Boredcollective@aol.com wrote:

In a message dated 12/29/2001 12:41:13 AM US Mountain Standard Time, brian@azurite.org writes:

 ...

 Roight. You can get a free pop3 e-mail account from softhome.net, if you need one...

Oh, no, no, no. We'z loikes it! Gives me color n' flava', it does!

I've got a UofA account, but typically I'm too lazy to go through the hassle
of transferring the material.

Besides, if I send it as an attachment, it doesn't cut out the internal dialogue,
characterized by the:

<>

And if the little carrot marks didn't show up in that blank space above, then
that's why attachments can be better in some respects.

    That would explain it. I just copy/past without word-wrapping (mozilla should automatically re-wrap my posts to 68 characters) and be done with it.

 Hm. Where IS Jason Liao?

Studying at the level of some University. Quite busy. I haven't heard from him
for quite some time now.

    Drat. Okay, thanks.

 Heh!

Actually, I think it was Amy Anderson, from the North American English dub,
who said that in the episode after she showed up as Sailor Mercury...

And I LIKED the dub. It made parodying it SO obnoxiously easy...

"Jedite," "Neflyte..."

    I think dubs are always easier to mock. Except for Black Heaven/Hard Rock Save the Space. That dub ruled.

And the Ginzuishou didn't get mentioned until much later in the series,
IIRC, but if I wanted to get the continuity completely right, I wouldn't have
Dumped Setsuna into Kasumi's role, now would I have?

...

Setsuna doesn't make a good Kasumi replacement, does she? (grin)

    No, and that's what makes it work so well. :)

>    *WARK*WARK*WARK!* [NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!!!!!!!!!!!]

 Protoss?

It could be anyone, since they all say that.

    I think the Zerg get a kind of sputtering noise, and the Protoss alam sounds like metal disks grinding somewhere in the neighborhood of 1000 RPMs in opposide directions, and the humans have a klaxon... but I haven't played in years.

Ahh, Brood War! Eh, who needs a happy ending? ^_^

    Point.

>    [Need a light? ...Let's buuurn!] the game's sounds continued.
> [Prepped and ready. Stat!]

 'Remind me to invite you to my next barbeque...'

Shingo hasn't clicked _that_ many times, has he?

    Was a joke to the ax/axe BBQ/barbecue/etc. bit from the prior chapter. :p

>    "Usagi!" Luna called, following her. "This is very important!"
> > >    In the kitchen, Tsukino Ikuko watched patiently as her daughter
> snatched a piece of toast and stuffed it in her mouth.

 Extra newline.

Okay, I pawned my [Esc] key and bought a (^_^) scene break.

    Good call, though I would have chosen the scroll lock.

 'arcane project'?

Spam n' eggs.

 That just made me shiver...

It should. ^_^

    In the Cthulu sense, I mean...

Hmm, is it proper to break a sentence without using a speech indicator
like that?

Must one always designate a 'said,' 'coughed,' spluttered,' 'spewed' sort
of action indicator into it? Just in case the answer was yes, I made a quick
revision:

    "Right," Kenji said with a nod, "I've still got scars from

    I believe it's possible to do without a speech indicator stylistically, but I've never managed to get it _right_. You might have. :/

>    "He drove a police car through the front door to get at you.
> You let that happen again, I'm taking it out of your allowance,"
> Ikuko admonished sternly.

 O_O

Gotta get them kids to school, don'tchaknow!

    I'm impressed.

>    *WHAM!* The sudden impact threw off the girl's already tenuous
> balance, sending her slamming face first into the sidewalk. She sat
> up and started to cry. "Waaaaaah! Why did you have to do that,
> Luuunaaa?"

 I'd have expected the claws to do some damage.

I felt it would make the situation a little cumbersome to jamm in another
action, but if all things must be accounted for...

    *WHAM!* The sudden impact threw off the girl's already tenuous
balance, sending her slamming face first into the sidewalk. She sat
up and started to cry, rubbing the shallow scratches in her neck.
"Waaaaaah! Why did you have to do that, Luuunaaa?"

    I think that works, but she didn't need her claws extended if she just knocked Usagi over... :p

How about this:

    "And," Usagi said, panicking as the claws drew closer, "what?
That was it, wasn't it?"

    I believe that's correct, but I'm not an expert... yet. :)

Apparently, I do. When I wrote it, I hadn't thought it necessary to phrase
it as such, but this could work:

    Far away, in the Furinkan district of the Nerima ward of that

    Just curious. ^_^;;;

 I'm getting Fushigi Yugi flashbacks.

Speaking of which, someone needs to do an SM/Fushigi Yuugi fusion that
replaces almost all of the Sailor Senshi with the Seishi from FY, leaving
Usagi surrounded by a few too many males fighting for her affection. It'd
make at least a good spamfic. The point?

Why climb a mountain? Because it's there.

    I have to finish that 'Fushigi Yakuza' spamfic first...

>    "We just came by to get some hot water," a blonde girl said.
> She had an 'odango' hairstyle and two pigtails which went down to
> her ankles. She brushed back her bangs, revealing a crescent moon
> marking on her forehead. Also, her long white gown was just a tad
> wet, and clinging to-

 Thought so.

Well, I guess, even with the addition of a modest slip, a dress like that
can have some difficulties in that respect. I mean, it's not exactly sheer,
but still...

    Heh.

>    *ROOARR* The skies seemed to darken as a massive power
> struggle took place inside the temple...

 ... Cherry/Happosai?

This is a Ranma fusion/crossover. Guess. ^_^

It's not Lukkosai, I'm saying that much.

    Heh! Happosai, then.

 Er... person the pun but, 'hitting' lacks impact.

One bad pun deserves another! ^_^

    *WHAM!* The Luna-P dove forward, crashing with skull-shattering
force to the side of the man's head, sending him skidding across the
floor until his face slammed up against the wall, little birdies
fluttering around his head.

    Luna-P settled back down behind Genma.

    "You were saying?" the girl asked, narrowing her eyes slightly.

    Soun slowly sat up, dazed for a minute. Slowly, his vision
returned to normal, allowing him to look back at his friend. "Ooooo-
kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, you win, I guess." He coughed. "Sheesh."

How was THAT for impact? ^_^

    Would be better if they were playing chess and Soun said, "Crown me," but otherwise, that works just great. ^_^

>    "Oh, that's nice," Ranma replied, taking in the scene. He
> frowned. "Did I get a schedule or anything?"

 Er... schedule? Don't they all share a classroom, and have the teachers wander about?

Yup! But I didn't know about that when I wrote the chapter two years ago,
so I guess that means they get a schedule that tells them what teacher's
going to walk in at any given hour.

    ... That's useful. :p

 Where's the lightning strike in the background?

You want it, you got it!

    Suddenly, there was the distant crash of ominous thunder. The
young man looked up and noticed that the skys were getting dark. It
was probably going to rain soon.

    He's got rythm, he's got style, he's got flair, he's...

    ... Benjamin A. Oliver.

    Honestly, that ties in so well that I'm baffled. That was awesome.

 DURANT: Nothing says love like violence.

Ain't that the truth! At least in the Ranma series. ^_^

Got a chance to thumb through a section of Ranma manga volume 38.

My response: "Okay, so Ranma IS supposed to end up with Akane."
Then later: "But when was the last time I cared about what was SUPPOSED
to happen?" ^_^

    Right. You must be another of the army of clones. Do you have a webpgae I can link from my homepage?

>    *BAM*WHACK!*THWACK!*BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAAAAAAAAAM!!!!*
> A cloud of dust arose as Ranma proceeded to, shall we say, get
> medieval on the scrawny hides of the attacking group. Much of the
> action could not be seen, but the sounds of battle echoed across
> the scholastic campus, confirming the fact that it was, by any
> standards, one heck of a fight.

 Cop-out! Cop-out!

*Alarms blare* "Catch that policeman, bounty hunters!!!!!!!!!"

    Hah!

 Or are you going to tell me that Shingo's Fog of War leaked out of the game?

^_^

What? You want me to describe how Ranma sidestepped dozens of bokken
swings while simultaneously knocking out four attackers at a time while
balancing on one foot in the Stuffed Vulture position while snatching a stick
and swinging it around against the heads of all the juniorclassmen while
singing "We Will Rock You" and playing three games of paper-rock-scissors?

I mean, is that what you really want? (I'd need a minimum of three people to
tell me that for me to put that in. Fight scenes can be hard to calculate...)

(Roman Brutus voice) "I have not come to praise Ranma, but to bury him!"

ANOTHER fusion that needs to be done...

"Hey, like, et tu, figureless tomboy?!" (dies at the foot of Genma's statue)

    That was brilliant.

    But I only made that comment as an excuse for the Fog of War crack. ^_^;;;

 which had -- who had (?)

Oops. Gotta fix that. (sound of a hammer and chisel against stone)

    Heheh!

>    The young man raised his wooden sword high above himself,
> both hands grasping the bokken as clouds began to gather in the sky.
> "FOR THE HONOR OF MY HOUSE, MY CLAN, MY FAMILY... I AM THE BLUE
> THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH!!!"

 I'm getting HE-MAN flash-backs here...

"BY THE POWER OF THE PIGTAILED GODDESS, I AM HE-KUNOOOOO!!!"

ANOTHER fusion that needs to be done.

    You're like a creativity-fueled version of a breeder reactor.

    That's a good thing! :)

 Or is this the anti-truancy department...

I think so. Everyone's gotten sort of paranoid since the new administration
stepped in.

    Justifiably.

>    Kuno closed his eyes, knelt down in the grass, and held
> his bokken in front of him. "I pray to the gods and my ancestors...
> There is one who threatens the will and chastity of a young maiden.
> There is none left to oppose this foul demon but I. My circumstances
> are indeed dire, for he has far more power than I, and I fear that
> I may not be able to defeat him. I pray to you, those that will
> hear me, to send me aid... I ask that... you send me someone to
> help and guide me through this... I wish-"

 Iago you are not, Kuno.

Lago, lago... Refresh my memory. Which Lago?

I keep thinking of Laguna from Final Fantasy 8. (Laguna was probably the
best character in the game, and that's not saying much...)

    "My name is Iago Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

    Of course, I probably spelled it wrong, so we're going to get a flood of e-mails correcting me, but you get the joke, right? :p

Funny how that guy's mind works, innit? ^_^

    Indeed.

 Extra newline. I thought that the school doors had closed, though.

True... So how'z 'bout 'dis:

    "Ah... An artifact to bring about the destruction of that
_accursed_ Saotome... I will be honored to deliver it!" He
placed the girl on the ground and took the kettle. "I thank
you for your assistance, young sprite! May we meet again!"

    With that, Kuno marched with determination toward the
school. His purpose was clear in his mind as he banged his fist
up against the massive school door. "LET ME IN!"

    A large tube descended from a above, lifting him inside with
gale-force suction.

You like?

    Heh. It works. :p

    I shouldn't be this nit-picky in a parody, but every nit garners so many more good jokes, I can't stop myself!

>    *Vroom-vroom!* There was a brief revving of an engine
> behind her.

 ... you wouldn't.

You've read my work. You know I have no such inhibitions. ^_-

    No, no... I was innocent before reading this fic. :p

>    "Hello, little girl," the man said in a firm Austrian accent.
> He held out a hand. "Come with me if you want to live."

 ... perfect.

Required by law.

    That scene was just too beautiful.

 HEH!

Everything's going to be on the final. ^_^

    To paraphrase, "LOVELY!"

>    The woman looked at the student. "Otaku-san, I'm surprised
> you would ask such a question. This _is_ a vital step in fully
> understanding the course."

Daimon Making 101. Funny how it's suddenly become a required course.

    Of course.

 'Shameless Otaku'? This is a spoof on SIs? 

I couldn't think of a name, so for the sake of simplicity, let's say, yes,
it was a spoof on SIs.

    -_-

    I see.

 The '-san', I assume is intentional, even though it's in the prose?

It was intentional. If it's distracting or horrifically incorrect, I'll remove it.

    No, it lends the idea that he's an SI, and everyone should worship his perfection. :p I think it works.

>    *THWACK!* The boy's blow struck long before the small woman
> had a chance to fire off any pencils.

 Well, size DOES matter, I guess.

Tatewake surely could beat a _little_ daimon, couldn't he? ^_^

    I think he'd do great against vampires.

>    She tossed the heart crystal over to the prone Otaku-san,
> where it slipped silently into him. In a moment, he sat up, looked
> around, and stumbled over to his desk, groaning and muttering
> something about "the third time this week."

 Damn. He lived. ;)

Can't kill anyone this early in the series. We'll wait for the Invid to attack
in chapter three.

    ... Mommy.

>    Rei glanced to the other attentive students, then leaned over
> to whisper to Ranma, "Did you get all that? They're going to test
> us on it later."

Gotta take notes! Those Japanese High Schools can be tense!

    That's for sure...

>    Usagi nodded. "In, like, just about a week, EVERYBODY's going
> to be wearing them!"
> >    "Cats, Usagi-chan?" Naru asked, scratching her head.

 Ranma's gonna love that.

Indeed!

 Reminds me of Piro, actually...

Piro? Explain.

    http://www.megatokyo.com and http://machall.keenspace.com/

    Long story short, the cat on Ian's hat (http://machall.keenspace.com/d/20011217.html) is a Piro, who Piro of Megatokyo is named after. Patchomonkey could probably explain that more accurately. It's also not that important. :p

Oh, yes. Others have noted how it could work. It's a little known fact that
Quincy is the successor of the wealthy Disney line and Largo is just a very,
very warped version of Mickey Mouse.

    Heh. Fair enough.

Maybe I should start my fanfics with a public safety warning...

Ehhhhh, nobody's died (yet) as a result of reading my work (that I know of.
Haven't heard from Elsa Bibat for quite some time, though...).

    Ironic.

>    Once more, Genma found herself hiding and struggling to catch
> her breath. She sat against a vertical metal and concrete pillar,
> down on the wooden floor.

 Hehehehe... Perfect.

We all wanted to see Genma and Chibiusa hunted by the Terminator,
didn't we? Here's the next best thing. ^_^

    Better, actually.

Sort of... Not quite, but 'she' can do a reasonable, less powerful, facsimile.

    Close enough.

 Though... in this scenario, shouldn't Setsuna be showing up any second now?

Nah, I think she's content to let Genma stew for a bit.

    Since she knows it's not lethal, that fits perfectly. :)

 Oooh... Naughty. Is Haruka watching the schoolgirls covertly? Shame!

I think she's rather shameless at this point. ^_^;;;

    I stand corrected.

Haruka has been known to do things to get Michiru jealous...

    Ahh...

    Standing on a thick branch of a tall tree and clad only in
her white, princess-style shoes and surprisingly modest white slip,
Ranma tossed her pigtails back over her shoulders and started to
ring out her clothes.

    Duh. Right. :p

I think she's wearing one of those full-dress slips that covers only slightly
less area than the actual dress.

I worried a lot about this scene, asking my prereaders, "Ummmmmmmmmm,
what does a Moon Princess wear under her dress?"

"A very modest slip, I'd imagine," came the reply.

"Oh," said I, relieved.

Somehow..... I doubt Princess Serenity was the type to run around without
any underwear on. Besides, that's one of the parts that could bug Ranma
the most!

Normally, I shy away from this sort of question, but since this IS a Ranma
'fic, one has to bring this into consideration, what with the characters losing their outfits every other scene or so.

    Heh!

>    "Ergh," Ranma grunted in an unconsciously refined tone as she
> struggled on with her gown, "could you hold 'em off for me, Rei?"

 'em -- 'im (them as opposed to him.)

I'll think about that, but 'im tends to have sort of a Scottish lit to it...

    Does it? Interesting.

Always wondered why fanfic characters wouldn't speak propa'!

    Damned gratuitous English. ;)

>    A young woman in a business outfit, carrying a tape recorder,
> walked up to a stunned Ranma. "I'm working for the Furinkan High
> School Grand Inquisitor. Torturing minds want to know: What are
> your measurements in both forms?"

 Heh!

Which I still need to find out, BTW.

...

What? It's for a scene. Really. ^_^;;;;

    Of course. Purely in the interests of science.

>    "Do you sing any songs?"

 RANMA: I can sing everything from the first season of Robotech.

 ASSEMBLED STUDENTS: That'snicegottagobye!

 REI: ... That worked.

Sorry, that's been outlawed by international treaty. I don't think they'd get
away with it... ;)

    Hey, Eimi offered to sing, "To be in love," to Terry in chapter five of Process of Elimination. Settled on Suo Gan, but...

>    Soun laughed, shaking his head. He had almost thought that
> he worried about Genma, like he were his own daughter. Truly, what
> an odd thought!

 Heh! Soun vs. The Terminator.

Round one! Fight!

    Would be interesting...

It depends whose mind it hits, really...

    No, just a child hiding under a blanket, and it actually being an effective martial arts technique... it works.

 Only what?

Friend left in the world, he was about to say, I think.

The Truantator's programming read it as "little girl," "daughter," or something similar to that.

    Ah, right.

First round, and Ranma's at the beginning of the series. He might not
be able to win the first time...

    True.

It'd be a different story at the end of Volume 38, when Ranma had, of
course, defeated several sayajin-level fighters. We just can't have him
coming in out of the blue and flicking aside the very model of a modern
Youma General without getting in some hardcore training first.

    Heh. Be sure that Blade never hears this, or he'll correct your opinions.

 Oh no. The roses. Kuno.

 The pain... the pain...

Deep hurting. ^_^

    Indeed!

That would have been something, wouldn't it? Maybe I should write up a
scene where Kuno takes out a youma or a general for his Princess. ^_^

    Would be tres amusing.

 Aww...

Do we want a scene where Kuno kicks some righteous donkey? ^_^

    Erm... maybe not. :p

>    *Whoosh*BLAAAM!* Ranma dove aside as a large blue strike
> blasted out from the man's hand, tearing into the landscape
> behind her.

 'blue strike'? Of what?

Of Tide Clorox Blue!!!

No, of energy or lightning. ^_^

    Hey, bleach WOULD clean the pain off of the cells for anime, and dye the paper white for manga. It could work! ...But I don't think it should.

The battle is not the focus. It's just the icing on the cake, having some nice,
juicy German Chocolate chapters of confusion and people adapting to others'
personalities here and there.

    Fair enough.

Besides, Haruka doesn't care about the Dark Kingdom. She's more worried
about Herb and the crew, since she and Haruka had been pilfering magical
talismans from them for quite some time now...

    ... What?

The Musk, IIRC, include the group from which Herb, Mint and Lime originate.

I'm trying to be subtle and hint at the dragon Haruka and Michiru have been
taunting...

    I know who they are, just missed the hints. >_<

 I envy them, too.

Just have to make due and humbly accept whatever ego-crushing comments
may come our way.

I sure wish some people would pay attention and learn...

    Hey, I think I know who that's for...

> Eh, but what I lack in quality I make up for in volume. ^_^

 I wouldn't say that. ;)

I know. So I said it for you. ;)

    Touche!

 Looking forward to more!

Excellent! Gotta try and finish up NETTG 10-2 before the deadline, though...

I may be slow in my responses for a little while, so bear with me...

    My responses too, I'm trying to read NETTG... That's a lot of fic.

-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com

    "We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
     We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
     Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
     Resistance is and always has been: Futile."