Boredcollective@aol.com wrote:

And now for something completely the same:

    Heh...

    Haruka smiled slightly. "Funny, you know... On the girl, that
gi looked a little loose, but didn't really look like it could expand
THAT much..."

    Hehe... Okay, should have re-read it before I C&Ced.

    Setsuna leaned in to whisper to her sister. "You often like
to wash off and spend a little time in the furo after you finish
your mechanical work. I believe that the important information
has been discussed." She indicated Genma. "And, we may have our
visitors for an extended period today. Therefore-"

    This Setsuna is awfully pushy...

    In the next moment, Rei walked in. "Hello, Father. Hi, Setsuna.
Hello..." She trailed off when she took note of the large, bandanna-
wearing man. "Wait, who are _you_?"

    Hehehe...

    After losing to that _girl_, Rei, he had been advised to go
and get washed up. Having been too frustrated to argue, he had
trudged off to the bathroom, ditched the sailor-suit as quickly as
he could, then omitted the traditional pre-washing bucket of cold
water and jumped right into the furo.

    Woah! Social gaff! That's a big step to skip, _especially_ in a house that's not his.

    Completely naked.

    Rule number 3: Naked anime chicks will win _any_ battle.

    Haruka, now wearing a thick white bathrobe, casually twirled
her blackjack around once, then dropped it and pulled out a length
of thick, black cable...

    That went well.

    "He is not dead, Father," Setsuna noted, "only unconscious."

    Soun sniffled, his whining waterworks slowing to a halt.
"Really?"

    "Yeah," Haruka added, lightly nudging the individual on the
floor with her foot, "we don't kill 'guests' here. But, I mean, even
if he is the misbegotten _spawn_ of your 'best' friend, he's still
a peeping tom. Hmph... You should have seen the way he was staring
at me."

    Haruka can't remember that it was Setsuna who suggested that she take the bath in the first place?

    Setsuna prodded Genma lightly on the cheek with her finger. The
large man instantly bolted upright. "NOT THE SQUIRRELS, MASTER!!!!"
he shouted. "PLEASE NOT THE *SQUIRRELS*!!!"

    ...

    "Oh my," Setsuna smiled, "I think you've killed them."

    No speech indicator.

    *Splash* Because of his clumsiness and lack of caution, the
undisciplined young man fell backward into another pool, his hair
growing long and turning blonde, becoming a rather stunning girl
in a white gown.

    How remarkably unbiased!

    "Mister... Miss... whatever, sirs... You will just make things
worse," the guide said with a sigh, looking down at the ground and
shrugging in a gesture of surrender. He paused, noticing a faded
character on the sign posted near the Spring of Drowned Girl. "Oh,
very sorry, sirs!" he called to them. "That was Spring of Drowned
Psychotic Murderer Young Lady With A Bad Temper And An Evil Gleam In
Her Eye Who Hates Pandas And Their Fathers Who Turn Into Them. Very
tragic story about talk show host who-"

    ...

    Hehehe...

    Eventually, though, they got tired, and made their way over to
Jos�'s run-down duplex house.


    It was sunset by the time the two made it to the door,
red-faced and exhausted from the long, hard conflict.

    Extra newline? Not sure, I think you want a scene break there, in the context of this being an article that the others are reading.

    "Please just a moment," Jos� replied, patting out the flames
that threatened to form. "AAH! No, not the eight-tracks!"

    Hehehe...

    The pigtailed boy looked at his 'father' and smirked. "You
know, 'pop...' You look REALLY cute like that... Maybe you should
_stay_ that way and-"

    pop -- Pop (?)

    "That's right," a small black cat with a crescent moon on its
forehead said as it faded into view, "he's under Our control... and
there's nothing you can do to break it."

    Our -- our

    The crescent moon on the Princess's forehead glowed, and
a powerful golden aura sprang up around her. "Tsuki ni kawatt�,"
she began through gritted teeth.

    The Princess rose out of the spring, her two long pigtails
whipping wildly behind her. "OSHOKYO!!!"

    Don't know enough japanese; this is completely lost on me.

    I assume it's an attack from the anime? I've only got the manga as a resource at the moment...

To be continued...

Coming next time: Chibiusa's Tragic Story! And a Royal Marriage Plan.

    Overall, that was hilarious, though. :p

-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com

    "We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
     We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
     Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
     Resistance is and always has been: Futile."