn't have the same effect on him when she was in
her miniature state. Oh, he still bore a heady feeling when he was in the
same room with her, but he was coherent and could think quite well, though
sometimes it required a bit of concentration. It was actually very nice to
have conversations with her that didn't involve dancing with Betty-chan or
trying to devour some inedible substance and perceiving it as a normal
reaction to talking with her. Of course there was the drawback that she was
a mere centimeter or so tall at the time, depending on her mood since she
seemed to be able to control her actual height.

    Centimeter? That IS small...

Kasumi seemed to revel in being able to wear such garments and act less
reserved than in her normal housekeeping role. Some of the things she said
made even him blush.

    Hehe...

A small trickle of blood dripped from his nose as he remembered the last
time Kasumi grew without suitable garments on. He shook the memory from his
head. There were more important matters to be concerned about. During the
course of the last few weeks, Kasumi had sewn many outfits for herself,
spending most of her free time doing so. The one she was currently wearing
was creamy white. Offsetting the material were blue boots and blue edging
around the neck where a 'W' formed part of the border that led down to the
tops of her bosom. The amount of cleavage shown (small, in reality, but not
so insignificant when one realized it was proportional to the rest of her)
was far more revealing than anything Kasumi had ever worn before. One arm
and leg had been left completely bare between the outfit and her glove and
boot. Certainly it saved material, but with how high both were cut, it left
little doubt that despite her duties around the home, Kasumi had managed to
stay in very good shape. The mask she wore covered the upper half of her
face, allowing her brown hair to flow freely behind her as she darted
through the air.

    Hehehe...

A soft sigh escaped Tofu's lips. He chose clothing that was cheap and worn,
since he might have to grow and ruin them. It appeared the first 'official'
case for the new superhero team of the Wasp and Giant Man was about to get
underway. The only bright side would be the adventure would serve to keep
him out of his mother's sight for a while. Compared to her constant harping
about marrying and raising a family, fighting super-villains would almost
seem relaxing.

    Giant Man vs. Power Man: Battle of the lame titles. Hehehe...

Five more shots were aimed right on target. The bullets impacted in the
exact spots they were aimed at. Each of the metal projectiles imparted a
tremendous amount of force.  Combined, they were enough to crack an engine
block in half.

    Ouch.

Power Man looked casually down at his chest where the bullets had hit.
"Geez, you guys don't know when to give up." He hefted a set of
interconnected seats over his head and threw them at the security personnel
as though he was in kindergarten playing a vicious version of musical
chairs. The width of the makeshift missile allowed Power Man to strike all
five of the officers at the same time. The force with which he threw it
guaranteed their medical plans would be activated.

    Yeesh...

"I still say we don't need any help. I think the four of us are more than
enough to deal with any threats to the boss or his plan. Besides, we only
need a couple more days."

    Four?

Power Man turned just in time to have a well-aimed billy club ricochet off
his face. Even as the cylinder bounced off the floor and returned to the
thrower's hand, the huge man's sole reaction to the blow was to rub his jaw.
"Congratulations. That's the hardest hit I've taken all day."

    He throws the club with velocity and force exceeding bullets?

Daredevil cringed. "The Whizzer? It sounds like you have the ability to go
to the restroom really fast." Suddenly 'Stilt Man' didn't seem like such a
stupid name.

Power Man turned on his friend. "I told you that outfit was a dumb color and
the name was stupid, but you wouldn't listen."

"I know, I know. It never occurred to me people would associate my name with
that. I'll change my costume and name at the first opportunity when we get
back. I had several costumes made up and a list of other names to go with
them since I had such a hard time deciding." Whizzer returned his attention
to their opponent and pointed at the large man. "My friend over there is
Power Man."

    Hehehehe...

Hawkeye rushed out into the open with another arrow notched in her bow. She
had maneuvered behind her opponents while they had wasted time with the
newcomer, Daredevil, if she had heard correctly. Apparently he was on her
side. It was hard to tell lately. One thing Whizzer had been on target about
was the sudden proliferation of super heroes. Hawkeye had already met two.
It would be good to talk with another one. She felt a bit alone in the world
with her newfound occupation, and the idea of having a partner appealed to
her in some way. Of course she would have to prove her worth and help
Daredevil in taking out these two buffoons before she could 'talk shop'.
Given how bright the bad guys in question seemed, she and Daredevil should
be deep in conversation in under ten minutes.

    It's like musical chairs with the PoV... intentional?

Power Man hurled a sizable potted plant at Hawkeye before she could get a
second shot at the fallen Whizzer. She was able to leap out of the way of
the large projectile as it continued hurtling through the air until it hit
an ATM machine, cracking it open like a bulky pi�ata that spewed money out
of its innards instead of candy.

    That analogy seems a little unwieldly.

Daredevil's radar sense informed him that the impression of Power Man's head
that had been left in the length of metal meant it would be a good idea to
abandon the weapon. He tossed it aside and made a mental note to replace it
later, since he only had two left in his robe. "Fine, we can do it the
old-fashioned way." He fell into a fighting stance.

    First sentence reads awkwardly.

"Good." Power Man took a swing at Daredevil's head. The red-garbed
adventurer easily got out of the way easily.

    Repetition, 'easily'.

"Damn!" she muttered through a sore jaw. She had barely seen him move. This
was almost worse than the time she had been hypnotized into believing her
arrows were snakes.

    Reminds me of an old AD&D spell...

"You know what you're problem is? You talk way too much." Hawkeye spat in
his direction.

    you're -- your

He was so intent on beating Hawkeye to a pulp that he failed to see the wire
tied to each arrow, one that was now taut thanks to the second shot, and at
ankle level. He felt it though as he unwittingly ran into it, tripping over
the wire and rolling across the ground at an inhumanly high speed. His
momentum was too great for him to stop as he smashed into a service desk
next to one of the departure areas. Now it was his turn to be stunned.

    He's lucky a wire that fine didn't just cut right through him.

Daredevil's aim was true as the end of the club hit at just the precise spot
at the shoulder, causing Power Man to cry out in pain and grab his now limp
arm. It was just as he thought. The man's skin was supernaturally tough, but
not enough to make him immune to pain. A powerful blow, one strong enough to
shatter a normal man's arm, delivered to the center of a cluster of nerves
located at the joint in the elbow was enough to at least temporarily
neutralize one of the big man's limbs. Satisfied that Power Man was not
invincible, the blind man went for his next attack.

    Er... Repetition, 'just', and you specify that he's striking a point on Lime's shoulder, then explain that the cluster of nerves is on his elbow... Might want to clarify that.

Blinded, Power Man missed the smile that blossomed on Daredevil's features
at another gamble that had worked. As obscenely strong as the appropriately
named Power Man was, his eyes were not so tough that they could ignore the
effects of salt thrown into them. However, sensing the effect this newfound,
albeit temporary, handicap had on his opponent; the now racing heartbeat,
the awkward walking and colliding into objects that were in 'plain sight',
and the anguish both physical and mental of losing one of the primary
senses, made Daredevil feel a slight bit of remorse. Blindness was not
something he wished on anyone, no matter how well he had managed to adjust
to his own condition. That Daredevil possessed little choice in the matter
did little to ease his conscience concerning his actions.

    Odd that he didn't think of that first...

"Damn Hidden Weapons Technique," she hissed, her voice a higher pitch than
Daredevil would have imagined. It also said something about her that she
recognized the style. Not many would, it was not common knowledge and few
mastered it. And, unless he was mistaken, there was just the faintest hint
of an accent underlying her Japanese. It was in the inflection of 'Hidden'.
No one else could have detected it, he barely had even with his superhuman
hearing, but it was there. A Chinese accent, or so he thought. It was hard
to tell, and unimportant at the moment.

    Nng... Shampoo?

He pushed the thoughts out of his mind as he finally connected with a kick
to the woman's side. She let out a tight gasp of air, but he could feel her
roll with the blow, taking little damage from it. Recovering quickly, she
threw the sai directly at his head. It was an unusual move in that it wasn't
really a throwing weapon. He batted it out of the air, and then found
himself confronted with a spinning leap kick the woman had decided to
deliver while the blade was in mid-air. By the gods, she was fast and
skilled. Even he would have had difficulty matching that feat. So instead,
he moved back, allowing her toe to strike the floor instead of the leg she
had been aiming at.

    Repetition, 'instead'.

At the last second he understood his mistake. Concentrating so much on stayi
ng alive, he had forgotten there were two opponents, and not realized that
the other one had recovered. Despite being off-balance, he shifted forward,
and the fist that was aimed at his head only stuck a glancing blow off the
base of his neck and shoulder. Against a man with normal strength, it would
have only hurt somewhat. From Power Man, it was like someone driving a two
by four into it. Daredevil fell unconscious immediately.

    'against'? I'm not sure that works...

"Musketeer's weren't really known for marketing things."

    Musketeer's -- Musketeers

"No need. I'll just call you 'Dead Meat' and leave it at that." She fired
another stun arrow, which he sliced that one in two as casually as swatting
an annoying insect.

    'which he sliced that one' -- er... maybe drop the 'that one'?

"The costume shop was all out of samurai outfits, so I stole this one. I can
make anything look good, given my handsome features."

    HEH!

Hawkeye fired another arrow. This time she nearly hit the oaf due to the
closer proximity and the lack of time her opponent had to react to the
projectile. Finally she had hope. She took a half step forward before she
realized something was wrong. It took a moment to figure out what it was:
Whizzer was no longer lying an a half-formed heap next to the wall.

    'half-formed'? I don't know if that really works. Makes it sound like he splattered himself into jelly, and is slowly pulling himself back together.

"Indeed. The veritable 'Blue Thunder' of Japan." The warrior momentarily
forgot he was with a possible opponent and bowed. "I see my reputation has
spread beyond this island. Soon, the whole world shall know of my stature
and skill. Hahahaha!" he laughed to the heavens, which responded with a
lightning bolt striking in the distance.

    Of course.

"That's what the boss said. He's always held the opinion from the beginning
that once he takes over, he'll need strong people who are easy to manipulate
to delegate leadership roles to. He seemed to think you, me, and Power Man
shuld fit the bill in those regards."

    ...

The Swordsman held his sword up high above his head. "He could have chosen
no more suitable warrior to enlist in his cause."

    Oh, goddess. That's... erm. Right.

She turned to the other members of this inane 'Lethal Legion' she was
supposed to be temporarily aligning herself with at the behest of her
masters. The trio appeared stupid, but powerful and skilled. She would be
able to thrive among the fools, especially since they seemed overly enamored
with her. From what little information she had gleaned from her masters,
their boss was far more brilliant. There was the realistic potential for him
to possibly emerge victorious in his attempt at laying claim to, if not the
whole world, at least a significant portion of it. If he did, in return for
their cooperation the Hand would be given free reign to spread their
influence through the entirety of Asia without fear of reprisals from the
authorities. And if he failed, the ten million dollars he had deposited in
their bank accounts for hiring her services would still allow the
organization to come out ahead.

    PoV shift again.

    This whole segment was somewhat awkward, staring out with Hawkeye, then jumping to Mint, and now just as suddenly jumping to Electra.

    The paragraphs have the right structure that you can just add a scene shift between them to take the PoV changes into account...

Ranma cracked his knuckles. "You got that right. I'm no super hero. I'm just
a normal guy called Ranma Saotome that's going to kick all of your butts."

    Poor Ranma...

Ranma had fallen no more than halfway back to the ground when he felt
someone grab his ankle. The next thing he knew there was a yellow blur, and
then he found himself hurled through the air so quickly that everything
became a shifting field of various colors, far too fast for his eye to
follow. The disturbing flight only stopped when the grip on his ankle
released and his unexpected flight ended with his collision head-first into
a wall.

    Repetition, flight.

Air replaced concrete as Ranma felt himself hoisted up, suspended like a
small child in the hands of a giant. He recognized Power Man's mask as the
big man brought him face-to-face. The only details Ranma could make out
around the man's mask were the piercing gaze from around the eyeholes and
the cut out portion of the mouth, which was curled into a sneer. Neither
seemed to bode well for the youth.

    'around' the eyeholes? One would think 'through' them...

Kaori shot the goddess in irritated glare. "Great, more of you guys. Well,
it doesn't appear the first couple of you vigilantes did much good. We had a
report from the tower that an unauthorized plane took off on its own.
Someone said they thought they saw the bad guys who were tearing up the
place board it, and they brought friends. Just be happy they weren't your
buddies, or I'd be hauling you off right now."

    in -- an (?)

Thor's brows narrowed at the implications, and she leveled a scowl at the
officer, leaving no doubt as to her opinion of them. "I have no such allies,
and I assure thee they were not mine companions. I have no peers here on
Midgard."

    Ahem.


    Keiichi frowned, watching the newscaster's reports of the entire affair at the airport with only a mild amount of interest.

    Skuld, however, leapt up and pointed at the screen the moment the woman on the screen announced that she had 'no peers on Midgard'.

    "There it is!" she yelled, glaring at the television in irritation. "So _that's_ who... Oooo! Well, we'll see about that!"

    Keiichi blinked, surprised, as a faint, gleaming blue light emerged grom Skuld's goddess symbol, and with it, the woman on the screen vanished as well. "Huh?" he managed dumbly.

    "Connection reset by peer," Skuld announced smugly.


    ... and I can tell that I'd best leave this for Mr. Tymes next time, since he's much better at it than I am.

She wondered if she should contact her 'Uncle' Peter in America about the
problem. During one of his visits, her father's old friend had once
mentioned the difficulties with heroes in the United States and what
measures he felt should be taken to control them. From what she had gleaned,
his attitude concerning them was very similar to her own. He was an
influential man in his government. Perhaps it was a matter worth looking
into.

    Lost on me...

"You're bring transparent, Pop, but you're also right. Give me that damn
costume. I'll play the icon of super heroism, at least long enough to kick
those four guys butts. No matter how far they ran, it ain't going to be far
enough to escape me."

    bring -- being

*That's my boy.* Genma handed Ranma the shield and outfit, relieved to allow
Captain Japan to save the day once again.

    Hmm.

"That wont' be necessary. I can summon it here with my armor. The tools I
need to modify the  equipment will be onboard."

    wont' -- won't

Under her helmet, Kodachi grimaced. Having a secret identity took some
getting used to. Still, it was a mistake that was easily rectified. "I have
no small ability in the field of electronics. Whereas I am nowhere near as
brilliant as the beautiful genius, Miss Kodachi Kunou, I have capabilities
that far surpass the average layman. Modifying the sensor systems aboard the
quinjet will be simplicity itself for one of my numerous talents.
Ohohohohoho!"

    Heh.

"Mind of I tag along? The name's Captain Japan, and I have a personal score
to settle with those jerks too."

    of -- if (?)

"He's coming along!" Three voices said as one.

    Heh.

The words had escaped Thor's mouth before she realized it, though she felt
no regrets and meant every word. This Captain fellow appeared to be a prime
specimen of manhood with an impressive physique that bulged in all the right
places and a height that allowed him to reach a level almost to her
forehead, a rarity among the Japanese. His bearing displayed a combination
of confidence and power, and she found herself being instantly attracted to
this newcomer, even if for some odd reason his outfit and shield bore an
uncanny resemblance to that Bucky harlot.

    Yeesh.

Resentment rose in Daredevil. He could tell from the sounds of their voices
that all three were interested in the Captain for reasons other than
practicality. Hawkeye's interest surprised him most of all. The blind youth
made a mental note never to change clothes in the archer's presence. Still,
that he was so casually ignored in favor of what his radar sense detected as
little more than a walking side of testosterone and muscle irked him to no
end. He vowed to keep a close 'watch' on this Captain Japan. Daredevil knew
he was twice the man the egotist was, and would be eager to prove it at
every opportunity.

    Hmmm.

Well, another chapter down. Originally I anticipated everything I had
outlined in my head to take only one 120K or so chapter. Boy was I wrong. It
nearly doubled in anticipated size. Looks like 'Ten Rings' will be three
minimum, to possibly four chapters, but very unlikely to stretch beyond
that. We'll see as things progress.

    Was amusing. Curious as to how things will turn out, though...

Special thanks to
Gary Ee
Christopher Horton
William Morse