And finally getting to the second half:

Used most of your grammar comments, as always.

Heero's senses as the smell of gunpowder and blood, but despite what
some
contended, he did possess some male instincts, and the knowledge of
having
such power between his legs comforted him in ways women would never
understand.

$Heh.  Cute.

It's a guy thing. Women can't understand. Just ask Tim Allen ^_^

Now that he was up close to the sizable bed of plants, Heero understood
what
had happened. A series of small holes were spread throughout the garden,
dug
out from below. They were too small to have been created by midget
commandos

$I dunno, them midget commandos can be pretty sneaky.

But they don't know how to shrink yet.

A busy little pest had inflicted casualties upon Heero's home -even if
they
were only plants, they were part of the family- and those that would
harm
anything under his protection would soon meet a dismal end of their own.

Heero smiled.

$I have to admit, I didn't really see this coming.

Glad to keep you on your toes. I don't like being completely predictible.

later with a quick double tap to the head. While many would think it a
waste
of bullets to use two instead of one, Heero would take no chances. It
never
paid to take chances.

$The trouble with complete annihilation is that you're never quite sure
where all the bodies are buried.

But as long as they'e annhilated, what difference does it make.

Well, actually Trieze hadn't come back from the dead, and there was no
indication he ever would, but Heero always held out the hope that he
would
return and try to gain vengeance by building some mobile suits and
making
life interesting again.

$Hope for the hopeless.

Heh.

 Trieze could still do it, even fifteen years later.
Just look at Lady Une. Being shot at point blank range, then having the
asteroid she was on blown into gravel, and then being propelled into
space
without a space suit for at least a little while hadn't killed her. It
hadn't even given her a scar,

$Unlike the unfortunate incident with the china.

True. Relena is the true of the terror of the series, I'm telling you.

end, as though he had grown bored about mid-way through and only chose
to
reappear long enough to allow himself to be finished off and tie up some
loose ends. He might have thought resurrecting himself clich�. And, the

$I knew you couldn't resist.

Sad, but true. You knew it before I did.

truth of the matter was, Trieze was pretty much a self-centered dick. It
would be just like him to stay dead solely to piss Heero off.

$Who's the self-centered dick?

Heero: Treize. I'm certain I mentioned that.

Amazingly, the ears went back down in the hole even faster, and all
Heero
did was cause several clods of dirt to be hurled into the air as the
shots
hit where the ears were just a split-second earlier.

$It was about here that I realized that this was going to be one of
_those_ rabbits.

I give his brief origin in a moment.

Heero
fired instantly. This time he was rewarded by the tip of the ear
suddenly
developing a half circle where the bullet had hit its target. The ears
dropped down and out of sight before a second shot could follow.

That made Heero nod in satisfaction. That should do it.

$HAH!

Well, if the rabbit hadn't been highly trained in guerrila tactics, it
probably would have. :)

 Pain was a far more effective
deterrent in animals than it was in people. With any luck, the annoying
pest
would find its way to Flanders yard, where it would...

$Become a well-fed and cherished member of the wildlife, welcome to
dine on their fruits and vegetables at will?  Not likely, methinks this
rabbit would find that boring.

True.

Jimmy stared in awe. "Wow! It's exactly like someone playing
'Whack-a-Mole',
except it's a rabbit and your father's using a gun."

$It'd make an awesome game.

True. Want to help me design one and make millions? :)

"You're not trained to take a bullet the way I am, and I have a feeling
if
you even get grazed, your parents won't let you come over any more."

$Parents can be finiky that way.  But you'd be surprised sometimes.

Hehehehe.

Jimmy hung his head low. "Yeah, you're probably right. They get paranoid
when people start firing guns around me. Can I come over again
tomorrow?"

"Sure. Remind me, and I'll show you my collection of throwing knives."

$Ah, reminds me of my misspent youth.  I showed my throwing knives to
my friends, too.

Jimmy would have thought you were cool.

dig up her bullet-proof vest, just in case she was hit by a stray
bullet. It
wouldn't kill her, of course, her father had taught her not to die when
she
got shot,

$There's training I'd like to see.

Selena: No, you wouldn't.

 but the damn things hurt like hell when they penetrated the skin.
She preferred to avoid the experience altogether, thank you very much.

"You're such a !#$%, Daddy," Selena grumbled.

$And yet you wuss out on the language.

I think it serves its purpose. People using their imagination as to what a
now eight year old would say is better than spelling it out in this case,
IMO.

shooting them down until they were little more than nubs, and still the
rabbit had seemed unfazed by the hits. Was it on PCP, or was it merely
far
tougher than the rest of its ilk?

$If I was him, I'd bet PCP.

If I wasn't the author, I would have too. :)

the
unwanted pest and expending all of his ammunition, Heero was rewarded
with a
pair of tattered pieces of black cloth attached to a 'T' of wood, left
lying
in the hole.

$Now that's clever.

He's a well trained bunny commando.

Heero stared at it, their eyes locking onto one another. The challenge
unmistakable.

$Rabbit: You're mine, bitch.

Hehehehe.

Zechs and the others went to work. After seeing Planet of the Apes,
primates
were out.

$Monkeys with high explosives, yeah, that'd be bad.  That was
remarkably astute on their part.

Hmm. You're right about that, now that you mention it.

 Dogs were too stupid to learn. Cats were too smart and refused to
learn. The rats worked out well, until they went renegade and formed
some
organization called N.I.M.H..

$There's a reference I haven't seen in a long time.

I try for the obscure ones every now and then. Not sure if everyone got it
or not, since it was an old movie.

 Slugs had that whole salt problem.

$And being brainless.

But mostly it was the salt thing.

 Eventually,
rabbits and ferrets were chosen, mostly because they were the only
animals
left to experiment with.

$No birds?  Hell, I'd think pidgeons would work great.  They like
bombing stuff anyway.

Hehehe.

that gullible. The next thing you'll tell me is that you really did
recruit
a psychotic multiple personality whacko as my aide when I was joking
about
it last week."

Everyone laughed hard at that one.

$Heh heh heh heh.  Yeah, that was a good one.

It is, when you stop and think about it. And yet, it would explain so much.

Okay, actually Zechs would not have recoiled in horror, but rather would
have laughed his fool head off at Heero having to square off against a
commando rabbit.

$Bugs would enjoy this, too.

He'd be laughing his head off.

disasters could, would end up facing off against a small mammal and it
would
be a close contest, but in a peacetime setting, it was the best opponent
Heero could hope for, pathetic as it was.

$He's toast.

Up to a point.

battle he was involved in at the time, which meant they tended to not
mock
him for very long, since corpses have a hard time doing anything outside
of
decomposing.

$And laying there.  And stinking.

Goes kind of hand in hand with decomposition, methinks.

 Of course, Heero would have a hell

of a hard time with Bernie.  You just can't keep that man down.

Hehehehe. Yeah. He would.

exterminating a bothersome pest whose existence solely consists of
eating,
crapping, and reproducing, then going to sleep and doing it over again.
What
does that tell you?"

$That he is so far outclassed it's pathetic.

Selena would agree.

"I got that pair of Colt Pythons you got me for Christmas upstairs in my
room. Just say the word and I'll be good to go."

$Nice present.

Thought they would be.

"Excellent, but I require no backup today. I want you to go ahead and
make a
homemade landmine using only an etch-a-sketch, ramen noodles, two bottle
caps, and a badminton birdie."

$Bah, the birdie makes it too easy.

A little.

"Can I use duct tape?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Anyone can make a landmine using duct tape. I want
you

$And we have here another disciple in the church of the holy roll.

Damn Straight!

the
odds were ridiculous. It would serve him right for getting cocky and
being
upstaged by an overgrown rodent.

$Lapine.  Not rodent.

Got it.

It took less than five minutes for Heero to gather the weapons he needed
for
the second round of attacks. Gun reloaded, he uncoiled the length of
garden
hose he had grabbed and held the open end of it. It was a disgustingly
simple plan and method of attack.

$Which is why it'll fail miserably.  Of course, the same applies if it
is the most complex thing this side of instructions on how to set a VCR.

Sad but true.

"I'm starting to see a pattern emerge," Heero commented.

Sure enough, five minutes later, twenty minutes became twenty-five.

"I knew it," Heero said in a flat voice full of satisfaction.

$Heh.  Nothing gets by him.

I thought it was a cute subtle one most people wouldnt' have seen coming.

What Heero didn't know was why the holes weren't filling. Surely there
was
more than enough water in them by now, but water hadn't come out of the
top
of a single one yet. How deep could the holes be?

$I'd kinda figured he was filling up his basement, really.

Nah. I need the pond to dump the mower into.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Wow, dear! You spelled Quarxxzlus on a triple word score. That means I
owe
you three more dollars. With the way you're wiping me out, you might
make me
have to work overtime. Hehehehe." Flanders snorted in laughter, as did
his
wife.

$*shudder*

I did too, and I wrote it. :)

"Yes, dearest?" came the reply.

"You know the pond out back?"

$Heh.

"No, I can't say I do."

$HAH!

"I thought so. We didn't have one earlier today, did we?"

$Very nice dialog.

Thanks. Surprised it worked as well as it did. Just using disembodied voices
like that is hard, but appeals to a somewhat minimalist writer like myself.

"A rabbit? What's it doing in the water?

$Here it comes.

 "The backstroke."

$There we go.  Funny stuff.

Thanks. That one I did telegraph. Glad it still worked.

"Hmm. A pond in the backyard? Well, I've always liked ducks," his wife
said
with the kind of carefree glee that most associated with being on a mind
altering drug.

$Endorphin junkies are so annoying.

That's what people tell me,. Then tell me to take the hint and leave. :)

"And we can invite the Peacecrafts over to fish. Good thinking, honey."
Flanders looked at the rabbit. It was now doing the butterfly, and with
a
darn good form as well. He'd have to get some lily pads to help add to
the
effect.

$Ah, a man with an eye for artistry.

Oui.

her as she was perched over her small laptop computer, hand deftly
playing
and focusing on the image displayed on the screen. Eyes still affixed to
her
work, Selena said, "Daddy, I've been reviewing your old battle footage,
specifically your fights with my deranged Uncle Zechs."

$deranged uncle, Zechs.

Actually I dropped the 'my' since she had dubbed him 'deranged Uncle Zechs'

"He's not deranged."

"Then why does he still wear that ridiculous metal helmet on his head,
the
one that covers the upper part of his face?"

$Cause he's got _style_!

Or so he likes to think.

"He says it's part of his mystique. Apparently it helps him pick up
girls. A
mix of being bishonen and mysterious apparently really turns women on."

"Yeah, right. I think it's to hide his age, since he's so much older
than
the rest of the far more bishonen Gundam pilots, who have a much bigger
fangirl base than he could ever hope to have.

$I'll second that one.

>From my cursory evalutation of WG fanbase, it does seem true.

Ah, fourth wall humor.  Seems to be working better in this fic, at
least to my eye.

Less intrusive perhaps.

 Aside from a few lemons with
Trieze, he almost never gets any. Even Quatre sees more action than
him."

$Aww, that's harsh.

But probably true.

"Selena, you're breaking through the fourth wall. Even I disapprove of
that
sort of destruction."

$Unh hunh, narrator privilege only?

For this fic anyway. :)

"And you're right about the age thing. He's getting so old and dumpy
even
Noin has been showing more interest in Une than him. Or at least she was
before the whole china incident.

$Now she recoils in horror, I take it?

Nah. She'll do that in the face of her mother's anger, though.

 Like Duo always says, there's
nothing more pathetic than seeing a flabby, aging bishonen bawling like
a
little baby about losing his looks."

$Wow, I didn't know Heero put so much stock in Duo.  This is the second
time he's quoted him.

They seemed to get along all right. Contrast in styles, which is why the end
up paired up so often, I'd wager.

"He didn't have any holes. If there were, I would have spotted them
instantly and killed him like I did everyone else."

$Heero should ask Treize about Zechs holes, where they're at, and what
to do with them.

Just plain evil.

there.
He leaves himself open around the waist after two high strikes,
anticipating
the third to be either just as high, or from the opposite direction. One
energy blade thrust coming in high at his center, and it's curtains for

$Coming in high?  Wouldn't you mean low?

Oops. Will change.

would have been irreparably shattered. I had to maintain the illusion,
to
sustain my aura of invincibility. That was the only way I could do it
without being seen as human."

$Heh, I understand the reluctance.

Except he's lying.

Selena looked at her father through wide eyes, as though seeing her
father
in a new light. "Daddy?"

$He is human, after all.  Human vanity.

Not quite. I see he had you snoockered.

fighting him. I applaud your awareness in spotting his weakness." He
looked
at her computer screen again. "By the way, just out of curiosity, did
you
find any holes in my defense?"

$Selena <crosses fingers behind her back>: Why, no daddy.  Your form is
perfect.  I know I wouldn't have any hope of beating you if we were to
fight with mobile suits against each other.

Heh. That could have been the other way of doing it.

"Yes, one."

$But she just couldn't resist gloating.

Nope. Very childlike in that respect.

"Bad enough to make the second seem like a blessing. Mom would be...
upset."

$Upset.

Heh heh, and yes, that would be bad.

Very, very bad, as we learn later.

would happen to him if he ever touched another woman in an intimate way.
He
didn't know if a rocket launcher could fit there, let alone three, but
his
wife could be inventive when she wanted to be, and he had no desire to
find
out.

$Fear the pacifists when they get riled up, because by then they know
you really deserve it.

Yep. They keep all that anger pent up until it comes breaking forth over the
dam.

"I know. It's good to see you paid attention. I look forward to meeting
you
in mobile suit combat someday. It should prove interesting," Heero said.

$He's watched her develop her fighting technique.  He probably knows of
several holes she doesn't and he's never pointed them out because of
this.

True.

Selena closed the computer. "Actually, I was done. I just wanted to rub
your
nose in your inadequacies. I'm getting a jump on becoming a teenager.

$I liked that.  Good bit of explaination.

Thanks. It just rang so true. I imagine when I have kids, they'll be the
same way.

"I'll be serving lunch in an hour," Heero informed her as he went to the
refrigerator and then the cupboards, retrieving a thick carrot and then
some
rat poison.

$They keep carrots, but don't serve them at meals?

Relena does from time to time.

sufficient amount to kill five rabbits over. Satisfied at his ingenuity,
he
proceeded to tape the top back on, masking the cut and affixing the top
securely in place.

$Oh, yeah, that'll work.

Not really, for either hunter or prey.

Entering the kitchen, which was attached to the back porch of the house,
Heero spotted a sandwich lying on a plate on the middle of the table.

$That's one badass bunny.  It probably has Devilbunny blood in it.

Oui. A disciple of the Shadowhare.

urge to shoot anything that he regarded as a potential threat. No, jelly
was
bad for him, and he would have nothing to do with it. Peanut butter was
good. Nothing exciting about that; just bland stickiness. Unless it had
nuts
in it. Nutty peanut butter was almost as bad as jelly. Only the plain,
sticky stuff for him. And only white bread as well. It was the most
bland,
and therefore the most satisfying to him, given his personality.

$That's not funny, that's what I eat.

In that case, BWHAHAHAHA!

Remarking to himself that it was nice that Selena had made his favorite
lunch for a change, Heero poured himself a glass of water, the most
efficient form of liquid which would re-hydrate him, and sat down.

$Water.  Bleagh.  Fish swim in that, you know.

You and D'Amour have much in common.

 He began
to eat half the sandwich.

$Doesn't eat much, does he?

Only half at a time.

Selena came into the room a moment later. She looked around the table,
then
at what her father was eating. "Mind if I have some?"

$Considering that he _was_ supposed to make her lunch...?

True.

"Yes. It is." Luckily, salt didn't really tantalize his tastebuds
either,
despite it being a flavor enhancer.

$It's also a vital nutrient, and the more, the better.  Sorta.

Too much of anything can be bad, though.

"I didn't make it. You did."

$Insomuch that he caused it to be made, yes.

Well, true.

Heero stopped chewing.

$And the other shoe drops in his sandwich.

Heh.

Selena looked at the window. "Daddy, why is there a rabbit standing in
the
window, laughing and waving what looks like an empty carrot around?"

$Hollow carrot.  I don't think she'd call it empty.

Good point.

It took only a moment for Heero to put two and two together. It was
coming
up four, since he was good at math.

$But it could also come up five, zero, or not applicable.  I'm NOT good
at math, but I seen some strange stuff the semester I flunked calculus.

Heh.

 "Evidently the rabbit made the sandwich,
placing a large quantity of rat poison in it. That would explain why it
tastes salty." Heero grabbed the pepper shaker resting on the table,
threw
some on the sandwich, then proceeded to take another bite. "That's
better."

$Why?  It's not like pepper neutralizes salt.  But yes, an appropriate
reaction.

Pepper is the perfect accompaniment to salt, which is why it tastes platable
now.

A strangling noise escaped from Selena as she spat out her food and
began
shouting, "Ipecac! Ipecac!"

$Heero: Bless you.  Now blow your nose and finish your lunch.

Heh. Wasn't sure how many people actually knew what Ipecac was.

"I can't see that negating the salty taste," Heero said through a
mouthful
of peanut butter and poison.

$All parental love and concern, isn't he?

Well, in this case he doesn't need to be concerned.

Heero scoffed. Actually, he said in a flat voice that was intended to be
a
scoffing tone, "Don't be silly, girl. That pitiful amount of rat poison
won't kill you. It won't even upset your stomach."

$Heh.  And the rabbit's plans backfire, and they get lunch made for
them.  *sigh*  The best laid plans of men and rabbits...

True. Rabbit ain't perfect either.

"You have a tolerance to it. A very high one. Over the years, I've been
putting increasing amounts of poison in your food. I started it when you
were a baby, using only trace amounts in the beginning and slowly
building
up to the present day. Right now you could probably eat a whole box and
the
only negative side effect might be a case of the runs."

$Or constipation, but I'll take your word for it.

I think I used constipation recently. Went the other way this time.

Her jaw nearly hit the ground. "Goddamnit! I can't believe you've been
feeding your only daughter rat poison at every meal, you !#$%^!"

$It's a pretty good call.  This way, she gets all her important
vitamins and nutrients, like that pesky brodifacoum that never seems to
make it into the % daily requirements list.

Not sure what that is..

Heero waved a warning finger in Selena's direction. "I never said I fed
you
rat poison at every meal. Nothing could be farther from the truth."

Her father's sincere demeanor relaxed Selena ever so slightly. "You
didn't?"

"Of course not. That would be absurd."

$Yeah, what if she ate the roach powder?

Heero: Immunity to that too.

"Oh."

"Sometimes I used arsenic. Other times it was cyanide. Or curare, or a
host
of others. That way you developed a well-rounded immunity to a variety
of
lethal poisons someone might try to slip you."

$And they could even accept dinner invitations from the Kunos.

This is true.

"..."
$Through

Selena growled.

$Such a loving family.

In its own way. Look at the material the WG creators left us to work with
though. :)

"Remember to lead your target slightly if its in motion."

$it's    And why would he remind her of something so basic?   But, of
course, you needed the witty dialog, which works quite well.

Correct. I just needed it to tell the reader.

"He is?"

"He wrote a book called, 'Why Heterosexuality is Overrated'."

"It isn't?"

$She has to ask?

She's still a bit young and believes much of what 'Cool Uncle Duo' might
have to say on the matter.

the few times the other Gundam pilots and I were around each other at
the
same time. I overheard Duo tell Quatre that they should go to his
quarters
to 'Grease their guns and practice firing in the hole.'

$You're a sick, twisted little man with a sick, twisted sense of humor.
I've always admired that in you.  This makes me really look forward to
finally bringing in Kagato in my main storyline.

I'm getting there. Had it saved and ready to go for the next fic to review,
though might not get to it until after Thanksgiving.

"No details! No details!" Selena covered her ears and started race out
of

$Heh heh.  started to race

I guess she's not fangirl material.  Might have been funny if she was.

Nah. Even I am not that twisted.

bite,
made a face, threw some pepper on top of the peanut butter and poison
sandwich, then proceeded to devour the rest on the way back to her room.

$Which just goes to show that she really isn't a normal person trying
to cope with an abnormal family.

No. Like the idea of going out without a pair of lockpicks and collapsible
stilleto, she has been warped to, but likes to tell herself she is normal
and everyone else is weird. She is partially right. They're only slightly
weirder than her.

I'd like to see a little

mother-daughter bonding where Relena teaches her the ways of pacifism
through violent diplomatic conduct, and how to take over the world when
she still in her teens.

Hehehehe. Cute.

$garage and

filling in all of the holes he could find, systematically herding the
rabbit
into a corner and effectively trapping him.

$Ignoring the fact that the rabbit is digging through dirt.

Shh. It's the idea that counts.

As Heero stepped between two mostly destroyed rows of peas and carrots,
the
ground beneath his foot caved in. His foot only fell six inches, but it
was
enough to cause the single sharpened stake that lay beneath the trap to
impale Heero's foot, breaking through the top of it by in inch.

$Ooh, a pungi stick trap.  Nice.

Like I said, well trained commando rabbit.

"Impressive," Heero said casually as he watched the blood flow through
the
piece of wood protruding from his appendage. He was getting soft. There
was
a time when he would never have fallen for so obvious a trap.

$From a rabbit, obvious is relative.

True.

second
part of its own plan and made its move. It burst up through a newly dug
hole
on the opposite side of the lawn mower, spared a glance to make sure
Heero
was distracted, then proceeded to go to work.

$With a large wrench, reguardless of the actual complexity and size of
the bolts.

Heh.

currently
was in contrast to how far the riding mower stood from it. No holes were
nearby, and the vermin was standing directly in line with the front of
the
mower, near the fence with next to no maneuvering room. Yes. That would
work.

$No.  That's not gonna work.

Not yet, but soon they'll hit upon the right plan.

Ed Flanders placed the boxes of lily pads he had bought on the ground
and
looked at Heero's prone form. "Hidey-ho, neighbor. Change your mind
about
the scrabble game?"

$He only does it to be annoying.

No. He's really oblivious to his behavior.

"No," Heero grunted as he rose to his feet. There was a pain coming from
his
arm.

"Looks like you've got a broken arm there, Mr. Peacecraft."

$Looks like you're master of the obvious, Ed.

Heh. True.

once
some algae grows on it, it'll be a great centerpiece to the pond and
cute
little animals will make their home on it.

$Ed: Why, did you know there's a rabbit that enjoys swimming it it?
You should see his form.

And then he's shot for colaborating with the enemy.

Hehehehe.

the little vermin ruined Heero's mission for the day, but he had
continuously outmaneuvered him and destroyed one of the last remnants
Heero
had of the joyful days of his youth.

There was only one course of action to take.

$Heero broke down and cried.

No. Even he hasn't been reduced to that... yet

Selena was on the phone, talking to one of her friends, when she saw her
father return to their home. She placed her hand over the mouthpiece and
pointed to her father's arm. "Looks like it's broken. Want me to set
it?"

$She'd probably twist it around a bit first, under the pretense of
making sure she had it in the right place.

Nah. She's not quite that evil.

"I'm having an off day," Heero offered in explanation.

$Heh.  He can, at least, admit it.

Yep.

Relena Peacecraft began speaking before she entered. "Heero, I just
wanted
to thank you for that good advice this morning. Kneeing the English
Ambassador in the groin worked. He saw things my way almost instantly."
Upon

$Pacifist my ass.

She's a pacifist most of the time.

Irritated at the interruption, Selena jerked her thumb in the direction

of
the backyard. "He's out back getting ready to blow himself up."

$Relena: Dammit, Heero, is that your solution to everything?

That would be something she said at this point, given Heero's usual
behavior.

the backdoor to the porch and looked around for her husband. Sure
enough,
she spotted him next to the garden, gratuitous explosives strapped to
his
body and detonator in hand. Her eyebrow was a blur, twitching as though
it
had a mind of its own and had taken some amphetamines.

$Excellent imagery.

Thanks. Not really working much on that in this piece.

"Yes, dear." It was odd how once he was married, his mouth would
automatically give that response at various times. The phrase came to
him as
an instinct, every bit as natural as breathing.

$And twice as important to continued life.

Oui. I know that and I'm not even married.

"Such a good husband, so supportive.

$She needs to scratch his head and give him a treat now.

Hehehehe.

misery and depredations she would have inflicted on the world had she
been
more inclined towards violence. Even Heero had limits to how far he felt
wars should be fought.

$You're a bad, bad man, DB.

Oh, most assuridly.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The rabbit aroused itself from its sleep.

$Ulp, it's screwed.  Bad guys are only invincible when the story
doesn't focus on them directly.  As soon as the focus shifts, you know
they're going to get beat.

Yep. And this time is no exception either.

the
tables on the stupid humans once again. Tormenting such an inferior
species
was terrible fun.

$Inferior species, hmph.  At least _we_ didn't spent the past few
million years getting eaten by ferrets, dogs, cats, wolves, birds,
snakes, and pretty much anything else that felt peckish.

Heh. Good point.

The rabbit placed his paw above the disguised patch of ground and pushed

Concrete.

$That's about what I would have done, if it was an option.

Relena would have agred.

...And had the twin barrels of a shotgun pointed into his face.

$Heero: Huh huh huh huh!  I got the wabbit!  I got the wabbit!

Except he really does in this case. :)

Heero gave the rabbit an approving look, which seemed odd, given the

$A flatly approving look, of course.

Added that in.

Before the rabbit could protest, Heero pulled the trigger.

$Thus proving that he really is smart when it comes to tactical
warfare.

Yep. At least at this point.

 And as long as he only pulled one, and had it loaded with

something simple and heavy, like a slug or buckshot, it really would
leave most of the meat intact.

Really? Didn't know that. Not much of a hunter myself.

completely
paved over. "So we're really going to put in a pool?"

"Yes," Heero said in confirmation

$Can't be upstaged by the Flanders's new pond, after all.

Good point.

 as he put the finishing touches on their
breakfast, making certain it was laced with the appropriate amount of
arsenic.

$Aww, he really does love his family.  One wonders if Relena knows
about the special seasoning.

She would approve, seeing it as a sign of affection, since it's coming from
Heero. ^_^

in
foreign environments." Heero snatched the knife thrown at him out of
mid-air. "It'll be good training for you. And it means less yardwork for
me." The latter was a definite plus in his book.

$But he arguably had more fun today that had had in the last week.

True.

The seven-year old looked at the food before her, completely bewildered.
"I'm not sure about this, since it's been so long since I've last seen
it,
but is this fresh meat being served at our kitchen table?"

$The freshest.

Heh

Still unable to believe her eyes, Selena said, "Not to sound ungrateful,
but
is rabbit something that's usually served  at breakfast?"

$Extra space.  And yes, it sounds good to me.  We always made it a
point to serve rabbit on easter, too.

Had that on Easter once as well. Excellent dish.

"It is now."

Seated next to her daughter, Relena said in a pleasant voice, "There is
no

$Perhaps: Relena addressed her food in a pleasant voice, "

Nah. Too grim.

Great, Selena thought, her mother was turning more weird on her too. It
figured. In a neighborhood full of a bunch of weirdoes, her parents were
the
biggest ones, right after the Flanders.

$Is good to see she keeps a sense of perspective.

That she does.

wonderful, having been broiled to perfection and with just the right
touch
of arsenic.

$He could use some cyanide and go for an almond glaze effect.

Considered that, but deemed it too obvious.

father better, tightening the bonds between the two of them until they
became inseparable.

Nahhh.

$Of course.  ^_^

Wouldn't be the same otherwise.

 Things were fine the way they were now, and deep down inside, Selena
didn't want it any other way.

$Aww, she really does love her family.  And they'll be great to have
around when she finally decides to take over the world.

Yep. She's a World Dictator in the making.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Not as satisfied as I thought I'd be with the ending, not that it's
meant to
be a huge telling climax, not against a rabbit that doesn't appear until
half-way through the fic, but it'll do. Hopefully you enjoyed.

$Quite.  Was well worth the read.  Funny, nicely sarcastic, witty
banter, and picks at Gundam Wing.  What more could you ask for?

Money.

  I kinda

liked GW, but always felt it took itself way too seriously Pacifism
sucks, kill the bastards now!  This was a nice look at a settled down
Heero.

Thought it would be a twisted enough topic involving the lovely cast of
borderline headcases that form the lineup of what at times was a pretty
silly series, IMO. But I enjoyed it enough to watch to the end and wasn't
disappointed.

Congrats if you actually know who Yahoo Serious is (poor bastards)

$I don't, actually.  And after a little questioning, I've found that
none of my friends do either.  I think I'll keep them.

Heh. Look a movie called 'Young Einstein' and you'll see what I mean.

Hey, aren't you impressed?  My response time on this, for me, was like
lightning.

Much, much faster than I. :(

So, what's next on the hit parade?  Knowing your tendancies, I'd say
another small to medium epic would be up, or maybe another Avengeing
chapter.  Then again, you haven't done a huge epic in a while, so it's
hard for me to guess.  Lemme know if you need a bit o prereading.

Probably Avenging, or at least that's what my muse seems to want to do next.
Finally chose a title, in keeping with the upcoming Lord of the Rings movie,
its title will probably be 'Ten Rings to Rule Them All'. Be a while before I
start it though, since I want to work on more backlogged fics (with yours at
the front of the line, since I stopped work on it to complete this).
Hopefully will have yours out by early next week, but you never know.

Thanks again for the gratuitous C+C. Always appreciated, and I used most of
your suggestions. Always look forward to your comments, and they never
disappoint.

D.B. Sommer



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