<warning:  some of my comments mention stuff that could be considered
spoilers, even though the story itself didn't really contain any.  nothing
big, but...>

heh... this was just wrong on so many levels.  ^_^;

i skipped over the lemon scene (need to take a piss before i jerk off and go
to sleep) so i dunno how that was, but the rest was okay... really rushed,
though.  also, you don't really go much in-depth as far as the stuff with
kirika goes.  why is she in japan, is she on a job?  where is mirielle?
where in the story does this occur?  was nabiki contacting soldats?  i would
expect that they would still be keeping an eye on her, they do all
throughout the series, why would they stop?

and why would they NOT dial *69 or do some other method of finding out where
nabiki was calling from, in order to get to her immediately and find kirika
faster?  or at least track her down when she fails to show up for the
meeting?  the only thing i can come up with to explain this is that they
already knew where kirika was (even though they didn't send more men to kill
her--perhaps this is during the trials to become noir, so they aren't really
serious?) and were only playing along with nabiki in order to use her for
something else.

where is genma?  where is ukyou?  neither of them seem to be present, or if
they were, i completely missed their being there (which indicates that they
didn't have big enough parts, imo, since they should, realistically, be an
issue).

the bit at the end, with ryouga getting run over by wild horses, was nice, i
suppose.  a cool bit of irony. :)

not a bad fic, but it could have been better if it wasn't so obvious that
you didn't feel like spending much time on it.  would make an excellent
one-shot if you fleshed it out, added a lot of details and took a bit more
time to show ranma and kirika's relationship, as well as a bit of the noir
world coming around to cause the two of them problems... the way it is now,
however, it's hard to really get much out of the story, because there just
isn't much to it.

oh well...

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'MMM OFF TO READ THE LEMON, THE WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL LEMON!
BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE OF THE WONDERFUL THINGS IT DOES!"

*coughs*

i think i'll stop there.

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