Woo-hoo! Fragments is back! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

    Where to begin... Oh, howabout... I_love_ this story? I don't think I've
ever read a continuation fic with this kind of emotional breadth and depth.
Awhile back when commenting on another story I mentioned that I'd never seen
a continuation fic that had dared to seriously explore "What if Ranma chose
someone other than Akane?" beyond thinly veiled Akane-bashing. (As it turns
out, Fragments _isn't_ the only one, but it's one of the most ambitious, to
be sure) And then your story was dropped in my lap. <sigh> I could go on for
hours about what I love about this story, but I won't. I'll just point out a
few of my favorite things...

    No. One: Sympathetic characterization. There is not a _one_ of the Ranma
cast who isn't well-written here. All of their qualities and their faults
are on display in vivid colors; Akane's compassion and her jealousy, Ranma's
insensitivity and his gentleness, Ryoga's anger and regret, the exoticism of
the Amazons contrasted with their (rarely seen in fanfic) humanity... I
could go on and on. No one gets the short shrift in this tale, and one never
gets the impression that their actions are being forced along a particular
path by anything other than horrible inevitability. While reading this
story, one finds oneself hating their actions, but loving the characters,
and _understanding_ beyond a shadow of a doubt _why_ they're doing these
things, and desperately wanting to strangle and/or hug them into
insensibility.

    No. Two: Life goes on. There is a sense in this story that despite the
trials and tribulations the characters are going through that they will
cope, they will eventually be able to deal with what happened/is happening,
because in Fragments, the Ranma cast are _people_, real human beings who
suffer and grieve and laugh and grow up and while their relationships may
not survive, somehow _they_ will live, and grow, and come out the other end
of the tunnel changed, but alive nonetheless. This isn't to say I see
universally happy endings on the horizon (Okay, I've read ahead on the
Delphi forum, I admit, and I know it won't all be sweetness and light in the
end) but that the innate _reality_ of the characters as you've portrayed
them makes it impossible for me to believe that they won't survive in some
way, shape or form to try again, to live and/or love and/or hope again, and
that's rare in fanfic. Hell, that's rare in ANY form of literature.

    No. Three: A new character that _isn't_ annoying. Yuki/Kimiko fits so
well into the Ranma world that to see her act as a catalyst for these events
doesn't seem unnatural or forced, unlike many ACCs. She isn't perfect, she's
no more prone to fits of angst than any of the other characters, and she's
not always likeable. That last is important, because it's all part of point
one, your characterization skill. Just like the regular cast, Yuki inspires
alternating cheers and jeers; she's as fallible, as _human_ as the rest of
the cast. One never gets the sense that she is an author avatar, or that
she's got a Message to Convey to the Nerima regulars. she's just _there_ and
that's enough to get the story rolling.

    To move on to more general things, your prose is very well crafted and
evocative, and rings with emotional truth. What few spelling or grammar
errors I spotted were minor, and didn't affect my enjoyment of the story.
You did an excellent job of writing in the third person omniscient,
something too often screwed up by fanfic authors. (Heck, I've botched it
myself, many times.) The quality of your writing is excellent, something the
fanfic world needs more of, and the fact that (according to your lil' bio
page) you're still in your teens tells me that you've a bright future ahead
of you should you choose to become a professional writer. While I'll miss
your fanfic, I'd love to someday see a nice, thick hardcover with "By Ling
Shen" on the cover adorning my bookshelf.

    About the story itself, I've got to admit I'm a little upset with you
for the ending, but I won't spoil it for FFML members by talking about any
specifics. I'll just say I wish you'd resisted the urge to add that last bit
of angst and given your characters a chance for a happier ending. <shrugs>
It's still a powerful story, though, and one I'll enjoy re-reading in the
months and years to come.

    Looking forward to more fine stories from you in the future, and hoping
you'll post to the FFML more often!

Dave Menard

You're the cutest of the Scoobies,
With your lips as red as rubies,
And your firm and supple... tight embrace!
-Xander, BTVS "Once More With Feeling"

Dawn's in danger? Oh. It must be Tuesday.
-Buffy, BTVS

	     .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'