I'm a creep
by Finmagik
Disclaimer: This song is owned by Radiohead and Ramna
1/2 is owned by Rumkio Takahashi Viz Video etc etc.
Warnings: POV, Angst, Dark, Horror.
Rating: R.
~~~~~
"Akane, my goddess." I sighed. I held pictures of her
in his shaking hands, pictures taken by myself. Even
pictures of her, made me shake.
I never bought anything
by Nabiki no... never. The school grounds where empty
and it was dark out.
I still knew every patch of ground her feet touched.
She had been here. She
was so strong, so beautiful, with her kind dark brown
eyes.
I had always known she would never be mine. I could
never face her. Never bring her down to my hell.
But still the thought haunted me. I walked off the
school grounds and trudged through the local cemetery,
my only refuge. No one came here at night.
"What woman would me anyways?" I mumbled.
Behind me the dead leaves rustled and I swore I heard
a woman's throaty chuckle. I turned around. Nothing.
Darkness. The wind was swirling the leaves and a dog
was howling.
~~~~~~~~~~~
When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye.
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry.
You float like a feather,
in a beautiful world
I wish I was special,
you're so very special.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I walked the home, in the darkness, through the school
grounds.
Acutely aware of what I was. A nothing, not worthy to
stand in her shadow.
Not worthy to tread the same ground she did. I
didn't even belong going to the
same school as she did. "I don't belong here...." I
murmured.
Then I heard foot steps again. I turned around
nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was home again, my parents were both working late,
so this was as good a time as any.
I was in the bathroom, already, but still dressed. I
rolled up my sleeves. I looked at my arms: pallid,
scrawny arms. Already crisscrossed with scars, and
scratches, from times when I almost but didn't go
deep enough, the lost the nerve, or just cut myself to
feel something other then this darkness in my soul.
~~~~~~~~~~
I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took off my shirt, I looked at himself in the
mirror: dark rings under his eyes, a face that looked
like a starving child's, those horrid eyes like empty
sockets. And the rest of me: flesh-less body with ribs
jutting out from odd angles, skin as pale as a drowned
corpses. I was hideous. I'd never be worthy of
her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want a perfect body,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not to mention those thoughts I had of her, while I
loved her. Those thought weren't love. I had those
dreaded thoughts. Impure thoughts, products of my
deranged mind. My filthy soul. I was failure at
everything. She was to good for me. To good.
~~~~~~~~
I want a perfect soul.
~~~~~~~
I found the razor blade and drew it hard, and deep
across my wrists. The blood spurted out then started
to flow. So much of it. I sank to my knees, I was
dying this was it. Would she care? Would she cry?
Feh,I doubted it. I was closing my eyes, when I saw
her, a woman bend over my wrists, lapping up
my blood. I closed my eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want you to notice,
when I'm not around.
You're so very special,
I wish I was special.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I awoke the was in darkness, I was naked. I was
awake?
"Nani?" I whispered. I looked around, I was in a cave.
"Am I in hell? Or am I alive?"
"You're not in hell, little one," A deep throaty
female cackled. "But you're not alive either."
I sat up, I looked around. There was standing in the
cave, a woman dressed in black, tall and slender as
reed with black hair, a very beautiful woman.
"Who are you? What I am doing here? What's happened to
me?" I asked.
"You have been chosen, by me to partake in immortal
life, I find you amusing." She said.
"Immortal life?" I wondered.
"Look in the pool of water by you're feet," She
replied.
There was nothing there, empty, just water no me.
I stumbled back. Shocked.
"'I-I-I'm a vampire, now!?" I exclaimed.
"Yes, one the chosen immortal undead who preys on the
chattle known as humans, from the shadows. You have
always liked the shadows Hikaru, have you
not?" She cocked her head to the side in mock
questioning fashion.
I knew it now. I could feel the power, going through
his veins, it hadn't been here before. Why hadn't she
just let me die before? This unnatural power. I
was truly a monster now. One of the damned. I
shouldn't even be walking now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?.
I don't belong here
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was some nights later. When I watched through
Akane's window, she was in her room, reading. My only
pleasure then was watching her. Everyone else
was gone, off doing something else. Because of my
wretched condition, I could only watch her now.
Watch her, with that unholy hunger, burning inside me.
A monster, one the damned. That's what I was. What I
am. My foot made, a misstep, a trip. I gave a
short exclaination, in surprise. I shouldn't have. She
looked up. Right at the window. I turned, I hid. Then
I stumbled again, off the roof, I fell. Hitting the
koi
pond, sinking under the water. With a solid splash. I
got out, soaking. I was hoping, she didn't hear. But
there she was standing in the doorway, clutching
her pet pig.
"Who are you and why where spying on me?!" She
demanded. She looked so cute when she was mad.
"Gomen nasai, I will get going." I hid my face,
trying to go away.
"I can't allow you to go off all wet," She put her
hand on my shoulder. "
She looked at me. Right in the eyes, I felt he
hunger rise."Oh, you're Hikaru Gosunkugi, you've
finally came back, where have you been!? You're
parents
have been so worried! And you're skin is so cold."
She knew about me! She cared! I was in heaven, for a
minute, but the feeling of my skin my cold dead skin
should be a giveaway. She help me into the
house.
The hunger was getting stronger.
"Akane-I-I...." I was trying to say to leave me. But I
was so hungry. I wanted her so much.
And then it happened. She saw the fangs, she tired to
fight, so did the pig. I pushed it aside. Then she
began to run and I chased her, out into the street,
the
dark silent streets. I never moved so fast in my life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She's running out the door,
she's running,
she run, run, run, run, run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LET ME GO!" SHE Screamed. She struggled, hotly in my
arms, I held her close. It was no good for her to
fight back One the dark gifts, was inhuman
strength. I wanted to let her go, I so did. I was
about to.
~~~~~~~~~
Whatever makes you happy,
whatever you want.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I heard that voice behind me:
"Kill her, kill the bitch,"
IT was the voice of the that woman, my mistress. The
one who made me.
"You're worth ten of her kind."
"NO!" I Shouted I was angry. Angry at THAT woman, for
making me And I was so hungry. Then everything just
seemed to go red. Blurring my
vision. I could hear women screaming, and dogs
barking. When it cleared... I found... I found....
Akane was dead. Dead in my arms, warm blood at my
lips. Her body was limp, broken. In my arms. And my
Mistress, was injured. But laughing
hysterically
Akane was dead. But no! It wouldn't happen! It
wouldn't.
That bitch made me murder the one person I care most
about in the world!
That bitch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
So Now, I've done it. I had to. I couldn't leave her
their dead and broken. I fed her my own blood, and
made her one of us. But I knew it wasn't the girl, I
loved as soon as her eyes, lit up. Those dark brown
eyes, were hollow, soulless evil. It was just a demon
with body and memories of my beloved Akane.
So now I watch from above, on a rooftop. There's
Saotome. He's walking into the alley.
He sees Akane. He's talking to her. She rushes up to
hold him. He's in her arms, shocked that's she's
holding him. and more shock as he feels her fangs in
his neck.
Now... now... I can't watch....
I can't... I don't want to be here at all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.
~Owari/Fin~
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