In a message dated 12/30/2001 1:30:00 AM US Mountain Standard Time,
lwf58@socal.rr.com writes:
It'd be a different story at the end of Volume 38, when Ranma had, of
> course, defeated several sayajin-level fighters. We just can't have him
> coming in out of the blue and flicking aside the very model of a modern
> Youma General without getting in some hardcore training first.
>
> Simply wouldn't be proper otherwise!
You really shouldn't mention lead-ins like that... It gets people
thinking.
It does, doesn't it? ^_^
Therefore, I dedicate this to Benjamin A. Oliver. You can lay the
blame
for it solely on him.
(Sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!)
Thanks! That was a GREAT rendition!
Kudos to you! That song's a TOUGH one to adapt and
to get the meter and rhyme scheme correct.
It had details I didn't even think of. Here's how I did it, back
in Ch. 9 of NETTG. Jadeite had been turned into a CUTE
little girl, enrolled in school and all that stuff, and had just
averted an attack by Happosai. 'She' had been asked how
she could do such a thing, and:
"Well, I'll tell you..." Jade said.
Music began in the background...
The small, cute blonde girl smiled, taking a deep breath,
looking lovably adorable as she did, and started singing.
o/I am a youma general!\o
The class sang back enthusiastically.
o/Hurrah for the youma general!\o
o/And it is, it is a glorious thing to be a youma general!\o
o/Hurrah for the youma general, hurrah for the youma general!\o
Terra raised a hand. "Um, wait... That's the Pirate King song,"
she said in a very nice, supportive tone. The music ground to a halt.
"I'm not sure, but... I believe you want the Major General one."
Jade paused, holding a hand to her mouth as she thought about
it. "Hmm... Yes, I suppose you're right."
Different music began to play.
Jade cleared her throat, stood up straight, and started singing
once again.
o/I am the very model of a modern Youma-General,
I've castigation negligible, cannibal, and visceral,
I knew the queen of Luna, and I fought the war millennial
From Omicron to Betelgeux, in fashion astronomical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with ebbings enervational,
I understand depletions, both the planned and unintentional,
Concerning draining energy I'm known throughout the Universe,\o
Jade stopped and frowned as she mentally went over the
song's rhyming scheme. "Universe..." She smiled. "Got it."
o/With many gleeful hints about the purpose of the Negaverse!\o
The class sang a chorus in response.
o/With many gleeful hints about the purpose of the Negaverse!
With many gleeful hints about the purpose of the Negaverse!
With many gleeful hints about the purpose of the Negaverse!\o
o/I'm very good at triggering and agitating agony;
I know the diabolic ways of breeding ill-born tragedy:
In short, in matters negligible, cannibal, and visceral,
I am the very model of a modern Youma-General.\o
o/In short, in matters negligible, cannibal, and visceral,
She is the very model of a modern Youma-General.\o
The music slowed down. Jade matched it with the tempo of her
singing and began to pace among the students to help emphasize the
main points of the song.
o/I know our recent hist'ry, Queen Beryl's and her care of talks;
I combat callow klutzes, I enjoy creating paradox,
I fight with necromancies all the convictions of Serenity,
With magics I can crush representational regality;
I can tell undoubted Pegasi from Mistress Nine and Kaolinite,
I know the galling guffaw from the laughing of that Zoicite!
Then I can bring a doom of which I've made my minions' fail immune,\o
The blonde singer paused, a bemused expression on her face.
"Fail immune..."
The crowd started whispering amongst themselves.
"So... is the song over?"
"Probably... She'll never get that one..."
Jade glared momentarily at that last speaker. She grinned and
held up a hand to quiet the group and accent the line she just came
up with.
o/And cripple all the heirs of that infernal nuisance Sailor Moon!\o
Without missing a beat, the students continued singing along.
o/And cripple all the heirs of that infernal nuisance Sailor Moon.
And cripple all the heirs of that infernal nuisance Sailor Moon.
And cripple all the heirs of that infernal nuisance Sailor Moon.\o
o/Then I can smite a Senshi girl with horrifying torture,
And tell you ev'ry detail of the Moon Kingdom's culture:
In short, in matters negligible, cannibal, and visceral,
I am the very model of a modern Youma-General.\o
o/In short, in matters negligible, cannibal, and visceral,
She is the very model of a modern Youma-General.\o
The background music added a couple of filler notes.
Jade took a short breath, looked at the excited looks of
the other girls in the class, and sang as quickly and as flawlessly
as she possibly could.
o/In fact, when I know what is meant by "cardian" and "Vadianne",
When I can work in spite, of many losses and a harridan,
When such attempts at slaughters and surprises I'm around to reap,
And when I know precisely what is meant by the "Eternal Sleep",
When I have learnt what research has been made in ancient wizardry,
When I know more of magics than a warlock at his apogee--
In short, when I've a disregard for Sailor Pluto's 'destiny',\o
Jade took a deep breath and smiled.
o/You'll... say a better Youma-General has never forced a plea!\o
Most of the class smiled at this as they resumed singing.
o/You'll say a better Youma-General has never forced a plea.
You'll say a better Youma-General has never forced a plea.
You'll say a better Youma-General has never forced a plea.\o
Without pausing, Jade went directly into the finale.
o/For my villainary powers, though I'm mighty and extr'ordan'ry,
Have nearly been brought down to the beginning of th' ordin'ry;
But still, in matters negligible, cannibal, and visceral,
I am the very _model_ of a modern Youma-General.\o
o/But still, in matters negligible, cannibal, and visceral,
She is the very model of a modern Youma-General.\o
Several notes played as Jade made her way over to the sack
that the old man had dropped when she blew him into the next
millennium. In half a second, she had identified and retrieved
the stolen objects.
She deftly put her possessions away, took a bow, and sat down
with a flourish, just as the music drew to a close.
The class cheered and applauded.
The intercom crackled, somehow managing to quiet everyone
down. [Will the ladies from the Performance Arts classes _please_
return to their classrooms.]
The girls that had entered in pursuit of the old pervert
looked at each other, shrugged, and exited.
Some high-fived Jade on their way out.
That thar'z how we do it!
...
You know, there should be more song parodies in fanfics. They're
hard to do right, but well worth the effort!
Here's a preview for NETTG 10-2:
'Tim glared at Death. "Okay, okay. I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!"
Under his breath he grumbled, "Darn natural order of things..."
WHAT WAS THAT?
"Nothing," 'Tim replied, then let out an aggrivated sigh and
turned back toward his physician and his wide-eyed girlfriend. "Just
sit right back and you'll hear a tale; a tale of a fateful trip, that
started from a Martian port aboard a tiny ship. The mate was tiny,
wussie-thing, the skipper slightly, too. Eight passengers took off
that day for a three hour tour! A three hour tour!"
Ukkyo frowned meaningfully at the doctor as her boyfriend's
voice went into a trilling sing-song of the words.
"The rebels started rising up, the tiny ship was toast! If not
for the courage of the fearless king, the Koifish would be lost! The
Koifish would be lost!"
Death started scraping his foot to the music, making a sound
like the echo of a fading cardiograph.
"The ship crashed on the shore of a Terran isle, with Lord
Tranquil-itieee! The Princess, too! The Stardragon, and his Elf!
Sailor Mars! Terra's servants and Mary Ann, there at Dee-Point!"
"I'm getting elevated brain activity," the doctor whispered
to Ukkyo. "Would you like to watch?" He pointed at a screen by the
head of the bed. "His flashbacks are _always_ very interesting to
watch."
"Now this is the tell of the castaways, they were there for
a short, short time, they had to make the best of things, it was
an uphill climb. The Moon King and the Princess too, did do their
very best, to help the others survive, in the arctic island waste.
No comm, no magic, no escape pods, not a single escape route, like
Isildur versus Sauron, as helpless as can be. So join us here this
once my freinds, you're sure to shed a tear, from eight stranded
castways, here on 'Daddy's Last Staaaaaand!'"
The cook gaped at the imaginary physician. She looked over
at 'Tim. He kept spouting modified movie and television references.
"It's bound to be more coherent," the EMH offered.
"N' then the Princess told the General," 'Tim added in a
gruff voice, trusting a finger into the air, "Bam, zoom, straight ta
the Moon!"
Ukkyo glanced between the doctor and the pink-haired man.
"All right, all right!" she finally said.
There's SO much potential for song parodies out there, I can't believe it!
-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com
"We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
Resistance is and always has been: Futile."
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