Mangatripper
By Ewen "Blackbird" Cluney
Episode 3

Anime comes in a lot of forms; it's a moving target where the
moment you make a generalization someone can point out half a
dozen titles that do the opposite. This was something I hadn't
taken into account when I was pondering what sort of world Kasumi
and I might find ourselves in next.
	Although I was relieved to wind up someplace new in a way
that didn't involve being rendered unconscious, I would later
find that to be a very small consolation in the general mess that
was soon to ensue.
	We were in a hot, damp room, surrounded by sounds of running
water on all sides. It didn't tame long for me to note the
distinctly female silhouettes behind the frosted glass panels
that decorated the sides of the room.
	We were in a women's shower room. If there was one thing all
my anime viewing had taught me about being in such places, it was
to never, ever do it. The average villain is hard-pressed to
produce a fortress that is more dangerous to intruders than a
simple girls' locker room.
	Motioning to Kasumi to be quiet, I crept as quietly as I
could manage towards the door. I was already fatigued, and now
nervous too on account of the impending discovery that every
anime clich� seemed to be conspiring to bring about.
	I turned to check on Kasumi; she was looking around warily,
wondering, it seemed, what had led me to such heights of
paranoia. At that moment my concerns proved to be far more
justified that I could've imagined, as my head collided with
something soft and round.
	A shove from the owner, combined with sheer shock, sent me
to the floor and took Kasumi along for the ride. I had just run
face-first into the ample chest of a tall, imposing woman with
shoulder-length blue hair. She might've been pretty had her face
not been so contorted with rage and disgust. "Males, " she
sneered, "are forbidden here."
	It took me a moment to realize that she was speaking not to
me, but to Kasumi. A moment too long, because I had started to
emphatically apologize when a fist struck me in the temple. The
force with which that woman hit me was astonishing; it carried me
a good four or five feet sideways and to the ground.
	The world exploded with an unending flow of pain on the side
of my head. I was dimly aware of Kasumi looking over me with
concern, then shouting. The place became much more crowded. But
my eyes weren't quite focusing and my ears were ringing... and
the _pain_. I was getting a feeling of cold dread in the pit of
my stomach. I felt Kasumi being pulled away from me, shrieking,
and I was aware of a warm, coppery-smelling liquid dripping down
the side of my head.
	As my vision started to clear, a sense of helpless
indignation rose up in me. Kasumi was surrounded by about a dozen
or so women, some wearing towels, others naked. Four of them were
pinning her to the floor, each holding a limb. Kasumi's glasses
were a few feet away from me, one lens cracked (they probably
would've done more were they not all in bare feet). Watching the
ringleader - the others were cheering her on with the name
"Azalea" - unbutton the jacket of Kasumi's uniform, with the look
on her face making it clear that much more would come off
afterwards, filled me with powerless rage. I had done something I
had believed totally impossible; I had met and (more or less)
befriended my favorite anime character, and now I was being
forced to watch her be _violated_ with my own eyes.
	I felt sick, and not just because of the blow I'd taken. Not
for the first time or the last, I got a bit of inspiration from
Excelion. Not everyone understands why the Excelion theme has a
line that goes "I can't be brave like you, but I can't be quiet
anymore" (that leads into the chorus with the line in English
that gives the song in the title, "Call My Name"). The song is
about standing up for what you believe in, regardless of what you
have to overcome.
	With her blouse and skirt pulled off, Kasumi continued
screaming as she was turned over and they made ready to take off
the bra. Those women around her responded to her struggles and
cries with cruel laughter and vicious taunts. I was bleeding and
my head hurt like hell, but I felt that I couldn't stand by and
watch any longer; I did the first thing that came to mind, which
in retrospect I now realize was probably a very bad choice.
	Pulling myself to my feet, I yelled, "Leave her alone!"
	All eyes were on me; Kasumi regarded me with tearful hope,
the others with venomous revulsion. The beating of my heart was
like thunder in my ears in the silence that followed.
	The blue-haired woman - Azalea - dropped Kasumi's blouse to
the floor and took a step closer to me. "Who the fuck are you?"
	Not flinching under that glare wasn't easy, but I managed
somehow. Maybe I was too zoned to fully appreciate it or
something. "My name is Gabriel Collins." I replied evenly.
	She frowned. "You want us to leave her alone? Why the hell
should we? We bust our asses every day, fighting for what you
believe in. What about you?"
	Usually I'm not too good with words; I tend to think of
really scathing retorts a couple days after the fact. But this
time the obvious reply came to me immediately. "It looks like
this will be my first time."
	Before I could react, she motioned to two of her comrades,
who wasted no time in pinning me up against the wall. My physical
condition was average at best, and they were surprisingly strong,
so there was little chance of escape.
	"You have spirit," she mused, looking at me appraisingly.
"But not much else."
	My arms, held roughly against the wall, were already aching,
and the bleeding on my temple hadn't quite stopped. I went
through the anime I'd seen in my head for a solution. The
situation was that a villain had captured the heroes, humiliated
and beat them. This was followed by:
1.	A heroic interruption (e.g., Tuxedo Kamen)
2.	The villain deciding that the lesson (s)he was actually
trying to teach had been learned.
3.	The hero(es) find some last reserve of power to defeat their
opponents (e.g., when Kenshin fought Jin-e).
	Options one and two meant waiting and hoping, which I
couldn't afford, and number three seemed equally unlikely. If I
could just come up with a fourth; they might be anime characters
but I wasn't.
	"Kasumi! Can you-!" I was given a punch to the stomach, hard
enough to make me cough up some blood in classic anime style, but
Kasumi seemed to have gotten the message anyway. Her body was
surrounded by fitful flashes of blue, which were enough to
scatter her captors. "I-I don't know if I can do it!" she cried.
	I'd forgotten; using the power of Excelion required a
certain level of self-confidence, something she was surely
lacking in the aftermath of that ordeal.
	"You can!" I countered. "I believe in you!" I was rewarded
with another punch to the stomach for my efforts, so hard that my
feet left the ground and I came down slumping in the iron grips
of the two women that held me, gasping for air.
	While the others were ready to flee, Azalea was not
intimidated by Kasumi's display. When the magical sword was
halfway formed, Kasumi found herself grabbed by the throat,
flipped over, and slammed on the ground. Somehow I managed to
wrench free - adrenaline can do some amazing things, even if they
become costly later on. I lunged forward and managed to catch a
wicked blow meant for Kasumi. Pain compounded by agony shot
through my back. With my hazy vision I think I saw Kasumi's face,
looking at me and crying.
	I don't think I've ever performed such an act of self-
sacrifice before. There was no premeditation at all, just a
reflexive act to protect her from harm. Somewhere in the haze of
pain a fleeting hope began to rise; in most any anime this was
about where things would turn around.
	"I believe in you." I repeated, though it was no more than a
hoarse whisper.
	Kasumi attempted a reassuring smile as she stood up. I was
too hurt for it to matter. What I remember of the next few
moments is only hazy details; the world seemed to explode with
blue light. I'm sure I slipped in an out of consciousness a few
times, and I think I might've been delirious because...
	It sounds like something a stupid fanboy would say, and it's
not like I really remember it clearly at all. I might've been
delirious like I said, but... I have a faint memory of Kasumi's
lips meeting mine.
	Well, anyway. The next thing I was fully aware of was being
carried down a long metal corridor by Kasumi. She had my arm
draped across her shoulders and was fully clothed again, though
severely slowed down by my weight. I blinked and started walking
on my own feet, though I found that I still needed her support to
stay up.
	"Are you alright?" she asked. There was a faint edge of fear
to her voice.
	"Getting there." I replied. "Where are we?"
	She took a deep breath, shuddering a little as she did.
"Some kind of spacecraft. Part of a fleet, it looks like."
	My mental facilities were making a faster comeback that I
would've expected, even though I was wincing a little with each
step from the lingering pain. I was trying to put this all in
place in my mind. The scene we'd left behind was like something
out of a sadistic and possibly hentai high school type anime, but
we were unquestionably in a science fiction setting.
	"Why did you do all of that for me?" Kasumi didn't stop
walking, but I could feel her look of concern.
	"Dunno..." I mumbled. That was partly true; I'd acted on
emotion rather than conscious thought, and I was still in the
process of sorting out what feelings had led me to try such a
crazy-ass stunt.
	"You don't _know_? You could've been _killed_! You nearly
_were_!" She shuddered, on the verge of tears. Feelings of guilt
began to form at the edges of my consciousness. "Tell me, do I
_really_ mean that much to you?"
	Before I could try to formulate an answer, footsteps sounded
in the corridor. Kasumi looked around frantically, but there
seemed to be no way out; the corridor was impossibly long and
seemed to offer no side exits.
	The figure that emerged from the distance was a tall
imposing bishounen with long while hair and steel-gray eyes,
dressed in a black uniform covered with a black leather trench
coat. I took note of the katana sheathed at his side. When he saw
us, he frowned. In short order a pair of boys - it was odd for me
to think of teenagers as boys, but they were so emphatically
boyish and effete I had little choice.
	The bishounen shook his head sadly. "Those girls... simply
no conception of how to do things _properly_."
	Out of the frying pan...
	That was about the last thing I'd wanted to deal with today.
I'd already had enough of bishounen freaks with that last guy. I
mean, I try to be accepting of people of other sexual
orientations  - my sister is bi after all - but these bishounen
were apparently conspiring to give my efforts at tolerance a
major setback.
	One of the boys nodded in agreement. "They're so scary,
Xavier-sama..."
	 The bishounen smiled and tousled the boy's hair before
returning his attentions to us and finally noticed Kasumi.
	"You however... You will be ideal for my master's needs."
Damn but this guy was good at sounding sinister. If the tone of
his voice was any indication... results of the needs of his
"master" could be anything from what this Xavier was undoubtedly
contemplating for me up to and including a slow and painful
death.
	Kasumi apparently hadn't missed the veiled threat either,
because she cringed at his words.
	Which, it occurred to me, we'd heard from another bishounen
not too long ago. "Who-" I started to say before I fell into a
painful fit of coughing. "Who is your master?"
	"Not that it's any of your concern, but he is called Lord
Velirion." The name sounded faintly familiar, but I just couldn't
place it. "Don't worry," he added. "You'll meet him soon enough,
and hopefully he'll let me keep you."
	Remaining calm at that point was a considerable challenge,
but I was just too tired and hurt to have the energy necessary to
get properly angry.
	"Come." he snapped as he began walking down the corridor.
The two boys were quick to follow suit. "If you do as I say you
won't be harmed. Much." When we hesitated, he turned back and
frowned. "Unless of course you'd rather be left in the care of
those female troops; they're all rather tense from all these
battles, and I suppose they could use some playthings to
entertain them."
	It seemed we had little choice at that point. I was
sincerely hoping Kasumi had a good idea as to what we could do to
get out of this mess, because I was fresh out of brilliant
schemes.
	As they walked, it became clear that Xavier was favoring the
blonde boy, so the dark-haired one pouted and finally fell into
step beside us. The way he regarded me made me shudder, because
he seemed to already consider me to be one of his fellows. "My
name is Jean. What's yours?"
	"Gabriel Collins." I muttered. "And this is Kasumi." If
nothing else I figured I might be able to get some information
out of him. If knowledge was power... we were pretty much screwed
there too right now.
	As it turned out, he was quite forthcoming. "Well, Gabriel.
Before you ask, this ship is part of the United Earth Alliance
fleet that has been fighting a losing battle against a race of
hostile aliens. Men use power suits and women pilot aerospace
fighters."
	"So why were those women so psychotic?"
	He sighed. "There has been a growing trend of divisiveness;
it's been seen in the military before, between ground troops and
pilots. However now there are rumors that a faction of men is
going to attempt a coup."
	"Under these circumstances," Xavier interrupted. "A man with
my... _charms_ can go far. They suspect nothing, but soon this
ship and its weaponry will become Lord Valirion's property."
	We entered a large room, filled with countless gadgets whose
purpose I could only guess at. In the dim light I could see
several figures - more teenaged boys in uniform - who immediately
snapped to attention at Xavier's appearance. He nodded to them.
	"Prepare the parachronic conveyor," he ordered. "I have a
delivery for Lord Valirion." The boys launched into a flurry of
activity, working control panels like there was no tomorrow.
	Before I could object, I was pulled away from Kasumi and led
to a padded seat. Kasumi was being led to a raised platform, lit
from below by a soft blue glow - I was beginning to realize what
a "parachronic conveyor" really was. One of the boys seemed to
station himself next to me. "I've heard that Lord Vailirion has
been looking for a girl with ice-blue eyes," he explained
conspiratorially, "for the ritual he's planning."
	That was enough to convince me to take action. Another bold,
crazy-ass scheme was forming in my head. "Risky" was not
sufficient of a word, but no other solutions were presenting
themselves and the consequences of not acting seemed dire indeed.
A pathetic, hopeless future full of self-loathing loomed
overhead.
	Acting it what turned out to be the few seconds I had left,
I pulled one of the thick illustration books out of my backpack -
somehow I'd managed to hold onto it through this whole ordeal -
and hurled it at a boy who was operating some kind of control
panel. Whatever occurrences he'd been anticipating, being
blindsided by 263 pages of the artwork of Hitoshi Asakawa was
very far removed from the list. Sheer alarm brought his hands
spasming down on the control panel in what was surely the wrong
manner. The book, in its fall, added to the clatter of keys, but
by that time I was halfway across the room.
	The place was suddenly fully of panicked shouts, and the
platform on which Kasumi was standing started throwing up
rainbow-colored sparks by the time I reached her. Xavier had
drawn his sword, but was quickly realizing the futility of that
	What happened next is hard to explain. I still don't quite
understand it. At first it was like I was seeing bits of my past,
from mundane everyday details to the dark times I already told
you about, and the events of the con. The time I'd spent with
Kasumi seemed to zoom by. Well, I suppose I was only a few hours
by that time, but it seemed a lot longer.
	What came next was the part that's so difficult. What I
_think_ was happening was that I saw several different possible
futures at once, and it was too much information for my brain to
really process correctly. I saw myself attending the rest of the
convention feeling deeply depressed. I saw myself beating the
hell out of Jack and ending up in jail. I saw myself reading the
book of Excelion. I saw Kasumi and I getting married... There
were lots more, but those are the ones that stuck in my mind.
	Well, that's not entirely true. Some of the things I saw I
won't talk about. Especially where Xavier is concerned. Suffice
it to say that there's a 50% chance that he'd seriously regret
his designs for me, but it wouldn't do me any good.
	Christ. I've spent the whole night typing. I'm going to have
to finish this tomorrow. I have the day off anyway. This is
halfway point - it's like my little adventure was a 6-part OAV
series. Maybe anime worlds naturally tend to have things happen
in anime series formats. I don't think I could've made it through
a 26-episode TV series.
	The next part is... weird. It'll have to wait until
tomorrow, but suffice it to say that my actions in making an
escape had consequences.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewen "Blackbird" Cluney                     blackbird@blackbird.nu
Blackbird's Domain                        http://www.blackbird.nu/
The Official Thrash Home Page          http://thrash.blackbird.nu/
Knight Kevlar of the Immortal Frog        Silver Knight of Mihoshi
              "Be nice to me; I might just develop
             psychokinetic powers and destroy Tokyo!"
------------------------------------------------------------------

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