I'm SO going to hell.  This story was created solely to make me laugh: I'm
posting it because, well, I'm wondering if it'll make anyone else laugh,
too. 
I've been playing an old SNES game called Harvest Moon, lately, and for the
entire game I've been trying to have a kid.  (In the game, you're a farmer.
You have to manage and tend a farm, complete with crops, livestock, and
varmints.  You make money by selling your crops - duh - and other stuff.
You can marry someone from the nearby town if you woo her sufficiently.)
When my wife finally got pregnant in the game, I thought of this whole
story, and said to myself between fits of laughter, "Hey, I should write
that!" 

So there you have it.  I'm pathetic beyond all reason.

Oh!  One more thing: this takes place in the present.  Location doesn't
matter that much; the climate is temperate.  The reason that the people
don't have any automated grain threshers or anything like that is, well, the
game doesn't have them.  Don't ask me; ask the makers of the game.  It's
their idea.

//////////////////////////

All names in the story are not owned by the author, and any attempt to sue
the author would waste SO much time and money that you'd ultimately regret
it.

/////////////////////////

I wipe my brow with the back of my sleeve as I look to the setting sun.
It's a nice, cool autumn day, and it's the one-year anniversary of my
marriage to Maria, the love of my life.  I wave to the deliveryman who picks
up my products, and he smiles back over a crate of my eggs.  I love this
place.

I put my scythe back into the shed and finish tying up the bundles of hay I
had cut that morning.  I look again at the sun, trying to gauge how much
time I have until my date with my wife.  I figure that I have just enough
time to go and get the present I've prepared for her.

I sneak off, past our dog, and as soon as I'm out of sight of the house, I
start running, not wanting to be late.  I run up the hill adjoining our
house and move to the place where I hid my wife's present.  I move aside a
strategically placed branch and am greeted with the most beautiful
arrangement of flowers ever known to man.  Flowers are growing there,
flowers from all over the world, and worth more than a month's earnings on
our farm; but it's worth it.  Maria is my whole life.

I gingerly pick from among the blossoms the basket of flowers I had prepared
early in the morning, taking special care not to bend or crush any of the
delicate plants.  Making my way carefully down the hill, I return to the
farm and hide the flowers behind the woodshed.  When I'm all cleaned up and
dinner is on the table, that's when I'll give them to her.

I step into the house with a smile and a shout of, "I'm home!"

"Hello, darling!" my wife beams as she exits the kitchen.  She's wearing the
same plain dress she always does; and her long, blue hair is in the same
ponytail that it always is; but she looks more beautiful than I can ever
remember her looking.  She's holding what seems to be a vegetable, and she
has a knife in one hand.  "I'm just making dinner right now.  Why don't you
get cleaned up and changed, and then when you're done, I'll get cleaned up
and change, okay?"  Her smile melts my heart.

"All right.  I'll be as quick as I can."  I flash my wife a smile before
grabbing a towel and heading off into the bathroom.  I shower quickly and
head into the bedroom to change.  My general dress-up clothing - a pair of
slacks and a plain, cotton, button-up shirt - aren't proper for such an
occasion as our one-year anniversary, so I went out and bought a suit just
for this occasion earlier in the week.  Some people would say that I'm
spending far too much money on today, but the fact of the matter is that I
love my wife more than I love money; besides, our farm does very well.  

I change into the dark blue suit, put on a matching tie, and am proceeding
to comb my hair as my wife walks in the room dusting off her hands on her
apron.  "Honey, I'm all finished now.  I'll�" she trails off as she sees my
clothing.  "Where did you get that?" she asks quizzically.  

"I ordered it from a shop in town."  I smile to myself as my wife walks over
and examines my suit closely.  

"How much did it cost?"  She delicately feels the fabric, trying to discern
what exactly it is.

"It wasn't that much money, really," I say innocently, going back to combing
my hair.  "You should really go and shower, now."

She smiles and wraps her arms around my waist.  "Okay, but I'll feel
horribly underdressed with you in that suit, you know."

I sigh to myself.  "Yeah, well, the dress I ordered for you is on back
order, and won't be here for another week."  I cringe and berate myself for
my slip-up.

"What?" she asks as she turns me around.  She forces me to look straight
into her eyes, and I can see that she's genuinely touched by the thought,
but at the same time is horrified at the expense.  "How much did you spend
on clothes, dear?"

I just shrug sheepishly and smirk.  "It was worth it.  Let's leave it at
that.  Now, if you don't go shower quickly, the food is going to be cold by
the time you get out."  I wink at her and gently propel her toward the
bathroom.  

She gently laughs, a sound that sends shivers down my spine, and says,
"Fine, fine, I won't ask.  You know what you're doing."  As she closes the
door to the bathroom, she looks at me and smiles warmly.  "Thank you for
thinking of me, though."

"How could I not?" I say to the closed door, and hear my wife's giggles in
reply.

Great!  Now is the time to go and get the flowers.  I quietly step outside
and grab the present.  As I approach the front porch, our dog - whose name
is Dogg - barks and runs over to me, tail wagging madly.  "No, Dogg, not
now," I quietly say, trying to avoid his attempts to trip me up.  "What's
that?" I exclaim, suddenly looking away from the house.  Dogg looks, and I
slip into the house unmolested.  Excellent.

The dinner table is already set, and the food is being kept warm in the
oven.  The centerpiece on our dining table is a plain, crystal bowl filled
with fruit.  It was a wedding gift from Maria's parents.  Well, it is time
for it to go, at least for a while.  I gingerly set down the flowers, again
taking special care not to damage the arrangement in any way, and remove the
crystal bowl from the table.  I place it in a cupboard and return.  As I
place the flowers on the table, I hear Maria exit the bathroom, humming to
herself.  That was quick.  Oh, well.  I smile as my wife contentedly hums.

After the floral arrangement is adjusted perfectly, I move into the kitchen
and start to move the food out onto the table.  The spaghetti I carry to the
dining area; the bread is sliced and placed next to the pasta.  The sauce
goes into a nice, porcelain bowl, part of a set we received as a wedding
gift from some friends of ours from town.  I put the salad on the table, and
the dressing.  Soon all the food is on the table.

I look around the room slowly.  Something's not right.  Snapping my fingers,
I rush over to a cupboard and remove two crystal candlesticks - the brothers
of the bowl - and two candles.  Placing them on the table, on either side of
the flowers, I light them and smirk to myself.  Perfect.  Well, not perfect.
I wish I had some romantic music, or something.  But we have no stereo, and
I couldn't very well just up and buy one.  Our finances can't handle THAT
big of a blow.  It had been either the earrings or the stereo, and that was
no choice at all.

The door to our bedroom opens.  "GAH!" I exclaim.  "No!  Wait a second!  I'm
not ready!"  I rush to turn off the lights in the room and close the drapes.
I run about the room, making sure everything is just right.  Sticking my
hand in my pocket, I confirm that the earrings are still there.  Good.
"Okay, you can come out, now."

The door opens the rest of the way, and my wife steps out.  She is dressed
in the nicest clothes she owns - a modest, sleeveless, dark blue dress with
a delicate sheen to the fabric - and has her long, slightly moist hair
combed and pulled into a ponytail which is slung across her shoulder and
hangs down to her waist in the front.  Her deep, brown eyes catch mine for a
split second before dropping to the floor.  She is so incredibly beautiful
that it takes me a full half-minute to realize that she's nervous.  "Is
something wrong?" I ask concernedly.

"�Kind of," she mutters sheepishly after a pause.

I walk across the room and place my hands on her shoulders.  "What is it?"

She timidly meets my gaze.  "Well�I feel so�plain�with you all dressed up,
and�I just�didn't want to ruin the evening, or anything."  Her gaze again
drops to the floor as she says dejectedly, "I'm sorry.  I didn't have
anything better to wear.  I don't even own any makeup."

Another long pause ensues before I laugh heartily and pull her into an
embrace.  "I'm sorry; I don't mean to make light of your feelings, but you
must forgive me for finding that funny.  You know that it doesn't matter to
me what you wear, and you don't need any makeup; you're beautiful without
any."  I give her a gentle squeeze as she wraps her arms around me.  "But it
didn't bother you earlier when you saw me in my suit."

"That was before I saw how plain and boring I look," she pouts.

I chuckle and take a step back, keeping my arms on her shoulders.  "Oh,
come, now.  You're beautiful."  She refuses to meet my eyes again, so I
gently lift her chin with one finger.  "Look at me.  You're the most
beautiful woman in the world, and there's no one else with whom I would
rather spend my life."

Maria, though, just turns around and says, "No, I'm plain."

I sigh to myself and reach into my pocket for the earrings, hoping that they
will take her mind off of such a ridiculous subject.  Palming one in each
hand, I ask, "Hey, what's that on your ear?"

"Huh?" she asks dumbly as she feels her ears for any anomalies.  "What do
you mean?"  She turns around to face me again.  "Where?"

I gently brush her hands aside and reach to her ears.  "Right here," I say
as I 'remove' the earrings from her ears.  "Well!" I exclaim with wide eyes,
holding up the sparkling emerald earrings.  "When did you get these, dear?"
I ask, trying not to smile at the look on her face.

"You didn't," she says breathlessly, taking one of the earrings and
examining it.  After a moment, she looks back at me and repeats, "You
didn't."

Innocently, I reply, "Didn't what?  Find them in your ears?  You saw me just
now.  What I'm wondering is where you got them."  This time, I can't keep
the smile off of my face despite all my efforts.

"How much did these cost?" she breathes, again examining the green stone in
her hand. 

Avoiding the question, I reply, "They match the dress I ordered for you.  I
was supposed to have given you both last night, but the dress didn't come,
so I couldn't."  I shrug and take the second earring from my wife's hand.
"Here, let me help you."  I gingerly place the stones on my wife's ears and
give her a small peck on the cheek before stepping back to see how they
look.  "You're stunning," I say, actually taken aback at how gorgeous she
looks.

Maria hurries back into the bedroom, and I follow.  When I regain sight of
her, she's staring into a mirror, fingering the green raindrops hanging from
her ears.  She turns her head to me as I enter the room, and I can see
unshed tears in her eyes.  "Oh, they're beautiful!" she exclaims as she
throws herself into my chest, wrapping her arms around my torso and
squeezing.

"Beautiful stones for a beautiful wife," is my reply as I hug her back.
Maria giggles, then looks up into my eyes with an apprehensive expression on
her face.

"Are you sure I look all right?"

I just roll my eyes and kiss her lightly on the forehead.  "Yes.  Now let's
go out and eat, okay?"  She smiles, and we walk out to the dining room,
hand-in-hand.

When we reach the table and Maria glimpses the flowers, she gasps, and I
feel her hand squeeze mine.  She turns to me with another astonished look on
her face and says, "For me?"

I shrug and grin sheepishly.  "I thought you might like them."

My wife slowly turns back to the arrangement and lets go of my hand, moving
closer to examine them.  For several moments she gently feels the flowers,
examines them closely.  Finally, she stands back upright, with her back to
me, and says shakily, "I'm sorry."

Genuinely confused, I ask, "What do you mean?"

Without turning around, she replies, "I got you a watch.  I only got you a
watch.  I�what kind of present is a watch compared to all of this?"  She
gestures to the earrings and the flowers, all without turning around.  Her
shoulders begin to shake, and she puts her hands to her face, saying nothing
more.

I walk over to my wife and turn her around to face me.  Her hands cover her
face; when I move them out of the way, I can see that she's crying.  "What's
wrong?"

She just shakes her head and puts me in a death-squeeze hug.  "I don't
deserve you," she whispers against my chest.  "You're far too good for
someone as plain and boring as me."

Placing my arms around her shoulders, I reply gently, "Hey, now.  Didn't I
tell you to stop all that talk?  You're beautiful."

Maria shakes her head against my chest.  "No," she sniffles, "I'm not.  I'm
plain.  I'm boring.  All I have to wear is this plain old blue dress that
I've worn a million times.  I don't even own any makeup to make myself look
pretty for you.  You should have married that Ann girl from town; she's
pretty.  I'm just a plain old maid."

I rub my hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her tears.  "Maria,
look at me."  She shakes her head against my chest, so I repeat, "Maria,
look at me."  Again she refuses, so I gently take her face in my hands and
force her eyes to meet mine.  "Maria, you and I are a team; we're a unit.
When we got married, we ceased being separate.  We're together all the time
now, no matter how far apart we are, or anything that happens.  You and I
will always be one.  So when you call yourself plain, you're calling me
plain."

She turns her eyes down to the ground.  "So you're only calling me pretty
because you think you're pretty?"

I sigh and roll my eyes.  Leave it up to Maria to twist my words.  "No, I
call you beautiful because you are beautiful.  It also applies to me because
you say I'm beautiful, and I trust your judgment implicitly."

Her hand clasps mine to her face as she looks back into my eyes.  "Really?"

"Yes, really."  I smile and wipe a tear off of her cheek.  "Now stop crying.
It hurts me to see you sad."

Maria sniffles once and tries to wipe the tears from her face, but they
refuse to stop.  She snorts as I remove a handkerchief from my pocket and
proceed to dry her face.  "I'm sorry," she says softly, "but they won't
stop."

As I wipe tear after tear from her face, I ask, "Are you still sad?"

She shakes her head and embraces me again, crying into my chest.  "No," she
says, her voice muffled by my suit coat.  "No, I'm not."

"Then why are you crying?" I ask as I stroke her hair gently.

"Because I'm so happy to have you in my life," she replies before totally
collapsing into sobs.

I can say nothing to that, so I just hold my wife and slowly rock her back
and forth.  I gently stroke her spine, trying to soothe her tears.  After
about two minutes, Maria sniffles and steps away from me again, wiping off
her face.  "I'm sorry.  I don't know what came over me."

I just smile and wipe the rest of her tears away with my handkerchief.
"It's okay.  I don't mind at all."  I give her a quick peck on the forehead
again, and then softly ask her, "Do you want to eat, now?"  Maria mutely
nods, so I pull out her chair and she sits.  I move to my chair, across from
her, and sit down.  The candlelight glints magically off of the earrings in
her ears, and she sniffles a couple more times, causing me to smile again.
"Are you okay?"

She nods and wipes her eyes one last time.  "I'm perfectly all right."  She
smiles a confident smile, and I melt inside all over again.

"Well," I say, lifting the bottle of wine from under the table, "let's
start, then, shall we?"  As I pour the wine into two glasses, I can't help
but admire my wife's beautiful face as the candlelight gently flickers over
her features.

+++++

My wife and I sit together in front of the fireplace, quietly talking with
one another.  My suit coat is off, and my tie is undone, but still hanging
around my neck.  Dinner went remarkably well, except that Maria didn't have
much wine; she isn't a big drinker.  The sun set a while ago, and the only
light in the room is coming from the fireplace.  The shadows move across the
floor as if dancing to some unheard music.  Maria sits with her back to my
chest, and I have my arms wrapped around her.  My own back is flush with our
couch, but I can barely feel it pressing against me; my entire being is
entranced with the woman sitting against my chest.

"I guess I'd still be living with my parents," she says in reply to a
question I asked earlier.  "What do you think you'd be doing if we hadn't
gotten married?"

I shrug and start stroking my wife's stomach through her dress.  "I don't
know.  I guess I'd still be living here alone, farming, and being completely
miserable without such a beautiful, smart, sweet, caring, generally
wonderful woman as you in my life."

She nuzzles her head into my chest with a smile.  "Flatterer."

"If by 'flatterer,' you mean 'teller of the truth,' then yes, you're right."

Maria giggles and raises my hand to her mouth for a kiss, then holds it to
her cheek and sighs contentedly.  "I love you, you know."

I smile and remove my hand from her cheek to slowly stroke her jaw line,
savoring the smooth texture of her skin.  "And I love you, darling," I
whisper into her ear.

She wraps my arms around her shoulders like a shawl and closes her eyes with
a smile.  "Why can't it always be like this?" she asks after a couple of
minutes.

"It can," is my whispered reply.

Maria giggles, sending trills of pleasure down my spine.  "You shouldn't
lie," she gently scolds with a smile on her face, looking into my eyes, "but
I'll forgive you this once."

I smile back.  "Why, thank you for being so lenient."

"You didn't let me finish."  She shifts so that she is half turned around in
my arms.  "I was going to say that I'd forgive you this once on one
condition."

I raise an eyebrow.  "Oh?  And what would that be?"

She lowers her eyes demurely, and I can't tell whether she's blushing or the
fire is reflecting off of her cheeks.  "Kiss me."

Lord, the woman is so cute!  I gently brush a stray strand of blue hair
behind her emerald-clad ear and smile.  I tilt her head up toward me, and
her eyes close as my face nears hers.  Our lips touch softly; Maria melts
into my arms.  My eyes close and I savor the taste of my wife, her soft
lips, the way her mouth trembles whenever we kiss, the soft brush of her
breath against my face.  

After a long while, Maria breaks the kiss and rests her face in the crook of
my neck with a sound akin to a purr.  Softly, she runs her hand down my
face.  I slowly bring it to my mouth with the hand that isn't around Maria's
body and kiss it gently.  "Maria," I say softly, resting both of our hands
on my chest, "we've been married a year now.  Do you realize that?"

She again purrs and nuzzles her head into my neck.  "The happiest year of my
life, dear."

A smile touches my face as I say, "Well, if we've been married for a year,
why are you still embarrassed about kisses?"

I can feel the heat from her blushing face, which is pressed up against my
neck.  "�Never mind."  

"Oh, come on," I say with a smile in my voice, stroking her hand.  "What is
it?"

She shifts uncomfortably in my arms.  "Nothing.  Never mind."

I sigh and say, "Fine.  If you don't trust me enough to tell me, that's
okay."

A long moment passes before Maria speaks.  "It's�" she shifts uncomfortably
and wraps her free arm around my chest.  "It's just that�every time we kiss,
it's�I�I still get butterflies in my stomach.  Even thinking about it gets
me flustered.  It's not�I�I just�you're�you're�" She takes a breath and her
next words come out in one big rush.  "You're the one and only man I love,
and I can't bear to be away from you for even one second, and when we kiss,
it's perfect, it's like nothing else exists in the whole world but you and
me, and when I think about kissing you, I get all messed up inside, and I
blush, and I feel embarrassed, and I get anxious, and I feel afraid, and
then it feels like my stomach is about to collapse in on itself, and I get
nervous, and I feel like running away so I don't embarrass myself in front
of you, but my legs turn to jelly, and they won't work, and�"

"Sssshhhh," I soothe, interrupting her.  "It's okay," I smile, squeezing my
wife a little more tightly.  "I know how you feel.  That's what happens when
I kiss you, too."

Her arms contract around me, and she firmly plants her face in between my
neck and shoulder.  "How can you deal with it?" she whispers just loudly
enough for me to hear. 

"Come here," I say, starting to get up.  When Maria is off of me and we are
both standing, I smile and take her hand.  "I want to show you something."
I lead her over to the mantle of the fireplace, where we keep the pictures
we like, and I pick the first one up.  It's a picture of our wedding day.
"You see this?" I ask my wife, handing her the picture.

She takes it from me and smiles in remembrance.  "It's our wedding day."

"Yes, it's our wedding day.  Do you know what this one is?" I ask, holding
out another picture - a picture of me, covered in paint.

Maria giggles.  "This is when you tried to paint the house."

"Yeah, 'tried' is a good word," I say with a good-natured chuckle.  "How
about this one?" I ask, handing her yet another picture.

"This is you and me at the egg festival this past spring," she says, and
then looks at me quizzically.  "What's does this have to do with anything,
though?"

"You'll see," I say with a smile as I lead her off to another part of the
house.  We walk into the kitchen, the walls and counters barely visible in
the dim light of the fire.  I scowl.  "Stay right here; I'll be right back."
I leave the kitchen and grab a candle, lighting it in the fireplace.  When I
return to the kitchen, I smile at my wife's confused look.  "Electric lights
ruin the mood," I say, predicting her question.  "Now, do you recognize
this?" I ask her, holding the candle next to a spice rack.

"Yes, that's the spice rack that you made for me."

"No, that's the spice rack that I tried to make for you, but had to ask
Jessy for help to finish, remember?"

She smiles in the candlelight.  "Yes, I remember.  But it's the thought that
counts, dear."

"Come on, there are a couple more things I want to show you."  I again lead
her off through the house, this time into the bedroom.  I hold the candle
next to a picture hanging on the wall, casting an eerie sort of illumination
over it.  

"The harvest festival last year, before we were married," she says before I
can ask the obvious question.

"And this?" I ask again, leading her back into the living room, over to a
small, wicker basket sitting on a bookshelf.  I gently blow out the candle
and set it down.

"That's the basket that you and I made together this summer.  Dear, I still
don't know what on earth all of this has to do with-"

"When I think of you," I interrupt, caressing her face with one hand, "when
I get nervous, or embarrassed, or afraid that I'm going to do something
stupid, or I get anxious over something having to do with you, or I feel my
legs turn to jelly at the mere thought of you, or I feel like I'm going to
throw up just being around you, I think of those pictures.  I remember the
pictures, and I remember the events at which they were taken, and I remember
all the stupid things I've done for you, and I remember all the messes I've
made for you, and I think of all the work I've put into making you happy,
and all the things you and I have done together, and I become calm.  

"I think of all the things about you that I love: the way you giggle when I
make stupid mistakes; the way you look when you're asleep, and the moonlight
reflects off of your pale skin; the way your hair looks when it's wet; the
color of your eyes, and how I can stare into them for hours on end without
ever getting bored; how you smell when I lie next to you in bed, my arms
wrapped around you, and you softly snoring against my chest; the way you
always smile when you see me; the way your face lights up when you're happy;
the way that you lower your eyes whenever you're embarrassed; the way your
blush makes you look even more radiant and beautiful than you already are.
I think of all of those things and more; I think of everything about you,
everything I've ever done for and with you, and I become calm."  

I gesture to the entire room with one arm.  "Look at all of this, Maria.
Look at it all.  All of it reminds me of you.  All of it has been for you.
This entire house is made up of things that I have bought or made or grown
or painted for you."  I look back into her eyes, taking her hands in mine.
"I think of everything I've ever seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted and
thought, and about how I'd give it all up for you, and I become calm.  When
I think about all of that, I realize there's no room for any of those other
emotions; I'm too filled with love for you."  

I smile gently and tuck another stray strand of hair behind her ear.  "There
is nothing I'd not give up for you, Maria.  There is not a thing in the
world that means more to me than you.  You could ask me to strip naked and
run through the town yelling 'Walla-Walla' and I'd do it.  You could ask me
to sell everything we own and move to Antarctica, and I'd do it.  You could
ask me to chop off my left hand and eat it raw, and I'd do it, Maria.  There
is nothing I've done or I'll do that I haven't done or wouldn't do for you.


"When I think about all of the things about you that I love, all the things
you and I have done and made together, all the times that I've made a fool
out of myself in front of and for you, all the things I've bought and done
for you, and everything else that has to do with you, I realize that I love
you totally and completely with all of my being, and that you are my life.
The anxiety and fear and all the rest disappear, because all of that rot
added together still pales in comparison to the love that I feel for you."  

I draw Maria into a warm embrace and continue with a tight throat, "Maria, I
love you so very much that it sometimes hurts.  Sometimes I have to
literally stop working and sit down because I love you so much.  All the
love I have for you cannot be described in words; what I've said tonight
just barely scratches the surface.  But you asked, and I hope that what I've
said gives you some idea of how I deal with the feelings that the sight and
thought of you stir up within me."  I take a deep, shuddering breath, and
release Maria, putting on a small grin and taking a step back.  "Kind of a
complicated answer to a simple question, huh?"

In the quiet light of the fire I can see that Maria is crying.  Tears are
streaming down her face unceasingly, but her mouth is formed into the most
beautiful smile I've ever seen her wear.  "I love you so much," she whispers
shakily.  She steps into my chest.  "Just hold me."

I acquiesce, throat thick.  We stay like that for a long while, the emotions
too potent to tolerate anything but mute acceptance of one another.

Suddenly, Maria looks up into my face.  "Kiss me," she whispers, not batting
an eyelash.  "Kiss me, please."

A tear falls from my eye, running down my cheek to become caught on my
smiling lips.  Soon, though, my lips are pressed against Maria's, and the
tears and the fire and the house and the farm disappear, leaving only my
wife and me, holding each other, bonded to one another, forever one.

Our kiss deepens.  My hands unconsciously begin to stroke Maria's back up
and down as I feel my body begin to respond to my wife's kiss.  Maria's body
is pressed against mine tightly, and I can feel her breath against my cheek
speeding up and becoming shallower.  

I part my lips slightly and my wife does the same.  Our tongues meet and
dance with one another as our bodies become more and more aroused.  I feel
Maria's hands rubbing my chest.  I slowly run one hand up her spine to her
head, where my fingers gently run through her long, blue hair.  My other
hand rubs the small of Maria's back as her hands run from my chest to my
sides.

Our kiss deepens still, until our mouths are frantically working at one
another.  She has my shirt firmly gripped in her fists, and my hands are on
her neck and the small of her back, hugging the woman's small frame to me as
if I am afraid to lose it.

I break the kiss and slowly run my mouth down her cheek to her ear, where I
whisper, "I love you."  Small kisses mark my mouth's trail as it travels
down her neck and back up again, Maria's breathing becoming more rapid and
her hands gripping my shirt more tightly.

When our mouths meet again, Maria hungrily attacks me with her tongue and
lips, pressing her entire body up against mine even more.  I slowly trail a
finger down the back of her neck, again following her spine, until I reach
the zipper to her dress.  As our tongues intertwine I slowly work the zipper
down her back, trailing a finger along her spine the entire way.

When the zipper reaches her waist, it stops, and my hand moves back up her
spine, gently stroking her soft skin.  I make small circles against her back
with one finger, softly swirling up and down, back and forth, as Maria emits
a slight gasp of pleasure.  Her mouth attacks mine with renewed fervor.

Slowly, deliberately, I flatten my hand against her back and begin to stroke
it up and down.  I again break the kiss and run my mouth down my wife's
face, again stopping at her ears.  This time, though, I gently kiss my way
around the crest of the ear, working my way down toward the lobe.  When I
reach it, I softly and gently take it into my mouth, earring and all,
earning another small gasp from my wife.  I slowly suck on the lobe for a
second before releasing it and running my tongue up her ear, stopping at the
crest and moving to her neck.  

My lips delicately make their way down Maria's neck, toward her shoulder,
where my hand is removing the wide shoulder to her dress.  As the fabric
slides over her shoulder and down her arm, my mouth kisses its way through
the valley between her collarbone and neck, and then moves over her shoulder
slowly.  Maria's hands are pulling at my shirt so hard that I'm wondering
when the fabric is going to rip.

I run my finger along the high neckline of the dress, moving the removed
strap down her arm further and revealing more of her chest.  I stop before I
reach her breasts, though, and begin to move my mouth down her ribcage and
back up her neck.  Maria raises her chin as I run my lips and tongue along
her trachea, and as soon as my mouth clears her chin she again latches onto
my mouth with her own.

I softly remove the other shoulder to her dress, though since she is pressed
tightly against me, the dress does not fall to the floor.  I move my hands
up her back to her shoulders, and then down again, moving over her thick,
conservative, cotton bra as smoothly as if it were silk.

I slowly move my hands from the small of her back to her sides, spreading
the opening in the back of her dress wider and wider still, until the only
thing keeping it from dropping to her forearms is that she and I are pressed
together so tightly.  I move my hands up her sides, teasing her skin, and
stop when I touch her bra.  Her arms, taut with the effort of holding me
close to her, relax when I softly caress them, and fall to her sides.  Never
removing my mouth from hers, I lessen the pressure between our bodies and
gently tug downward on the dress, until it falls completely from her body
and lies in a shimmering blue heap on the floor at our feet.

I break the kiss and hold her to my chest for a moment, savoring the sight
of her slight frame, almost completely bared.  The firelight dances across
her legs and rear, tiny little fingers running up and down my wife's body.
My hands slide down her back to her panties, and I drag my fingers along the
elastic holding them to her curvaceous hips.

Suddenly, my wife's entire body shudders, and I feel something warm on my
chest.  Then I hear the weeping coming from Maria.  "What's wrong?" I ask
concernedly, all thoughts of eroticism gone from my head.  "Honey?  What's
the matter?"

She just shakes her head and grips my shirt tightly, sobbing into my chest
for the second time in the evening.  I gently sway back and forth, rubbing
her back and making soothing noises, for there is nothing else I can do.

Finally, she lifts her head and looks into my eyes, and I can see so much
love and yet so much anguish at the same time in those deep brown orbs that
I gasp.  "It's not right," she says with a sad smile.  "It's not right for
me to love somebody this much.  It's just not right."

"Why not?" I whisper back, wiping tears off of her cheek with my thumb.

She brings a hand up to caress my face.  "Because I'm not supposed to want
to keep anyone to myself so badly.  I'm not supposed to be ready to kill
anyone who gets too near you; but I am.  I'm ready to kill another woman
just to keep you to myself, and that's not right."

I take her hand and gently kiss it, feeling a tear run down my own cheek.
"Why not?  I feel the same way about you, and I think it's perfectly
alright."  I give my wife a tired smile, and she returns it.  Suddenly,
she's on her toes kissing me again, and her hands have ripped off my tie and
are fumbling with the buttons on my shirt.

Like a sluice gate opening, the feelings rush back into my body, and I find
my own hands tugging both the dress shirt and my undershirt over my head at
the same time.  We slam back together after breaking the kiss for only a
split second, and I can feel Maria's fingers running up and down my chest,
over the curves and crevasses of my well-toned body.

I run my own hands over Maria's body, trying to touch every part of the
woman I love at once.  Her hands grasp my belt and undo it, then pull open
my pants roughly and slide onto my buttocks.  

Grasping the hooks to her bra in my hands, I unclasp the supporting garment
and break the kiss, running my mouth down her neck and chest.  My tongue
trails lightly over her collarbone, sliding to the now unanchored bra strap
on her shoulder.  I kiss softly around the fabric, and then proceed to
remove the cloth from her shoulder with my mouth.  Gripping the strap in my
teeth, I slowly move it down and over her shoulder, kissing and dragging my
lips the whole way.  

When I get the strap down to her elbow, I let go and kiss my way toward her
breasts.  My hands are running up and down her sides as my lips travel to
her chest, and then to her breasts.  Kisses pepper the tops of the soft
mounds of flesh, and Maria groans in anticipation.  I slowly make my way
down her breast, drawing ever closer to the areola and nipple.

The only thing keeping the bra on her breast is the erect nipple, on which
the fabric has caught.  I kiss my way across her breast, down into her
cleavage, and then back to the bra, which is only barely hanging on.  I work
my way along the bra line, not actually touching the bra, but nearing her
nipple.  Maria begins to tremble slightly as I near the peak of her breast,
but I only barely brush the areola with a kiss as I pass, heading back up to
her chest, neck, and shoulder.

I gently remove the other bra strap from her shoulder with my teeth, and
again stop when I reach her elbow.  As I am kissing my way toward her
breasts again, I remove the bra completely with my hands, and toss it onto
the couch next to my shirt.

I note how smooth her skin is yet again as my hands run over her stomach and
sides while I kiss and suck my way toward her breasts.  My mouth moves up
one breast, and Maria's body again trembles as I near her nipple, but I
again veer off just before reaching it.  My lips travel along the outside of
her breast, down and around, until I'm kissing the underside.

Maria's breathing is coming in extremely shallow gasps, and her hands are
clenched at her sides.  As I kiss and lick at the underside of her breast -
the place where only I have touched her - she gasps spasmodically, causing
her breasts to rise and fall suddenly.

Just as suddenly, I make a decision, and square my feet under me as I pick
Maria up in my arms and begin to carry her toward the fireplace.  She yelps
and grabs onto my neck for support, and when she looks into my eyes I can
see that she's both confused and disappointed that I stopped.  I just smile
and lie her down in front of the now-waning fire, propping myself over her
near-nude form.

After a moment, she asks between breaths, "Why�did�you�stop?"

"Can't a man admire something beautiful when he sees it?" I ask innocently.

Though her face is already flushed from arousal, I can tell that she's
flattered and embarrassed by the remark by the way that she averts her eyes
and shifts on the carpeted floor.  "I'm�not�beautiful."

I just look at the way she lies there on the floor, her arms at her sides;
her long hair spread out like a fan behind her; her breasts rising and
falling quickly with her breaths; her eyes looking anywhere but at me; her
slim, flushed face with its full, pouting red lips, and her tongue darting
out to lick them every couple of moments; I look at all of that and I say,
"Oh, Maria, there is no drawing, painting, sculpture or mosque in the world
more beautiful than you.  You are the reason blind people wish to see; you
are the reason God created light.  You are the sole reason the word
'beautiful' exists, my love."  

I trace a finger along her jaw line.  "Maria, if you're not beautiful, then
what are flowers, or sunsets?  What are clear, spring days?  What are nights
without a moon, when you can see every star in the night sky and then some?"
I smile and rest my hand on her cheek.  "Maria, if you're not beautiful,
then none of those things are; for you are more beautiful than all of those
things combined."  Running my hand down her face, neck and arm, I say, "I
love you, wife."

"And I love you, husband," she mimics softly, her eyes again filling with
tears.  

Before anything else can be said, I bend down and kiss her again, running my
hand along her stomach.  We kiss hungrily, needing each other's love, and
her arms snake around my neck.  Soon, our mouths are working at each other
furiously again, and my hands are tracing circles around her breasts and
running through her cleavage.

I move my mouth away from hers and to her earlobe again, taking it into my
mouth and gently sucking as my hands tickle and tease her breasts and
stomach.  Maria's breathing again becomes shallow and quick, and I release
her ear to kiss down to her neck and chest.  As I cross her chest, her hands
run through my hair and down my neck.

Slowly, I kiss my way around the base of her breast, slowly spiraling up
toward her nipple.  As my lips are working, my hands are gently stroking her
inner thighs, teasing the sensitive flesh.  Her body again trembles and she
moans as I near her areola.  The breath from my nose brushes over her
nipple, sending a shudder through her body and causing her to moan and arch
her back slightly.  

My mouth hovers over her nipple, sending warm waves of air down and over her
sensitive breasts.  Her breathing is punctuated by a soft moan after each
breath.  I lower my mouth over her breast, but do not close on the nipple,
letting my lips rest around it instead.  I smirk as she moans more loudly
and again arches her back, trying to get me to suck on her nipple.

Instead, I take my hand up her inner thigh and to her panties, which are now
quite wet.  I skim over the fabric, positioning my finger over her swollen
opening.  I rub back and forth, stimulating her slightly, and smile to
myself as she gasps.  Pressing harder, I drag my finger from the back of her
vagina to the front slowly, while at the same time finally closing my mouth
over her nipple.  

Maria's entire body shudders, and the yelp that passes her lips causes Dogg
to start barking outside.  Smiling, I continue to rub her with my finger as
I flick my tongue back and forth over her erect nipple, eliciting more
shudders and moans from Maria.

Finally, I stop rubbing her with my finger and remove my mouth from her
breast.  I can see my saliva glistening on her breast, and I begin to gently
blow on it while running my hands to her hips.  She tosses her head once,
her eyes tightly closed, and bites her lip.

Smirking, I kiss her nipple one last time before moving down her breast to
her stomach.  My hands begin to pull at her panties, and she obligingly
raises her hips, allowing me to remove them.  As I slowly pull them off of
her, I kiss my way down her legs, and then back up.  Rubbing and kissing my
way up the inside of her legs, I smile again as Maria opens her legs to let
me in.

My mouth comes nearer and nearer to my wife's swollen labia, and her legs
open wider and wider.  Her hands are gripping the short carpet tightly, and
each of her breaths is now a moan of anticipation and pleasure.

I gently apply pressure to the undersides of her knees, and she responds,
bending her legs and raising her knees into the air, but keeping her feet on
the floor.  Sliding my hands from her knees to her hips along the outside of
her legs, I gently blow into the crux of my wife's legs, causing her to
shudder.  I glide my fingers over her round bottom and along her soft
thighs, and then over the blue hair surrounding her wet opening.

Gently, I spread her labia with my fingers, revealing the sensitive, pink
flesh held within.  I slide my tongue along her thigh, the final approach,
and she moans again through clenched teeth.

Barely touching her, I run my tongue along the inside of her labia, causing
her to suck in a deep breath through still-clenched teeth.  The
feather-light touch of my tongue against her sensitive vagina as I run it
toward her clitoris causes her to tremble uncontrollably, a low, wordless
moan escaping her lips.

Finally, I flick my tongue once over the sensitive nub of flesh that is her
clitoris, and she yelps, pressing her hips against my face.  I lightly run
my tongue back over it, more slowly this time, and Maria groans more loudly,
still shaking.  

Slowly at first, and then speeding up as I go along, I continue to rub her
clit with my tongue, and my wife's groans increase in volume and decrease in
length.  Finally, I switch tactics, gently sucking on her.  Maria lets out
an "Oh!" before going back to her wordless moans of pleasure. 

Gently pinching her clit between my tongue and teeth, I pull, letting the
nub of flesh slide out of my grip.  Maria's hips buck, and her voice rises
in pitch.  I continue my ministrations, noting what makes Maria moan more
loudly and what makes her thrust her hips.

Suddenly, Maria's moans and yelps turn into cries of pleasure, and her hips
start rocking rhythmically with my mouth's movements.  Figuring I must be
doing something right, I speed up my pace, and Maria's body speeds up
accordingly.  

I slowly push one finger into her vagina as I continue to lick and kiss her
clit.  A second finger follows, and I slowly move them in and out as I flick
my tongue back and forth across her sensitive flesh.

Out of nowhere, Maria's cries of pleasure turn into one long, high-pitched
scream, and her entire body convulses, and then goes limp.  I stop my
stimulation as I feel her muscles contracting about my fingers, signaling
her orgasm.

Slowly, I withdraw my fingers from my wife's body, again causing her to
shudder, and move back to her face.  Her eyes are closed tightly still, and
her sweat-covered face is a mix of pleasure and exhaustion as she lays
there, panting heavily in the dim firelight.

Taking my unsoiled hand and rubbing her cheek, she turns her head and opens
her eyes to look at me.  "M�mo�" she gasps, half moan and half whisper.
"More�" Her eyes are pleading.

I chuckle as I wipe a bead of sweat off of her cheek.  "Oh, you want more,
do you?" I ask with a smile.  I slowly begin to run my hand down her body,
but she shakes her head weakly.

"No�" she breathes.  "I�want�you�" Her glassy eyes beg me to enter her, and
she slowly moves a hand toward my pants, though she's far too drained to
actually do anything with them.

Smiling, I stand up and remove my pants and underwear, exposing my erect
penis.  Maria's hungry eyes affix on the stiff extension of my body, and I
sit down again, stroking my wife's stomach and breasts absently with one
hand.  "So, you want me, do you?" I tease, stroking her pubic hair.

She bites her lip and nods wordlessly, causing a tear to dislodge itself
from her eye and run down the side of her face.  "Please," she pleads, more
tears falling from her eyes.  "Please�love�me�"

"Oh, Maria," I whisper, running my hand back up to her face.  Cupping her
cheek in one hand, I bend down and kiss her forehead gently, relishing the
feel of her breath on my chest.  I slowly kiss my way back down her face and
neck, to her breasts again, but this time I go directly for her nipples.  

I suck gently on one nipple and Maria moans.  My hands are running up and
down her stomach while I softly pinch her nipple between my teeth and pull,
eliciting another moan.

I run my tongue down her breast into her cleavage, and then down and around
the bottom of her breast, leaving a thin trail of saliva.  Moving my mouth
up to her other nipple, I flick my tongue over it quickly while pinching the
first one between my fingers, and Maria arches her back slightly.
"P�please�" she stutters with what seem to be sobs.  "Please lo-lo-love
me-e-e."  I raise my head to see Maria, her neck arched and her head turned
toward the fireplace, sobbing, repeating the word 'please.'

Tears come to my own eyes as I move myself into position, propping myself
over her on my arms.  "Maria," I whisper, wiping a tear off of her face,
"I'm here.  I'm here, Maria.  I love you."

She opens her eyes and stares into mine, terror and anxiety mixing with need
and love.  "Please�please�please�please�please�" she softly repeats, slowly
raising a shaky hand to my face and caressing my cheek.  "P�please�"

As my own tears finally spill over and start running down my cheeks, I
acquiesce, positioning myself at her opening.  Her hand begins to steady as
she strokes my cheek, and her voice begins to rise in volume, though her
words do not change.  "Please�please�please�"

"Your wish is my command," I smile, pushing myself into her at long last.  

Maria gasps and moans, arching her back and clasping her hands at the back
of my neck.  She closes her eyes and continues to repeat her mantra of
"Please," though every now and then she says, "I love you."

Filled with love for my wife, I slowly press further inward, until I'm all
the way inside Maria.  I shudder myself as I feel her muscles clench around
my penis, and she moans loudly, then ceases speaking altogether, panting in
the firelight, her hands still clasped behind my neck.

I pull our hips apart, and I can again feel Maria's vagina trying to hold on
to me.  Maria's tears increase in intensity as I push back into her gently,
relishing the sensation of being inside my wife.

I move in and out of her slowly, trying to make it last as long as possible.
Maria's moans rise in pitch as I push in and decrease as I pull out, until
eventually she contracts her arms and pulls herself against my body with a
gasp.

Trying to keep plunging in and out of my wife, I realize that what my wife
just did makes it rather difficult.  Not wanting to make her wait too long,
I roll over onto my back and begin to pump my hips again.

Soon, Maria starts taking a more active role in our lovemaking.  She begins
to pump her hips in counterthrusts, driving me deeper within her body and
causing her to yelp in pleasure at every thrust.  I close my eyes and speed
my pace, letting the sensations carry me away.  My hands run up and down
Maria's back, down to her buttocks to press her hips harder against my own.


My wife's breasts are pressed tightly against my chest and her hair hangs
down around our heads, creating a curtain that blocks out some of the light.
I open my eyes to stare up at the woman whom I will always love, no matter
what, and our eyes lock.  We kiss passionately as I thrust harder and faster
into her vagina, and she begins to scream against my mouth.

Maria's hands run over my head and neck as her pulsing screams become louder
and louder against my mouth, but I refuse to let her go, holding her torso
to mine with my arms.  I can feel myself nearing climax as I thrust in and
out more and more sharply.

Suddenly, Maria breaks our kiss and thrusts herself upright on my pelvis,
arching her back.  Her face is contorted in pleasure and she silently
screams as she orgasms violently, her entire body shuddering and convulsing.
I feel her muscles squeezing my penis tightly, bringing me oh so close to
the edge, but she stops and collapses on top of me, panting heavily.

I lie on the floor, my wife atop me, and hold her nude body to mine,
savoring the feel of her warm skin against my own.  We lie like that for a
while, neither of us moving or speaking, my penis still inside of her.

Finally, after many minutes, Maria begins to rock back and forth on my
pelvis again, and I can hear her start to gasp and moan once more.  She sits
upright again, and I watch her breasts bounce with her rhythmic pumping.
The feelings begin to surge through my body again, and I can feel my erect
penis sliding smoothly in and out of her.

I grasp her sides and aid her pumping.  Maria moans and tosses her head from
side to side, sweat beading and rolling down her chest and over her breasts.
My hands move up to cup her bouncing attributes and I rub them, running my
hands over her sensitive mounds.  I soon begin to knead them gently, and
Maria's eyes are tightly closed as her mouth clamps shut, forcing her moans
to go through her teeth.

The silky smooth walls of Maria's vagina caress and stimulate my penis as
she slides me in and out of her.  My stomach begins to clench as I near
climax, and I can hear Maria's moans reaching a fevered pitch.  My hands rub
at my wife's breasts roughly as I lose control of my body, my only thought
of the pleasure that being with my wife brings.

Maria's back arches again, and she screams loudly, orgasming for a third
time.  As her muscles spasm around my penis my own muscles contract
violently, spewing forth sperm.  Maria continues to rock back and forth on
my waist, shuddering and convulsing, as I clench my teeth and continue to
release my fluid into her vagina.

Finally, my wife again collapses on top of me and lies there, panting for
breath, her breasts pressed against my chest.

My eyes are closed and my arms are wrapped around Maria's body as we lay
there in front of the fire, basking in the love we share.

Much time passes before the woman lying on top of me begins to sob softly.
I rub her still-sweaty back reassuringly.  "What's wrong?" I whisper, moving
some of her hair out of her face.

She shakes her head, pulls the hair out of her face and smiles at me.
"Sssh.  No talking."  She leans down to kiss me again, and her hands move
over my face and chest.  I can feel her warm tears flowing down my face as
my body begins to react again to my wife.

I roll over, on top of Maria, pulling my now flaccid penis out of her
vagina, and continue to kiss her passionately and deeply.  I can feel my
penis becoming erect again as I move my hands down the woman's body, over
her curves and into her crevasses.  I feel her breasts with my hands, rub
them gently; I run my hands over her hips and legs, tickling them; I comb
her hair with my fingers. 

Soon, we are once more in the throes of passion, my hands stroking her
clitoris softly as she moans and runs her hand up and down my erect shaft.

I open my eyes and look at my wife in the faint light that the embers of the
fire emit; I smile at the beauty I see in her face, her breasts, her entire
being.  I move her hand from my penis and position myself at her opening
once more.  Maria looks deeply into my eyes, tears still leaking down the
sides of her face, and she smiles.

I push inside her and she gasps, raising her legs into the air slightly.  As
I begin to pump faster and harder, her legs wrap around my waist and aid in
my thrusting, which gives me an idea.

I gather Maria into my arms and then rise to my knees, then to my feet, all
without pulling out.  I bounce Maria up and down on my hips, driving my
penis deep inside of her and causing her to repeatedly scream, "Oh, God, oh,
God, oh, God."  Her legs squeeze my waist and her arms hold her firmly to my
chest as I continue to plunge deeper and deeper into her body, her breasts
rubbing against my chest as they bounce with her movement.  

Without any warning, Maria's legs clench around my waist painfully, and she
screams, "Oh, GOD, OH, GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD," over and over again with my
thrusts.  Her body contracts, then spasms uncontrollably in orgasm, but I
don't stop bouncing her up and down on my penis.  

As her muscles clench and release my penis I continue to drive and thrust
deep within her, causing her body to shudder constantly.  Maria's eyes are
clenched as tightly as her jaw, though tears are still leaking out.  She
repeatedly makes a noise that is a mix between a moan and a yelp at the back
of her throat as her body shakes and twists in pleasure.

I continue to plunge in and out of her swollen, pink opening, nearing my
climax.  My wife's guttural screams rise in pitch and volume as her body
convulses more and more violently, until she tosses her head back and cries
wordlessly at the top of her lungs.  Her vaginal muscles contract and
release again and again as I continue to ram deep inside of her, bouncing
her up and down on my pelvis.  

Maria's screams echo in the small house as her body is wracked with orgasm
after orgasm; tears continue to slip out of her eyes and down her face.  My
teeth grind as my own pleasure mounts, Maria's smooth, soft flesh caressing
my shaft with every movement.

When Maria's body convulses particularly mightily, and she arches her back,
driving her own pelvis into my own with an ear-splitting scream of, "OH,
GOD!!!" I feel my loins clench and release in orgasm, filling my wife with
sperm.  I continue to rock her back and forth on myself, completing my
orgasm and giving her another two, until I finally collapse onto the couch,
totally spent.

As I sit there, trying to catch my breath, Maria's body quivers and shakes,
clenching entirely or jerking every once in a while.  She sobs into my chest
as her body continues to orgasm repeatedly, hormones rushing through her
veins

After several minutes, I slowly move Maria off of my lap, removing myself
from her vagina, and she screams and convulses again, arching her back in
yet another orgasm.  I carefully lift her quivering form into my arms and
take her into the bedroom, not needing light to move through the house.  

Shifting her weight to one arm, I quickly pull the covers on the bed back.
As I slide her shivering body into bed she reaches out with a shaking hand
and grabs my wrist.  Her eyes are still closed and she is still crying, but
through her chattering teeth she says, "P-p-plea-se d-d-don-t-t-t NNH!"
Another tremor ripples throughout her small frame, causing her words to be
cut off.  Panting, she repeats, "P-please d-d-don't-t-t-t lea-v-ve
m-m-m-me."

Touched, I slowly climb into bed beside her and position her so that her
head is pillowed on my chest and my arms are wrapped around her.  Her
delicate body quivers under the blankets, and tears continue to slip from
under her eyelids.  Making soothing noises, I gently comb Maria's disheveled
hair with my fingers and pull it behind her head.  "I-I-I-I l-lov-ve
y-y-you-u," she whispers, her body still shaking with the potent hormones
that saturate her blood.

"And I love you, darling," I whisper as I kiss the top of her head.  She
convulses and yelps again, her hips thrusting against my leg.  I resume
trying to soothe her, stroking her hair and speaking softly to her.

Throughout the next hour, she continues to tremble, soaking my leg and the
sheets alike.  Finally, though, she stops shaking and her breathing evens
out, signaling to me that she's asleep.  "I love you, Maria," I whisper to
her slumbering form before closing my eyes and drifting off into
unconsciousness myself.

+++++

I slowly open my eyes with a yawn.  Morning.  Curse the evil daystar.  I
smile tiredly as Maria shifts on my chest, her soft breath making my skin
tingle.  I move one hand to her back and gently stroke her up and down,
closing my eyes and enjoying the feel of my wife against my body.

After a few minutes, Maria groans, and then sneezes daintily.  She sleepily
rubs her nose with the back of her hand, and yawns.  As I chuckle to myself,
thinking that she's never looked more like a cat, she raises her head to
look at me through half-lidded eyes.  "Good morning," I say softly, taking
her sleep-tussled hair and tucking it behind her ears.  

She blinks once, twice, and then throws herself back onto my chest with a
purr.  "If you ever do that to me again," she whispers throatily, "I'll make
sure you don't sleep for a week."

I laugh and hug her to my body.  "Is that a threat or a promise?"

She purrs again and writhes against me, her breasts pressing into my front.
"You do that to me again and you'll find out," she says in a sultry tone,
smiling suggestively.  Finally, her composure cracks and she giggles,
burying her head into the crook of my neck.  I smile and stroke her back,
listening to the melodic sound of her laughter.  

When her laughing fit subsides, she props herself up with her arms, causing
the covers to fall down her back and revealing her breasts, and says with a
blush, "Seriously, though, could you�maybe�um�" Maria chews on her bottom
lip nervously and averts her eyes.  "Could you maybe�do that again?"

Lord, she's insatiable!  "Well," I say with a smile, running my hands up her
sides, "that depends on how you answer this question:" The smile drops from
my face and I stare directly into my wife's eyes, a serious look on my face.
"Have I made you happy?  Throughout the last year, have I made you smile?
Have I made you enjoy your life?"  I grip her shoulders firmly.  "I want the
truth, Maria.  Have I made your life a good life?"

Maria smiles with tears in her eyes.  "Of course you have," she says as she
caresses my face.  "This last year has been the happiest of my life, dear,
because I've spent it with you."

A tear falls from my eye.  "Well, then," I say, sniffling and affecting
another smile, "then I GUESS I could TRY doing that to you again, if you
really WANT�"

She squeals with glee and pounces on me, two green stones dangling from her
ears.

/////////////////////////

Okay, I'm almost done laughing, now.  No, wait for it.  Wait�just a little
longer�there!  Okay, now that I'm done guffawing my lungs out, I shall speak
of this atrocity that I have created.

Like I said before, this whole story was made to make me laugh like this:
HA.  You can give me C&C if you'd like (I will never turn down C&C), but
it's not really necessary.  The style in which I wrote this was supposed to
be non-cheezy, though I realize that in its being a lemon, it is the
quintessence of cheez.  I tried not to use anything like "She leapt upon his
red-hot man poker," or "Her fiery womanhood throbbed with passion as his
meat sausage repeatedly buried itself in her yard."  You know, crap like
that.  I know for a fact that I used "I did this" and "I did that" HELLA
much, but I really had no choice; I had to write the story in first person
from the farmer's POV, because in the game, you are the farmer, and you get
to name him.  (You get to name the dog, too, but I'm pretty sure that
everyone's gonna name the dog Dogg, so let's just leave it at that, okay?)

Anywho, I'd like to give a shout out (SHOOT ME NOW) to Jon Van Cleve, the
sole inspiration for the "Curse the evil daystar" line.  Kudos.

So, yeah, as I previously stated, I'm pathetic beyond all reason.  Just FYI.

Oh.  One more thing: if you haven't noticed, this is my first (and probably
last) lemon, so...yeah.  Just more meaningless information for y'all.



A Depraved Sociopath with Psychotic Tendencies

Humanity: A Haiku
Tiny floating leaf
Calmly drifting on water
Under mushroom clouds



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