Juuhachigou: the curse


Why do I have to be immortal?

It's Gero's last hurrah. He may be dead, yet his shadow remains, darkening
my so-called life. I don't want this. What I want is to be with them, my
family.

My first real tears fell the day I put them to sleep, as I watched the
cooling liquids freeze their bodies within the glass. I am human once more
with an artificially enhanced body that will neither grow old nor tired,
unlike my heart, which is now both.

I should have asked Bulma to just turn me off. I don't know how much longer
I can stand this existence: watching and waiting for my husband and child to
waken. They are my life and without them I feel so empty. All I can do is
carry on until the day we can be reunited... though I don't know how many
centuries of this torment I can take.

I remember the day Bulma-san called, asking Klylyn and I to come meet with
her at Capsule Corporation. She was in hysterics, a sobbing mess of hot
tears and flushed cheeks upon our arrival. Not knowing the situation, I had
thought her foolish for carrying on so. Now I... I understand. I wish I had
appreciated her friendship more, while there was still time. Bulma was a
true friend and I'm sorry for blaming her afterwards, even if she never knew
how I've hated her in my moments of weakness.

Juunanagou says it is unhealthy to bide my time staring at my beloved. But
what else can I do? He tells me the world is ours now, just him and me...
forgetting perhaps a handful survivors, and, of course, the enemy. I believe
he is trying to cheer my war-torn spirits, and I thank him for that.
However... I just cannot go back to the way things were when we were first
reborn. I am not a machine... not anymore.

My brother is fortunate in a way... He has not yet reclaimed his humanity.
He doesn't have a heart to break, it seems. So, over the centuries, he
carries on without a care for those I yearn for or the loss of our world.

At times I envy him.

If only Klylyn could see me now. I'm not sure whether he'd laugh or
cry--I'll actually admit to my humanity, what I know he had always hoped
for. It's a shame it took this tragedy for me to come around and truly see.
Their loss was the final blow to break the damn... now I'm finally free to
fully feel my emotions. Though, mostly these days I'm sad, lonely, and mad
at the cruel world as I await his awakening. At least he has always known
that I do love him.

As I look upon them, I often think of what it would be like to feel my
husband and daughter in my arms once more. It's a good thing Klylyn is
strong as he is, I'd probably squeeze the life out of him. And Marron... how
nice it will be to have her company again. Human as she is, my daughter has
always understood me and... she knows I would do anything for her. Even if
it meant I had to stay here and wait a couple thousand years. For her happy
smile I'd move mountains.

"Why did you not join them, if you are to be so miserable, sister?"

Juunanagou, my twin--what he does not understand about the human race is
almost unbelievable. To think we were once the same? As I cried there on his
shoulder, he did not know how to comfort me. The look of bewilderment upon
his stiff, young face, if the circumstances were different, would have been
almost comical. When I hugged him tight, he patted my back lightly and said
perplexedly, "There, there..." as he had once seen an actor do on the After
School Special. "There, there... my sister.."

I couldn't be frozen. There was not a choice in the matter. That's why Bulma
was in hysterics... She failed a friend and could do nothing to help me. She
was not even completely sure that the cryogenic process would work for
ordinary humans, but this was their best chance. The positronic matrix that
is my mind would not survive the deep cold and... the rest of what she said
is lost on me. I wasn't quite listening as my thoughts turned inwards and I
asked myself... 'Could I condemn myself to centuries of hell?'

For my family... I'll do anything. So I am.

I'll continue to live here, at Kami House, with my brother as we watch and
wait. Though, I don't think Juunanagou will last here that long--perhaps
another century or two while the world heals... But, for now, we can keep
each other company as my family sleeps beneath the cold glass and hope for a
better future to come.

~*Jari*~

Notes: This fic stands on it's own, but the events within are linked to my
"This World I Wander" story arc.  If you've missed it--you can find my
fictions archived at:  http://www.dbzstyle.org

Jari Son 2001
DBZ copyright to BIRD STUDIO/SHUEISHA, TOEI ANIMATION
and licensed by FUNImation Productions, Inc.



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