Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic][Noir] False Gods
From: "Shin Noir" <shinnoir@hotmail.com>
Date: 11/15/2001, 2:21 PM
To: ffml@anifics.com

SPOILER WARNING. If you haven't seen Episode 25 yet, and want to be surprised (or at least uncertain), don't read this. Without context, it's gibberish anyway. :)
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Over. All over.

I'm looking at the girl, traitor, Noir, and she doesn't
understand. Or maybe she does. How cruel.

When she came here, I was so happy. It was going just like I
knew it would. Like it had been promised.

Altena hugged her. Jealousy. That's when I think I saw this
moment. But it was okay. It had been promised too.

True Noir. Two maidens who reign over... who... death... over...
linked by a black thread of fate... linked... Noir...

I shared all my secrets with her. She was promised. My friend.
Linked by fate. Promised. I've never had a friend. I've always
wanted one. It was promised.

She was different when she came. True Noir. But not like
when we had tea. Nothing but Noir. Nothing for me. But I'm
Noir. Why wasn't there anything for me? Why was she such a
shell?

And then the Corsican came back. Stupid. Stupid. Not Noir,
blunted, Altena said she was blunted... she tried to interfere.
She did something to the girl. It was time for me to kill her.
The girl stopped me.

She really stopped me.

She cares more for the Corsican than for me.

Noir are bound. True Noir are bound by the black, Noir are
bound, True Noir, the black thread of fate, souls intertwined...

We are bound by...

They... are bound by the black thread... not me...

They are Noir. Only two. Only two bound by the black thread.

And if there can only be two, and they are two, then I am one,
not two, and they will go to the altar and perform the ritual
and be True Noir and I will stand here alone and not be Noir.
And then... and then...

No. No. I'll tell Altena... I'll tell her... she'll fix it... she always
fixes... she loves...

She loves me. She loves me.

But I'm not Noir. Will she still... she always thought I'd be
Noir...

Didn't she?

No. Altena loves... I am... loves... I'm Noir.. Altena loves.... Noir...

She won't.

She won't love me.

She loves Noir. She doesn't love Chloe. She loves Noir. Now I'm
not Noir. Now she won't love me. I always knew it. Deep down,
I always knew Altena cared only about Noir, and that's why
everything I did was to be Noir for her.

It was supposed to be me. They were supposed to love me and
I was Noir. We were Noir. Together. I never had a friend. I
don't care about Le Grand Retour. I never cared. I just want
them to love me. It was supposed to be me.

It was all a lie. Everything.

Throw away my treasure. It was a lie too.

And now I turn, because I just have one chance. If I kill the
Corsican, there will only be the girl and I. Then we'll be Noir.
Then we'll be True Noir and have tea and she'll ask if I would
like more tea and I'll say yes please and I know we won't
really but it has to be true, run, it has to be true, run...

I've never hated anyone I was going to kill until now. Love can
kill and hate can save.

Knife, hand, lunge, sta

...

She...

Black thread. It hurts. Maybe this is best. Altena knew all
along. Black thread... friend... tired... I'm... what am I...

"Noir..."

Black... friend... Altena... love... I...

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