----- Original Message -----
From: "C. Jones" <guilty@furinkan.net>
To: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Friday, December 21, 2001 7:06 PM
Subject: [FFML] [Ranma][Lemon] newRanma 17


    Waiwaiwai! A new chapter of NewRanma! Ah, a perfect holiday gift, and
lemony-fresh, too!

A few hours of surreptitious observation of his classmates
confirmed Ranma's suspicions. Other guys *did* seem to have to deal
with it. Ranma felt a little odd trying to look at other guy's
crotches without being noticed, but one or two of them did seem to
bulge more than normal during the times they stood up in class.
Hiroshi, he noticed, carried a book with him if he left to use the
restroom during the between-class breaks once or twice during the
day. He shifted the book seemingly without thinking about it, keeping
it between his waist and the rest of the room. Ranma could tell by
the tightness around his eyes and tenseness of his shoulders that
Hiroshi was very much aware of what he was doing, and probably more
than a little sensitive about it.

    Once again, NewRanma hits painfully home. Any male on the planet can
relate to that embarrassment.

The girls were all very thankful for Ranma's help, and showed
their thanks by warmly embracing him. Of course, they had not yet
been able to replace the clothes that the evil warrior had torn off
their bodies, so they did this in only tatters of lingerie.

    Of course...

Then, Ranma grabbed Nabiki by the wrists and started doing
the kinds of things to her that the evil warrior had been about to.

    Heheheh. Oh, Ranma you naughty boy. Have you been reading some of
Jones-san's other fics? Like, say, "Fantasy Life?" On a slightly more
serious note, its interesting to see he's still fixated on Nabs as a sex
object. This is likely to cause some serious complications in his future
relationships. Goody!

There were a few titters of laughter around the classroom.
Akane looked back over her shoulder at Ranma, curiosity warring with
irritation on her face.

"What on earth is keeping you from doing what I ask,
Saotome?" the teacher asked in irritation.

"My leg went to sleep," Ranma improvised. "And if I get up,
then I'm gonna fall right back down again. Everyone will laugh at
me."

    Nice save, Ranma-kun! I'm sorry I never thought of that one myself...

Afterwards, much to Ranma's surprise, Soun gave him a list of
things he had let slip or needed improvement on. Ranma had to admit
that Akane's father was a very good martial arts sensei.

    Interesting, in that Soun is finally given his due. He's gotta be good
at it, since he's made a living at for years, right? But so few fics even
touch on it. (Neither did Takahashi-sama, for that matter) Soun's one of my
faves, so it's nice to see him given a little credit.

Ranma considered trying to get Akane to spar with him, but
the girl had been looking at him a little oddly the last few days. He
mentioned it to Kasumi in passing that night after dinner.

"You've grown quite a bit during the last three months," the
young woman noted. "You've also done some filling out across the
shoulders. Akane is probably just being shy because you look a little
different. That's all."

Could that be it? Was Akane afraid of him perhaps? Maybe it
was something else. Perhaps she was attracted to him. That couldn't
be. Could it?

    Nawww. Couldn't be.

"This is so embarrassing," she mumbled. "Please go
downstairs, Ranma," Nodoka asked after a few seconds. "Your father
and I will be down in just a second."

    Once again, caught in flagrante delecto. Heh. Go Nodoka!

Grinning, but still a little confused, Ranma went down stairs
and informed the Tendous that his parents had returned. After a few
minutes, Genma and Nodoka both walked gravely down the stairway and
bowed to the Tendous.

Genma looked healthier than Ranma had even seen him. He had
lost a significant amount of weight in the last few weeks, and
appeared sharp and alert. A few strands of black hair were protruding
out from underneath his bandanna.

    Nani?! Did they both get a dip in the fountain of youth?

"Aunty, your hair!" Akane exclaimed after everyone had
welcomed the pair back.

Nodoka glared at the girl, but didn't say anything.

Indeed, Nodoka was dressed nicely, wearing a fairly
attractive dress, but her normal hairstyle had altered. It had
apparently been cut, and instead of a large, single bun in back,
Nodoka now wore two small odango-style buns on either side of her
head.

    Nodoka's joined the Amazon tribe? Egads. Shampoo'll _love_ this...

Most significant was the fact that Nodoka's hair color was
now bright red, a match for Ranma's girl-side.

"Don't let her intimidate you, Akane," Genma told her. "It's
her natural color, but she's been dying it for years."

"But why, Aunty?" Kasumi asked. "It's so beautiful."

"It's embarrassing!" Nodoka exclaimed, her cheeks almost as
red as her hair. "It makes me stand out!"

    How very true. And very Japanese. (Buncha conformist zombies,
grumble-grumble... Joke! Joke!)

"Oh, like that would be a change for the Saotomes," Nabiki
joked.

    Also very true. Face it, 'Doka-chan, your whole family is doomed to be
the proverbial nails that stick up. Deal with it. Hell, _embrace_ it! Become
one with your weirdness.

"And how did you grow it out so fast?" Akane wondered.

"And where did you go?" Soun asked. "You both look like
you've spent months at a health spa."

"Hard exercise does have certain effects," Nodoka answered.

    Baloney! She's hidin' something! Nabs and Ranma'd better get to the
bottom of this.

"But most of it probably came out of that magical onsen in
Hawaii," Genma said. "It was horrible, Tendou," Genma said. "We were
taken prisoner and dumped into a magical bath. At first I thought it
was another curse, but then I found it was infinitely worse than
that."

"You didn't think it was very bad when those three
priestesses started swarming all over you," Nodoka noted with a
raised eyebrow.

    Heheh. Shades of the Buffy episode featuring Dracula. "Okay, sir, no
more chick-pit for you..."

"I thought we weren't going to discuss that," Genma replied
in embarrassment.

"Priestesses?" Ranma wondered out loud.

"Of some pacific island fertility goddess. There were priests
too," Genma noted in an off-hand manner. "At least I think they were
priests. Did you ever find out dear? I was rather occupied at the
time."

Nodoka blushed and grimaced. "It wasn't my fault!" she
announced a little too loudly. "It was because of that magical
necklace. Besides, I thought you had forgiven me for that."

    Oh HO! Sauce for the goose, and all that. Heheheh. Are you sure you're
not really Jim Bader? Oh, no, wait. If you were Bader, it would've happened
on camera. Never mind.

"I had. I was just wondering," Genma told her. "After the
priestesses poured cold water on me, they weren't nearly so
interested any more, and tried to chase me away, so I never got the
chance to see what they finally did to you."

"It doesn't matter after what they made us do together on the
goddess's altar, does it?" Nodoka asked in a quiet tone.

Genma cleared his throat. "I guess not. That's an experience
I'm not going to forget in a hurry."

"Oh my!" Kasumi said, blushing to her collar. She turned and
fled from the room.

    Off to take a "nice, long bath", eh Kasumi?

"Well, well..." Nabiki said, eyeing the couple in surprise.

Ranma's eyes widened in shock. Apparently, his parents little
vacation had been quite an... interesting... adventure. Both his
parents sported very guilty expressions. He noted that they were
holding hands, though. Whatever had happened seemed to have patched
the difficulties they'd been having.

Akane gasped, and glared at Ranma as Soun and Genma started
to discuss the more mundane aspects of the sabbatical.

"What?!" Ranma challenged her

"You're whole family is perverted, Ranma!"

"Shut up, Akane!"

    Akane, Akane... It ain't perverted if you're married! I hope she was
joking here, 'cause otherwise, I forsee some unfortunate developments in
your future relationship with Ranma. After all, he/she's discovering his/her
sexuality, and you're still bottling yours up...

* * *

When Ranma got back up to his room later that evening, Nabiki
was waiting for him, sitting on his bed. She was fidgeting idly. For
a second, he wondered if she had come to try something naughty again,
but the expression said that something was wrong. Ranma did his best
to keep his eyes from lingering on the hem of her shorts or her long
legs. "What's up?" he asked defensively. He tried to keep a middle
ground in the room, neither approaching nor retreating from the girl.

"How would you feel about paying some of your debt off?"
Nabiki asked. Her tone was almost pleading.

    Cue the cheesy bass line... Waka-chika-WOW! Waka-chika-wow-WOW!

"It's Taiyoko," Nabiki explained. "She's in a lot of
trouble."

"With her parents?" Ranma guessed.

Nabiki nodded. "Her father caught her... in a awkward
situation...  with... another girl." Nabiki blushed at the statement.

    (cue sarcasm)Hmm. I wonder who.

"That's why you're going to ask her out on a date," Nabiki
cut him off. "If it's convincing enough, they'll relent."

    No good can come of this. Period.

"Man, Nabiki," Ranma said seriously. "You know as well as I
do how much can go wrong with a plan like that."

"I don't know what else to do. Can you think of anything
else?" she pleaded.

"Not really," he admitted.

Nabiki covered her eyes with one hand, still trembling. She
seemed to deflate, completely out of hope.

"I'll do it," Ranma said after several seconds of thought.
"I'll probably regret it, but..."

"Thank you," Nabiki said, her voice full of relief.

"I'm just glad Taiyoko has a friend like you," Ranma said.

Nabiki coughed once, but then nodded.

    No a terribly faithful girlfriend, though, is she? At least her heart's
in the right place, even if her hormones aren't.

After he and Nabiki sketched out a quick itinerary for the
proposed date, Ranma sought out Akane to explain things to her.

"She's gay?!" Akane shouted in obvious distaste after Ranma
explained his plan. "Why, that no-good, lying--"

"You don't have to throw a fit about it," Ranma cut his
fiancee off. "Why're you so upset about it anyway?"

"That's just not... not... just not right! She shouldn't be
that way. It's perverted!"

    Hmm. Based on previous chapters, I'd say that the lady doth protest too
much. Playing with lingerie catalogues, (unless you've a "silky darlings"
fetish) would indicate to me a certain attraction to the female of the
species. Quick, Akane! What's the largest river in Africa? De Nile!

"Anyway, you understand why I'm gonna go on a date with her?"
Ranma asked, a little leery of the dark-haired girl's reaction.

Akane was visibly upset, but nodded in agreement. "It's her
own fault her parents are so mad at her, but I guess we should do
what we can do to help her."

    Ah, Akane. Judgemental and compassionate all in the same sentence. Very
in-character.

Ranma frowned, wondering why Akane had been set off so badly.
She usually looked at such things at distaste, but the ugly look of
loathing on her face was more intense than he had ever seen on her
before.

Ranma wasn't sure how Ukyou would react, but was confident
that he could avoid her for the duration of the date. Shampoo wasn't
likely to be a problem because she was back in China. Besides Akane's
trouble outburst, Ranma couldn't think of anything that could thwart
his plans.

    Um, Ranma? You're forgetting someone...

On the roof of the Tendou home, Kodachi laid a finger on her
chin in thought.

    Like _her_, for instance.

The gymnast wasn't certain, but she thought that the
girl that Akane Tendou and her Ranma-sama were discussing had been
one of the guests at the impromptu party a few weeks ago. She had
been distracted the entire time, waiting for Ranma-sama to arrive,
but now that she thought about it, something *did* seem a little off
about the girl.

    TAIYOKO: Whoop-whoop! I'm being actively pinged!
    Kodachi has a functioning gay-dar? Hmm. Makes sense, I suppose. An
all-girls school would tend to instill that in its students.

Of course, many things seemed odd... since the strange day
when Ranma and the pigtailed girl seemed to... change places.

Kodachi's mind shied away from the things she had seen and
heard. It was all too much to deal with.

Still, this latest development could prove problematic. It
sounded all rather too thin to her. It was possible that this was
nothing more than a shallowly-disguised plot to take Ranma away from
her. Kodachi decided that she would follow along... just in case.

    Okay, now it's just a matter of time before the other shoe drops. (Rubs
hands gleefully in anticipation)

"Well?"

"Her parents are going to let her go out," he said in a
conspiratorial tone.

"That's a good sign," Nabiki said thankfully.

"Hey, don't worry!" Ranma said. "We'll make it work out."

    (Thuder rumbles ominously in the distance) Yahright.

The house itself was fairly large. It must have been
hideously expensive, especially for the high-class neighborhood it
was located in. Ranma remembered vaguely that Taiyoko's father was a
business of some kind and that her mother ran a catering service.
They probably could afford it. He wondered briefly how such well-off
people could be so harsh on their only daughter.

    Ask the Kuno siblings. Poverty or lack thereof is no reliable
determinant of parenting ability.

Ranma paused near the glass window of a dress shop and
pointed at a sequined purse. When Taiyoko was staring at it,
wondering what was going on in her friend's head, Ranma raised his
finger to point at a reflection in the glass.

"Don't look behind you," Ranma whispered.

Taiyoko's eyes widened in horror as she realized she could
see both her parents in the reflection as they darted inside a shop
across the street.

    A-ha. The other shoe has dropped. Now it's only a matter of time before
Kodachi stumbles across them, and then mayhem will no doubt ensue...

On the roof of a shop on the other side of the square,
Kodachi Kunou waited patiently, wondering how long Ranma and the
insipid girl hanging all over him would be about browsing the endless
little shops that lined both sides of the street.

She shifted positions uncomfortably, gravel from the roof
digging into her mostly-uncovered bottom through the fabric of her
leotard.

    Ouchie.

The only mitigating factor to her ordeal was the idiotic
little comedy proceeding below. Her Ranma-sama was being trailed by
two overweight and poorly disguised idiots, no doubt the parents of
the girl he was helping. Ranma obviously knew they were there,
because he kept his movements wide and open, overacting each
affectionate gesture or comment, hamming it up as if he were on
stage. He and his friend would move along from shop to shop, only to
be followed a few seconds later by their obtrusive tails.

    Huh? An accurate deduction... from a _Kuno_? Man, _everybody's_ doing
some growing up in this fic. Of course, the reduces the chance for mayhem
considerably, but... Hmm.

"Here," Ranma said, handing a pretty scarf he just bought to
Taiyoko. "A gift."

Taiyoko looked warmly at the scarf and her friend. "Thank
you, Ranma!" she said, embracing him warmly.

Ranma shrugged, a little embarrassed by the girl's gratitude.
"I'm glad you like it, but it's for show, mostly. Nabiki gave me the
money to buy it."

Taiyoko went misty-eyed for a second. "Oh..." she breathed.

"Yeah," Ranma agreed. "She's being a really good friend."

"She really is," Taiyoko said. "A truly wonderful person."

    Gleeps! Taiyoko's got it _bad_. Nabs had better clean up her act.

"I wouldn't go that far," Ranma noted dryly.

"She always takes such good care of me."

    Yeah, somehow I can't see Taiyoko as being the dominant partner in
_that_ relationship. Which is interesting, considering the varying
dominant-submissive roles present in the Nabiki/Ranma-chan flirtation.

Once inside, Taiyoko pointed at the couples riding swan-
shaped pedal boats on the large pond in the middle of the park.

"Do you know how bad an idea that is?" Ranma asked
incredulously.

"Why?" Taiyoko was genuinely curious.

"Well, I change with hot and cold water, right?"

"Yes..."

"Well... that's a whole lot of cold water. I bet sex-changing
martial artists would upset your parents even more than other girls."

    Aiyah. Ranma _is_ getting smarter. Or at least wiser.

"I t-thought t-they would be gone by now," the blonde girl
noted in a worried tone. "Do you t-t-think they suspect."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Ranma told her. "They're
probably convinced, and are just being nosy now."

"But what if t-they're not?" Taiyoko worried out loud. "What
if t-t-they know already? My father's going t-t-t-to st-t-tart
hitting me again--"

"Hitting you?!" Ranma demanded incredulously.

    Uh-oh. Situation just got worse. Taiyoko's daddy better watch out.

"--and my mother's going t-t-t-to send me a way and I'll
never get t-t-t-t-- I'll never get t-t-to see--"

Ranma considered his options for several seconds before
making what he considered to be a tactical battle decision. Taiyoko
was rapidly becoming incoherent with her stuttering and stammering.
If she got much worse, she risked giving them away and ruining the
deception they spent all afternoon building.

He silenced her stammers with a kiss.

Their lips met. Taiyoko was shocked at first, her eyes open
wide in horror and disgust, until she realized that Ranma's eyes were
open as well.

Ranma did his best to convey his apology and intentions with
his expression, darting his eyes back towards the distant shrubbery
once.

Taiyoko seemed to understand what he was doing. After a few
seconds of stunned silence, she started woodenly returning the kiss.
After a few more seconds, she closed her eyes.

    Uh-oh. I say again, no good can come of this. No good at all.

* * *

The little slut was kissing her Ranma-sama! Kodachi was
outraged. She leapt down from her perch, preparing to strangle the
tramp with her ribbon.

She was almost ten paces away before she saw the look of
horror and self-loathing on the blonde girl's features.

Kodachi stopped, and leapt up into a nearby tree just before
she struck, examining the two a little more carefully.

Neither looked very comfortable. Ranma's expression was stony
and resolute. The blonde girl, Kodachi thought her name was Taiyoko,
actually had tears standing in the corners of her eyes. It was hard
to tell, but Kodachi thought that neither her Ranma-sama nor the girl
he was helping liked what they were doing very much.

There was none of the excitement that Kodachi always thought
would surround such an illicit kiss. The atmosphere between the two
was tense, but it was strained and showed no arousal.

Kodachi suddenly realized that everything she had overheard
was true.

Her anger shifted from the blonde girl to the pair she could
see smirking at the spectacle in the bushes behind her Ranma-sama.
She began to grow frustrated with the sheer amount of time she had
spent spying on this hapless duo.

In irritation and disgust, Kodachi leapt from treetop to
treetop, away from the gruesome spectacle. It was just too much to
bear!

    <double-blinks> Okay, this isn't how things are supposed to go in a
Ranma story! There must be misunderstandings, romantic comedy, and jealous
fiancees! You aren't following the rules at all!

    Good.

"No." Ranma said more firmly. He felt sick to his stomach. It
was almost physically painful. "No, because even if we do, it would
just cause more problems. It wouldn't be just this once... It
couldn't be. It would be every time your parents got upset. I don't
want that."

He did want that, so badly that he could smell her. He knew
that would ruin any chance that either of them would ever have.

    Ouch. Painful scene. Well done, though.

"What right do you have to take our daughter away, faggot?!"
Her father asked in rage and sorrow.

Ranma paused, suddenly seeing the face of the man who
attacked Makuna-sensei. Did he really think that Ranma was...

Ranma shook his head. It didn't even really matter.

    Woo-hoo! He _has_ grown up! That one line, more than anything else in
the fic so far, indicates his growing maturity. Good job!

"If you had just walked her home, it would have been okay!"
she accused.

    Nabiki's a little jealous? But of whom? Hmm...

"Maybe it would have been," Ranma said. "But maybe her dad
woulda beat the shit out of her again. Maybe I don't wanna see my
friends hurt for no reason."

Nabiki deflated somewhat, but still glared darkly at Ranma.
She took a deep breath, and glanced at Taiyoko, who looked pretty
sheepish about the whole ordeal. "Well, it can't be helped. This
complicates things, but it's not completely unsalvageable."

"That's good," Ranma agreed. "Do you mind letting Taiyoko
stay in your room?"

"Of course I don't mind."

    <cue funky bass-line again>

After a short while thinking about Taiyoko's slender body and
the way it felt under his hands, Ranma was more aroused than he was
tired. He realized that there was no help for his situation but
another 'long bath'.

Sighing in resignment, but secretly looking forward to what
was about to happen, he went looking for a towel.

    Fap-fap-fap-fap-fap-fap-fap....

The bathroom was steamy. The gas burners that heated the furo
were turned almost all the way up, sending streams of vapor coiling
through the room. It condensed on the cold tile walls and made them
slick and wet. The two people in the furo, however, were warm and
comfortable.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Nabiki asked.

"Of course I'm okay, Nabiki. I have you and Ranma to take
care of me, after all!"

"You're acting a lot more cheerful than you look."

"I'm trying not to think about it."

"That bad, huh? Are you okay, Taiyoko-chan?"

The blonde girl nodded, sighing deeply.

"Did he hurt you?" Nabiki asked seriously.

"It hurt a little when he slapped me, but I was more afraid
than anything else."

"I meant Ranma."

Taiyoko was silent for several seconds. The only sound either
girl could hear was the slow, but steady dripping of water from the
shower nozzle.

"Ranma... Ranma did what I asked him to."

"You didn't actually--"

"No!" Taiyoko cut her off. "But... he could have. I could
tell that he wanted to. I think I would have let him if it meant that
my parents wouldn't try to keep us apart anymore."

Nabiki sighed. "Ranma was correct about one thing. Your
parents probably wouldn't have let up on you any more just because
they saw you playing around with a boy. If anything, it would have
made matters worse. I guess what he finally did was the right thing.
It's going to complicate things, but..."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Of course I'm not mad at you. You'll have to make it up to
me, though."

"Oh?" Taiyoko asked, a tone of interest entering her voice.

There was a splash of water as Nabiki moved around behind
Taiyoko. Two pale knees poked up on either side of the blonde girl,
and Nabiki's hands surfaced briefly around Taiyoko's waist.

"Oh..." Taiyoko noted in a breathy tone. She leaned her head
back against Nabiki's shoulder.

The dark-haired girl dropped her head slightly, allowing her
lips to brush Taiyoko's cheek.

There was another splash.

"Oh... ohhh..."

"So... what was it like?" Nabiki demanded in a mischievous
tone. "Having Ranma paw all over you, I mean."

    Thinking of trying him out yourself, Nabs?

"It feels... Oh... Ohhhhh... Please, Nabiki..."

"Please what?"

"Please... please don't stop..."

"Never," Nabiki assured her.

    Never? That's gonna make life interesting. Picture it: Nabiki's at
school, jotting down history notes with one hand, while with the other...

    Sensei: Um, Tendo-san?

    Nabs: Hai, sensei?

    Sensei: Could you _please_ leave Taiyoko-san outside during class,
you're distracting the other students...

    Nabiki glances around and sees that the entire class is either drooling
or retching. Kuno, in particular, is slowly bleeding to death on the floor
in a puddle of nasal blood.

    Nabs: Oh, sure, sensei.

    Taiyoko(Nekkid and writhing): Mouu, Nabiki-sama! You promised to never
stop!

    Ahem. Sorry 'bout that. imagination got away from me, there. Ahem.

"Ohhhh.... Ohhhhhh!"

Then the door slid open. Stirred by the cool air from outside
the room, the misty fog dissipated.

Ranma was standing in the doorway, a towel hanging around his
waist. His mouth worked up and down soundlessly as he stared at the
two girls.

Taiyoko's entire body blushed. Nabiki started to glare.

"Do you mind?" the dark-haired girl finally said. "Or are you
going to stare at us all night?

Ranma turned and fled.

    Alas, poor Ranma.  All that tension, then this. and he can't even "take
a bath"... Poor guy.

-----

~to be continued...
* * *

    Dang it! These chapters are _never_ long enough! More! More! I WANT
MORE!

    Ahem. Excuse me. Anyway, another fine chapter, full of thought provoking
material, lotsa nifty subtext, and some humour, too. Now, if only it doesn't
take a month to get chapter eighteen posted... ~_^

Dave Menard

You're the cutest of the Scoobies,
With your lips as red as rubies,
And your firm and supple... tight embrace!
-Xander, BTVS "Once More With Feeling"

Dawn's in danger? Oh. It must be Tuesday.
-Buffy, BTVS "Once More With Feeling"

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