[FFML] [FFML][Ranma 1/2] Misty Chapter 1

Hello,

I posted this a long time ago before my muse became bemused with my inactivity and left for other writers. Lately, I've been somewhat reinspired and have written some more in this story. Here is the first chapter. I'll send the second later.

Misty - Chapter 1

The characters contained within are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. The only exception is the SI character. Ms. Takahashi has sold he rights of her characters to many companies. I will glumly cease and desist upon the request of Ms. Takahashi or any of her agents.

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Wondering how Machita would get out of her current predicament, I leaned back and stretched. I was in a comfortable, but cramped little den. There was a beige rocker-recliner with matching ottoman and a blue and gray striped recliner in the room, in addition to the office chair the man sat at. The room also had: another computer, one computer desk, two printers, two bookcases overflowing with books and another bookcase that held a VCR, TV and his collection of non-anime videos. The walls had been sponge painted a combination of sky blue, misty blue and daisy yellow by the previous owner. On the walls were a picture of my oldest son, a Noah's ark print from my youngest son's nursery and a memory board.

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Ring. Ring.

Going to answer the phone, I was surprised that it was ringing at all. I had connected the modem to the phone line hours ago. I decided that the line must have dropped while I had been reading the latest chapter of "Macho Caballo" by James Eades.

"Hello?"

"May I speak to Michael Allen?", a friendly sounding woman's voice asked.

"This is he. May I ask who's calling?"

"This is the shhrrr Relief Office. You are to receive a wish. Please wait right there."

"Yeah, right. Who is this?" I grumbled into the phone.

Click.

Puzzled, I looked at the receiver before hanging it back up. Going back to the den, I muttered, "I can't believe someone would call me at ... What time is it anyway?" Glancing at the time displayed on the VCR in the living room, I saw, "11:34 at night. Especially for some dumb prank like that. Hmm. If I was going to wish for something silly, I would wish to be a character in a Japanese manga or animation show."

As I entered my den, I saw someone climbing out of the monitor. "You didn't hear what I just said, did you?" I grinned nervously, afraid that she had.

She glanced at me, nodded with a sad smile, and then started twirling in the air.

"I didn't think it was for real! Let me have a different wish!"

"Your wish has been granted." With those words uttered, a chill shot up my spine. I opened my mouth to protest, but words did not come. As my sight began to grow dim, I felt a tearing sensation in the pit of my stomach. Pain like none I have felt before or would ever feel again filled my consciousness. Just when I could take it no longer, an icy blackness washed over my body, releasing me from my pain.

*^*^*^*^*^*

bzzzzzzzz.

"Why did you set the alarm to buzz, Love?" I asked groggily.

bzzzzZZZZ.

"Love?" Irritation could now be heard in my voice.

BZZZZZZZZ!

Figuring that my wife had already awakened leaving the alarm set, I leaned to my left and fumbled with the alarm until I silenced it. Rolling onto my right side, I tried to eke a few more minutes of sleep before getting out of bed. Instead of dozing, I mulled over the dream I'd had.

The nightmare replayed in my mind over and over, the intense pain seeming so real. The woman who seemed to step out of my monitor rang a few bells in my memory, but I couldn't pinpoint which. Though it had lasted no more than a few seconds in my dream, I could still feel aftershocks of the pain washing back and forth within me.

"Love, you wouldn't believe the dream I had last night." I sat up and opened my eyes.

Panic began to settle in my heart as I looked around the room I was in. While it looked familiar, it definitely wasn't the master bedroom of my home. It was a very comfortable, tastefully decorated room. There were windows to my left, past the night stand with the alarm clock on it and windows behind me running the length of the wall. Against the wall I was facing, there was a chest of drawers and a vanity with a stool to sit on in front of it. On my right was a closet and the exit to the room. The bed I was in had a blue cotton cover over white sheets. Next to the bed, on my right, was a large plant in a stand. The room was both immaculately kept and obviously a woman's bedroom.

Praying the experience was nothing more than a dream and that I was still trapped within its depths, I folded my arms over my chest as I began to breath deeply. Squeezing my arms together, my jaw fell open in shock from unexpected pain. Holding my breath, I lowered my head and gazed in surprise at what my arms had compressed, two objects that should not have been a part of my anatomy. Expecting to see my flat and unimpressive chest, I stared in horrified astonishment at my new topography.

Closing my eyes and pinching myself very hard to wake up from the nightmare, I reopened my eyes, finding myself still there. Quelling my panic, I tried to find out who I was. I noticed that I had waist length dark hair. Standing, I got the impression that I was taller than an average woman. Wondering who I might be, several names floated through my mind, Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Mars, Min Mei. I hoped that I was somebody strong like Sailor Mars or brave like Yohko. I walked across to the stool and sat in front of the vanity to look at my reflection.

As I stared at the reflection, my eyes grew large in shock, "No, I can't be her! Oh, please, I don't want to be her!"

"AAAHHHHH!!!!!" I collapsed crying onto the floor.

Hugging myself, I began rocking back and forth as I fearfully mumbled, "I'm awake. This is real. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh god, I screwed up!"

Crashing through the door, two older men and a teenage boy began searching my room for possible intruders. Like myself, one of the older men was tall and lanky. He wore Samurai armor as he gazed around the room. The other older man wore a stained gi, glasses and had a bandanna wrapped around his head. He, too, scanned the room for any sign of a prowler. The teenager had black hair tied up into a distinctive pony-tail and wore a red-silk Chinese shirt and black pants. He stared at me with concern, wanting to know if I was all right.

Following closely upon the heels of the men were two teenage girls, who immediately rushed to my side and assisted me to stand.

"Are you okay, Kasumi?" Akane gently asked. "We heard you scream. What happened?"

"I-I'm okay. I just frightened myself is all." Trying to think quickly, I came up with a lame excuse, "I thought I saw a mouse, but it was only a shadow." Still shivering, I let myself be led to bed.

Sitting on my right, Akane's love and concern was evident in her voice as she asked, "Are you sure, big sister? You look really shaken up."

"Y-yes, I am all right Akane. Just give me a few minutes to calm back down," I said, reassuring Akane. Looking more closely at her, I noticed that, Ranma's normal protestations to the contrary, Kasumi's youngest sister was actually very cute, not even considering the hour.

"Big sister, you still look pale to me. Why don't you lay here and take it easy this morning? I'll make everyone breakfast and prepare Nabiki's, Ranma's and my lunch." Akane smiled as she gently pushed me towards my disgustingly lacy-pink pillow. "Just make yourself comfortable, I'll take care of everything."

Not knowing where in the timeline I had been placed or whether I was in the manga or anime universe, I snuck a glance at the rest of the people currently in her room. They stood frozen in place, faces sweating in cold fear from the threat of her cooking.

Gently removing Akane's hands, I sat back up against her protestations. "Thank you, Akane. I appreciate your offer, but isn't it more important that you go on your morning run? I would feel very guilty, if your training slipped because of me. I'm fine, really. Please give me a few minutes and I'll start breakfast."

Looking very dubious, Akane nodded in acquiescence, "All right, if you're sure."

"Little sister, I'm sure that she is going to be fine. In fact, she's looking better already," Nabiki, sitting on my other side, deflected Akane's doubt.

Sparing a thankful glance at Nabiki, I forced a smile for Akane, "Go get ready to run, little sister. I'll have breakfast ready when you come back."

Relieved that his eldest daughter was fine, Soun happily cried, "Oh, what a lucky man am I to have such supportive daughters!"

Ever mindful of the true priorities in life, Genma came forward, "So, Kasumi, since you're okay ... breakfast will be ready at its usual time?"

"Yes." I said, shocked at his bluntness.

With a smile spreading from ear to ear, Genma turned to Ranma, "Boy, with the extra time we have this morning, let's do some real sparring. I've been much too lenient on you lately. You've been getting soft. When you and Akane fought yesterday she almost hit you."

"Hey!" Akane jumped off the bed and faced Genma. "I'll have you know that I'm getting better. Ranma's not getting soft!"

Ignoring her, Genma continued, "Let's go, son."

"Go ahead, Pop. I'll be right behind you," Ranma glanced an apology at Akane as he ran after his father.

"Honestly, I can't believe him. Ranma didn't even try to take my side," she fumed as she left the room. She definitely needed to run now, if for no other reason, than to relax.

Wanting to get a few minutes by myself to think and plan, I looked at Soun Tendo, my father, "Father, surely you want to get out of your armor. Why don't you go to your room and change, while I get myself ready."

"Yes, I will," Soun said nervously as he realized I was in a nightgown. "If you need me for anything, I'll be in the family room when I've changed."

Watching our father leave the room, both Nabiki and I sat quietly, lost in our thoughts. I think Nabiki wondered what really had happened. For myself, I know I did.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Nabiki turned to me, "It's not like you to be frightened by shadows, older sister. Unless, of course, those shadows were shades of other things."

"Oh my, whatever do you mean, Nabiki?" I tried to sound as innocent as possible, as thoughts of Nabiki the manipulator ran through my head. "I honestly thought I saw a mouse. I had only realized it was a shadow when you all came into my room."

"Well, older sister, I must say that you gave us all an entertaining start to our day," Nabiki smiled as she rose and left the room.

As I sat upon my bed, I heard a voice in my head happily say, <Good morning! My name is Misty!>

Looking around the room, I anxiously asked, "Who's there?"

<Silly, there's no one in the room. I'm inside your head with you,> giggled Misty.

Wrapping my arms around myself protectively, I continued anxiously looking around the room, not believing what I had heard, "Misty? Just who are you? Where are you? Why can't I see you?"

<Well, I'm the old Kasumi, dear. You don't need to talk, I can hear your thoughts just fine. We'll be together until you learn how to be me. Won't that be fun?> Overwhelming my own emotions with her own, Misty's warm cheerfulness suppressed my horrified panic.

<My name is Mike, not dear, Kasumi,> I said, relaxing in spite of myself. Putting my arms against my sides, I breathed deeply. <What do you mean that we'll be together until I learn how to be you?>

Sarcastically feigning injury, Misty said, <I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's just that Mike is a boy's name and you're not a boy, are you? You are after all in what used to be my body.>

Glancing at myself, I was disconcerted as I answered, <Um, err, I'll admit to having Kasumi Tendo's body right now.>

<There that didn't hurt did it?> I not only heard a pleased tone in Misty's voice but felt the emotion itself wash over me. <To answer your question about how long we're going to be together, that's going to be up to you. When you're able to be like Kasumi Tendo in all things, I'll be able to leave.>

Dread and fear began creeping over me again as I heard those words,

<Your family will be fine. A new spirit has been sent in to take your place and from what I understand, he's really going to work out fine,> Misty tried to reassure me.

<What do you mean, he's going to work out fine. That's MY wife and MY children!> I was now angry, my fear forgotten. <How can I get back?>

A feeling of sorrow flowed into me from Misty, <I'm sorry, dear. You're here because of a wish, isn't that correct?>

<Yeah, what of it? I asked how to get back!> If I could have, I would have been holding Misty by the shoulders.

<You wished to be a character in a manga or anime show, right?> Misty was sounding a little cross.

<Yes, I didn't mean to. It was a mistake!> I had the grace to be ashamed as I said that.

With a sigh, Misty asked me one last thing, <Tell me, would you have asked to become Kasumi Tendo, if you were given a second chance at the wish?>

<NO! I'm sorry, but Kasumi is always being shown as either Little Miss Homemaker or a complete airhead.>

<Hmph, I never was a frumpy homemaker or an airhead,> Misty said in an insulted tone.

Realizing that I had gone too far, I quickly apologized, <I'm sorry, Misty. I'm just not myself today.>

Laughing at the unintended gaffe, Misty forgave me, <It's okay.> Gaining instant revenge, Misty innocently asked, <Don't you think it's about time to start your day? Your family will be ready for breakfast soon.>

<Oh my god! Do you mean that I have to do everything that you normally do?> I was again in shock. <Um, Misty? I don't even know how to make sushi, let alone Japanese meals. I guess I could cook bacon and eggs for breakfast.>

<Silly, you'll be fine. Let me tell you what I usually did; it really isn't that hard. My morning routine is pretty simple. I usually go to the bathroom, get dressed, make Nabiki's, Akane's and Ranma's lunches and breakfast for everyone.> She happily continued, <It's really a lot of fun! Everyone is so appreciative!>

Feeling a familiar pressure from an unfamiliar place, my body, not so subtly, hinted that I needed to relieve myself. <Misty, where's the bathroom?>

A laughing voice responded, <Silly, just think about it. Since you are now Kasumi Tendo, you know everything that I did. If you can't remember something immediately, try to picture it in your head. If it really is something I would know, you'll have it. Try, dear.>

<Are you always this happy?> I grumbled at her. <I've really got to pe... tinkle! I can't concentrate on finding the bathroom! Hey! How come I can't say that tinkle-word?>

<Let's take care of your immediate problem first, shall we? Why don't you go where you think the bathroom should be?>

<Right. Now I have to use the force to find the bathroom! Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only flush!> I grumbled internally, making my way out of Kasumi's bedroom toward the stairs past the guest room.

Memories from reading and watching Ranma 1/2 surfaced as I passed Nabiki's door. I remembered that the guest bedroom, where Genma and Ranma slept was in the hallway to my right leading to the stairs. Akane's room was on the opposite end of the hallway from Kasumi's room. Knowledge that I shouldn't have known also bubbled up. I knew, for instance, that Nabiki kept her room spotless, doubtless to keep anyone from accidentally seeing or finding anything of interest. Ranma and Genma, on the other hand, wouldn't know how to pick up after themselves, even if you paid them.

As I started down the stairs that I remembered watching Ranma crash down, I turned my attention back to Misty. <Misty?> I asked abruptly. <Let's get back to our little discussion, shall we? Tell me why I can't seem to say or think the word "pe...", "pi...", "urina..." ARGH!> With disgust dripping from my internal voice, I bowed to the inevitable, <tinkle.>

Bubbling with laughter, Misty said, <Let's see, you tried to say pee, piss and urinate. The reason that you can't say those words, dear, goes back to your wish. You wished to become either a manga or anime character. Well, now you are Kasumi Tendo, who was both. Kasumi would never say those words. They are just too ... unfeminine.>

<You mean to tell me that I can't even think some words because they are too masculine? Come on!> I couldn't believe what I was hearing. <Hey, if I can't say those words, how come you did?>

<I'm not Kasumi any more, dear, you are. As Kasumi Tendo, you'll be living within the constraints placed upon her character. When you've acclimated to your new situation, I'll get a chance at choosing another life. You'll learn to love it, I know I did.> Misty comforted.

<Any chance of your choosing to be Kasumi again and letting me go home?> I groused.

<Tee-hee, been there, done that!> Misty replied, <I've wanted to say that for the longest time. Oh, we're in the bathroom. See, I told you that you would find it on your own.>

Grinning to myself, I answered, <The force was strong within me. I had a reason to find it. Um, where's the toilet?>

<Oh, you weren't Japanese were you? Look at the floor, dear,> Misty gently prompted me.

Looking at the flushable basin in the floor, I could only reply, <This is certainly going to be different. I bet no one ever brings the newspaper in here to read.>

A few minutes later and after clumsily relieving myself, I reentered Kasumi's - now my - room. As I moved to the closet, I started talking with Misty again. As I thought that, I felt a small blush creep onto my face. Perplexed at my reaction, I paused and wondered, <Why am I blushing at the thought of a man relieving himself?> As I imagined the action, I only blushed more deeply. <What's going on here?>

<Well, dear, you now have the body of Kasumi Tendo. It's only normal to have the reactions that come with it,> Misty explained.

<Great!> I complained. <Next you'll be telling me that I prefer men over women.>

Before I could be answered, I nervously thought, <Umm, don't answer that one. I don't really want to know.>

<At least getting dressed won't be that bad. I'll just slip on a tee and a pair of jeans.> Rummaging though my closet, I failed to find anything that even closely resembled pants or jeans. <Uh, Misty, you...err I have jeans, right?>

<You don't own any pants,> was the hesitant reply.

<How about shorts then?> I looked hopefully at the chest of drawers.

<I'm sorry, but no,> she apologized.

<Don't I own some culottes or skorts? I don't want to wear a skirt. I want some time to get used to the idea.>

<I'm sorry. You don't own any shorts, pants, jeans or split skirts. The clothes that you own are dresses, skirts, jumpers, kimonos and other conservatively feminine styles,> Misty gently told me.

<Why?> I asked in confusion. <Why don't I have some pants or something like that? Nabiki wears hot pants when she's not in her school uniform most of the time.>

With a sigh, Misty timidly offered, <You are not going to like this. Are you sure you want to know?>

<Sure,> I replied sarcastically. <This day has pretty well suc... This day started bad and immediately went to he... ARGH!> My thoughts step slow in frustration, I tried again, <Da... Oh My! My day has started out rather poorly, I'm sure it couldn't get any worse. Please, tell me the rest of it.> I continued grousing,

Very quietly and gently, Misty asked in a subdued voice, <Tell me, what do you know of Kasumi?>

After a little thought, I began reeling off what I knew, <Let's see, Kasumi became the mother figure and matriarch of the Tendo family after her mother died. Her family is her number one priority. She is very nurturing and an excellent cook. She is also just about the biggest air-head on the planet. She actually waved goodbye to the phoenix as it left. What else? She likes Dr. Ono.> While going through this list, I absently selected an outfit to wear.

<Very good!> A pleased feeling washed over from Misty. <You almost have it. Have you ever wondered how Kasumi could be such an air-head? After all, Nabiki and Akane are fairly intelligent.>

<Actually, I've never given it much thought. I thought, maybe, she was comic relief,> I removed my nightgown and began putting on my undergarments.

<Your one duty is to keep the household harmonious. Believe me, that is no easy task. Nabiki is cool and calculating, always looking for an advantage. Akane is almost always ready to fly into a rage. Father, well, he's weak emotionally. Genma is a fool and an eating machine. Ranma is a trouble magnet. Happosai is a perverted little freak,> Misty paused for a moment to give the information time to sink into my mind before continuing. <The only way to keep everyone from tearing each other apart is for someone to always be cheerful and happy. That often means that you must be seemingly oblivious to what happens around you.>

<You mean that if Akane throws Ranma through the roof, I can't call her a ... I can't even say it in my head! All I can say is something like, "Oh my!"> I complained, my frustration once again evident.

<Yes, dear, that's correct,> Misty sighed. <Even when you want to strangle the little witch for being so hot-headed, you have to try and defuse the situation.>

Laughing a little, I thought, Closing my eyes to regain my composure, I tried again, <a word that rhymes with ditch. This is already getting old, do you know that?>

<Yes, dear I do,> she said sympathetically. Continuing in a happier tone, she gushed, <Remember, you're Kasumi Tendo now and as such cannot say or do anything that would be unladylike. I'm just you're spirit guide, who can say anything she likes.>

With a sigh, I pulled the dress over my head and said, <My name is Mike, not dear or Kasumi.>

<Really? Would you mind telling what your name is again, out loud this time?> Misty asked mischievously.

"Not at all, my name is Kasumi Tendo." Startled, I thought, <Hey, you tricked me! How did you make me say that?>

Misty happily said. <You would be out of character to claim out loud to be someone else, especially a man! Just like you can't think certain words, some things you cannot say either.> Continuing in a sober, yet nurturing voice, she said, <As you adjust to your new life, you will always remember who and what you were. You are now Kasumi Tendo, the heart of the Tendo household. I know this will be hard, especially at first, but you will adapt.>

I, now Kasumi, said morosely as I sat at my vanity and began applying my makeup. <Aren't you a little jealous of my stealing your life?>

<Not at all!> Misty burbled excitedly. <For the first time in a long time, I'm going to get to be my own person. I'll be able to think, say and do what I am really feeling!>

Putting my makeup brush down, I stared at it for a second. As realization of what I had been automatically doing while conversing with Misty washed over me, I began to inspect myself in the mirror, <Hey! I got myself ready! How did I know how to do all of this stuff?>

<Dear, haven't you been listening?> Misty sounded like she was pouting a little. <I told you that when you needed to know or do something, you'd know how to do it. Getting ready for the day is something I've done automatically for years, now. Now, you are benefiting from all of my practice.>

<How'd I do?> I asked hesitantly.

<You did fine. You look just like Kasumi Tendo always does in the morning, bright, happy and ready to face the day> Misty said with encouragement. <Speaking of facing the day, shouldn't you be starting breakfast and making three bentos?>

<Oh shi...> I stopped, grimaced and started over in my thoughts, <Oh Goodness, I do! I mustn't let the family wait on their breakfast. Why it might make Nabiki, Akane and Ranma late for school!>

<Ha ha ha. You can't have that can you? That would hurt the home's harmony wouldn't it?> Misty laughed at me.

Quickly leaving my room, I made my way to the kitchen. It looked exactly as I expected. Wondering what I would make for breakfast, I walked around the room inspecting the cabinets. As I wandered, a memory of myself buying groceries the day before surfaced and I knew what to prepare and how to prepare it.

Busying myself at the counter, I thought of a few more questions to ask Misty, <I'm thinking and speaking Japanese, aren't I?>

<Yes, you're speaking Japanese like a native citizen of Tokyo.> Misty anticipated my next query, <Remember, you know what you need to know. It wouldn't do for Kasumi not to be able to speak with her family would it?>

I admitted, mulling over the answer. <How about all of the knowledge I have as Mike Allen? I'm not going to lose it, am I?>

<To be honest with you, I really don't know,> she answered.

<That seems about right.> My hands flew over the cutting board, slicing the fresh vegetables and fruits that were to be a part of breakfast. I was amazed at how my body was able to perform so naturally. Letting it direct itself, I enjoyed my newfound cooking abilities.

<Kasumi?> Misty asked in a small, but very happy voice.

<Umm, yes? Let me chop this and then we can talk,> I told her. Quickly finishing, I stood back and replied, <Yes, Misty?>

<It's time for me to say goodbye. You've adjusted enough already that you'll be able to handle whatever comes up.> By her rapid speech and excited tone, she was obviously eager to leave me.

<Where are you going?> Unsure of whether to be happy or sad, I waited for the answer.

<I'm not sure, yet. I get to choose a new life! Like you, I'm getting a wish. I haven't really decided. I'm thinking it might be fun to be someone like Lina Inverse, a strong woman who never worries about what others say. That would be a complete change after being Kasumi.>

<I'm happy for you, Misty. Just don't make your wish without thinking about it, like I did,> I thought with regret.

<Oh, I won't do that! Goodbye, Kasumi! Take good care of my... your family!> her voice began to recede as her spirit pulled out of my body.

<Goodbye, and may you be luckier than I was!> I was now alone. Finishing cooking breakfast, I mourned for my lost family.

After breakfast, I saw Nabiki, Akane and Ranma off to school and cleaned up the kitchen. Not sure what Kasumi's normal routine was, I let my body guide me. After lunch, I found myself in the kitchen trying to make out a grocery list. This forced me to think about what I wanted to serve for the next three meals. Finding the knowledge I needed floating up into my mind, I made out the list and told my father and Mr. Saotome where I was going.

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"Please save me a few good octopuses tomorrow. I want to surprise my family with a special dinner." I left the fish monger's stall with a smile. My arms fully laden with purchases, I turned from the booth and was knocked to the ground by a passer-by.

"I'm sorry, Miss. I wasn't looking where I was going," an embarrassed voice stammered. "Here, let me pick up all these things for you."

Recognizing the voice, I looked towards the speaker, "Ryouga? Is that you?"

"Err, Kasumi?" Ryouga looked up from where he was picking up the groceries and self-consciously smiled.

"Whatever are you doing out here in the middle of the day?" I asked as I also began bagging my groceries.

"I was looking for Furinkan High School." He sat down and put his left hand behind his head. "I, Uh, was wanting to give Akane a gift. I got it in Honshu, I think. It's a ceramic coconut tree."

The only times I remembered Ryouga ever wanting to find the high school was to fight Ranma. Thinking quickly, I said, "That's very nice of you to think of Akane, Ryouga. Instead of giving it to her there, why don't you help me carry all of this home? You'll be able to give her your gift when she comes home. Besides, I bet you'd love a nice warm bath, wouldn't you?" I didn't want to see Akane angry and Ranma sulking because of Ryouga's vendetta. I smiled and continued, not giving him a chance to say no. "It's settled then. You'll come home with me and give Akane her gift when Ranma and she return home. Before then, you'll take a bath and get into some clean clothes. You'll look and feel so much better afterwards."

Hesitantly acquiescing, Ryouga said, "That would be very nice, Kasumi. Thank you."

"Let's get this home then, Ryouga. Why don't you carry it and I'll lead you there?" I felt very clever that I had at the least postponed a confrontation between Ranma and Ryouga. The fight itself would be nothing, the inevitable misunderstanding between Akane and Ranma afterwards was what I wanted to prevent or soften.

*^*^*^*^*^*

"Father? Mr. Saotome? I'm home!" I cheerfully said as I entered my new home. I led Ryouga towards the kitchen so that I could put the groceries up. "You'll never guess who I ran into today. I found Ryouga Hibiki, Ranma's friend!"

I turned to the lost boy and smiled. "Ryouga, once I put all of this up, I'll be happy to show you our bath room." He melted the way he always does around women and allowed me to corral him into the kitchen.

Everything went according to my plan until that evening. After dinner, Ryouga got up the courage to give Akane her little coconut tree. It really was cute. It was about four inches tall had brown bark, five little palms and two coconuts. Akane loved it and couldn't stop talking about how cute it was. That is, until Ranma got jealous. We were all in the family room when Ranma couldn't stand it anymore.

"Jeez, Akane, it's a coconut tree. What's so special about it?" Ranma asked her in a challenging way, as he picked it up and looked at it. "There's no way that this could have come from Honshu."

"Ranma, it's cute. Also, Ryouga thought enough of me to buy it and bring it to me. That was really sweet of him," Akane answered Ranma angrily. Unfortunately, Ryouga took what she said completely wrong.

"Yeah, when's the last time you bought her anything, Ranma? I bet you never think of her when you're out," I could hear the challenge in Ryouga's voice and so did he.

"I think of Akane a lot, P-Chan," was all Ranma got out before Ryouga interrupted.

"Who are you calling P-Chan, Ranko!" Ryouga was livid.

Where's P-Chan?!" Akane cried out, looking around for her lost piglet.

"He's right in front of you, Akane." Ranma said, pointing at Ryouga with a sneer.

"How dare you insult me in front of Akane! Prepare to die!" Ryouga attacked Ranma right in the house.

There was nothing I could say or do before Ranma and Ryouga had both jumped outside and continued fighting. I couldn't stop the fight. I decided to try and control how things shaped afterwards, I hoped that I could keep Akane and Ranma from fighting. The fight between the two boys was very short as Ranma and Ryouga both fell into the Koi pond almost as soon as it started.

"Ranma, couldn't you just let me accept Ryouga's gift?" Akane angrily faced Ranma-chan, as she came back into the house.

"What do ya mean, Akane? He challenged me." Ranma, sounding hurt and confused by the accusation, stood staring at her.

"Ranma, come into the kitchen. I've got some hot water ready for tea, you can use it to change back," with a smile, I grabbed her arm and quickly moved her away from Akane. "Nabiki, could you bring Ranma a towel, please?"

"Sure, sis," Nabiki looked at me with some surprise as she left the room. I just gave her a smile.

In the kitchen, I quickly brought Ranma back to himself. "There you go, Ranma. My, you didn't even get scratched in tonight's fight, did you?"

"No, it really didn't last long enough," he said still grumpy from Akane's verbal attack.

"I guess, if the two of you hadn't fallen in the water, you would've gotten a few scratches and bruises. So, you shouldn't feel bad about not getting hurt," I smiled as sincerely as I could.

He looked at me with a strange expression. All of his ire at Akane forgotten as he must have wondered just what I had been thinking. He stammered out, "Well, one of the objectives of a fight is to not get hurt, Kasumi."

"Well, you just seemed so disappointed that you hadn't been hurt, I thought you needed some cheering up," I almost laughed out loud. I knew P-Chan would be showing up soon and I wanted to keep Ranma distracted until Akane found the little pig. I kept Ranma in the kitchen until Nabiki brought the towel in. Sending him to take a bath, I told him a good soak in the furo would make things better.

After he left, I went to find Akane. I didn't want Ranma to notice P-Chan and her together before he went to bed that night, so I decided to try and get her to go to bed a little early. I found her on the porch with little P-Chan.

"There you are, Akane! I just wanted to let you know that Ranma was fine and he's soaking in the furo," I sat down beside her and watched as she scrubbed P-Chan with a towel. "Oh, you found P-Chan! I wonder where he's been?"

"I think Ranma must have pushed poor little P-Chan into the koi pond when he was fighting with Ryouga," she muttered more to herself than to me.

"Why, what makes you think that? Pigs love water, it very well may be the P-Chan couldn't resist going for a swim when he got home," I reached over and gave him a pat on the head. "I bet you just love to play in the water, don't you fella?"

Akane sat, motionless for a moment, and began to smile, "Big sister, you're right. Ranma was already inside before I heard P-Chan crying for his momma. I'm your momma, aren't I, P-Chan?"

I watched as she hugged him to herself, while he shook his head an emphatic no. "It's getting late, isn't it? I think that after Ranma leaves the bath and goes to bed, I'll take a nice long soak. Would you like to join me?"

"No thanks. I've got some homework to finish before I go to bed," she stood up to go upstairs.

"All right then. Goodnight, little sister," I was glad that she decided not to join me. I needed some time to myself to try and think about who and what I'd become.

A little later, I settled into the furo. For the first time all day, I was alone and in a position that I didn't worry about being spied upon. I relaxed and thought about the day. Thinking it over, it was obvious that I had been in emotional shock most of the day. In one fell swoop, I lost my family, my life and my manhood all through a careless wish. I stared at the body I now had. If I had still been myself, I would definitely have had a ha... I would have been excited by looking at myself. Now, I examined myself and saw thighs that had a little too much fat on them and arms that were too skinny. The funniest thing about the whole switch was that I had felt completely normal, even when I first woke up. I wouldn't have noticed that I was a woman, if I hadn't hugged myself. I guess the wish had already started to affect me.

Thinking of the wish brought thoughts of my wife and two boys. It would be pointless to try and contact them. Since Kasumi Tendo didn't exist where I came from, I was sure they didn't exist here. I could only hope that whoever replaced me would love them as well as I had. I remembered my wedding day, standing next to my w... spouse. That whole day we were both giggling with excitement. I thought back and watched both of my boys being born again. I missed them. I wanted to go back.

Silently, lest I be heard, I said a prayer to whatever deity could hear me. I asked that my w... spouse and children would continue to be happy and loved for the rest of their lives. I could only hope to find a love like I foolishly lost. As I opened my eyes, I watched a tear fall from my face into the warm water of the furo. I needed release. I curled into a fetal position and let the sadness and regrets flow with my tears to mingle in the waters of my new life.

*^*^*^*^*^*

I left when the water turned cold. I slipped quietly into my room as I didn't want anyone to see me with red, puffy eyes. It would have been very obvious that I had been crying. Luckily, everyone was either already in bed or too busy doing something to notice me, not that anyone would have noticed anyway. Once in my room, I dressed myself in my nightgown and prepared for bed.

Over the next several days, I became more and more acclimated to being Kasumi Tendo. My thoughts and actions were interrupted by the 'character' police fewer times each day. As I learned what I could say or how I could think things, I adjusted. I didn't want to; I was forced to.

Ryouga or P-Chan was in our house much more often than I ever remembered him being when I watched the anime or read the manga. It was almost as if he had been unofficially adopted. I found myself disliking him because of the way he always tried to destroy the harmony I worked so hard to build in my home. If he could have come out and openly fought for Akane's hand, that would have been fine. As it was, he was not being very honorable, sneaking into Akane's room and listening to her confidences as P-Chan. What was even worse was that he used that knowledge against Ranma when he was human. No wonder Ranma always got jealous.

Three weeks after I had assumed Kasumi's place in the Tendo family, I knew that I would have to intervene.

The evening started out quietly. We sat around the dinner table and enjoyed the meal and each other. I was embarrassed because the rice was slightly underdone, but thankfully no one complained. Akane and Ranma were both pleased that they had both passed their latest math tests. Nabiki detailed what she had found out about the latest college she was thinking of going to. It sounded like a very nice place.

Humming to myself, I had finished washing the dinner dishes when I heard shouting from the dojo.

"Prepare to die, Ranma!" Ryouga shouted his usual challenge to Ranma.

"Hey, I just ate! Watch it, P-Chan!" Ranma shouted back.

"P-Chan? I don't see P-Chan, Ranma!" Ryouga snarled.

"Oh good, Ryouga has come to pay Akane and Ranma a visit!" I wanted to properly welcome Ryouga and try to keep the peace, so I quickly walked to the dojo carrying a plate of cookies and milk.

As I entered, I heard Ranma ask, "What're ya upset about this time, P-Chan!"

"I saw Akane crying today. I know it's you're fault, Ranma." Ryouga began punching at Ranma. "I'm going to make you pay for hurting her feelings like that!"

"Oh come off it, Ryouga. She was crying because she won the role of Stella in 'A Streetcar Named Desire'." Ranma dodged Ryouga's punches.

"Liar!" Ryouga picked up a white marble statue of a Greyhound that had been attached to his backpack and threw it towards Ranma. Ranma ducked out of the way and the statue flew on towards me.

"Aiiiieee!" I screamed, dropping the tray as I covered my face with my hands.

Faster than I could see, Ranma changed direction and intercepted the statue just as it reached me. Tackling it, he threw its trajectory off enough so that it missed me, instead going through a wall and shattering on the ground.

Pulling himself from the ground, Ranma jumped back into the dojo next to me, "Are you all right, Kasumi?"

"Oh." Having to slow my breathing so that I could speak, I started again, "Oh dear! I'm fine, thank you Ranma."

Also running over next to me, Ryouga began apologizing, "Kasumi, I'm so sorry. If Ranma had stood still and taken his lumps like a man, you wouldn't have been frightened like that."

"Hey, you're the one who threw the stupid thing, Ryouga! It's not my fault that you can't throw," Ranma retorted hotly.

Knees still shaky from fright, I could do nothing more than sit down next to a wall as I watched Ranma and Ryouga start fighting again. I couldn't believe that Ryouga blamed Ranma for almost hitting me with that statue. I watched as Akane passed me on her way into the dojo.

"Ranma, why are you picking on Ryouga again?" Akane brusquely asked, "I hate it when you pick on people."

"Huh?" Ranma was distracted and was thrown through the hole in the dojo wall by Ryouga. Ryouga jumped through right behind him.

Akane noticed me as she turned around, "Kasumi? What are you doing out here?"

"I was bringing out some refreshments for Ranma and Ryouga. They were fighting when I got out here," was all I could get out before two splashes were heard.

"BWEEE!"

"P-Chan?" Akane ran towards the koi pond, completely forgetting me.

I don't know what she found there, but as I arrived, she was already yelling at Ranma.

"How could you attack P-Chan, Ranma?" she yelled at her. "You know he's just a defenseless little animal. He can't possibly protect himself from you."

"He attacked me, Akane!" Ranma yelled back. "I don't believe you! Ya saw the little runt attack me and ya still blame me. You not only are an uncute tomboy, but you're thick-headed to boot!"

"WHAT!!! It's not bad enough to attack my pet pig, now you have to insult me, too!" Akane grabbed P-Chan away from biting Ranma's shoulder. With a mean looking smile, she attacked at Ranma's weakest point, "Oh, wait a minute, I've finally figured out why you call me uncute all of the time. You want to be the bride and be the one wearing the dress, don't you?"

I gasped as I heard the words leave her mouth. I looked at Ranma and at first she seemed to inflate, ready to explode. She stopped herself before letting go. She looked at Akane and searched in her eyes for something, I'm not sure what.

Suddenly, she deflated turned away from us and in a hurt tone of voice mumbled, "If that's what you think of me Akane, then call off our engagement. I won't stop you."

I was angry at the little b... my little sister for flying off the handle one too many times. I rounded on her and said, "Oh Akane, don't you think you were a little harsh on Ranma? Ryouga did come here for a fight after all. I'm sure he didn't try and hurt your pet pig, but P-Chan seems to attack Ranma, regardless."

"Well, when I got here P-Chan was biting Ranma on the shoulder." Akane stammered out, not used to facing my anger. "I was sure that Ranma had provoked him."

"Were you really sure, little sister, or were you already angry?" I asked in a calmer tone of voice.

"I-I don't know," she said softly, unable to look me in the eyes.

"Akane," I said in a disappointed tone, "I think you really hurt Ranma's feelings. I know you wouldn't have done it on purpose, but he looked really down."

I could tell by watching her reaction to my words, that she had only been flinging an insult back. Of course, she hadn't meant it; but unfortunately, the words had left her mouth.

Bringing her in to me for a short hug, I gently chided her, "Little sister, I think it would be best if you went up to bed and slept on it. Tomorrow, both you and Ranma will be able to talk, if you care to." I felt I was a little harsh, but she had brought this onto herself.

After watching her go into the house, I searched for Ranma. Unfortunately, she had either jumped onto a roof or run off to be by herself. With a sigh of helplessness, I despaired of finding her and went inside. A nice warm pot of tea sounded really relaxing right about now.

Ryouga went too far this time. His regular attacks were far from unexpected, but I was not upset with him for that. In many ways, he and Ranma both enjoyed the competitive challenge each gave the other. His constant disturbance of the precarious harmony within my home and his continual insinuation of himself as P-Chan between Akane and Ranma had simply reached an unbearable level. Their arguments and hurt feelings over him were too steep a price to pay for Ryouga's presence. Each time the situation became more difficult to mend.

I still remember cringing in shocked horror when I realized that I had wished away my real family. Slowly, very slowly, the Tendos were becoming a part of me; they were not just a substitute family or cartoon characters, but real people who needed me. If I had any say in the matter, Ryouga would no longer hurt the people I love and care for.

I sat and meditated on the problem as I sipped my tea. I needed a plan that would not entail any physical violence. I'm not a fighter and I don't want anyone to get hurt through my actions. I tried to remember any fanfics that addressed this type of problem. Remembering one, I devised a plan and smiled in anticipation. Finished with my tea, I went to clean the dojo of the mess I had spilled and to fish Ryouga's clothes out of the koi pond before they started to mildew.

*^*^*^*^*^*

As we sat down to breakfast the next morning, I noticed Akane bringing P-Chan down with her.

"Has anyone seen Ryouga since last night?" I asked innocently. "I found some of his clothes in the koi pond and he left his backpack in the dojo."

"Maybe he got lost on his way to the bath," Ranma laughed. "Man, he could get lost in a jail cell. Right, P-Chan?"

"Bwee!" P-Chan snorted angrily back.

"Ranma, please, be nice," Akane said in a subdued voice, bowing her head in humility.

Ranma appeared ready to shout something back, but instead he paused and said, "Okay, Akane."

"I was hoping that he would be here this morning. I have some things to buy in the market that will be too heavy for me to carry home," I smiled cheerfully. "I hope he shows up. He can't go far without his pack."

"Just to Paris and back," Ranma muttered.

As I spoke, I watched P-Chan. At the mention of his name, he paid full attention to me. When he heard that he would be needed, I could see him swell with pride. I had him!

As Nabiki, Akane and Ranma were leaving to go to school, I heard Akane timidly say, "R-Ranma?"

"Yeah?" he warily answered.

"I need to talk to you about last..." was the last I heard as they left the yard. I hoped that they both would say the right things for a change.

About an hour before lunch was ready, I heard stumbling noises coming from bathroom. I investigated and found Ryouga, human, dressed and lost trying to find the exit.

"Ryouga!" I exclaimed. "I'm so happy to see you."

"Heh, I was trying to find the kitchen and somehow kept coming back into here," he said as he put his left arm behind his head in embarrassment.

"I'm glad that you came here today. I'm going to the market after lunch and have a large list of things that I must get. Would you mind going with me? I'm really going to need your strength today!" I asked sweetly.

"Sure, Kasumi," he beamed back at me.

We left shortly after lunch. At that time, I told him that we would be making an extra stop in our shopping. "Ryouga, I've been meaning to stop by the Nerima Animal Control and Licensing Department. Since it's such a beautiful day, I hope you wouldn't mind if we took an extra long time shopping today?"

"No, Kasumi. Whatever you want to do, I'll be happy to come along," he was also enjoying himself.

The receptionist for the NACLD, a very nice woman, asked us what we needed as we arrived.

"I'd like to speak to someone who can tell me the licensing requirements for an exotic animal, please," I smiled at her pleasantly.

She seemed a little surprised, but looked at her computer monitor and turned back to us and said, "Miss? Mr. Nokomura will see you in five minutes. May I ask what your name is?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! My name is Kasumi Tendo," I apologized to her with a little bow. "My friend here is Ryouga Hibiki."

He bowed in acknowledgment to her.

"Thank you, why don't you and your friend relax over in the waiting area. I will call for you when Mr. Nokomura is free," she smiled back politely.

Within a few minutes, she called us back up. Mr. Nokomura was waiting for us. He was a tall, handsome man in his early forties.

As he led us back towards his office, he asked, "What sort of exotic animal are you interested in, Miss Tendo?"

I grabbed Ryouga's hand in an immodest manner pulling him into the office with me. It wouldn't do for him to get lost today.

"I'm actually interested in pigs, Mr. Nokomura," I said pleasantly as we were both seated in low-grade government issue office chairs.

"Oh?"

"Yes, you see my sister has a pet piglet and I want to know how to take care of it. It runs away for days at a time and she gets very worried for it." I said with concern in my voice. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Ryouga.

"Hmm, well miniature pigs have become very popular recently. Could you tell me the approximate size the piglet is now?"

"It's pretty small, maybe 10 pounds. My sister can hold it in her lap."

"Is it a male or female?" he continued.

"Male, definitely a male," Ryouga jumped in nervously.

Mr. Nokomura, began to smile, "Well, that's the reason that it wanders! It is probably trying to mark and defend its territory. You see, unneutered boars are extremely aggressive, restless and can, when older, smell very strongly."

"Goodness, are you saying that P-Chan should be neutered?" Ryouga had grabbed the arms of his chair and paled at Mr. Nokomura's suggestion.

"Yes, as soon as possible! Once a habit gets started, it's much harder to train it to stop. If he's already wandering around, it's a wonder he hasn't attacked anyone. He hasn't, has he?" he asked.

"Not really. The only person he's ever been aggressive with is Ranma, my sister's fiance," I answered slowly.

"Hey, Ranma is always teasing him, though. It's not his fault," Ryouga said a little too forcefully, defending his pig form nervously. I could see he was beginning to sweat just a little bit on his brow.

"If he's been attacking anyone and wandering the area, I'd say it was past the time for neutering the animal," Mr. Nokomura lectured.

"Oh?! Could you explain it further? I would like to be able to reassure my sister that we wouldn't be hurting the poor little thing?" I asked with an innocent smile.

Smiling, he said, "It's really a very simple operation. They use general anesthesia so that the animal doesn't panic and hurt someone or itself. The veterinarian then surgically removes the testicles and scrotum. The animal wakes up and in two or three days is back to normal. It's not even a very painful procedure for the animal."

I watched Ryouga covertly as Mr. Nokomura described the operation. By the time he had finished the description, Ryouga had his legs crossed as tightly as they could be, his hands were covering his genital area and he looked as if he was ready to pass out. Unfortunately, my body betrayed me and blushed as he covered himself.

"That sounds very easy to perform. Does it cost much?" I was enjoying this. By the time I was finished, P-Chan would never visit the Tendo home again.

"Oh no, it's very inexpensive. You must remember that neutering a pet is something that everyone should do. An unneutered pet will always be more aggressive and territorial than a neutered one. That goes for any type of animal." He was very adamant. Seeing my blush, he added, "There's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, young lady, unneutered animals end up getting hurt and dying at a much younger age than neutered ones."

"How big can a piglet grow?" I asked.

"If it's a pet pig, it'll grow to be at most 200 pounds. If the piglet is of a farming breed, it's adult weight will be at a minimum, 260 pounds. Much too big to be a pet," he said.

"So it shouldn't be sleeping in my sisters bed then?" I prodded.

"Not unless your sister wants to eventually be sleeping on the floor. Once it begins to grow, it more than likely would push your sister out of the bed. It would be best to keep it outside with a companion pig."

"Hey, I... P-Chan'd never push Akane out of her bed!" Ryouga tried again to defend himself.

"Where should I go to get him neutered? Do you have a recommendation?" I asked my last question.

"Any veterinarian could do it. I'd suggest finding one close to where you live. That way your friend wouldn't have to carry him all that far," he answered me in a friendly tone. "I would suggest that you get a cage for him. A pig can be very hard to carry, if it doesn't want to be carried."

"I hadn't thought of that! Thank you, Mr. Nokomura! We've used up too much of your time." I rose and bowed lightly to him. "It's time for us to go."

"We haven't even started discussing normal care and hygiene for a pig. You need to learn what shots to give, when to de-worm, how to take care of its skin, when to trim its tusks..." he said. It was obvious that he wanted to continue.

"We really must be going. We have to shop and then I must make dinner for my family." Ryouga was up in a flash and through the door before I had finished. "I'm truly sorry for his rudeness, Mr. Nokomura. He's usually extremely polite."

"If you must leave, please take this pamphlet on how to take care of a pet pig. It will tell you everything that I haven't been able to." He handed me a pamphlet entitled, "Your Pig and You, Friends For Life".

"Thank you, Mr. Nokomura, you've been more than helpful." I took the booklet and moved towards his door. Leaving the office, I looked for Ryouga. He had stopped just outside the door and was leaning against the wall. He was white as a ghost and almost shivering with anxiety.

"Ryouga, are you all right?" I asked with concern in my voice. "The way you rushed out I thought that you might be ill. Would you like a cold washcloth for your head?"

"No," he quickly said. "I'll be okay, Kasumi. I just need to walk around a bit. Let's get your shopping done."

By the time we arrived back home, I had really loaded poor Ryouga down. I had always known he was strong, but I never appreciated just how strong he was. I shop every day because I can't carry any more than a day's worth of food. He was carrying seven days worth and not breaking a sweat!

Placing the packages in the kitchen, he turned to me and said, "Kasumi? I-I just remembered I'm supposed to be somewhere tomorrow and I need to go."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Ryouga. I'm sure that Ranma will miss sparring with you tonight," I said with disappointment.

"Heh, I really do need to leave. Could you tell me where my stuff is?" he asked nervously.

"I'll do more than that Ryouga, I'll take you to where you left them," I took him to the dojo where his gear still was. In addition, I walked him to the entrance into our yard from the street, so that he wouldn't get lost on the way. I still remember watching him wandering lost in the Nekohanten.

"Goodbye, Ryouga! Have fun!" I waved to him as he wandered off.

*^*^*^*^*^*

That night over dinner, I told everyone what I had discovered. "Akane, Ryouga and I went to the Nerima Animal Control and Licensing Department today. You'd be surprised at what I found out about pigs!"

"What did you find out, Oneechan?"

"You took Ryouga there and asked about pigs?" Ranma chuckled as he asked me.

"Yes, Ranma. He was helping me shop today. I thought you knew that," I answered confusedly.

"Why would you find that funny, Ranma?" Turning to me, Akane asked again, "Well, what did you find out?"

"I asked a really nice man, a Mr. Nokomura, about how to take care of pet pigs. He knew so much! He told me why P-Chan wanders around so much and even why he attacks Ranma," I happily told her.

Genma had stopped eating and was staring at me. Ranma was laughing so hard, he had almost fallen over.

Nabiki looked at me with a smirk, "Please go on, Oneechan. I'm dying to know why P-Chan gets lost and attacks Ranma."

"Bwuahaha," Ranma had finally lost it.

Glancing at Ranma, I started again, "Well, Mr. Nokomura told us that since P-Chan was a male pig, he's marking his territory when he is missing. Also, boars are very aggressive. He must see Ranma as challenging him."

"I told you, you shouldn't pick on him, Ranma." Akane turned to Ranma.

"Hey, I don't pick on him!" Ranma managed between laughs.

"Anyway, Mr. Nokomura said that P-Chan will stop all of his misbehaviors once we get him neutered," I said with a smile at Akane.

"Ha ha, er, did you say neutered, Kasumi?" My last statement stopped Ranma's laugh cold. In fact, he looked positively uneasy, as did Mr. Saotome.

"Yes, I did. It's really a very simple operation. You see, they put the animal to sleep and," I started blushing at the thought of the words. "take off the scrotum and testicles of the animal. According to Mr. Nokomura, it's relatively painless and the animals are ever so much happier afterwards."

Ranma, Mr. Saotome and Father had all gone pale at my description of what is performed during the surgery. I looked with concern at them and asked, "Father, Ranma, Mr. Saotome, are you all right? You are all pale. Is something the matter?"

"No, Kasumi. I'm fine," Father said.

Ranma and Genma just shook their heads that they were fine.

Smiling, I then offered, "I'm glad! I made an extra large batch of meatballs tonight. Please, eat up!"

Father passed out right at the table. Genma and Ranma both turned green and ran for the bathroom.

Putting a hand to my mouth, I turned to my sisters saying, "Oh my! I guess they weren't hungry."

"Huh?" Akane was staring at me slack-jawed in astonishment.

Nabiki laughed a little and said, "Oh my is right, Oneechan!"

**********************
I hope that you liked my little story. As usual, any C&C, MST's, flames or thoughts are welcome.