Boredcollective@aol.com wrote:
ArbyFish Mailor-Daemon: 'Ello, GUV!
Attachments, attachments! An attachment's loiyfe fah me!
...
Roight. You can get a free pop3 e-mail account from softhome.net, if
you need one...
A lot of people were involved in the creation of this chapter.
Louis-Philippe Giroux wrote an entire scene for this. Jason Hanks
stuck with me throughout its creation. Jussi Nikander has been
helping me as of late. Jason Liao was a big help for some parts,
as was Joseph Fenton.
Hm. Where IS Jason Liao?
"The whole family's wacko..."
-Mizuno Ami, concerning the Tsukinos.
Heh!
She had already managed to repel one attack from the Dark
Kingdom, ruled by the evil Queen Beryl, who needs either energy
or some doohickey called the Ginzuishou to revive her Great Leader,
Queen Metallia.
needs -- needed (?)
*WARK*WARK*WARK!* [NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Protoss?
*BLAAAAM!*BLAM* [Need something destroyed?! Yavolt!]
Nope!
[Need a light? ...Let's buuurn!] the game's sounds continued.
[Prepped and ready. Stat!]
'Remind me to invite you to my next barbeque...'
[Upgrade complete!]
Hehehe...
"Usagi!" Luna called, following her. "This is very important!"
In the kitchen, Tsukino Ikuko watched patiently as her daughter
snatched a piece of toast and stuffed it in her mouth.
Extra newline.
"Bye, dear. Have a nice day," Ikuko called, not turning her
attention away from whatever arcane project it was that she tinkered
with on the countertop, also ignoring the talking cat...
'arcane project'?
That just made me shiver...
"Right," Kenji nodded, "I've still got scars from that." He
Missing speech indicator.
"He drove a police car through the front door to get at you.
You let that happen again, I'm taking it out of your allowance,"
Ikuko admonished sternly.
O_O
The black cat growled, then reared back on her hind legs and
leapt at the back of Usagi's neck, claws extended.
*WHAM!* The sudden impact threw off the girl's already tenuous
balance, sending her slamming face first into the sidewalk. She sat
up and started to cry. "Waaaaaah! Why did you have to do that,
Luuunaaa?"
I'd have expected the claws to do some damage.
"And," Usagi panicked as the claws drew closer, "What? That
was it, wasn't it?"
Missing speech indicator? Also, the dialogue appears to be two separate sentences, but you wrote them in the manner as though they were only one.
Far away, in the Furinkan area of the Nerima section of that
same city, a dark-haired girl in a blue school uniform looked with
a raised eyebrow at her recently drenched companion.
'area' 'section'... you mean same ward, different school district?
An elderly woman wearing a huge, jeweled turban poked her head
out the window and started shouting angry Arabic phrases at them,
shaking her fist.
O_o?
I'm getting Fushigi Yugi flashbacks.
"It's none of our business, though, really. We should be at
Furinkan High School by the time she starts throwing rubber
chickens."
Heh.
Ranma sighed. "But," she began, fingering her wet, clinging
skirt. I REALLY don't want to go to school like this."
skirt. I -- skirt. "I (Extra space, missing quotation)
"Don't worry," the raven-haired girl said as she turned towards
her and examined her with a critical eye, "The material doesn't look
_that_ thick. Your dress will probably dry off enough before we-"
eye, "The -- eye. "The (?)
Rei closed her eyes, sighed, and held up a hand. "I'm sorry.
You're right. I apologize." She looked away. "And besides," she
continued pensively, "Who knows how I might have acted in your
place."
"Who -- "who (?)
Rei nodded. "There's either," she paused as she thought,
"Doctor Mizuno's office or the Nerima Shrine. We don't have much
time, and the temple's closer, so let's go there."
Hehe...
"We just came by to get some hot water," a blonde girl said.
She had an 'odango' hairstyle and two pigtails which went down to
her ankles. She brushed back her bangs, revealing a crescent moon
marking on her forehead. Also, her long white gown was just a tad
wet, and clinging to-
Thought so.
The man frowned momentarily, then smiled and shrugged. "Okay,
whatever you say, Rei." He walked back into the shrine and closed
the door behind him.
*ROOARR* The skies seemed to darken as a massive power
struggle took place inside the temple...
... Cherry/Happosai?
"Does that mean I don't get to cut class looking for her?"
Usagi whined.
Perfect.
*WHAM!* The Luna-P dove forward, hitting a glancing blow
to the man's head, before settling back down behind Genma.
Er... person the pun but, 'hitting' lacks impact.
Genma narrowed her eyes and stood. "Not in this lifetime."
She looked at her friend. "Alright, boil some water. We can't
let that happen!"
Hehehe...
"Oh, that's nice," Ranma replied, taking in the scene. He
frowned. "Did I get a schedule or anything?"
Er... schedule? Don't they all share a classroom, and have the teachers wander about?
Ranma shrugged. "Eh, probably nothing I need to worry about."
He grinned cockily. "I can handle anything."
Where's the lightning strike in the background?
Rei nodded. "Umm-hmm. I'd consider it a _great_ personal
favor if you'd please go massacre the whole lot of 'em."
To quote:
DURANT: Nothing says love like violence.
*BAM*WHACK!*THWACK!*BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAAAAAAAAAM!!!!*
A cloud of dust arose as Ranma proceeded to, shall we say, get
medieval on the scrawny hides of the attacking group. Much of the
action could not be seen, but the sounds of battle echoed across
the scholastic campus, confirming the fact that it was, by any
standards, one heck of a fight.
Cop-out! Cop-out!
Or are you going to tell me that Shingo's Fog of War leaked out of the game? ^_^
Ranma climbed off the human hill, making sure to step on
as many heads as he could.
Heh!
"Redrum," another lost soul muttered.
HAH!
Another young man, which had watched the fight from the
sidelines, approached. He carried a long, slightly curved wooden
sword, and wore a white and blue cloth outfit that could be described
as resembling either a priest's outfit, or if you tilted your head
and squinted for a bit, something an ancient samurai might wear.
which had -- who had (?)
The other thought about this. "Quite correct... It _is_ proper
to introduce one's self..." He drew himself up to a straight posture.
"Come from honored family lines, trained in the finest swordsmanship,
Kendo, and experienced in the manner of the court, I am the Shooting
Star, the Raging Beetle, and the Rolling Stone..."
Beautiful.
The young man raised his wooden sword high above himself,
both hands grasping the bokken as clouds began to gather in the sky.
"FOR THE HONOR OF MY HOUSE, MY CLAN, MY FAMILY... I AM THE BLUE
THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH!!!"
I'm getting HE-MAN flash-backs here...
*Riiiing!* The first bell rang, issuing a five-minute
warning: Get to class... or you _will_ regret it.
I thought that they had four minutes to spare?
Or is this the anti-truancy department...
The large metal doors automatically closed behind them.
Within a few seconds, it finally began to rain, the sounds
of the droplets hitting the ground echoing throughout the nearly
empty school ground.
Eerie. Extra newline.
Kuno closed his eyes, knelt down in the grass, and held
his bokken in front of him. "I pray to the gods and my ancestors...
There is one who threatens the will and chastity of a young maiden.
There is none left to oppose this foul demon but I. My circumstances
are indeed dire, for he has far more power than I, and I fear that
I may not be able to defeat him. I pray to you, those that will
hear me, to send me aid... I ask that... you send me someone to
help and guide me through this... I wish-"
Iago you are not, Kuno.
"Ah!" Kuno exclaimed, standing. "My great ancestor, Kuno
Sounkun, sends to me a sprite, to assist me in my quest against
the foul spawn of the netherworld!"
GURK...
With that, Kuno marched with determination toward the
school, entering the titanic edifice, his purpose clear in his
mind.
"Well, that guy was a wacko," Genma muttered. "And where
do people get around calling me stuff like that!? It's either
'spore,' or 'sprite,' or..." She paused, brushing some of the
rainwater out of her hair. "And wouldn't you know it? I forgot
to bring..."
Extra newline. I thought that the school doors had closed, though.
*Vroom-vroom!* There was a brief revving of an engine
behind her.
... you wouldn't.
Sitting upon a Harley-Davidson motorcycle was a tall, muscular
man dressed in black leather. His hair was dark brown and his eyes
were covered by a pair of black sunglasses. His square-jawed
expression remained motionless on his clean-shaven face. Faint red
dots hued the centers of his eyes through the dark shades.
... you did.
"Hello, little girl," the man said in a firm Austrian accent.
He held out a hand. "Come with me if you want to live."
... perfect.
A man in a white lab coat stood, laughing maniacally above his
lab equipment.
Repetition, 'lab'.
The red-haired woman looked on in fascination.
A student's hand shot up. "Excuse me, Tomoe-sensei. Is
this going to be on the final?"
HEH!
The woman looked at the student. "Otaku-san, I'm surprised
you would ask such a question. This _is_ a vital step in fully
understanding the course."
...
Atsukamashii Otaku, who considered himself the most perfect,
pure-hearted, and all-knowing member of class, nodded. "Okay." He
began to take notes in elegantly-drawn characters, manipulating
his pencil in ways that he was sure would make most deities jealous.
Er...
'Shameless Otaku'? This is a spoof on SIs?
Kaolinite looked at him, smiled, and winked at Tomoe-sensei,
who smiled very broadly in return, raising his hands in front of
him and erupted into another fit of maniacal laughter.
The ovoid levitating above its broken beaker tilted in
Otaku-san's direction... and floated toward his pencil.
The '-san', I assume is intentional, even though it's in the prose?
*THWACK!* The boy's blow struck long before the small woman
had a chance to fire off any pencils.
Well, size DOES matter, I guess.
She tossed the heart crystal over to the prone Otaku-san,
where it slipped silently into him. In a moment, he sat up, looked
around, and stumbled over to his desk, groaning and muttering
something about "the third time this week."
Damn. He lived. ;)
Rei glanced to the other attentive students, then leaned over
to whisper to Ranma, "Did you get all that? They're going to test
us on it later."
...
*KERRUNCH!* Ranma smashed her dainty Moon Princess fist into
Kuno's bemused kendoist face.
Heh.
"I think Futaba-kun's a cuter girl than Ranma."
Hehehe...
Usagi nodded. "In, like, just about a week, EVERYBODY's going
to be wearing them!"
"Cats, Usagi-chan?" Naru asked, scratching her head.
Ranma's gonna love that.
Reminds me of Piro, actually...
A large, white sign leaned against an earth-mover read, "Coming
Soon: GENOM Enterprises, Inc." In much larger text below that, it
continued, "A subsidiary of Disney."
Ouch... it just works...
Genma blinked. "So... Disney isn't just one company?"
Ow... that one made me laugh so hard I hurt myself...
He pushed his sunglasses back into place, reached into his
jacket and drew out a shotgun that looked entirely too large to
have fit in there.
*Chk-CHK!* The man cocked his weapon and began his slow walk
toward the structure.
Once more, Genma found herself hiding and struggling to catch
her breath. She sat against a vertical metal and concrete pillar,
down on the wooden floor.
Hehehehe... Perfect.
"Kinshi Kinbakushou!" Genma shouted, quickly tying up the
black-clad biker with the rope, which was now glowed with a bright
aura.
Gold thread tight binding soar? I wonder if chibi-Usa's frame can make that work. Or any of the others, for that matter!
"OOOWWWIIIEE!!!" Genma cried in pain, holding her small fist
with her other hand. "What're you made out of?!?" she shouted at
him, in a daze from the pain. "Reinforced titanium?!"
Right.
It was over.
Probably not.
It was finally over.
Definately not.
She had used the most powerful weapon in her arsenal... and it
was over.
Though... in this scenario, shouldn't Setsuna be showing up any second now?
The little girl spun around wildly, releasing Ki blades at
key points along the building's superstructure, utterly destroying
this side's ability to stay upright.
this side's -- the sides (?)
Genma fell to her knees, exhausted from this effort. She
shielded her mouth and eyes as the choking dust passed her.
this -- the (?)
Her thoughts in this arena trailed off and her eyes widened
as she heard heavy footsteps behind her. She turned to see a pair
of glowing red eyes staring back at her from a half-metal face.
this arena -- that arena (?)
Haruka grinned back at her, standing on another branch and
leaning against the tree. She looked at the surrounding landscape.
"There's a nice view up here, wouldn't you agree?"
Oooh... Naughty. Is Haruka watching the schoolgirls covertly? Shame!
Haruka gave a soft chuckle and glanced through the concealing
leaves of the tree. "Why? Getting jealous?"
"Mmm... Just a little."
O_o?
Interesting.
With a flick of her wrist, Rei tossed the kettle to Ranma,
who had absolutely no difficulties catching it. "If I understand
your curse right," the part-time priestess said, "you'd probably
want to get back into that dress before you change back."
Eh? So what's he wearing?
"Ergh," Ranma grunted in an unconsciously refined tone as she
struggled on with her gown, "could you hold 'em off for me, Rei?"
'em -- 'im (them as opposed to him.)
Rei folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Osage no Hime,
huh? Speak Japanese, Kuno. I can't understand you."
...
A young woman in a business outfit, carrying a tape recorder,
walked up to a stunned Ranma. "I'm working for the Furinkan High
School Grand Inquisitor. Torturing minds want to know: What are
your measurements in both forms?"
Heh!
"Do you sing any songs?"
RANMA: I can sing everything from the first season of Robotech.
ASSEMBLED STUDENTS: That'snicegottagobye!
REI: ... That worked.
Soun laughed, shaking his head. He had almost thought that
he worried about Genma, like he were his own daughter. Truly, what
an odd thought!
Heh! Soun vs. The Terminator.
Genma's breathing grew more rapid as the seconds wore on.
"Okay, fine, forget it!" she shouted in the man's face, and jumped
out of his grip. She snatched a cloth sheet that had been lying
beside Soun's chair and wrapped itself around her, trembling.
Soun blinked. "That's not a very good hiding-"
"Goshin Dai Ryu Sei Fu!"
Genma vanished, the cloth dropping to the floor, just as
a humanoid figure in black leather, tattered flesh, and shining
metal strode in.
That works on so many levels...
The black-haired man sniffed. "That's my only-"
Only what?
Soun's tears died down as he noticed the badge on the
machine's jacket. "You're... a truant officer?"
THE truant officer, more likely.
Somewhere, a certain Time Guardian was laughing her head off.
"Oh my, this is better than Candid Camera," Sailor Pluto
commented, dabbing a tear from her eye.
^_^;;;
Ditto.
Jadeite returned a malevolent smile. "I understand."
...
That's going to be a short, sad fight, I'm afraid.
"None," Setsuna replied, "unless you are very clever." A
hint of a smile came to her lips. "You are not clever."
HAH!
Kuno shook his head. "Alas, no... I am unworthy of such a
wondrous pleasure. I come, rather," he said, slipping the dethorned
rose into the shocked girl's hands and holding up his bokken in an
open-palmed gesture of offering, "to serve thee. From this moment
onward, I swear my unwavering devotion to thy protection and thy
will. As I have been shown great favor this day, so I show to thee
my willingness to obey. I await thy command, my princess. I will
serve thee in any way thou wishest."
Oh no. The roses. Kuno.
The pain... the pain...
"Heh heh heh," a malevolent laugh resounded throughout the
area. "There you are..."
Kuno stood and Ranma looked up to see a short-haired blonde man
wearing what looked like a hyped-up boy's school uniform levitate to
a patch of ground near her. "Who are you?" the girl asked.
Oh, gods, dying at the hands of KUNO!
How shameful!
*WHAM!*Bam!* Before he could so much as land a blow, Kuno
was backhanded against a nearby tree. He slumped over, dazed.
Aww...
*Whoosh*BLAAAM!* Ranma dove aside as a large blue strike
blasted out from the man's hand, tearing into the landscape
behind her.
'blue strike'? Of what?
*WHROAR!* Then, out of nowhere, a huge, ringed orange ball of
energy rocketed toward Jadeite's back.
Ouch. Well, that pretty much renders the entire first season of enemies non-threatening without a little bit of tweaking...
"Doesn't ring a bell," the masculinely-dressed woman said.
"Probably not one of the Musk, though. Still, we should head back."
Eh?
Sailor Moon smiled. "Anyway, can you help me out of these
roots, Luna?"
Heh!
Part three is still in the works. Probably about half-done unless
it balloons and explodes like Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow, but hey,
that's half the fun. Some people can do nice, concise and beautiful
works in a sixth the space and tell a better story. I envy those
artists of prose. I haven't quite mastered that yet.
I envy them, too.
Eh, but what I lack in quality I make up for in volume. ^_^
I wouldn't say that. ;)
If anyone knows a way to properly improve my writing style, I'm
open to suggestions. Until then......
Looking forward to more!
-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com
"We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
Resistance is and always has been: Futile."