Here it is! Sorry about the delay, a system crash K.O.'d my HD on Tuesday
night. Sigh. Fortunately, I was smart and had a backup of this fic on disk!
Besides, Friday-night fights are something of a tradition, right?
Here's how the voting came down. In the case of a draw, or no clear choice
made, I considered it a spoiled ballot for the purposes of the total.
Out of the 21 eligible voters, they chose:
Ranma:11 Impulse: 10 - Wnner: In a squeaker, Ranma.
Akane:0 Secret:20 -Winner: Secret, unanimously. (Oh, really?)
Kuno:4 Robin:16 - Winner: Robin, handily.
Ukyo:15 Arrowette:5 - Winner: Ukyo, by a greater margin than I expected.
Mousse:2 Superboy:18 - Winner: Superboy, in a landslide.
Shampoo:8 Wonder Girl:9 -Winner: Wonder Girl, close shave.
Ryoga:7 Li'l Lobo:12 -Winner: Li'l Lobo, with room to spare.
This includes all votes rec'd up until September 2nd, 11 p.m. eastern
standard time, my arbitrary and completely unfair cutoff date.
Lovely-lovely voters, I'll thank you all by name at the end of the piece.
So, now you know how the majority feels. Let's see how _I_ felt...
Sit back, crack your cold fizzy beverage of choice, and enjoy, as...
Space Pirates Productions Presents:
A fanfic by "Dazzlin'" Dave Menard
"WHEN TITANS CLASH" or: "A Whole Buncha Bizarrely Powerful Teenagers Beat
The Holy Hell Outta Each Other For Inadequate Reasons... And YOU Decide the
Outcome!"
A Salute to Comic-Book Crossovers
Ranma 1/2 characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi / Kitty Films / Shogakukan
DC Comics characters copyright AOL-Time-Warner.
Part Two:Suddenly... A slobberknocker!
* * *
Certain things are next to impossible to describe; the kind of things you
desperately try to relate to a friend at some later date, only to be met
with a blank, uncomprehending stare. You're eventually forced to fall back
on saying, "You had to be there." The battle between Nerima's finest and the
teenage Superhero team known as Young Justice was one of those things.
Still, this humble scribe will hereby attempt to render it, despite the
limitations imposed by a non-visual medium.
Ahem.
As soon as the Hawaii-obsessed headmaster of Furinkan High lowered his
hand, several things happened at once.
1. There was a massive -whoosh- of air as the crowd of hundreds gathered
around the Furinkan soccer field exhaled all at once.
2. The combatants lunged across the centre line at their individual
opponents, battle cries and kiai yells echoing across the field.
3. Nabiki Tendo heard the sound of a thousand cash registers simultaneously
going -cha-ching- as she observed the fight through the viewfinder of her
camcorder.
4. Headmaster Kuno was driven like a tent-peg into the ground as Li'l Lobo
stomped on him in his eagerness to reach his opponent.
"How _dare_ you flirt with my sweet Shampoo! I'll teach you the error of
your playboy ways!" Mousse sprang high into the air, bringing himself
briefly level with Superboy. The flying super-teen drew back slightly,
willing to let his opponent make the first move, and move Mousse did,
producing a set of tiger-claws and lunging forward at Superboy.
"Whoa, there," Superboy laughed as the sharpened-steel claws glanced off his
invulnerable skin. "Watch where you poke those things, man! You might'a
wrecked the jacket!" He made a grab for the offending weapons, but missed as
the Chinese fighter jerked free and landed safely on the ground. "Hey,
you're pretty slippery, guy!"
Mousse glared up through Coke-bottle lenses from the ground. "My speed is
not my _only_ advantage, Superboy," He slid his glasses up with the middle
finger of his right hand. "Witness the Talons of the Hunting Hawk!" He
sprang high, higher than before, smaller, wickedly-sharp claws popping out
of his slippers as he dove down at the flying teen with a yell.
"Damn, you're just pointy at both ends, aren't ya, Specs?" Superboy taunted
as he flew sideways, allowing Mousse to shoot past him, ploughing up a good
chunk of turf as he hit the ground.
"Yaah!" the Chinese fighter bellowed as he shot a torrent of weighted chains
that engulfed a surprised Superboy in a cocoon of metal. "Hah! You're at my
mercy now, you, you... Casanova!"
Mousse's jaw dropped in astonishment as his chains suddenly went slack,
allowing the costumed teen to slide free with little difficulty.
"Oh I _know_ you didn't just say I was at your mercy. How clich�'d can you
get?"
"H-how..?"
"So whaddya suppose I'm gonna do with these, huh?" The Metropolis Kid hefted
the limp chains in his hands, giving them a quick tug to assure himself that
they were still attached somewhere up inside Mousse's sleeves. He grinned.
"Oh, no," Mousse breathed, as he attempted to wriggle free of his robes.
"Oh yeah!" Superboy grinned as he yanked the Chinese fighter off his feet
and began to swing him overhead in circles like a ball and chain.
"AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaa..."
* * *
Ukyo winced as she blocked an explosive-tipped arrow with the flat of her
giant battle-spat, the impact knocking her back a few inches. "Not bad,
sugar, but I can block 'em as fast as you can shoot 'em," she called to
Arrowette as they ran parallel to each other down the field.
"So who are you supposed to be, then? 'Spatula-Lass'?" Arrowette called
back, simultaneously unloading a boxing-glove-tipped arrow, one that Ukyo
recognised as being another explosive-tipped arrow, and a third with an odd
crook in the middle that somehow flew straight nonetheless. "S'that some
kind of enchanted kitchen utensil that gives you superhuman speed, or
something?"
"This?" Ukyo batted aside, blocked and ducked under each arrow,
respectively. "This is pure skill, hon," she grinned. Then yelped as the
third arrow doubled back and nailed her in the small of the back, sending
her sprawling on her front. "Let me guess. 'Boomerang arrow'?" she groaned,
spitting a clod of dirt from her mouth.
"You betcha," Arrowette answered, standing firm, a sleep-gas arrow cocked
and aimed and the prone chef. "I've got you dead to rights. D'you give?"
Ukyo pushed herself to her hands and knees. "Yeah, yeah, I give... Not!"
she yelled, snatching a trio of spatula-shuriken from her bandoleer and
sending them hurtling towards the archer while simultaneously rolling away
from the incoming shaft.
"What the-" Arrowette yelped, loosing her arrow just as the sharpened
utensils flew past. One grazed her shoulder, drawing a thin line of blood,
another sliced a few inches of hair. The third...
Arrowette's custom double-recurve bow bucked in her hand as the 100-pound
pull bowstring was cut in two by Ukyo's spatula shuriken. The flailing end
lashed out like a whip, drawing another thin line of blood as it tore
through the archer's uniform. She dropped the bow with a curse and cradled
her wounded hand.
Ukyo chuckled as she retrieved her giant spatula and strode forward. "Now
we're _really cookin'."
* * *
Akane couldn't help it. The little blonde girl looked so sweet and
harmless. She'd seen television footage of most of the others in action
before, but never the little blonde waif. She reminded her of her "sister",
Kurumi. "Hi there, my name's Akane, what's yours?"
"Suzie..." Secret said shyly.
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Suzie. Remember, this is just a little match,
It's nothing personal, so let's try to have fun, okay? We'll fight fair, and
let the best girl win. Does that sound all right to you?"
"Okay," Secret smiled. "Let the best girl win."
"Right," Akane nodded, snapping into a hard defensive stance. Secret
hovered in place atop a tiny nimbus of smoke, arms behind her back and
smiling.
They stood that way for a about a minute as the battles raged around them.
Eventually, Akane broke.
*Okay, fine,* she thought. *I'll go first.* "Yaah!" She threw a solid jab
at Secret's chest, and for a moment she thought she was about to see a
replay of her first fight against Ranma, where she just swung and swung,
while her opponent effortlessly dodged. But Secret simply held her ground,
wearing a friendly smile...
...as Akane's textbook-perfect jab passed right through her.
"WhoaA," Akane yelped as she overbalanced herself and stumbled forward
_through_ Secret. She whirled. "Wha-what? Are you a ghost?"
Secret shrugged, apologetic. "It's, umm, kinda part of my power. Sorry."
Akane huffed and drew her hand through her hair. "That's not fair," she
yelled and lashed out with a roundhouse kick, to no effect. A strike, a
grab, a leap and kick combination, nothing had any effect whatsoever, as
they all simply passed through the intangible girl. "Darn it, this isn't
_fair_!" She crumpled to her hands and knees.
Akane's eyes began to cloud with tears. For the first time since they'd
met, Ranma actually _needed_ her help, and she couldn't give it! She could
just hear him now: *Akane, you're useless. Ya can't even beat some little
girl. I don't wanna marry a weenie like you, so I'm gonna go off an' have
hot, sweaty sex with Ukyo an' Shampoo an' Kodachi an', _heck_ why not? I
think I'll boff that hot lookin' chick with the arrows while I'm at it.
Nyeah.*
Secret was puzzled as Akane scowled and a bright blue aura like hazy flames
flickered to life around her. "Um, Akane, are you okay?" She laid a smoky
hand on Akane's shoulder.
"RANMA, YOU JERK!!" Akane cried, spinning to her feet and lashing out with
an angry haymaker that miraculously connected. Secret shrieked as she was
sent flying through the air across the field.
* * *
Ryoga spat a gob of spit and blood as he clambered out of the long furrow
of turf he'd been driven into by Li'l Lobo's opening haymaker. The alien
teenager hadn't followed it up, instead he was taking the time to strut and
preen for the crowd. The martial artist gently fingered his jaw, hissing as
the pain hit him. While probably not broken, it might well have been
dislocated. Lobo continued to play to the crowd, his back to his
presumably-fallen opponent.
"Who da Main Man?!" He yelled to the crowd, flexing a bicep and kissing it
for the ladies. "_I'm_ da Main Man!" He felt a tap on his shoulder. "Huh?"
"It's rude to turn your back on an opponent," Ryoga growled, knuckles
cracking. "Not to mention stupid!" He delivered a vicious haymaker of his
own, sending Lobo arcing back a good dozen yards. Unlike his foe, he charged
forward, a barrage of bandanna-shuriken preceding him as he used his free
hand to unlimber his umbrella. The bandannas tore up the surrounding turf,
but had no noticeable effect on Lobo's nigh-invulnerable hide as the
transformed bounty-hunter climbed to his feet.
Swinging the deceptively light-looking umbrella like a club, Ryoga followed
up with a blow to the Czarnian's head, sending him flying back several more
yards.
"Sonova... Damn, that one rang my chimes," Lobo snarled, rolling into a
ready crouch. The kid was about the strongest non-meta human he'd ever
scrapped with, but he was no Big Blue. With a grin as fangy as his foe's,
Lobo lunged forward like a hunting cat, hands clutching for the martial
artist's throat.
Ryoga popped his steel-lined umbrella open for use as a shield, but the
alien tore through it like it was made of paper. He deflected the attempted
choke hold with crossed arms, but the movement allowed Lobo to deliver a
nasty knee to the midsection that dropped the martial artist forward,
followed up with a second knee to the chin that snapped Ryoga's head back.
Lobo grabbed a handful of hair, holding the Japanese teen upright with
little visible effort.
"Yer so fraggin' outclassed it's painful, buddy," Lobo grinned, delivering
a low blow for good measure while Ryoga was at his mercy. Ryoga groaned and
coughed once, as pain shot through his groin. Lobo continued. "I mean, I wuz
readin' the file on your buddy with the sissy pigtail, an' I figgered he'd
be some kinda challenge, but naw, I hadda get stuck with a no-account loser
like you. Throwin' _clothes_ at the Top Teen? Fightin' with an umbrella, fer
Grife's sake? What a pussy," he punctuated with a solid yank on Ryoga's
hair. "Ya fight like a li'l ol' lady."
Ryoga groaned again, but this time it sounded like muttered words. Lobo's
sensitive ears twitched. "What wuz that? You got somethin' ta say, punk?"
"I s-said... It was a mistake... For you to make fun..." His eyes shot
open, blazing with internal fire as his hands drove forward to press against
Lobo's chest. "...of Ryoga Hibiki! SHI SHI HOKODAN!!"
The ki-blast blasted Li'l Lobo full in the chest, but instead of knocking
him back, the recoil tore Ryoga from his grasp, sending him sprawling. As
for Lobo...
Li'l Lobo coughed, exhaling a tiny puff of smoke. His clothes were in
tatters, his leathers blown to smithereens. His hair bore a marked
resemblance to that of a Dragonball Z character's, as it stood straight back
from his head at a 110 degree angle, sizzling slightly. He blinked once,
and looked down at his feet, which had dug meter-long furrows in the earth.
"Holy fraggin' Grife! That akshully _stung_!"
Ryoga gave a short, rueful chuckle as he staggered to his feet. "Y-you
fool. Saying those terrible things about me..."
"Well, well. Seems ta be a little fight in ya yet, punk. Good. I'd hate fer
anyone ta think I wasn't givin' my best shot! Yaah!" He charged forward like
a freight train, right arm rearing back for another haymaker. Ryoga crouched
down, jabbing the earth with an extended finger.
"BAKUSAI TENKETSU!" The ground exploded in a cloud of dirt clods and
underlying rock. Ryoga leapt up and over the charging Czarnian and,
borrowing a page from Ranma's book, delivered a passing kick to the back of
his opponent's head, sending him sprawling face first into the crater left
behind by the Exploding Point Technique.
* * *
Ranma was beginning to have an inkling of how Akane had felt all those
months ago when they'd sparred for the first time. He was going all out,
using every once of speed and power he could wring from the Kachu Tenshin
Amaguriken technique, but his opponent just kept smiling and dodging. A
back-to-basics approach wasn't helping either, as even the most
precisely-executed manoeuvre performed with pinpoint accuracy failed to even
make contact with the laughing boy in red and white.
"Would'ja just hold still an' let me hit ya?" Ranma snarled, throwing
another futile jab-jab-spin-kick combination at the human whirlwind that was
Impulse, who simply wasn't there whenever a fist or foot was supposed to
land.
"Naw,thatwouldn'tbeverysmart.MaxwouldbeprettyupsetifIdidthat.Say,that'sprett
yneat.Whydoyoucallitthechestnutfist?Idon'tseeanychestnutshere.Didyouwantsome
?'CauseIcouldgogetsomeifyawant,it'snotrouble,really..."
"Gyyaah!" Ranma yelp, as a lunging kick impacted nothing but air. This was
worse than fighting Mint, worse than fighting the old ghoul. He was being
made to look like a rank amateur! "Dammit, this ain't fair! Quit zippin'
around an' fight me!"
Impulse continued to literally run circles around the pigtailed martial
artist, babbling all the while.
"IsthechestnutthingsortalikeJesseQuick'sspeedformula?'CauseMaxsaysthat'sabig
ol'cheatandthatJessean'herDad(he'sdeadbytheway)can'tgetpasttheirmentalblocka
boutusin'theirspeedwithoutsayingit.Ikindathinkhe'sright,'causeitdoesn'tdoany
thingforme.3X2(9YZ)4A!See,doesn'tmakemeanyfasteratall.Here,letmetrysomethin'
.KACHUTENSHINAMAGURIKEN!
The teen speedster's fists shot out at Ranma in a fraction of a blink,
sending the pigtailed fighter sprawling.
"Coo-ool..." Impulse said, finally motionless as he looked down at his
hands. "It's not like I can't move fast _anyway_, but it's so much _cooler_
if you say somethin' first! Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" A fist shot out
several thousand times in a fraction of a second, causing a rapid-fire
series of miniature sonic booms. "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" _Bbbrraaaaat!_
"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" _Bbbrraaaaat!_ "Whee!" he began to speed again,
stopping dead in his tracks every few seconds and letting loose with another
noisy pseudo-Amaguriken.
Ranma, seemingly forgotten in Impulse's glee at copying his technique,
winced as he found his feet. "Geez, it's like fightin' Copycat Ken all over
again. All the skills in the world ain't gonna do me much good against a kid
who can dodge or copy 'most anythin' I throw at him..."
Zip! "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" _Bbbrraaaaat!!_
"Seems kinda easily amused, though," Ranma pondered. "Almost like he's a
big ol' kid. I wonder... Hey! Yo! Fast guy!"
Zip! "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" _Bbbrraaaaat!!_
"Yo, Impulse!"
Zip! "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" _Bbbrraaaaat!!_
"Dammit, stop!"
Zip! "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" _Bbbrraaaaat!!_ Trip! Thud!
Ranma leaned over the prone speedster, leg still extended (and badly
bruised) from where he'd tripped the hyperactive superhero. "Yo, Impulse. I
s'pose ya think yer pretty clever, copyin' me like that."
"No duh," Impulse laughed, zipping to his feet and beginning to circle his
opponent once more. "S'notlikeit's_hard_ornothing."
Ranma gritted his teeth, but continued anyway. "Betcha can't do _this_,"
Ranma snarled, summoning the Soul of Ice technique and causing the ambient
temperature in a two-meter radius to drop ten degrees. Impulse was mildly
impressed, but continued to speed in a circle around the concentrating
martial artist, delivering rapid jabs that jerked Ranma around, but failed
to break his concentration.
"Kindaboringisn'tit?Imeanyoujuststandtherelikeapunchingbagandgetcold.
Iknowthisguywho'sasupervillaincandothesamethingonlyheusesacoldgun.
Hisname'sCaptainColdhe'skindofamemberoftheRoguesGallery.
There'shimandMirrorMasterandRainbowRaiderandHeatwaveandTraicksterand-" He
continued to natter on, counting off the member of the Rogues on his fingers
as he circled.
Ranma continued to project his cold ki outwards, a refinement of the Soul
of Ice he had first used against Saffron. Impulse wasn't exactly putting out
a battle aura. He was coated in _some_ kind of aura, though, Ranma reasoned,
otherwise his clothes and skin would have been flayed off by the wind
friction his speed caused. Not to mention the weird little arcs of lightning
he generated as he ran. Ranma didn't know if it would work, but he figured
that it was worth a shot, anyway. "HIRYU SHOTEN HA!" he yelled, punching his
ki-enveloped fist over his head.
* * *
Flash Fact: Speedsters draw their abilities from the Speed Force, a
quasi-sentient energy field that exists just beyond the lightspeed barrier.
Like a certain other Force, it surround and infuses those who wield it,
granting them powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. No one
truly understands what the Speed Force really _is_, (with the possible
exception of Max Mercury, the Zen master of speed) but Flashes throughout
the generations have discovered what it can _do_. It makes you fast. Really
fast. It also gives you an aura that prevents any of the nasty side-effects
of friction from harming a speedster. Things like wind-shear, or
friction-generated heat, for example.
Ranma, of course, had no way of knowing this.
* * *
Ranma Fact: the Hiryu Shoten Ha is an Amazon martial technique that uses
the "hot" ki of one's opponent against them. Like metaphorical storm fronts,
the "hot" and "cold" ki-auras generated by the combatants combine
explosively to form a localised tornado. Without both "hot" and "cold"
energies, the move won't work, or at least, it won't work _right_.
While the Speed Force isn't the same thing as ki, it is nevertheless a form
of energy. Volatile energy, as Wally West (The current Flash) could tell
you.
What occurred when the cold aura generated by Ranma collided with the Speed
aura generated by Impulse could best be described as a "Big Bada-Boom."
* * *
Shampoo knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was more than a match for
the blonde girl with the oddly-familiar symbol on her chest. It showed in
the way her opponent moved, the way she carried herself while on the ground.
In many ways, it was very much like fighting Akane; the girl had titanic
strength, and some small skill in what looked like a very familiar form of
martial arts. She also had a temper on her like you wouldn't believe, as
Shampoo discovered early on when the blonde had accused her of flirting with
Superboy.
Yes, Shampoo was absolutely certain she could put down the American girl...
If she'd only stop flying around!
"What matter? You no think you can defeat Amazon in fair match?" Shampoo
called up to her opponent who flew several meters overhead, swooping down
every so often to pick up some large object to toss at her.
"You don't look like any Amazon _I've_ ever met," Wonder Girl called down,
following the remark with a toss of a Headmaster Kuno bust that Shampoo
smashed aside with a bonbori.
"You meet Amazon before?" Shampoo called, bracing for another thrown
object. So far she'd dodged, blocked or turned aside a statue, three
boulder-sized chunks of macadam, an unfortunate Austin Mini from the staff
parking lot, and the better part of a tree. It looked like the blonde would
run out of things to throw long before she grew tired of the exercise.
"No duh! I _am_ an Amazon! Well, an adopted one, anyway," she added as she
used a torn-up lamp post as a makeshift spear.
Shampoo blinked, barely remembering to spring aside as the improvised
missile hit the spot where she'd been standing instants before. "<Time
out!>" Shampoo called in Mandarin, dropping her maces to the side and
forming a 'T' shape with her hands. Wonder Girl paused, the baby box
strapped to her arm translating the phrase for her. She slowly allowed
herself to float down to earth, landing a few feet away from the Chinese
girl.
"<If you really _are_ an Amazon, you'll know the Secret Handshake,>"
Shampoo stated, extending her hand to the American girl.
Wonder girl began to sweat as she racked her brain. Diana had shown it to
her, but... "Uh, like this?" she clutched Shampoo's offered hand in a
complicated sequence of grips that finished with the pair gripping each
other's forearms.
Shampoo smiled. Inexpertly performed, but definitely the Amazon Secret
Handshake. "<Sister!>" Shampoo cried, enveloping the other girl in a tight
hug and kissing her on the cheek. "<Hail and well met!>"
"Uh, yeah, right back at'cha," Wonder Girl returned with a shaky smile.
* * *
It was a good thing for Robin that he wasn't entirely unfamiliar with
Kendo. The art of sword forms, along with Kyudo, the art of Zen archery, had
been briefly touched on during his education in the martial arts. Still,
everything he'd been taught told him that Kendo was a sport, not a real
martial art, and as such, not a tangible threat.
This assessment was proving grievously wrong.
Tatewaki Kuno, a.k.a. the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High (Robin knew his
name and title, since the kendoist had informed him in verse before the
fight began in earnest. Informed him at _length_.) was easily the most
dangerous swordsman the Teen Wonder had ever faced. All the more so because
he wasn't even wielding live steel, and was _still_ making gashes in his
kevlar body armour. Batman had taught the best defence when faced with an
assailant using a weapon is to relieve your assailant of said weapon as soon
as possible, and preferably painfully. Only how was he supposed to do _that_
when he couldn't even get close without being bludgeoned?
He drew his collapsible Bo staff and made a few tentative thrusts forward,
only to have each turned aside. Closing for a hand to hand assault gained
him nothing but a series of clouts to the head that he _knew_ must be
swelling up into fairly impressive knots.
"Ha! Foolish gaijin dog!" Kuno declaimed, holding his wooden bokken in a
ready position, "No mere practitioner of the dark arts of ninjitsu can
defeat the Blue Thunder! Your very garb reveals your base and unholy
nature!"
Robin didn't quite know what to make of that statement. His outfit, while
not as goofy-looking as the suit Dick used to wear, was still pretty bright
and cheerful, at least compared to his mentor's suit.
Due to some rather... unorthodox... training the previous August, Tatewaki
Kuno gained another permanent fixture to his Enemies List. The results of
that training catapulted a seemingly innocuous fruit to the top of that
List, even higher than his Loathsome Sire and the Hated Saotome.
Yea, verily, did Tatewaki Kuno despise the watermelon, in all its
unwholesome succulence and malefic juiciness. He loathed it entirely, from
the foul green rind through to the vile red pulp. The Unholy Melon needs
must be destroyed, no matter what guise it may take, and it takes many
guises indeed, oh, yes. It hides remarkably well, for a supposedly-inanimate
fruit. Yet a clever and discerning eye can spot the wily watermelon by the
one characteristic it can never disguise:
A watermelon, you see, is red and green.
Much like the Robin suit.
"Die, Unrighteous Fruit!" Tatewaki Kuno did proclaim as he lunged the Teen
Wonder. "Tatatatatatatatatatata!"
Robin needed all his skill with the Bo, as well as every once of gymnastic
ability the Dark Knight had taught him, just to stay clear of the thrusts.
"Why-" dodge, parry, "Does everyone assume-" block, block, parry, "That I'm
gay?!" Robin yelped. Block, parry, dodge, dodge, "I mean, I don't even-"
parry, parry, block, dodge, "Wear the short pants-" dodge, parry, parry,
block, "Or the Peter Pan booties!" Block, parry, spin, thrust!
The end of the Bo staff dug into the ground, and Robin used it like a
monk's spade to vault forward with a leaping side kick that caught the
demented kendoist in the jaw, sending him spinning to the ground. "I happen
to be heterosexual, you know! I've got a girlfriend and everything!"
The kendoist leapt to his feet. "Think you to confuse the Blue Thunder with
your foolish words? I say thee nay! You are most definitely a watermelon!
What care I for aught else?" He charged forward once more, but this time the
Teen Wonder went low instead of high, using his staff to block the bokken
thrust while knocking Kuno's legs out from under him with a leg sweep.
"A watermelon? Boy, and I thought Gotham had the monopoly on loonies,"
Robin groaned, kicking the prone kendoist's bokken aside. "Lights out,
weirdo," he finished with a clout to the back of Kuno's head with the butt
of his staff.
* * *
Deep in the bowels of S.T.A.R. Labs' Tokyo branch lie the genetic
engineering laboratories, where Japan's best and brightest geneticists toil
endless to decode the mysteries of the superhuman genome. Cell specimens are
shipped in from all over the globe, from Abu Simbel to Zandia, and only the
most interesting samples grab the attention of the dedicated researchers of
S.T.A.R. Labs. Sometimes, cloning technology is employed, to increase the
supply of a given sample. Only in the rarest occasions are full clones ever
grown, and even then certain steps are taken to ensure that the copy is
never as dangerous as the original. Such test subjects are kept locked away
in cells in the deepest, darkest parts of the Genetics labs, never to be
released.
Metahuman test subject #08967 was one such specimen. No sane individual
would _ever_ contemplate releasing it, since the parent creature had proven
virtually unstoppable by any means known to man.
Gendo Ikari was one of the aforementioned 'best and brightest' geneticists
in Japan. Brilliant, unorthodox, possessed of a piercing intellect and
theories that had certain German-based multinational organisations _very_
intrigued.
However, he _was_ still only a college intern, and as such was forced to
act as 'gopher' for the _real_ project scientists. Amongst other duties was
the carrying out of maintenance orders for various test subjects. He scowled
as he read the week's orders, sent down from Professor Ohta himself.
"Add the saltpetre mix to the kibble for subjects #76859 through #81204,
change the newspaper in big G's cage, euugh... Hello, what's this?" Gendo
blinked as he examined the work order for subject #08967. "This has to be a
mistake." He thought about it. Complaining would mean he'd be forced to take
at least an hour away from his 'duties' to fight through the bureaucracy and
speak with Professor Ohta directly. This would result in being late getting
off work. And he _did_ have that hot date with Yui tonight; it looked like
she was finally going to put out... "Eh, I'm sure the Professor knows what
he's doing," Gendo shrugged. "Releasing Metahuman test subject #08967."
* * *
"Dis be no fun," Headmaster Kuno complained, strumming out a mournful air
on his ukulele. "Dese keiki don' be havin' enough o' a challenge, yeah?" He
produced a small box with a Big Red Button on top and extended the antenna.
"_Now_ we gon' see some _real_ fun!" With a grin even larger than usual, he
depressed the Big Red Button.
* * *
Once again, several things happened at once.
1. Ukyo was momentarily startled as Secret flew _through_ her due to the
knockback from Akane's punch, allowing Arrowette a moment to whip out a
spare bowstring and attempt to restring her bow.
2. Tatewaki Kuno stood up from a dead faint, crying "I fight on!" This
caused Robin to spring back without looking and fall into one of the furrows
dug up by Ryoga and Li'l Lobo's game of shot-for-shot.
3. Akane blinked hard and realised that she had actually scored a palpable
hit on Secret, without entirely realising _how_.
4. Ranma's improperly-executed Hiryu Shoten Ha interacted with the Speed
Force surrounding Impulse and detonated into a massive explosion of
lightning and icy clouds that swiftly enveloped the field, blowing all
concerned off their feet.
5. Superboy, knocked ass-over-teakettle by the explosion, accidentally let
go of Mousse's chains, sending him screaming into the electrically charged
cloud, where he collided with Ranma, sending both of them sprawling.
6. Headmaster Kuno's Device activated, exploding from the turf in the centre
of the field, revealing itself to be a giant robotic pineapple, complete
with a forest of faintly-menacing robot arms clustered around the top like
leaves.
7. Most of the Furinkan student body made a strategic advance to the rear,
deciding that things had passed beyond the entertaining stage and straight
through into dangerous.
* * *
In the heart of Akihabura ward, sirens wailed, red lights flashed, and the
populace screamed and fled. The SDF's most modern weaponry was proving
useless against the rampaging monster, and the decision had been made to
call in the top-secret G-Force to deal with the problem. G-Force commanders
had taken one look at the creature, shuddered, and muttered "not our
jurisdiction, sorry," before disconnecting the phones and hiding under their
desks.
Dr. Kimiyo Hoshi, a.k.a. Dr. Light, flicked a sweaty strand of hair out of
her eyes and let loose another blast of focused excited photons at the
creature. It bellowed and rocked back on its heels, pausing only to tear up
an abandoned city bus and hurl it at the superheroine.
Dr. Light barely flew aside in time to avoid the missile, watching in
horror as the bus tore into the side of an office tower, demolishing the
middle three floors and causing the entire structure to collapse. The
creature briefly disappeared in the cloud of dust, only to reappear moments
later, apparently unscathed and as angry as before.
Kimiyo hammered the call-button on the Justice League communicator sewn
into her right glove. "This is Dr. Light in Japan! We have an emergency, I
repeat, an emergency! I need backup, boy, do I need backup! J'onn, Clark,
Diana, anyone!"
High above on the surface of the moon, relays beamed the message into the
fringes of the solar system, where the JLA was desperately attempting to
destroy a Khundish invasion fleet that had warped into the orbit of Pluto
minutes before. Aquaman, forced into manning the comm. system of the JLA's
spacecraft by virtue of being unable to contribute to the space battle,
answered. "Dr. Light, we read you. We're a little tied up right now saving
the world from alien invasion."
"Again?" Dr. Light yelped into the comm. "That's the third time this
month!"
"What can I say, it must be silly season on Khundia. We'll try to finish up
as fast as we can and hurry back, but no guarantees. Aquaman out."
Kimiyo hung her head in misery. There was no _way_ she could handle the
creature on her own. What on earth possessed the intern to let this thing
loose? she wondered. He was gone, first thing tomorrow. Assuming Japan
survived 'till tomorrow...
Dr. Light warmed up for another blast of photons, only to fly to the side
at the last possible opportunity as the creature lunged at her with a
titanic leap. It came down hard three blocks away, tearing another
skyscraper down with it. Light fired her beam into the cloud of rubble, but
once again the creature shrugged it off, choosing to spring still further
away, giant leaps carrying it kilometres at a shot.
"Kamisama!" Dr. Light swore, "He's headed for the suburbs!"
* * *
Nabiki Tendo was _not_ a happy camper. Visions of piles of yen suddenly
sprouted wings and flapped away as what was originally a series of
straightforward challenge matches, rapidly degenerated into a free-for-all
brawl, pitting random Neriman against random Superhero, and both sides
against the Big Kahuna's... Thing.
"No, you idiots! Stick to your own opponents!" she cried through the
megaphone, but if anyone heard her over the noise, they didn't obey. Nabiki
begin to quietly weep. "I _must_ be losing my touch," she moaned. "I
should've known this would happen." Oh the shame. She'd thought she'd
covered all the angles; she had people betting on individual fighters as
well as the spread, but somehow, someway, she hadn't factored in outside
interference from Da Principal or other matches. Now, all bets were off,
she'd have to give back all the wagered monies. At least... At least there
was still merchandising! She glanced over at the kiosk she'd set up to sell
Superboy and Young Justice T-shirts, action figures, souvenir mugs and
posters, only to see it be demolished, as an airborne Wonder Girl slammed
into it, stood up, and flew back into the fray. "Auugh! I spent the entire
finder's fee on those!"
Nabiki's left eye began to twitch in time with the quivering of her bottom
lip. "Stupid, stupid... Serves me right for listening to the wastebasket."
* * *
Their individual fights put aside in the face of the monstrous
Mecha-Pineapple, twelve abnormally-powerful teenagers lay siege to the
infernal device.
The Furinkan High Irregulars were in their element. At one time or another,
each had faced the maniacal machinations of Da Principal. True, this was the
first time he'd ever pulled something _this_ big out of his hat, but they
were confident they could overcome it.
Kuno was the first into the fray, slicing shear-tipped robotic
tentacle-leaves into sausage-sized segments with each swipe of his mighty
bokken, laughing all the while. "Foolish educator! Think you to steal the
luxurious locks of Tatewaki Kuno so easily? Your vile contraption is no
match for my puissance!"
On the sideline, his father's grin wilted slightly, then returned, more
demented than ever. "Oh, Tacchi! You t'ink I no plan for dis? Say aloha to a
li'l sumptin' I cook up special fo' de li'l fast boy! Ha ha hey!" He thumbed
another switch on the remote, and suddenly the shear-arms sped up a
hundredfold.
"Curse you!" Kuno yelped as a shear grazed him, leaving a small bald patch
over his left ear. "I fight on!"
Robin swung in on a bat-line to assist, briefly tangling a number of the
metallic limbs up with a series of well-thrown bolas. "Need a hand, Blue
Thunder?"
Kuno sniffed. "Though it pains me to say this, I owe you thanks, Watermelon
Boy. Think not, however, that this spares you from my vengeance ere my
father's vile creation lies broken!"
"Yeah, whatever," Robin grumbled, disabling a few more tentacles with
thrown bat-a-rangs.
In the air above, Wonder Girl wrestled with a half-dozen steel tentacles
tipped not with shears but with grabber-claws. Every time her gods-gifted
strength yanked one out it's housing, another swarmed forth to take it's
place. What was worse, the metallic limbs had a certain elasticity not
unlike coaxial cables, requiring her to bring both strength and leverage
into play each time. "Superboy! A little help here, please?"
"No can-do, W.G., I'm kinda -ow! Busy at the moment," the Teen of Steel
yelped as he barely dodged a stream of fire from a flame-thrower-tipped
cable. The tentacles couldn't wrap him up, due to his tactile TK and tricky
flying, but they _were_ able to keep him from assisting his friends.
"Fine!" Wonder Girl yelled as she tore loose another cable. Looking around
for available help, she spotted Li'l Lobo nearby, sitting on top of a
swirly-eyed Ryoga. "Lobo, how about an assist! Hey! What're you _doing_?!
Lobo set down the bag of popcorn he'd been munching on. "Aw, shoot. Yer no
fun. I come alla way ta' Japan an' I don't get ta watch 'blonde versus the
tentacles'? Grife," he grumbled, leaping to her aid.
Ukyo and Arrowette stood back-to-back, firing off spatula shuriken and
trick arrows into the swarming mass of metal limbs. "Damn," Arrowette cursed
as she entangled a few tentacles in a well-placed net-arrow. "Where did this
thing come from?"
"It's our jackass principal, sugar," Ukyo called back, blocking a lunge
from a shear-tipped tentacle with the flat of her battle-spatula. "He pulls
this kinda stunt all the time!"
A mannequin head wearing shades and a tiny palm tree growing out of its
hair sprang out of the end of the limb the chef had blocked. "Aloha! De
wahines get de bowl-cuts!" It squawked, its grinning mouth springing open
and shooting out a tiny clipper-tipped cable. Ukyo ducked, but Arrowette was
not so lucky as the tiny terror quickly did its dirty work.
"Wha..?" Arrowette gasped as she saw long golden hanks flutter to the
ground. She dropped her boy and clutched frantically at her head. "My hair!
Aaah! I look like a freak!"
Ukyo spared her a brief glance before severing the tonsorial tentacle with
the blade of her spat. "It uhh, ain't that bad, sugar, honest..."
"My hair! You cut my hair! It took me _years_ to grow it that long!"
Arrowette shrieked. "Die, you stupid robot!" Then, picking up her bow and
using it like a bludgeon, she proceeded to attack the main body of the
pineapple, screaming like a banshee all the while.
Impulse was enjoying the heck out of himself, running in patterns that made
no apparent sense, until the shear-tipped tentacles that were chasing him
literally tied themselves into knots trying to pursue. "Whew, this is fun!"
He sped off, looking for more playmates.
"Aww..." Principal Kuno shed a quiet tear as he watched the speedy,
big-haired youth evade his shears again. "Da big Kahuna was lookin' forward
to dat ..."
Mousse was a whirling dervish of blades and limbs as he stood fast in front
of Shampoo. "Never! Never will I allow you to trim even an inch of my sweet
Shampoo's hair! Back, back I say!" Not a single limb got past his guard.
"Aiyah..." Shampoo said breathily, before shaking her head violently.
"Stupid Mousse! Shampoo no need you help!"
She sprang past him towards the fray, two wickedly-sharp curved swords in
place of her customary bonbori. "Machines that try to cut Amazon's hair go
to very bad place!" Left and right, above and below she hacked, slashed and
cut, driving her way forward towards the core of the machine.
"Shampoo, wait for me," Mousse called, diving after her, only to recoil as
a tentacle swiped at his head, knocking his glasses away. "Bah, doesn't
matter! I can see just fine without them," he declared, disposing of the
offending tentacle and charging after his beloved.
Akane stood, blazing with anger, in front of Secret, demolishing and
batting aside vacuum-tipped tentacles that lunged for the immaterial girl.
"Stupid jerk principal," she muttered as she tied two tentacles into a bow.
"In front of _visitors_, no less..."
"Thanks, Akane," Secret murmured from behind her. "Those things almost got
me. I'd teleport away, only I can only go from smoke-cloud to smoke-cloud."
"That's okay, Suzie," the Japanese girl called back, "Protecting people is
a -yaah!- martial artists' duty!" She grinned fiercely. No _way_ Ranma
wouldn't take her seriously now! She spared a glance around, looking for her
fiance. "Ranma!" she called, "Where are you?"
"I'm comin' Akane!" He yelled, bursting free of a mass of tentacles at her
cry. By the look of things, he'd been holding his own, although he was
missing a few centimetres of pigtail and his shirt torn to shreds.
"Ah-ah-ah, not so fast, brah!" The Principal's voice called from a
loudspeaker on the machine. "Da Kahuna gotta surprise fo' you!" A tentacle
suddenly produced a wide nozzle, spewing a torrent of cold water that blew
the pigtailed martial artist out of the air. "Da Kahuna gotta surprise fo'
ALL de bad keiki!" In a heartbeat, what tentacles that weren't knotted,
kinked or destroyed retracted into the body of the Mecha-Pineapple.
"Huh?"
"Wha-?"
"Aiyah! We win?"
"Stupid rassin'-frassin' thing! YOU CUT MY HAIR!"
"What the frag just happened?"
"It ain't over..."
"Ranma!"
Ranma-chan pried herself out of the muddy rut she'd been driven into by the
blast of water. "Heh..." She chuckled nastily, wiping a glob of mud off her
face. "I don't think it's over yet..."
"Whoa!" Superboy gasped, taking in the sight of a muddy-yet-stunning
redhead that had appeared from nowhere. "Got-ta get me some'a _that_!"
"Ko-on!" Wonder Girl snapped.
Before things could go any further, the pineapple sprouted dozens of
foot-long tubes and began to rotate. Slowly at first, but rapidly picking up
speed.
"Cool! Just like the final boss in Super Sonic Brothers World!" Impulse
said.
Without warning, jets of cold water spewed from the tubes, turning the
whole thing into a giant, high-powered lawn sprinkler.
All the combatants were knocked back a few feet, but aside from dampness,
were pretty much unharmed.
"I don't get it," Robin said to Kuno. "What was the point of all that?"
"I know not," Kuno intoned, flicking his wet bangs out of his eyes. "But it
is doubtless some diabolical plot by mine own nefarious sire. Perhaps a
shampoo and blow-dry is next?"
"Hey!" Impulse called out, drawing everyone's attention. "What happened to
the other guys?"
The members of Young Justice looked around. With the exceptions of Ukyo,
Akane and Kuno, the rest of their opponents had vanished.
"I'm right over here, twinkletoes," Ranma-chan yelled, striking a ready
stance. The others turned and stared. A petite, tattered-looking redhead had
appeared from nowhere, and she was... Flashing them?
Robin blushed and averted his eyes. Superboy and Li'l Lobo drooled. Impulse
blinked hard and said "Whoa!" before passing out with a nosebleed. (He'd
heard it was the done thing in Japan when confronted with a naked breast.)
Arrowette looked Wonder Girl in the eye and, seeing silent agreement in the
other girl's eyes, nodded. "Tramp."
"Pigtailed Girl!" Kuno cried in joy, springing forward like an amorous
French skunk. "Come to my arms, my love!"
Ranma-chan snap-kicked the kendoist out of the yard. "Not now, jerk.
Awright," she called to the visiting team, "Who wants some?!"
"Me! Me!" Lobo and Superboy cried, jumping up and down. Wonder Girl's
eyebrow twitched and she began to growl, low in her throat.
The adopted Amazon felt a tap on her shoulder. She spun, only to see Akane
holding out an improbably large wooden mallet. "Here," Akane said calmly.
"Use this."
Wonder Girl nodded, taking the mallet and marching up behind the drooling
super-teens. She hefted the hammer, adjusted her grip, wound up... "You...
JERKS!"
Ka-POW! Superboy and Lobo found themselves airborne, and not by choice.
"Ahh... that was oddly therapeutic," Cassie said, dropping the large hammer
and dusting off her hands.
Yep, Shampoo nodded from where she hid as a bedraggled and wet cat, _just_
like Akane...
Impulse, newly recovered, noticed that Robin was making that face again,
but there was _still_ no sweatdrop appearing. He wondered if they'd _ever_
learn how before they went home.
"All... this... aside," Robin scowled wetly, "I think it's safe to say we
won. Four of us are still here and standing, while your group," he gestured
vaguely at Akane and Ukyo, "Is down to two. We win."
"Three," Ranma-chan yelled, causing her endowments to jiggle in a very
distracting fashion. Impulse fainted again, Robin averted his eyes, and
Wonder Girl stalked forward, pulling off her leather jacket.
"For Athena's sake, cover yourself! Sheesh!"
On the sidelines, faint hope for salvaging her profits flared in Nabiki's
breast. "Hold it! Hold everything," she called, charging onto to muddy
field, heedless of the spraying water. "I hereby declare this match null and
void! Not only was there interference from outside," she jerked her head
towards the giant spinning mecha-pineapple before continuing, "Half our
fighters have been disabled illegally!"
"What are you talking about?" Arrowette asked while fingering the end of
her bowl-cut hair. Maybe Cassie would let her borrow one of her wigs for a
while...
Akane strode forward. "The water activated our guys' curses. See?" She
gestured at the soaked duck, cat, and Ranma-chan. "At least let us get some
hot water before we continue!"
"Yeah!" Ranma-chan yelled, as she zipped up her borrowed jacket.
"Curses? What kind of bull is that?" Wonder Girl yelled, getting in Akane's
face. "You're just saying that 'cause you don't want to admit you lost!"
Ranma scowled and muscled her way between the two girls. "We ain't makin'
nothin' up! An' we didn't lose!"
Wonder Girl sniffed. "And who asked you, you... you exhibitionist! Butt
out!"
"Hey! I ain't no exhibitionist! I've never even _looked_ at another guy!"
This boggled everyone long enough for Superboy to fly back, with Lobo in
tow. "Hey, why'd you hit me, Cassie? An' what's goin' on?"
Thing degenerated into a screaming match from there, freeing Robin up to
slink away. *I bet that laughing guy in the Don-Ho-on-crack getup is Kuno's
dad,* he thought to himself, as he crept ever closer to the oblivious
headmaster. *It'd fit with the tropical motif of the robot pineapple.*
"Dis is no good," Headmaster Kuno whined. "Dey no fightin' no more." He
began to fiddle with the remote. "Dere gotta be somp'tin' I ain't tried
yet-"
BONK!
"Auieee..." Da Kahuna moaned as he passed out, revealing Robin behind him,
his bo staff held high. With a grin of satisfaction, he drove the end of the
staff into the remote, shattering it into pieces.
"And that takes care of _that_."
* * *
Despite the water-works shutting down, the argument continued, verging on
the physical.
"My hair, my poor hair..."
"You're alla buncha wimps, anyway. The Top Teen could take ya all on
without breakin' a sweat!"
"Sez who?" an irate redhead yelled back.
"Says me, sweet-tits."
"Hey!"
A spatula was unslung. "Don't talk about my fiance that way, you
pasty-faced reject from a kabuki play!"
A cat leapt on a spiky-haired head. "Meoowww!!!"
"Whut the frag? Hey, ow! Quit pullin' m'hair!"
Two hot-tempered young ladies got personal. "Bitch!"
"Tramp!"
The Teen of Steel was at a loss. "Imp! Hey, Imp! Get this crazy duck offa
me!"
"Waaaak!"
"I can't! He's flying around and he's got a knife!"
A small black pig regained consciousness. "Bwee?"
A ghost-girl noticed. "Aww... What a cute little pig..."
Robin desperately tried to break things up. "Come on, can't we just be
reasonable about this?"
"NO!" nine voices chorused.
The giant mecha-pineapple exploded. THAT got everyone's attention. They
looked up to see a very singed, very tired and very _irate_ Dr. Light flying
overhead.
"Stop this foolishness right now! Can't you hear the sirens?"
In the sudden silence that greeted her demand, the civil defence sirens
could be heard wailing. In the distance, a huge fireball exploded into
being, turning quickly into a billowing cloud of smoke.
"What's going on?" Robin asked, instantly all business.
Dr. Light seemed to sag in mid-air. "He's coming... I can't stop him by
myself and I need your help. The JLA is in space, and I-"
KA-THWOOM! An explosion detonated a block away, shattering glass for block
and knocking everyone off their feet.
KA-THWOOOM!! Another explosion, closer now. Something was coming, something
bad.
Nabiki swore fervently in Japanese as she picked herself up off the ground.
"What _is_ it?"
"Don't worry," Superboy said, gently helping her to her feet. "Whatever it
is, I'll protect ya." He said it with such sincerity and conviction that
Nabiki utterly failed to keep from swooning into his arms.
"I feel somethin'..." Ranma whispered hoarsely, her eyes wide. "Somethin'
_powerful_ comin' towards us." Ukyo and Akane nodded, clutching her hands.
In her distracted state, she neither noticed nor cared. "Whatever it is,
it's puttin' off a battle aura as big as Saffron's..." Another explosion,
this time less than a block away, blew everyone to the ground. "No, bigger!"
With another titanic, thunderous noise, IT landed on top of Furinkan High,
smashing the central tower into rubble with the impact. A low, sonorous roar
echoed from the ensuing cloud of dust.
Wonder Girl went white. "I know that roar... Oh no..."
"What is it, Cass?" Arrowette gasped, clutching her friend's shoulder.
The thing emerged from the rubble, growling all the while. It was massive,
corded with stone-grey muscle. Points of rock-like white bone protruded from
its elbows, knuckles and knees like wicked spurs or claws. Snow-white hair
flew wildly behind it as it grimaced, its face a mask of white bone and grey
flesh. Barely taller than it was wide, it _radiated_ destructive power and
menace.
"It..." Wonder Girl gasped. "It's Doomsday..."
The teenaged adventurers all blanched. Even in Japan, they'd heard of the
creature dubbed "Doomsday" by the American press. As destructive and
dangerous as Gojira, Gamera, Mothra and Rodan all combined. The creature
that killed Superman.
Okay, he'd gotten better, but _still_...
"Err, not quite..." Dr. Light moaned from her prone position on the ground.
"Look again."
They did. Once their initial shock wore off, they realised that the famous
monster didn't _quite_ look like it did in all the pictures. For one thing,
it was short. Maybe a meter, a meter and a quarter tall. For another thing,
its head seemed larger than it should have been; wider, too.
"Holy cow," Impulse whispered breathlessly. "It's a Chibi Doomsday!"
* * *
TO BE CONTINUED IN THE NEXT SENSES-SHATTERING ISSUE OF "WHEN TITANS CLASH!"
Coming soon to a mailing list near you!
Author's notes: the Flash Facts and Ranma Facts bits are my personal salute
to those seminal 60's Flash writers, John Broome and Julius Schwartz, who
used to pepper their books with vague scientific explanations of
pseudo-scientific phenomenae they called "Flash Facts", usually as an excuse
for good ol' Barry Allen-Flash to pull some bull$#!t trick out of his
spandex-clad behind to defeat the rogue-du-jour. They were dumb, but I liked
'em. As for the Speed Force, don't blame me if it's silly. Blame Mark Waid
and Brian Augustyn, they came up with it and made it Flash canon.
Apology: Gary, I know you're gonna hate my prose style in this piece, but
like I've said, it happens sometimes, and sometimes (I hope ~_^) it works.
Hope you can enjoy it anyway.
Thank Yous: Thanks to all the peeps who voted! In no particular order, Mark
Biggar, DragonBard, Jason, James M. Zema, Bryan Neef, Raymond Nirag,
Tzxazrael, Michael Noakes, Kent Hyam, Rylan Hilman, Christopher Olsen,
GunKnight, Tail Kinker, Louis-Phillipe Giroux, Angus MacSpon, H. Torrance
Griffith, Pang Sze Chuan, Small Pink Mouse, Poorman777, Allyn Yonge, Tannim
Murphy, Nyssia Otauku, Bruce A. Munro and John Sauber. Most of you got your
votes in on time, but I want to thank all of you for writing at all!
Thanks also to Garry Kleppe and Bert Miller, who sent in very helpful C+C on
part one not related to voting. Cheers!
Any input y'all have on the Doomsday vs. everyone else battle is
appreciated, but should likely be sent by private mail to avoid snowing
under the list. If you've got commentary about the fic _not_ related to
that, by all means post it to the list, that's what it's there for.
Dave Menard
You're the cutest of the Scoobies,
With your lips as red as rubies,
And your firm and supple... tight embrace!
-Xander, BTVS "Once More With Feeling"
Dawn's in danger? Oh. It must be Tuesday.
-Buffy, BTVS "Once More With Feeling"
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