Warning! Not to be taken seriously!

******

 "Fantastic! Simply astonishing," gasped Dr. Kimiyo Hoshi as she gazed
raptly at the footage. "And you say that the subject isn't a metahuman?"

 Her colleague, Professor Shinichiro Ohta, grinned. "Well, in the absence of
a live-tissue DNA scan for the meta-gene, we really can't say for certain,
but based on the hair and skin samples recovered from the scenes of his
numerous battles, I'd tentatively say no. The boy's as mundane as you or me.
Er... Well, as mundane as me, anyway."

 Dr. Hoshi, who was occasionally known as Dr. Light, former member of the
Justice League International and current head of S.T.A.R. Labs' Tokyo
branch, smiled in return. "Well, it's nevertheless astounding. Why, the
possibilities this raises for science... Can we bring him in for testing?"

 Ohta frowned. "No, more's the pity. We've sent several letters, in the
politest possible language inviting him to our facility, but he keeps
refusing. He hasn't even bothered to answer the last few..."

 Dr. Hoshi frowned. "Well, have you considered monetary compensation?"

 "I hadn't, err... Actually, I think I can massage the testing budget to
accommodate an honorarium of maybe, oh, let's see... a hundred thousand
yen?"

 "Very good. Let me know how it turns out, won't you?"

 Professor Ohta nodded and left the screening room, visions of  Nobel Prizes
dancing in his head, leaving his Chairwoman to review the footage.

 She tapped a manicured fingernail against her teeth as she pondered the
mystery in front of her. "I'm intimately familiar with every form of
photonic emission known to science, yet whatever it is you're producing with
that "Moko Takabisha" of yours..."

 "What _are_ you, Ranma Saotome?"

* * *

 Space Pirates Productions Presents:

 A fanfic by Dave Menard

 "WHEN TITANS CLASH" or: "A Whole Buncha Bizarrely Powerful Teenagers Beat
The Holy Hell Outta Each Other For Inadequate Reasons... And YOU Decide the
Outcome!"

 A Salute to Comic-Book Crossovers

 Ranma 1/2 characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi / Kitty Films / Shogakukan
 DC Comics characters copyright AOL-Time-Warner.

* * *

 "Aw, man," Ranma Saotome groaned as he examined the latest missive from
S.T.A.R. Labs. "Don't these morons know the meanin' of the word 'no'?"

 The exclamation drew Nabiki's eyes away from the Nikkei Index scroll by on
CNN-Japan. "What's that you've got there, Ranma?" she asked around a
mouthful of shrimp chips.

 "Ah, it's just these numbskulls again. For a buncha scientists, they're
pretty dense." He shook the letter in disgust. "Like I don't know why they
wanna have me in fer testin'. Ain't no way I'm gonna spend even a _day_
bein' poked an' prodded by a buncha eggheads who wanna figure out how my
curse works."

 "How do you know that's what they want?"

 "Tsk. Like it could be anything else? Lissen ta this: 'Mr. Saotome, we
would relish the opportunity to examine your' quote 'special gift' unquote
'under laboratory conditions, and are willing to pay you the sum of  one
hundred thousand yen for the privilege.' Shyeah, right. Like any amount'a
cash is enough ta put up with that kinda humiliation," he spat with a note
of finality. "Forget it." With a snort, he crumpled up the letter and tossed
it over his shoulder into the wastebasket and stomped off.

 "One hundred thousand yen, eh?" Nabiki said softly to herself, then shook
her head. "Selling your own brother-in-law for _lab experiments_? Nabiki,
you ought to be ashamed of yourself." She resolutely turned away from the
wastebasket and returned to tracking the Nikkei. Ever since the wedding
debacle she had been trying to go cold turkey on the moneygrubbing. It
wasn't good for her anymore.

 "One hundred thou-sand..." a whispery voice called from the wastebasket.

 "I'm not listen-ing," Nabiki sang. "There are _some_ things I won't stoop
to for money."

 "One hundred thousand ye-en..." the little voice cooed.

 Soun and Genma peered around the shoji door that separated the porch from
the living room, blinking in astonishment at the sight of the middle Tendo
daughter covering her ears and dancing around in a circle, singing
"Lalalalalalalalalalala... I'm not listening to the wastebasket,
lalalalalalalala..."

 The elder statesmen of the dojo shared a confused look, then shrugged and
went back to their eternal shogi game.

 "I suppose it was only a matter of time..." Genma ventured.

 "Mm-hmm, mm-hmm," Soun nodded. Then, suddenly, he burst into tears. "My
middle daughter's gone completely bananas! Waaah!!!"

 Kasumi appeared with some nice soothing tea, (the special kind she kept on
hand for her dear father, the kind spiked with Prozac) and peace once again
reigned, however briefly.

* * *

 The phone in Professor Ohta's office rang, startling the scientist into
checking the 'yes' box on the release form for metahuman test subject
#08967, rather than the 'no way in hell' box as he'd intended. His mistake
went unnoticed as he absently tossed the paper into his outbox and picked up
the receiver.

 "Moshi-moshi, Ohta-Hakase desu."

 "Professor, I believe I have a solution to your Saotome problem," a
feminine voice purred into his ear.

 "Saotome..? Oh, yes, _Saotome_... Wait, who is this?"

 "An interested party. Now, let's say I can provide you with a way to
convince Saotome to come in for some tests. What would that be worth to
you?"

 "Worth to me? I'm afraid I don't-"

 "Let's not mince words here, Doc. You were willing to pay Saotome one
hundred thousand just to show up. I can get him to do it for free. Just send
that hundred grand my way as a finder's fee. Interested?"

 "Y-yes, very!" Ohta scrabbled for a piece of notepaper and a pen. "What
should I do?"

 "First off, you make the cashier's cheque out to Tendo Incorporated.
Secondly..."

* * *

 "You want me to WHAT? Absolutely not!"

 "But Dr. Hoshi, it's the only way Saotome will agree to come in for tests!"

 "Ridiculous! I have better things to do with my time!"

 "Well... Maybe one of your former collegues in the Justice League would..."

 Kimiko groaned and buried her face in her hands. "I sincerely doubt it."

 "Just tell them it's for science! Surely _one_ of them will agree to-"

 "FINE! Fine, I'll ask, but I'm telling you, they won't go for it..."

* * *

 Somewhere in Metropolis the following day, a phone rang. Lois Lane-Kent,
Pulitzer prize-winning journalist, answered.

 "Lane here, talk to me. Clark? No he's out. Yes, hold on..." She scrabbled
for a pen. "Go ahead. Wait a minute, you want him to _what_? Is it for
charity? For _science_? Well, I'll ask him, but somehow... No, you didn't
think so either, huh? Well, I'll pass it along. 'Bye!"

* * *

 Keystone City.

 "West residence, oh, hiya Kimiyo, long time no talk-to. Yeah, the wedding
was great, I'll run you over some pix. So, what's up?"

 Silence. Then: "You're kidding, right? A sixteen-year-old kid? No thanks,
I've got enough problems with teenagers dealing with Bart. Sorry."

 "Well, come on up to the Watchtower sometime, you've gotta meet Plastic
Man, he's _way_ funnier than Ralph..."

* * *

 New York City.

 A phone rang in a cluttered artist's studio. A jade-green glowing hand
lifted the receiver and held it to the artist's ear.

 "Listen Mark, I'll have the pages to you Wednesday, I _swear_, I... Huh?
Oh, yeah? Right, I think we met _once_, right? During the sun-eater thing?
No? Well, what can I do for you?"

 "Come out to Japan? Hell, YEAH! Is Komike on right now? That'd be so cool!
I gotta meet Shirow, d'you think you can arrange it? No, huh? Well, you know
_anyone_ in the biz? Yeah, okay, what's _he_ draw? The Dr. Light manga? No
thanks."

 A green finger pushed the disconnect button.

* * *

 Gotham City, several hundred feet beneath stately Wayne Manor.

 Ring.

 "What."

"No. Don't be ridiculous."

 Click.

* * *

 Somewhat west of San Francisco.

 "Hello, you've reached the Wonderdome. Princess Diana can't come to the
phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number..."

* * *

 JLA Watchtower, The Moon.

 "Hello, Doctor. I beg your pardon? I see... How many crates of Oreos?
Hmm... No, I'm afraid I must decline. Yes. Well, good day."

* * *

 Chicago, Illinois.

 "Y'ello? Hey, Doc, howareya? You need what? Well, I think I could be
persuaded to lay a little smack-down, Blue Beetle style..."

 "Hey! Whaddya mean you were trying to reach Hawkman?! Hello? Hell-ooo?"

* * *

  Atlantis.

 "I don't think so, Doctor. The whales'd never forgive me. Sorry."

* * *


 Happy Harbour, Michigan. (The last number on the list.)

 "Whaddya want?!"

 "Yeah, sure, I'll come frag the bastich's ass for ya, no probs. Hey, LEGGO,
BIGFOOT!"

 "Hi, who's this? Doctor _who_?  Aren't you a supervillain? Me? This is
Impulse. I dunno, I'll check with Rob. He says it's okay, so long as this is
Justice League business. It is, isn't it? Oh, it's for science? Hold on,
I'll ask. Yeah, he says it's okay. When? A week Tuesday? Okay!"


* * *

 "Mail call,"  Nabiki trilled, a smile in her voice. A nice fat envelope
from S.T.A.R. Labs addressed to Tendo Incorporated, and another one
addressed to Mr. Ranma Saotome. "Here ya go, Ranma. Enjoy!" Ranma tore open
the envelope.

 "I DON'T FREAKIN' BELIEVE THIS!! DON'T THESE BOZOS... Hold up, they're
_what_?"

 "What is it, boy?" Genma asked, peering over his son's should at the
letter.

 "These buttheads are _challengin'_ me!"

 "What? Let me see that, boy," Genma cried, snatching the letter from his
hands. "'S.T.A.R. Labs, yadda yadda yadda... 'Challenges Ranma Saotome of
the Anything-Goes-School of Martial Arts, as well as up to seven of his
chosen seconds, to a duel'?"

 "Take a look at the terms, Pop," Ranma frowned.

 "'If they should lose, Ranma Saotome shall agree to allow the scientists of
S.T.A.R. Labs to perform the following experiments outlined hereafter, yadda
yadda yadda... If he should defeat our champions S.T.A.R. Labs agrees to
cease and desist any attempts to coerce, cajole or otherwise persuade the
aforementioned Ranma Saotome to submit to the experiments outlined above.'
Seems pretty clear-cut to me, boy," Genma finished, handing the letter back.
"For the honour of the Anything-Goes School, you must accept this
challenge."

 Ranma snorted derisively. "Like these eggheads know anything about
fightin'. I ain't doin' it, it'll be a massacre."

 "Foolish boy!" Genma yelled. "How dare you treat the School's honour so
casually! We _cannot_ refuse this challenge, or _any_ challenge! Our honour
depends on it!"

 "Yeah, yeah yeah, fine. At least after I'm done pastin' 'em, maybe they'll
leave me the hell alone!"

 "What's going on?" Akane asked as she wandered in from her daily
brick-breaking exercise in the dojo, P-chan cuddled lovingly in her arms.

 "Challenge letter," Ranma muttered, handing the sheet of paper to his
fiancee. "Stupid one, too."

 Akane scanned the missive. "Wow, up to seven seconds, huh? They must really
be serious. Well, I'll be there, that's for sure."

 Ranma rolled his eyes. "Aw, hell, Akane, this is gonna be a cakewalk. I
don't need anybody's help, much less an uncute tomboy's."

 "Hey! I'm a martial artist too, y'know! I've got just as much right to
answer challenges against the Anything-Goes School as you do!"

 "Fine, whatever," Ranma groaned. "You can come, but I just _know_ it's
gonna be like beatin' up the geeks from the Chem Club. I could do it with
one arm tied behind my back!"

 P-chan squealed angrily and wriggled free of Akane's arms.

 "P-chan, wait, where are you going?" Akane called, but too late. The tiny
porker had disappeared towards the kitchen.

 Seconds later, Ryoga Hibiki appeared in a cloud of steam.

 "Ranma! How dare you insult Akane like that! I should beat you within an
inch of your life!"

 "R-ryoga?" Akane gasped in surprise. "Where did you come from?"

 The lost boy paled. "Aheh, well, you see, I was just passing by, and..."

 Akane smiled radiantly. "And you want to be one of Ranma's seconds? That's
so sweet! It's so kind of you to offer, Ryoga. He doesn't deserve a friend
like you."

 "No kiddin'," Ranma muttered. "Okay, fine. Between Porkchop here and you,
Akane, I think I ain't got nothin' ta fear from a buncha eggheads," he said
sarcastically. "Not like I'd have any trouble fightin' 'em all by myself,
y'know..."

* * *
 The Justice Cave. Happy Harbour, Michigan.

 The team was assembled, having been paged to receive their "mission
briefing". The eight heroic teens sat around their meeting table, paging
through the printouts Impulse had so thoughtfully provided.

 Robin, the Teen Wonder was unamused as he looked over the faxed info from
Dr. Light. "Wait just a minute, Bart. When I agreed to this, I was under the
impression that we were assisting Dr. Light with some kind of science
experiment. I didn't realize you meant _this_!"

 "This _has_ to be a mistake," Arrowette said to no one in particular. The
teen archer turned the printout upside down, as though it would somehow make
sense that way. "We can't be going to a foreign country just to beat up some
guy..."

 "What's the big deal?" Lil' Lobo asked around a mouth full of Slim Jims.
"We go over there, frag some ass, we catch some tentacle porn while we're
there, s'no big deal."

 "I've never been to Japan," Secret whispered as she drifted smokily above
her seat. "I suppose it might be fun."

 Internally, Wonder Girl was making plans to complete her Hello Kitty
collection, as certain items had gone missing while Artemis was living with
her and her mother. Externally, she simply shrugged. "I don't know, it looks
like it's all in good fun. What do _you_ think, Kon?"

 Superboy peered up over his shades and removed his Walkman's earbuds from
his ears. "Huh? What was that, Cassie?"

 "Forget it, we're not going," Robin declared, getting to his feet. "This
kind of thing isn't why I put on this mask."

 "Naw, ya did that so's you could prance around Gotham in spandex with yer
big bad leather-wearin' Bat-buddy."

 "Knock it off, Lil' Lobo."

 The Czarnian teen rolled his red eyes, and settled for humming the theme to
"The Ambiguously Gay Duo".

 "Anyway, we're not going," Robin finished, studiously ignoring Lobo's
musical mockery. "I'll call Dr. Light and send our regrets."

 "Aww..." Bart Allen, the Fastest Boy Alive pouted. "I wanted to go to
Japan. I hear all the people over there look like me!"

 His teammates didn't facefault, but only because that strange and mystic
Oriental art is not taught to westerners, not even the sidekicks of the
world's greatest superheroes.

 Finally, Wonder Girl gave in to the urge. "What the heck are you talking
about, speedy?"

 Bart, a.k.a. Impulse disappeared in a flash (whoops, pun!) only to reappear
laden down with tapes bearing the blue and yellow sigil of Big Box Video.
With apparent disregard for physics, he inserted several into to the Justice
Monitor video system. Shortly, images of ridiculously big-haired, round-eyed
cartoon characters began to parade across the screens in glorious dolby
surround.

 "Pikachu, I choose you!"

 "Kamehame HA!"

 "No, Ryoko! Don't touch me there!"

 "DARLING NO BAKA! ZAKZAKZAKZAK!"

 "Moon Princess Halation!"

 Sadly, the ancient Oriental art of sweatdropping isn't taught to westerners
either, else the Young Justice team would have been doing it like crazy.

 "Err, yeah, I guess so..." Superboy shrugged.

 "..." Robin simply hung his head and tried to imagine he was back in Gotham
being beaten up by Bane. It would have been easier to take.

 "Ooh, I love this one," Secret cooed with glee, entranced by the pretty
sailor-suited warriors of love and justice. "Cassie, this one looks just
like you!"

 "She does not!" Wonder Girl yelped, surreptitiously letting her blonde hair
out of her twin ponytails.

 "Er, Bart?" Arrowette gently placed her hand on the young speedster's
shoulder. "You _do_ know that these are just cartoons, right?"

 "Hey, didja get any Urotsukidoji?" Lil' Lobo asked, digging through the
piles of videotapes.

 "I don't care! I wanna go to Japan! Max already said I could an'
everything! Heck, I even told Carol I'd bring her back a souvenir!"

 "Bart, no. You know this is wrong," Robin spoke with finality. "You guys
elected me team leader 'cause you trusted me to make the decisions, right?
Well, I'm making one. Young Justice will not go to Japan."

 "Hell, I didn't vote for ya," Lobo called from where he was watching
animated schoolgirls at the mercy of improbably-large generative organs
while Secret stared, too horrified to look away.

 "Shut up, Lobo, " the rest of the team chorused.

 "Aww, c'mon Rob," Bart pleaded. "Please?"

 "No."

 "Please?"

 "No."

 "Please?"

 "No."

 "Please?"

 "No."

 "Please?"

 "No."

 "Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease-"

 "All right!"

* * *

 "Ranchan, hey, wait up Ranchan," Ukyo called as she jogged up to join Ranma
and Akane at the school gates. "I hear you need a second for your fight this
afternoon!"

 Ranma rolled his eyes. "Lemme guess. You heard from Nabiki, right?" Ukyo
nodded, earning a groan from Ranma. "I don't _need_ any seconds, the letter
just said I could bring up to seven if I _wanted_. S'bad enough I gotta be
saddled with Pig-boy and Gorilla-girl here-" He ducked as Akane swung her
bookbag at his head, "I don't need no more 'help'."

 "Aw, Ranma-honey," Ukyo smiled cutely. "What kind of fiancee would I be if
I didn't stand by my man in his time of need? You can count on me, sugar!"

 "Great, just great," Ranma sighed as the okonomiyaki chef snuggled up to
him in plain sight of Akane, who was visibly smouldering. "I _so_ needed
this..."

 A cheery "Nihao!" was heard, and suddenly the pigtailed martial artist
found his head under the front tire of an Amazon-ridden bicycle. Not for the
first time, Ranma wondered if 'Nihao' didn't _really_ mean 'look out below'.

 "Shampoo bring Airen too-too delicious lunch," the violet-tressed Amazon
intoned seriously. "It ancient 3000-year-old recipe for stanim- stamim-
stummin-"

 "Stamina?" Akane asked, monotone.

 "Mm-hmm! That right, Pervert-Girl! Shampoo make especially for Airen who
fight challenge today!"

 "At least you don't wanna join in..." Ranma groaned from beneath the tire.

 "Aiyah! Shampoo happy to help Airen fight challenge. Have but to ask!"

 "I ain't askin'!"

 "Is okay, Shampoo help anyways."

 "Groan..."

 "Well, that makes four," Akane counted. "You may as well ask Mousse, too.
He's right over there," she pointed. Sure enough-

 "SAOTOME! How dare you refuse to eat the meal Shampoo made for you with her
loving hands! You dog! DIE!"

 Then, suddenly, from the schoolyard-

 "SAOTOME, YOU WRETCH! How DARE you embroil the fair Akane Tendo in some
sordid duel with mere scientists! I shall smite you with the wrath of heaven
itself!!"

 And-

 "DAMN YOU, RANMA! Trying to lose me before the big fight, eh? I'll teach
you to toy with Ryoga Hibiki!!

 "AWRIGHT, THAT'S IT!" Ranma yelled, lunging to his feet. Mayhem ensued.

* * *

 High above the Pacific Ocean, the teenage superteam known as Young Justice
were packed into the Super-Cycle, a New Genesis-made vehicle that had taken
a liking to the kids. As usual, Robin drove, Lil' Lobo backseat-drove,
Impulse played five different Gameboys at once, Arrowette chatted with
Secret and Superboy flew alongside completely oblivious to the fact that
Wonder Girl was making goo-goo eyes at him.

 Arrowette tapped Robin on the shoulder. "Um, Robin? Suzie and I were
talking, and it occurred to us... Does anyone here speak Japanese?"

 The Super-Cycle audibly screeched to a halt in mid-air, spilling half the
team ass-over-teakettle in their seats.

 "You think of this now?" The teen wonder almost growled.

 "Um, sorry?"

 "In answer to your question, yes, _I_ speak Japanese," Robin stated firmly.
"It was required learning so that I could study under the great martial arts
masters of the orient-"

 "Oh, _here_ we go..." Superboy rolled his eyes.

 "Hell, I can speak any Earth lingo ya want," Lobo chimed in. "It ain't like
we're talkin' somethin' tricky like interlac or somethin'. Just speak real
slow and real loud, an' anyone can unnerstand ya."

 "Anyone else?" Secret asked.

Bart looked up from Supersonic Mario Planet. "Hey Rob, do you have a
Japanese-English dictionary handy?"

 No, but the 'Cycle did. Robin handed the volume over to Bart with a puzzled
look, then watched in amazement as the teen speedster flipped through the
pages in the blink of an eye. "Okay, got it," Bart said, handing the book
back and returning to his games.

 "Kon? Do you speak Japanese?" Wonder Girl asked the Metropolis Kid.

Superboy shrugged. "I know a few words from back when I lived in Hawaii, but
not enough to get by..." He turned to Robin. "Why don't you just pass out
the Baby Boxes? They do translation."

"D'oh!" Robin cursed, swatting himself in the forehead. He looked sheepish.
"Nobody tell Batman about this, okay?"

* * *

 When the dust cleared, Ranma stood, panting, as Kuno attempted to extract
his head from a hole in the concrete wall. Ryoga was clambering unsteadily
to his feet, and Mousse was being beat about the head with a takeout box by
an irate Shampoo, while Ukyo and Akane recoiled, their hands in warding
positions.

 "I don't need no HELP! Got it?!" Ranma hollered. "It's just a bunch'a
scrawny geek scientists, nothin' ta worry about!

 That's when the Super-Cycle showed up.

 The entire Furinkan student body stood agog as honest-to-Kami, real-life
Superheroes arrived in Nerima.

 "Yo," Superboy called, flying down to hover about a foot off the ground in
front of the startled martial artists. "Konnichiwa. Which one'a you guys is
Ranma Saotome?"

 As one, every student pointed to Ranma, who simply swallowed hard.

 "Uh, me?"

 "Cool. I'm Superboy. Nice ta meetcha." The Teen of Steel pumped Ranma's
hand enthusiastically then turned his eye to the three fiancees. He grinned
rakishly and gazed at them over his sunglasses. "Hel-lo, ladies."

 Akane, Ukyo and Shampoo blushed. Hard. Superboy grinned. Ranma, Ryoga,
Mousse and Kuno glared.

 "It's _him_," whispered a nearby Sayuri to her companion Yuka. "It's really
_him_! Gods, he's even cuter in person..."

 It was a good thing Superboy's stable of powers didn't included
super-hearing, as his already titanic ego would have swelled even further.
The rest of Young justice disembarked the Super-Cycle to cheers and
applause. Arrowette and Wonder Gril took a moment to wave to the crowd,
Impulse was a blur as he sped around investigating everything like a curious
puppy, Lil' Lobo spat and grabbed his crotch, while Robin looked for some
all-concealing shadows in which to conceal himself. No joy. With a sigh, he
approached Superboy and the Nerimans.

 "This him?" he asked the Metropolis Kid, who pulled himself away from aking
eyes at the ladies long enough to nod. "Good. I take it you agree to the
terms of the challenge, Saotome-san?" the Boy Wonder asked.

 "Yer damn right I do," Ranma growled, splitting the glare between Robin and
Superboy. "Anytime you spandex-wearin' punks're ready."

 "We're his seconds," Akane jumped in with both feet. "Me, the two girls Mr.
Macho there is making eyes at, the guy with the glasses, the guy with the
bokken, and the guy with the umbrella."

 "Fair enough," Robin nodded. "Let's get this over with before the media
shows up."

 "Hold it! HO-OLD everything," A voice called from amidst the crowd of
students. Nabiki emerged, smirking her slyest smirk. "Let's make this fair,
shall we? Since this is a duel, you should all draw straws to determine who
fights who. No one interferes in anyone else's battle, okay?"

 Robin tapped a gloved finger against his chin. "I suppose. All right, then.
If you agree, Saotome-san?"

 Ranma practically snarled his assent. "Just get on with it!"

 The two groups gathered 'round and drew straws. When all was said and done,
it broke down as follows:

Ranma Vs. Impulse
Akane Vs. Secret
Kuno Vs. Robin
Ukyo Vs. Arrowette
Mousse Vs. Superboy
Shampoo Vs. Wonder Girl
Ryoga Vs. Lil' Lobo

 The opponents faced each other across the centre line of the Furinkan
soccer field. Nabiki made sure that her henchwomen were circulating amongst
the growing crowd collecting bets on the outcome. No matter which side won,
Nabiki knew she'd make a fortune. Hometown heroes versus Junior Justice
Leaguers. It was a bookmaker's dream come true!

 Principal Kuno, lured from his Tiki hut by the promise of seeing his hero
Superboy in person, agreed to referee. He mosied out onto the field,
grinning like an idiot, which he was.

 "All righty keiki, dis' gonna be a fair fight, dig? No-boddy be interferin'
in no-boddy else fight, or dey gonna gets a haircut, dig?" He brandished his
shears gleefully, fully expecting to be able to add some celebrity hair to
his collection. That Impulse boy ALONE... "Now, when de Big Kahuna here
coun' ta t'ree, you'sa come out swinging!"

 "One!"

 "Two!"

 "T'ree!"

 FIGHT!

* * *

 Here's the fun audience participation bit. Write me (privately) and tell me
who you think would win each fight and why, assuming all goes according to
the rules. I'll tally up the votes and post them next week along with the
conclusion of the story!! Cool, ne? Just like Marvel vs. DC, or "Death in
the Family"! Remember, send your guesses/votes via PRIVATE E-MAIL, do NOT
spam the list!

 Any C+C NOT regarding the fight results, please feel free to post to the
list, that's what it's there for.

 For those of you not familiar with Young Justice and their
abilities/personalities. I attach the following mini dossier:

Young Justice Dossier:

This is a slightly off-continuity version of Young Justice, as this lineup
no longer reflects the current status of the team. For instance, Arrowette
and Lil' Lobo were never active members of YJ at the same time, nor does YJ
make their HQ in the Justice Cave any longer. Still, it's my fave lineup, so
there you go. The stats on these characters are about six months to a year
old, and don't reflect any changes or power-ups/power-downs they've gone
through since then. These versions are the ones I'm working with.

Superboy: Teenaged pseudo-clone of Superman. Possesses powers of flight,
invulnerability to impact (not energy) and "Tactile Telekinesis" allowing
him to lift and/or move anything he is touching (simulates super-strength)
Cocky, showboating personality, but a good kid at heart. Courageous and
sticks up for his friends and those weaker than himself. Considers himself
an ace with the ladies, but is completely unaware of the massive crush
Wonder Girl has on him. A.K.A. Kon-El to his friends (Anagram of clone, more
or less.) His personality is almost identical to Ranma's minus the
occasional cruelty Ranma has shown himself capable of, only he's very aware
(and enjoys the attention of) the opposite sex.

Wonder Girl: Teenage "sidekick" to Wonder Woman, real name Cassandra
Sandsmark. Blonde, petite amazon-in-training gifted with Wonder Woman level
strength and the power of flight by Zeus, the Olympian deity. A real team
player, she and Arrowette are good friends, although Cassie is quietly
jealous of her teammate's more abundant "assets". Has a huge crush on
Superboy, who is completely oblivious to the depth of her interest. She also
has a fairly short temper, and rarely has patience for Impulse's
foolishness, even though she does count him as one of her best friends.

Robin: Third "Boy Wonder" to partner with Batman. Real name Timothy Drake.
Robin possesses a keen intellect and excellent physical conditioning, as
well as razor-sharp reflexes and the best martial arts training that Batman
and several others could give. Not as acrobatic as the Dick Grayson Robin,
(now Nightwing) and nowhere near as headstrong as the Jason Todd Robin, (now
dead) Tim idolizes Dick and is living out his childhood dream of fighting
crime alongside the Caped Crusader. His uniform is also flexible body
armour, the "R" on his chest is really a shuriken, he wears a collapsible Bo
staff on his belt and has a utility belt full of a vast array of bat-toys.
He is currently the focus of a romantic triangle between Secret and the
Spoiler, a Gotham vigilante who is the daughter of the Cluemaster.

Secret: Enigmatic, waifish girl apparently composed entirely of smoke. She
has a sweet disposition (generally) and is usually very shy. In anime terms,
think of her like a Caucasian Hotaru Tomoe. Like Hotaru, she has a hidden
dark side, that manifests in occasional dangerous rages. In addition to her
insubstantiality, Secret can teleport, cast illusions, and apparently cast
others into a kind of smoky limbo from which there is apparently no escape.
She has a huge crush on Robin, and he is aware of this. While careful not to
hurt her feelings, he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to return them,
either.

Impulse: the Fastest Boy Alive, Bart Allen is the timelost grandson of Barry
Allen, the Silver Age Flash. Born in the 30th Century and raised in a VR
tank to compensate for his accelerated growth, Bart looks at the whole world
as though it is a game. While he is in theory the sidekick of his "cousin"
Wally West, the current Flash, Bart is in reality mentored by Max Mercury,
the Zen Master of Speed. Bart and Wally do _not_ get along well. Bart is a
true innocent, and his maturity level is far beneath his apparent years.
This is beginning to change somewhat recently, as he has been discovering
romantic feelings for his friend Carol Bucklen. In anime terms, Bart can be
compared to Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tiverusky the 4th, in that they both have
a very happy, and very skewed, outlook on life.

Arrowette: Daughter of the original Arrowette, an also-ran sidekick to the
Silver Age Green Arrow. Armed with a multitude of gimmick arrows and
Olympic-level accuracy with the bow, Arrowette is a formidable utility
infielder for the YJ team. Her closest friends on the team are Wonder Girl
and Impulse, whom she has dated once or twice, but not seriously. "Cissie
King-Jones" to her friends, Arrowette could be played in a movie by Britney
Spears. She has Hollywood good looks, but mercifully doesn't flaunt them.
She takes her archery _very_ seriously, as she uses her success in the
superheroing field to show up her mother, with whom she has an adversarial
relationship.

Lil' Lobo: Once the interstellar bounty hunter Lobo (his name means 'he who
rips out your entrails and eats them' in Khundish), Lobo was magically
youthened by Klarion the Witch Boy in the Sins of Youth crossover. Now
physically around sixteen Earth-years of age, Lil' Lobo is not as
psychopathically homicidal as his adult self was. He's merely violent and
antisocial. In anime terms, think of him as a reformed Piccolo with a
raunchy sense of humour. Lobo is a Czarnian, the last member of a race that
reproduces asexually by cloning themselves. Every drop of blood spilt by a
Czarnian grows in seconds into an identical duplicate of themselves. This is
a bad thing, as Czarnians have (or at least Lobo has) gone toe-to-toe with
Kryptonians without breaking a sweat. Lobo is nigh-invulnerable,
superhumanly strong, and enjoys a good brawl.

* * *

There ya go, you've got more info than Nabiki, even! Send me your votes!!!!!

Dave Menard

"You're the cutest of the Scoobies,
With your lips as red as rubies,
and your firm and supple... warm embrace!"
-Xander, BTVS "Once More With Feeling"

"Dawn's in danger? Oh. it must be Tuesday."
-Buffy

	     .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'