*sigh*

Dave, I guess I have to conclude that I just don't get your sense of
humor, at least as relates to fanfics. Dunno if that says something
about you, or about me, or if it's just one of those things. I know
you've been going through a dry spell lately, and I really don't want to
be discouraging, but....

Akane turning into a talking bird is a weird enough idea that it's gotta
have some good humor potential in it, but... it seems like this story is
trying to get by on the idea itself, without making it *go* anywhere.
There's some good lines of dialog, but IMO it needs to develop some sort
of logically absurd consequence(s) of Akane being a bird for it to
really be funny.

For example, you could have people listening to the bird, unaware that
she's really Akane, assuming that she's repeating things that Ranma said
while they were in China, resulting in a lot of people angry at a very
confused Ranma.

This is just an example. It seems to me that there's a lot of ways you
could get humor out of this. Akane-bird treated as real bird, Akane-bird
treated as Akane-human being, Akane-human after hot water still treated
as bird by smartass Ranma, etc. But what you've got here seems like
cursed character treated as cursed character, which IMO just isn't all
that funny.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html
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