Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma/DC Comics][xover] When Titans Clash! Part Two

Sorry this response is so late. I've been laz-- er, busy. :) Hope it's
still of some use.

    Certainly. December is the most evil of months for free time. Hence the
lateness of my reply to your reply. Heh.

"Dave Menard" <menard5078@rogers.com> wrote:

Here's how the voting came down. In the case of a draw, or no clear

choice

made, I considered it a spoiled ballot for the purposes of the total.

You might want to put this stuff at the end. It's a major story spoiler
if the battle outcomes in the story are going to follow the votes, and
even if not, long author's pre-notes tend to turn off impatient readers
who want to get to the story. :)

    Well, I thought of that, or even putting it in a seperate post, but I
ended up flipping a coin. In the raac post, it'l appear at the very end of
all three chapters.

Certain things are next to impossible to describe; the kind of things

you

desperately try to relate to a friend at some later date, only to be met
with a blank, uncomprehending stare. You're eventually forced to fall

back

on saying, "You had to be there." The battle between Nerima's finest and

the

teenage Superhero team known as Young Justice was one of those things.
Still, this humble scribe will hereby attempt to render it, despite the
limitations imposed by a non-visual medium.

Okay, I'm gonna try not to harp on the talking directly to the readers
thing, as you seem to have made a stylistic choice in favor of it. But
this just reads like hype for your fic. You probably didn't intend it
that way, but your narrator is effectively telling us what a great story
this is going to be, and frankly that puts me off a bit. Just show us
your story, and we'll decide how marvelous and exciting it is. It's
especially wrong for this story, IMO. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's
been a fun read so far, but c'mon,

    Yeah, I suppose. I'll fiddle with it. I'm really _not_ bragging. It's a
silly little piece of fluff, and I know it.

Waters Under Earth it ain't.

    Don't get me started. WUE is a personal hobgoblin of mine. Not that I
didn't like it, but... Eh, won't go into it here. Suffice it to say that
this fic doesn't aspire to be WUE, for good or for ill. I have no
pretentions of authorial greatness. I will cheerfully state that I am a
hack; I merely aspire to be an entertaining (and gramtically correct, with
your help)hack.

It's a
superheroes vs. martial artists battle, f'cryinoutloud. Not terribly
hard to describe compared to a lot of other things you could be writing,
especially from a detached omniscient POV.

    I suppose not. I've written a couple of comic-book scripts in my day
(used to work for a now-defunct small press publisher called "Omen Comics".
Don't worry if you haven't heard of 'em. No one has. They sucked.) What I'm
getting at is that I'm used to describing super-battles in script form, and
the mental adjustment is tough. I will try harder, though.

3. Nabiki Tendo heard the sound of a thousand cash registers

simultaneously

going -cha-ching- as she observed the fight through the viewfinder of her
camcorder.

Um, why? I thought you said the betting thing was taken out. Is she
planning to sell the video? Nabiki doesn't always *have* to have a
money-making angle; there's lots of times in the manga where she just
watches things for her own amusement.

    I suppose so, I was just trying to build on the cash-flow scheme angle
from the previous chapter. While mayhem is its own reward, since she _does_
have money on the fight, I figure she'd be into that angle of it on the
surface.

4. Headmaster Kuno was driven like a tent-peg into the ground as Li'l

Lobo

stomped on him in his eagerness to reach his opponent.

Suggest:

A foot drove Headmaster Kuno

or

A sudden impact drove Headmaster Kuno

or something like that. Try to avoid the passive.

    Right, gotcha. Passive=bad, active=good. Must... Remember...

"Damn, you're just pointy at both ends, aren't ya, Specs?" Superboy

taunted

as he flew sideways, allowing Mousse to shoot past him, ploughing up a

good

chunk of turf as he hit the ground.

plowing (?) This might just be a US/Canada language difference.

    Yep. Just like draft beer /draught beer. Or Zed vs. Zee. It's a Canuck
thing, you wouldn't understand... ~_^

"Oh I _know_ you didn't just say I was at your mercy. How clich�'d can

you

cliched

(Use ' only for possessives and contractions, and suggest avoiding the
accented characters as they aren't platform-independent.)

    Okey-dokey.

"So who are you supposed to be, then? 'Spatula-Lass'?" Arrowette called
back, simultaneously unloading a boxing-glove-tipped arrow, one that Ukyo
recognised as being another explosive-tipped arrow, and a third with an

odd

Suggest:

as being another explosive-tipped one,

or some such. That it's an arrow is already clear.

crook in the middle that somehow flew straight nonetheless. "S'that some

'ETTE: Yes, it's my Clyde Barrow arrow!

CLYDE: I'm not *that* odd.

    Groan. That was bad... ^_^

"This?" Ukyo batted aside, blocked and ducked under each arrow,
respectively. "This is pure skill, hon," she grinned. Then yelped as the

skill, hon." She grinned, then yelped as

or

skill, hon." She grinned. Then she yelped as

(The action of grinning is separate from her speaking the line of
dialog, so it's a separate sentence, and "yelped" needs a subject if you
want to make it a separate sentence.)

    Okay, right. I'm going to try snipping the grammar gaffes here, since
I've made so many. I shall repair them 'ere I post this to raac. I _do_
thank you for the hints, though. I mentioned before that English isn't my
first language; I spoke French exclusively until Kindergarten, and didn't
start learning the language formally until the fifth grade, (and even then
it was ESL) so it shows sometimes in my ignorance of basic grammatical
rules. I learned most of my English from the immersion method, so while I
have a good idea of what sounds and looks right, little things like
positioning punctuation, odd spellings and pluralization still sometimes
escape me.  Your tips are very helpful, and I appreciate 'em.

Akane couldn't help it. The little blonde girl looked so sweet and
harmless. She'd seen television footage of most of the others in action
before, but never the little blonde waif. She reminded her of her

"sister",

Kurumi. "Hi there, my name's Akane, what's yours?"

"Hi there. My name's Akane. What's yours?"

(As written it's a run-on, and if she's patronizing the girl, it's
appropriate for her to use short sentences anyway. ^_^)

    D'oh! I _know_ this, actually. <baps self over head with cluestick>

Akane's eyes began to cloud with tears. For the first time since they'd
met, Ranma actually _needed_ her help, and she couldn't give it! She

could

just hear him now: *Akane, you're useless. Ya can't even beat some little
girl. I don't wanna marry a weenie like you, so I'm gonna go off an' have
hot, sweaty sex with Ukyo an' Shampoo an' Kodachi an', _heck_ why not? I
think I'll boff that hot lookin' chick with the arrows while I'm at it.
Nyeah.*

I really like your treatment of Akane. You've avoided both extremes to
show us a likeable but imperfect character. (Even if you did have to
stick in a reference to OAV continuity. Bleah. ^_^)

    When writing Akane, I try to take my cue from Kasumi: "She really is a
very nice girl. She's just a violent maniac." Compassionate, yet
belligerent, and terribly insecure. Much like Ranma, really, if you think
about it...

    As for the OAV ref...

    Sorry, I'm an anime kinda guy. Right down to the hair colors. (I know, I
know, it's a visual clue for the viewers, invisible to the characters. And I
don't care. Nyeah. ; p)

"Who da Main Man?!" He yelled to the crowd, flexing a bicep and kissing

it

for the ladies. "_I'm_ da Main Man!" He felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Huh?"

ROBIN: It's me. Just came to tell you that the water main needs fixing
again.

LOBO: Why ya tellin' me? Call the mai... um, right. I'll get on it right
after this fight.

"It's rude to turn your back on an opponent," Ryoga growled, knuckles
cracking. "Not to mention stupid!" He delivered a vicious haymaker of his
own, sending Lobo arcing back a good dozen yards. Unlike his foe, he

charged

forward, a barrage of bandanna-shuriken preceding him as he used his free

Actually, the multiple bandanna thing only worked in that initial fight
against Ranma, and he never used it again after that.

    Canonically, no. But why learn a technique like "Cloth of Iron" (oops,
gamerspeak) if you never, ever use it? Besides, it's a visually cool move
that looks great in a comic. After all, how often does Ranma use the Hiryuu
Shoten Ha after the ultimate weakness moxibustion arc? During two other
fights, IIRC (vs. Herb + vs. Saffron), yet it's not at all unusual to see it
used in fanfic and other not-quite-canon things like the movies, OAVs  and
suchlike. It's a just-plain-cool lookin' move, IMHO, hence it's popularity.

Urm, that sounded awfully like a rant, didn't it? Wasn't supposed to be,
sorry.

"Would'ja just hold still an' let me hit ya?" Ranma snarled, throwing
another futile jab-jab-spin-kick combination at the human whirlwind that

was

Impulse, who simply wasn't there whenever a fist or foot was supposed to
land.

"Naw,thatwouldn'tbeverysmart.MaxwouldbeprettyupsetifIdidthat.Say,that'spret

t

yneat.Whydoyoucallitthechestnutfist?Idon'tseeanychestnutshere.Didyouwantsom

e

?'CauseIcouldgogetsomeifyawant,it'snotrouble,really..."

You've got a double line space between these paragraphs that looks
unintended.

    You're right, it wasn't intended. Will fix.

Impulse continued to literally run circles around the pigtailed martial
artist, babbling all the while.

"IsthechestnutthingsortalikeJesseQuick'sspeedformula?'CauseMaxsaysthat'sabi

g

ol'cheatandthatJessean'herDad(he'sdeadbytheway)can'tgetpasttheirmentalblock

a

boutusin'theirspeedwithoutsayingit.Ikindathinkhe'sright,'causeitdoesn'tdoan

y

thingforme.3X2(9YZ)4A!See,doesn'tmakemeanyfasteratall.Here,letmetrysomethin

'

.KACHUTENSHINAMAGURIKEN!

Missing an end quote mark.

    Yurk! Will fix.

Ranma, seemingly forgotten in Impulse's glee at copying his technique,
winced as he found his feet. "Geez, it's like fightin' Copycat Ken all

over

again. All the skills in the world ain't gonna do me much good against a

kid

who can dodge or copy 'most anythin' I throw at him..."

And now we're in TV continuity. Bleh. :) (Just a personal bias on my
part, so you probably shouldn't worry about it.)

    (See above, and I do not begrudge you your bias. We all have 'em, for
one thing or another. I, f'instance, prefer the Evangelion manga to the
anime, even though the anime came first.)

Ranma gritted his teeth, but continued anyway. "Betcha can't do _this_,"
Ranma snarled, summoning the Soul of Ice technique and causing the

ambient

temperature in a two-meter radius to drop ten degrees.

Does the SoI really have that noticeable an effect? Can't remember it
doing so.

    Well, it did in the anime... Glowing blue aura, temperature change great
enough to contract metal... It's a not-uncommon fanfic convention that the
SoI is literally cold, so I feel comfortable using it. Your mileage may
vary.

Ranma continued to project his cold ki outwards, a refinement of the

Soul

of Ice he had first used against Saffron.

He was using the one of the Phoenix artifact thingies then to generate
the cold, if I remember right.

    Could be. I've only read the Phoenix Mountain arc once, and that was
over a year ago. I shall refresh my memory at the ranmascan project. If I'm
wrong, I'll simply drop the line about Saffron.

Flash Fact: Speedsters draw their abilities from the Speed Force, a
quasi-sentient energy field that exists just beyond the lightspeed

barrier.

Like a certain other Force, it surround and infuses those who wield it,

"<If you really _are_ an Amazon, you'll know the Secret Handshake,>"
Shampoo stated, extending her hand to the American girl.

I stopped reading Wonder Woman when Perez stopped writing it. It sounds
like Amazon culture's changed a bit since then. ^_^

    Ooh, you've missed some good stuff, like Bill Loeb's run on the book.
You didn't miss anything by dodging the Byrne run, though; the only good
thing he did was bring back the Golden Age Wondy and introduce the current
Wonder Girl. In three years worth of books, that ain't much...

Seriously, the humor in this falls rather flat for me, just because a
handshake is such a completely un-Amazonish gesture. Maybe you could
come up with someting with a flavor that's more along the lines of what
we've seen for the Amazons (in either series)?

    It was a gag suggested by another respondent. _I_ thought it was cute...
I'll see what I can do to make it either more serious or sillier; either
direction should work to make it Takahashi-esque, wouldn't you say?

Wonder girl began to sweat as she racked her brain. Diana had shown it

to

her, but... "Uh, like this?" she clutched Shampoo's offered hand in a

She clutched (Caps, as it's a new sentence)

complicated sequence of grips that finished with the pair gripping each

Might want to reword out the repetition of "grip."

    Right. Will change to "clasp."

He drew his collapsible Bo staff and made a few tentative thrusts

forward,

only to have each turned aside. Closing for a hand to hand assault gained
him nothing but a series of clouts to the head that he _knew_ must be

Suggest: that he _knew_ had to be

    Okay... Is that passive vs. active again, there? I have a hard time
telling, sometimes...

swelling up into fairly impressive knots.

"Ha! Foolish gaijin dog!" Kuno declaimed, holding his wooden bokken in a
ready position, "No mere practitioner of the dark arts of ninjitsu can

position. "No

defeat the Blue Thunder! Your very garb reveals your base and unholy
nature!"

ROBIN: Hey! I'm the first and only Robin to actually wear PANTS! What
more d'ya want?

    Actually, the Carrie Kelly Robin (Dark Knight Returns) is wearing pants
in Miller's sequel series (now on sale). Of course, they're leopard-spotted,
but still...

Due to some rather... unorthodox... training the previous August,

Tatewaki

Kuno gained another permanent fixture to his Enemies List. The results of

Kuno had gained

Robin needed all his skill with the Bo, as well as every once of

gymnastic

ounce

ability the Dark Knight had taught him, just to stay clear of the

thrusts.

"Why-" dodge, parry, "Does everyone assume-" block, block, parry, "That

I'm

Again, the punctuation is messed up here. Unless you have a verb that
refers to the dialog (like a "said"), the prose actions should be
complete sentences of their own.

    Right. I'll try to straighten it out in the final draught. (draft,
whatever)

However, he _was_ still only a college intern, and as such was forced to
act as 'gopher' for the _real_ project scientists. Amongst other duties

was

the carrying out of maintenance orders for various test subjects. He

scowled

as he read the week's orders, sent down from Professor Ohta himself.

You're giving us a heck of a lot of backstory on this character. Do we
really need to know all of this? Considering that the order to release
the subject is pretty much already made, does it really matter who he
is?

    It's not essential to the story, but I am building up to a (probably
pretty pitiful) gag with this. Besides, I wanted to make sure that the
release was actually carried out on-camera, so to speak, since it was
initially only mentioned in a brief aside in the first chapter.

"Dis be no fun," Headmaster Kuno complained, strumming out a mournful

air

on his ukulele. "Dese keiki don' be havin' enough o' a challenge, yeah?"

He

produced a small box with a Big Red Button on top and extended the

antenna.

Why capitalize "big red button?"

    For emphasis. No good? I change.

1. Ukyo was momentarily startled as Secret flew _through_ her due to the
knockback from Akane's punch, allowing Arrowette a moment to whip out a
spare bowstring and attempt to restring her bow.

Suggest rewording somehow to get rid of the repetition of "bow" and
"string."

    Can't avoid repeating "string", but I'll replace the second "bow" with
"weapon."

2. Tatewaki Kuno stood up from a dead faint, crying "I fight on!" This
caused Robin to spring back without looking and fall into one of the

furrows

dug up by Ryoga and Li'l Lobo's game of shot-for-shot.

BATMAN: Wotta putz.

ROBIN: I heard that!

    Heheh.

4. Ranma's improperly-executed Hiryu Shoten Ha interacted with the Speed
Force surrounding Impulse and detonated into a massive explosion of
lightning and icy clouds that swiftly enveloped the field, blowing all
concerned off their feet.

That might be a bit much action to happen all at once.

    Yeah, I thought so. Problems with a non-visual medium, and all that. I'm
at something of a loss as to how to convey it otherwise, though.

6. Headmaster Kuno's Device activated, exploding from the turf in the

centre

device (not a proper name)

    Whoops! Not intentional, will fix.

Kimiyo hammered the call-button on the Justice League communicator sewn
into her right glove. "This is Dr. Light in Japan! We have an emergency,

I

repeat, an emergency! I need backup, boy, do I need backup! J'onn, Clark,
Diana, anyone!"

Even if she knows it, I think she'd have sense enough not to blab
Superman's real name where Lobo (for example) could hear it.

    She's well away from the other combat right now, and airborne over a
generally non-English-speaking city, so I figured she'd be safe. But if it
rings that falsely to you, I can change it, no probs. (Actually, this is
likely my fault, if you can't tell that Doc Light isn't at Furinkan yet.
I'll see what I can do to clear it up.)

High above on the surface of the moon, relays beamed the message into

the

fringes of the solar system, where the JLA was desperately attempting to
destroy a Khundish invasion fleet that had warped into the orbit of Pluto
minutes before. Aquaman, forced into manning the comm. system of the

JLA's

spacecraft by virtue of being unable to contribute to the space battle,
answered. "Dr. Light, we read you. We're a little tied up right now

saving

the world from alien invasion."

AQUAMAN: Message received. I'll go right away and talk to the fishes.

    CRAB: Un-dah da sea... Un-dah da seaaaa...

    AQUAMAN: Shut up, Sebastian.

Kimiyo hung her head in misery. There was no _way_ she could handle the
creature on her own. What on earth possessed the intern to let this thing
loose? she wondered. He was gone, first thing tomorrow. Assuming Japan
survived 'till tomorrow...

'til (I think)

    right, diminuitive form for "until". I will fix it.

"Kamisama!" Dr. Light swore, "He's headed for the suburbs!"

"Kamisama!" Dr. Light swore. "He's

or

"Kamisama," Dr. Light swore, "he's

Nabiki Tendo was _not_ a happy camper. Visions of piles of yen suddenly
sprouted wings and flapped away as what was originally a series of
straightforward challenge matches, rapidly degenerated into a

free-for-all

brawl, pitting random Neriman against random Superhero, and both sides
against the Big Kahuna's... Thing.

thing. (not a proper name)

    Thought it had to be capitalized since the ellipsis indicates the end of
the first sentence. No?

"No, you idiots! Stick to your own opponents!" she cried through the
megaphone, but if anyone heard her over the noise, they didn't obey.

Nabiki

begin to quietly weep. "I _must_ be losing my touch," she moaned. "I
should've known this would happen." Oh the shame. She'd thought she'd
covered all the angles; she had people betting on individual fighters as
well as the spread, but somehow, someway, she hadn't factored in outside
interference from Da Principal or other matches.

That *is* pretty dang stupid for her. If anything, I'd think she'd be
*counting* on outside interference to invalidate the results so that she
wouldn't have to pay off.

    Missing that angle is yet another reason for her to quit.

Nabiki's left eye began to twitch in time with the quivering of her

bottom

lip. "Stupid, stupid... Serves me right for listening to the

wastebasket."

TSUBASA: Heh heh.

    Heheh. You're not the only person who thought of that gag, actually. To
be honest, it didn't occur to me until it was pointed out...

Their individual fights put aside in the face of the monstrous
Mecha-Pineapple, twelve abnormally-powerful teenagers lay siege to the

laid siege to (past tense)

    So "lay" is only past tense if you're laying down, not laying siege?
i.e.: She lay down on the couch?

The Furinkan High Irregulars were in their element. At one time or

another,

each had faced the maniacal machinations of Da Principal. True, this was

the

Um, not really. Ryoga, Shamps, and Mousse never did, as they don't go to
Furinkan.

    I figured they'd've run afoul of him at some point off-camera in between
adventures. After all, all three of them pop by Furinkan during school hours
on a number of occasions. Shampoo and Ryoga more than Mousse, admittedly.

Kuno sniffed. "Though it pains me to say this, I owe you thanks,

Watermelon

Boy. Think not, however, that this spares you from my vengeance ere my
father's vile creation lies broken!"

"Ere" means "before," while "after" is clearly intended here.

    Right. Gotcha. I used it correctly above, though! See? I _can_ be
taught...

In the air above, Wonder Girl wrestled with a half-dozen steel tentacles
tipped not with shears but with grabber-claws. Every time her gods-gifted
strength yanked one out it's housing, another swarmed forth to take it's

its (both times; it's means "it is")

    Man, that _always_ gets me. the apostrophe indicates the possessive,
right? So why isn't it used above? Is this one of those cases of the
language just being weird, or what?

A mannequin head wearing shades and a tiny palm  tree growing out of its
hair sprang out of the end of the limb the chef had blocked. "Aloha! De
wahines get de bowl-cuts!" It squawked, its grinning mouth springing open

it (no caps, as presumably it's squawking the line of dialog, not
just squawking).

    right, gotcha.

"Aiyah..." Shampoo said breathily, before shaking her head violently.

"Aiya..." or "Ai ya..."

    Now this one, I _do_ know. I put the "h" there to indicate breathiness
and inflection, much like writing "sugar" "sugah" in an X-men comic.

"Whoa!" Superboy gasped, taking in the sight of a muddy-yet-stunning
redhead that had appeared from nowhere. "Got-ta get me some'a _that_!"

SUPERBOY: Wow! It's one of those hair colors only clones can see!

RANMA: Where?

    Grrr! You _are_ quite the manga-naziH^H^H^H^Hpurist, ain't'cha? Let's
agree to disagree on this point, 'kay? ^_^

"I know not," Kuno intoned, flicking his wet bangs out of his eyes. "But

it

is doubtless some diabolical plot by mine own nefarious sire. Perhaps a
shampoo and blow-dry is next?"

MOUSSE: How DARE you suggest that Shampoo would....

    Ouch. Ouchouchouch. That was bad.

Ranma-chan snap-kicked the kendoist out of the yard. "Not now, jerk.
Awright," she called to the visiting team, "Who wants some?!"

"Me! Me!" Lobo and Superboy cried, jumping up and down. Wonder Girl's
eyebrow twitched and she began to growl, low in her throat.

Heh.

Impulse, newly recovered, noticed that Robin was making that face again,
but there was _still_ no sweatdrop appearing. He wondered if they'd

_ever_

learn how before they went home.

This is exactly the kind of handling for the sweatdrop references I was
suggesting in the last C&C.

    Glad it worked, that's what I was trying for. <grin>

"All... this... aside," Robin scowled wetly, "I think it's safe to say

we

aside." Robin scowled wetly.

won. Four of us are still here and standing, while your group," he

gestured

group." He

vaguely at Akane and Ukyo, "Is down to two. We win."

and Ukyo. "Is

(You need a "said" or similar verb if you want to break the dialog in
the middle of a sentence.)

    Ah. Will do.

On the sidelines, faint hope for salvaging her profits flared in

Nabiki's

breast. "Hold it! Hold everything," she called, charging onto to muddy
field, heedless of the spraying water. "I hereby declare this match null

and

void! Not only was there interference from outside," she jerked her head

outside." She

Wonder Girl sniffed. "And who asked you, you... you exhibitionist! Butt
out!"

"Hey! I ain't no exhibitionist! I've never even _looked_ at another

guy!"

Huh? That joke went over my head. Maybe something like "I've _never_
worked at a museum!" ?

    Never seen the TMNT movie? It's stolen from there. April says that Casey
Jones is claustrophobic, since he refuses to go down into the sewers with
her and the turtles, and he replies "Hey! I never even _looked_ at another
guy!" i.e., misunderstanding "claustrophobic" to mean "homosexual". Same
gag, different multi-syllable word. Although I like your gag, too.

"Auieee..." Da Kahuna moaned as he passed out, revealing Robin behind

him,

Revealing to whom? Confused by the POV here.

    Revealing him to the world at large. Doesn't work?

Nabiki swore fervently in Japanese as she picked herself up off the

ground.

Really don't think you need the "in Japanese" here. What *else* would we
expect her to swear in? ^_^;;

    Right, stupid of me, really. <baps self in head with cluestick, again>

NABIKI: Merde!

Author's notes: the Flash Facts and Ranma Facts bits are my personal

salute

to those seminal 60's Flash writers, John Broome and Julius Schwartz, who

Wasn't Schwartz an editor, rather than a writer?

    Both, although mostly only an editor during the late seventies and
pre-crisis eighties.

Apology: Gary, I know you're gonna hate my prose style in this piece, but
like I've said, it happens sometimes, and sometimes (I hope ~_^) it

works.

Hope you can enjoy it anyway.

Actually, I thought the writing was pretty good. True, I could've done
without the narrator intrusions, but there weren't too terribly many of
them and the rest had a quite good descriptive style. The only thing
that really needs to go, IMO, is the opening paragraph.

All in all, a fun read, with quite good characterizations. Looking
forward to seeing the big battle when it's ready.

    Glad you managed to get past the flaws, then. Part three will be ready
when it's ready, likely sometime in January (I hope.) As it is December 22nd
as I write this, I'll wish you a merry Christmas, if you celebrate it, and a
happy new year.

Dave Menard

You're the cutest of the Scoobies,
With your lips as red as rubies,
And your firm and supple... tight embrace!
-Xander, BTVS "Once More With Feeling"

Dawn's in danger? Oh. It must be Tuesday.
-Buffy, BTVS "Once More With Feeling"

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