Finally getting around to this.

Barroom Blitz
(A Shampoo 1/2 addition)

Few words o' explanation:
Actually this story takes place in the Shampoo 1/2 universe (for those who
still remember that by now ancient piece of work), however, despite the

fact

it exists in a world inspired by Rumiko Takahashi, I think it's pretty

much

an original-style work since none of the regulars, or even semi-regulars,
from the R 1/2 universe are in it. Rather it works off some of the

original

characters from the S 1/2 universe, namely several key members of the crew
of that lovely oceangoing vessel, 'The Worthless Piece Of Shit,' and maybe

a

reference or two to another author's original characters.

Does this take place after 'Shampoo 1/2' or near the end?

All comments and criticisms appreciated. You can contact me at
sommer@3rdm.net

You can find all of my fics now stored at:
http://angcobra.jumpfun.com/dbsommer.html

and at Larry F's site at:
http://lwf58.tripod.com/fan_fiction/d_b_sommer/index.html

and stuff from the last couple of years is at R+C books at
http://dbsommer.rcbooks.org

Harsh language and sexual references inside, so be warned.

Yup, that should be enough to get me to read this ^_^

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kin Lo Wang despised her job in Chun Phat's Waterfront Bar more than she
thought possible. Working in the worst dive in the seediest section of
Shanghai as a waitress/prostitute was a dead end. One of these days it was
going to get her either maimed, killed, or contracting some wonderful

Not much of an optimist, is she?

venereal disease that would end her days in misery and woe. Not that

farming

rocks her entire life and raising a family of anklebiters in the barren

So that's where those pet rocks come from...

ahead in that respect. The tips from waitressing weren't that bad, as long
as one didn't mind the groping and the fact that a lot of the tips came in
the form of gold teeth ripped out of someone's mouth.

Kin: And it's still better than farming rocks.

Still, Kin had an idle fantasy, a silly thing really. It was of some

dashing

pirate captain entering the bar, his eyes roving over the women within.

The

Heh, the description sounds like D'Amour ^_^

rogue's eyes would fall upon her, and his heart would be taken forever by
Kin's great beauty. He would sweep her off her feet and take her away from
the hellhole she was found herself stuck in. And as he carried her through
the beer-sodden exit, like a husband would his blushing bride, he would
whisper in her ear...

"Hey, sweet tits. Come on over and sit on the captain's magic lap for a

long

and thick surprise."

Perfect timing ^_^

"THERE ISN'T ENOUGH MONEY IN THE WORLD, YOU LYING BASTARD!" The only thing
Kin loathed more than her job was when her fantasies ended up compromised

by

reality.

Guess D'Amour isn't what she's looking for.  Can't understand why...

Reluctantly, her eyes fell on the table the comment had been issued from.

Of

all the scoundrels and perverts in the bar, and the place was wall-to-wall
with them, Captain D'Amour was the worst of the lot. Everyone agreed on
that. For Kin, the hatred extended beyond the norm because the first time
her eyes had fallen upon the rogue's dashing form, she had made the

mistake

of believing her fantasy had come true. D'Amour was as handsome as they
came, with bright piercing blue eyes that a woman could drown in and long,

Kin should have asked the others about D'Amour.  Then again, they were
probably too busy laughing at her ^_^

flaxen locks that made her want to run her hands through them for

eternity.

Even his style of dress was impeccable; he wore a manteau. There were
probably less than a dozen men alive that could get away with that and not
look like a prissy fop, but D'Amour could. He was the key to her freedom,

For some people, even good looks can't make up for their personality.

her dreams becoming reality at last. The charming words that spilled from
his mouth like water over falls wooed her, and she had allowed him to bed
her, free of charge.

Big mistake.

And then she discovered, in excruciating detail, his personality.

Heh

Working as a prostitute in the most depraved dive in all of Shanghai was
preferable to spending more than five minutes in the company of Captain
D'Amour. He was the most sleazy, irritating, arrogant, deluded popinjay

she

had ever met. Oh, he had offered to take her away from the bar and to his
ship, but only on the condition she have sex with him at his beck and

call.

Kin: At first I didn't think that was bad.

No money for her either,

Kin: But since we would be married, that's not a problem.

and she would have to crew on his ship, the oh, so
aptly named 'The Worthless Piece of Shit', during those times when he

didn't

feel like sleeping with her.

Kin: Well... I guess I _have_ to do some work...

He could also have sex with any other woman he
chose, while all men were off limits to her. And the clincher was when he

Kin: Wait a minute...

demanded she sign an agreement not to mention the words 'marriage' or
'commitment' in his presence, even if it didn't relate directly to him.

D'Amour's greatest nightmare is probably waking up and finding himself
married to Lao.

After offering her the copy of the contract he kept tucked in his boot,

Kin

He comes prepared ^_^

promptly kicked him in the balls and threw him out the window. The final
blow were his shouts claiming she was a "Stuck up bitch!" right up until

the

moment he struck the ground headfirst, damaging the concrete quite badly.

Poor ground.  Though it could have been worse if it was Aki who went
head-first ^_^

of it. Such fantasies were quickly reconsidered, though. It wasn't for his
sake -if he ended up burning in Hell she would be the first to get the

'sake -- if' (?)

marshmallows- but rather his compatriots. Say what one would about what a

'marshmallows --' (?)

complete asshole Captain D'Amour was, at least the members of his crew

were

better people. Well, relatively better when compared to their captain. And
more importantly, they were damn good tippers.

Compared to their captain, who didn't pay at all.

his mouth, enough had made it through to have the desired effect. Small
surprise given the twenty or so bottles of alcohol that surrounded the
table, half of which surrounded D'Amour, who appeared to be the least
inebriated of the quartet.

Big surprise there...

"I... see," Kin said. Best to play it safe and not say anything that could
set the group of nut jo... eccentrics off. By the gods, they were weird.

If

Heh

there was one thing she was relieved about, it was that her job, as shitty
as it was, was at least normal.

A woman on fire ran screaming past the table.

Kin: See?  Perfectly normal.

Kawada, much more clear-headed than anyone other than D'Amour, stood up

and

looked at the nearby large man that lay unconscious on the floor. "Are you
sure it's safe to drink something like that?"

D'Amour stared at him as though he was stupid for asking the question. "Of
course it'll be safe to drink. It's got alcohol in it."

Words to live by.

"Looks like she's going to make a run for it, boys," D'Amour warned.

"Give her a chance, captain," Brunt cautioned. "There's still hope. Wait

for

just one more pull."

"She's already run off the slack," Kawada pointed out.

Have an idea who this is...

Again the pole dipped again, this time more forcefully and the reel played
out some line.

'forcefully,'

The others at the table urged him to "reel her in". Kin initial instinct

was

to leave since no good could possibly come from this bizarre scene.

However,

driven by that strange aspect of human nature that makes people do things
they know they shouldn't do, like slow down to carefully examine car

wrecks

as they drive past, she merely stood where she was and watched in rapt
attention.

Seems like a perfect fit for the TWPOS.

Within a moment, Brunt's frantic reeling was rewarded by the creature at

the

end of the line being dragged from the back halls and into the open. It

was

a young Japanese girl in her late teens, wearing a blue top with black

pants

and a distinctive blue bandanna with black stripes wrapped around her
forehead. The line was attached to the heavy belt around her waist. She
wriggled panickedly in the direction she had come from, still trying to
fight off the pull despite losing her vertical base.

Well, that's one way to make sure a Hibiki doesn't get lost.

"You wanted to go the restroom. We tied a line to you to make sure you
didn't get lost." Kawada explained. "You did find the restroom, didn't

you?"

'lost,"'

Aki stared suspiciously at the glass. "What's this?"

"Hard liquor. It's even better for you than water since fish can't live in
it." D'Amour took a swig from his bottle to prove the point.

Never heard that excuse before...

"All right, all right," Aki willed the unconscious stand back into her,
ironically exerting more control over it than she ever had sober.

Not so ironic considering the stand is probably more drunk than her.

D'Amour rubbed his sore head. "What sort of a prostitute keeps hitting a
potential customer in the cranium when he's just testing out her wares to
see if she's worth the cost or not?"

"One with any modicum of standards, and I know damn well you'd never pay

for

She'd choose Jaddo in a heartbeat if it was between him and D'Amour.

Speaking of which, wondering how it would turn out if those two ever
met (D'Amour and Jaddo, that is).

sex, no matter how horny you are," Kin replied flatly. Much to her

surprise,

D'Amour had already shifted his attention to elsewhere in the room. When

she

saw where it was focused, she moaned, "You have got to be kidding me."

Ah, so she realizes who it was.

"Is he going to do what I think he's going to do to who's standing over
there?" Frog asked.

"Looks that way to me," Brunt confirmed. "No way he knows who it is; he's
paying too much attention to that butt."

"A good and responsible crew would warn him of this potentially life
threatening situation he is about to place himself in," Kawada pointed

out.

And considering it's D'Amour's life it's threatening, they're gonna do
what any sane member of the TWPOS would do.

"Agreed," Aki said. She looked her compatriots over one at a time. "Then
it's settled?"

All of them nodded in agreement. Somewhat more sobered by the turn of
events, they relaxed in their chairs, took one simultaneous gulp, and

waited

for the fun to start.

Thought so ^_^

D'Amour was on the prowl. By staying low and using the patrons of the bar

as

cover, he had managed to sneak his way across the floor and avoided
detection by his prey. It was about time something went his way. Every

woman

he had hit on at the bar had either slapped his face, punched him in the

gut

if they had already slept with them, or poured their drink on his head.

'slept with him,'

Actually the last wasn't quite so bad as he could then lick the excess off
his face for a semi-free drink. Every drop was sacred, after all.

Heh

But now, he had hit the jackpot. Never had he seen a derriere so perfect.

It

had to be his. The plan for gaining it was simple. Grab the bottom to show
how interested he was in the woman, have her agree to sleep with him, and

if

he was lucky, persuade her to pick up his bar tab too. It would be a dream
date for both of them. All he needed was a couple more steps...

*Ginrai notices that there was nothing about commitment or marriage in
there*

her long, flowing blue-green locks. He heard the gasps of the woman's two
compatriots, no doubt in awe over his own incredible good looks. Who knew,
if they were lucky, he might talk his newfound catch into a foursome.

More than likely they'd be too much into each other to take note of
D'Amour in bed (that's if he's still alive at that point).

It was time to make his move. He brought his head down low enough to give

a

throaty whisper in the woman's ear, "Hey there, beautiful," as he grabbed
her bottom. It felt just as divine as he had dreamed.

It won't in a few seconds...

assailant's face. The hand stopped dead in mid-air. "You?" the woman said

in

a quiet voice.

Would Lao say that as a question or statement?

"AHHHH!" D'Amour shouted at the top of his lungs as though he had awakened
one morning to find himself married. He somehow scurried away from the

woman

and back to his table in the span of a heartbeat, not turning around the
entire time, unwilling to look away from the person upon which he had
committed his unspeakable act.

Probably starting to retract all his recent thoughts.

Madame Lao Cane, the former Amazon turned pirate, slaver, mistress of
debauchery, and marauder of the oceans of the world in her magically

cursed

ship the 'Piece of Junk,' was not amused in the least to discover that the
nearest thing to an arch-nemesis (pitiful as that was when one realized it
was a moron like D'Amour), had just fondled her bottom as though she were

It is surprising that he ends up being her arch-nemesis, though he is
as good as her when he tries.

sun. So many means of punishment to choose from, but not for D'Amour.

Death

was too simple and easy for the likes of him, and that was before he

grabbed

her bottom. Oh no, she would have to get creative with the lecherous
buffoon. A torture that would have him cursing her for years with the
slightest memory of it. Something to give pain for a lifetime.

Lao: And castrating him is too easy...

Lao's compatriots, Blossom and Lotus, backed away as their captain leveled
an accusatory finger at D'Amour. "You stupid fool! For having the audacity
to touch me in such a familiar manner, you've sealed your fate! I will see
to it that you know nothing but unending torture and unrelenting pain for
the rest of your miserable existence! I will have you begging for death as
I-"

"AHHHH!" D'Amour screamed again as he held the hand that had groped Lao's

There was no way she was going to be able to finish her speech ^_^

bottom as though it had been burned. "Slut butt! Slut butt! I touched slut

'touched' or 'touched a' (?)

butt! Quick, get me disinfectant! No! Wait! Steel wool! The skin has to

come

off! There's no telling what horrible diseases I'll get from a butt as
skanky as that!"

Hehehehe

Lao's eyebrow began twitching. "Excuse me, but I was the one defiled

here."

"Ha! As though there's anything alive that is capable of defiling 'The

Slut

of the Seven Seas'," D'Amour said.

Heh

The second eyebrow joined the first. "What did you just say?"

"What's the matter, herpes make you deaf? I'm telling you I'm the one

that's

been molested here. It's obvious I've been set up by you. Honestly, going

to

all of the trouble of following me here."

"I had no idea you were here until you grabbed me!" Lao shouted in open
disbelief.

"Disguising yourself so I wouldn't recognize you."

"I'm not wearing a disguise!"

"And then worst of all, you engage in this pathetic scheme to try and grab
my attention. Confess, Laosy, you padded those pants to hold up that saggy
ass of yours just to trick me into fondling it, didn't you?"

"MY PANTS ARE NOT PADDED, AND MY BUTT IS NOT SAGGY, YOU MORONIC

SIMPLETON!"

Hehehehehe

Great scene ^_^

"Wow! The veins that are popping out of her forehead look just like my map
of naval lanes. They even criss-cross over one another," Aki commented

from

her seat as she continued drinking and watching the show, silently rooting
for Lao.

Everyone probably is.

"-if he defeats her in combat-"

"-he'll be her husband and could become our next captain," Lotus finished
with a shudder. "My loyalty to Lao only goes so far."

It would probably be more torturous for D'Amour than anyone else.

was no one, living or dead, who could make Lao as angry as D'Amour.

Despite

the Casanova's seeming incompetence, he had somehow managed to avoid being
killed by the numerous people that despised him for quite a number of

years.

Blossom held to the opinion that it was better to be lucky than good.
Sometimes she wondered if D'Amour wasn't the luckiest one of all.

More than likely he is.

Trying to seize control of the situation, Blossom moved next to Lao and

made

a great production of looking at her watch. In exaggerated tones, she

cried

out, "Oh dear me, look at the time. We have to get back to the ship and
break in the latest shipment of captives. We do have a contract to sell a
dozen fully trained sex slaves to Mr. Deprayve by the end of the month."

Beginning to wonder if they ever made a shipment to D'Amour earlier on.

D'Amour squared his shoulders to Lao. He pulled his blue manteau back in
dramatic fashion, allowing the elaborate golden hilt of his sword to glint
off the dim light of the bar. "There's nothing I hate more than a skanky
dyke that enjoys smacking women around."

"I thought you said there's nothing you hate more than not having either
women or alcohol within arm's length," Brunt mentioned.

For some reason I believe Brunt's telling the truth...

"Nonsense," D'Amour said smoothly.

"I remember you saying it, too," Frog said.

"No, I didn't."

'No I' - I don't think the comma is necessary.

"I'm afraid you do. Pretty much every time there isn't either a drink or a
woman within arm's reach," Kawada corrected.

"You're ruining the effect," D'Amour hissed under his breath.

So much for impressing any of the other girls.

The two met halfway across the room, the sound of hand meeting flesh

mixing

with the whir of a blade slicing through the air. Each person continued on
as though nothing had happened, stopping only when they reached the place
the other had started. They both turned and smirked at the other.

Reminds me of how most battles end in Utena.  Well, other than for the
smirk.

Lao placed a hand to her mouth and laughed. "It's over, you pompous twit.

I

hit a dozen of your pressure points. Within five seconds every muscle in
your body will seize up, leaving you paralyzed and at my utter mercy. And

I

have no mercy for the likes of you."

A resounding cheer rose from D'Amour's crew.

Heh

Lao laughed again. "Even your own crew despises you. What a pitiful man

you

are."

D'Amour chuckled. "They're just hacked off because I'm a little behind in
paying them their wages."

A little behind?

"No, it's because we don't like you," Aki assured him.

D'Amour shook his head. "That's what your lips say, but I know it's just a
perverse form of affection you guys have for me. You just can't bring
yourselves to admit that you like me."

"No, we really hate you," Kawada insisted.

Hehehehe

Again, D'Amour shook his head. "A little jealous, perhaps, but who could
blame you? I am insufferably charming, handsome, and dashing. Observe." He

I'm amazed at how he doesn't realize the level of which his crew hates
him.

spun around and grabbed Lotus before she could react. He brought her mouth

Two straight sentences starting with 'he'

Might want to change the second.

up to his and gave her a deep, passionate kiss. After several seconds, he
broke it off and gave a gleaming smile to her. "How was that?"

Lotus slapped him hard enough to spin around so that he was facing Lao
again.

D'Amour: It's obviously love at first sight.

Lao: How can you say that?!

D'Amour: She didn't kick me in the balls.

"Obviously she has been brainwashed by that corrupt pirate whore into

hating

all men." D'Amour tried rubbing his jaw to get some feeling back in it.

"Wait a minute," Brunt said. "It's been more than five seconds. How come

the

captain's still moving?"

Because she tried the wrong pressure point technique.  Should have gone
for the one that would make him only react to men ^_^

D'Amour placed his hands on his waist and laughed. "That's because I'm
immune to Lao's petty, little pressure point tricks."

'petty little' - I don't think the comma is necessary.

"Impossible!" Lao shouted. "Nothing human could resist my technique, not
even you."

"I have a blood alcohol level of .35. I can do anything. BWHAHAHAHA!"

You can't compete against that ^_^

Lao's battle aura tripled in intensity as she prepared for another charge.
"This time I go for the kill, you miserable, brainlessly stupid sh-"

Casually, D'Amour snapped his fingers. In response, every stitch of Lao's
clothing fell to the floor in a dozen pieces.

Damn, he's good!

"I don't see either padding or sag there," Brunt commented thoughtfully as
he got a perfect view of Lao's posterior. His three companions were forced
to agree.

Heh

D'Amour held his weapon before him. "Laosy, my sword's so sharp, it can

even

cut water." He swung it once in dramatic fashion before advancing slowly
upon her again.

That sword's shown to do many things.

Lao backed cautiously away. This was not going the way it was supposed to.
Not at all. He was just a lecherous buffoon. Women he offended struck him
all the time. She was one of the world's most dangerous martial artists.

He

should have been an easy mark. There should have been a hundred ways she

That's what they say about Happosai...

Ignoring her, he shouted to the room, "Listen up everyone. I did not lose
this fight. It is officially a draw, and anyone that doesn't like that, I
don't care."

"What's wrong!"

He shot her in evil glare "As if you didn't know."

"I don't! Tell me!"

D'Amour: I'm somehow... responding... to _you_!  Must... run to
bathroom and get rid of shame!

(D'Amour runs to the bathroom, leaving behind a seething Lao)

D'Amour crossed his legs. "You obviously manipulated my body chemistry in
such a way that you made me have to piss really bad. I mean really, really
bad. My back teeth are floating here. I hate you."

Hehehe

Lao's shaking became uncontrollable. "You have to piss really bad because
you drank over ten bottle of booze, you lecherous scumbag!" To emphasize

her

'ten bottles'

point, Lao began hurling the bottles from his table at him. D'Amour ducked
and dodged out of the way of each  bottle, making certain he was heading

'each bottle' - Spacing

"We could probably whack him in the head while he's relieving himself and
grab him," Lotus offered half-heartedly.

Lao held up her hand, signaling an end to that line of thought. "No. We

head

back for the ship. I've had a rough night."

Wonder why she didn't go for it.

"She left," Brunt told him

'him.'

D'Amour snapped his fingers. "Damn! Just as I was about to spank her

pirate

whore bottom. Nah, on second thought, the twisted little dyke would

probably

enjoy it. That was probably her plan all along, but she'll never get an
ounce of pleasure from me."

Though the fact that he suggested that...

"Oh, really?" Frog leaned in close to the captain. "Are you sure this

isn't

some perverse form of attraction you have for her and are just unwilling

to

admit it, so you insult her instead? You did think she had the perfect

butt

right up until you realized it was her."

Works in the Ranma universe ^_^

D'Amour chuckled, then leaned in closer in response. "Want me to show you
this trick I learned? It's called, 'A frog's arms and legs fall off due to
sharp edge trauma'."

Frog: Denial is the first sign of love.  You even said that...

(A minute later)

Frog: Let me down, captain!  I was just joking!

"I was just having a good joke with you sir! HAHAHAHA!" Frog forced out,
hoping the captain was joking. It was hard to tell sometimes.

Heh

Luckily for Frog, the ship's helmsman, Shelby, entered the bar. He

appeared

excited, and D'Amour quickly waved him over. "What is it, man? Tell us."

So he's still around (I think the last we saw of him, he was thrown
overboard by D'Amour).

It took Shelby a moment to catch his breath. "Well, sir, it appears one of
the crew escaped. She apparently saved a bunch of lamb phlegm from the
Swede's Mutton Surprise for lunch, and used that to squeeze through her

Tasty...

"Every ship needs a hostess!" D'Amour exclaimed. He knew how to captain a
ship. He had watched every episode of 'Love Boat' twice. He had even seen
the new version that had popped up decades later, though Robert Urich was

no

Captain Stubing.

A bit of a review on the newer version of the series? ^_^

The entire group huddled together in concern. Brunt looked at his watch.

"We

have to leave in the next hour. Who can we possibly get to take her place

in

that amount of time left?"

It was at that moment, Kin came up to the table and cleared her throat,

Is the first comma necessary?

getting everyone's attention. "Is there anything else you're going to need
tonight?"

Talk about awful timing ^_^

Six pairs of eyes looked at her with the same relieved stare, a stare that
lay above six identical smiles. A creeping sensation crawled up the length
of Kin's spine.

"We just need one more thing before we head out," D'Amour said.

"Yes?" Kin asked.

"One waitress to go."

And the world went dark for Kin.

She should have ran when she had the chance.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I've been shanghaied!"

"Yes, from Shanghai. Very appropriate, that."

Heh

"Excuse me," D'Amour held up a warning finger. "We do not use such

offensive

terms as 'kidnapping' here. We are a racially diverse crew, and as such we
must remain aware of one another's different cultural needs. In the name

of

racial sensitivity, we prefer you use the term, 'Freedom Impaired'."

Hehehehe

Kin felt like crying. Out on the open sea, there was no hope of escape.

She

was trapped even worse than in the Phat's bar. Already she smelled like
fish, just like the ship did.

She's afraid of getting used to it.

Seeing she was still resistant, D'Amour let out a reluctant sigh, "All

'sigh.'

right. Since I need you, I'll make you an officer of the ship instead of
normal crew."

That briefly perked Kin up. "Including a salary?"

She should know better.

"Yes," the words had to be pulled from D'Amour's mouth.

'"Yes." The'

"When will I get paid?"

"Infrequently," Aki said flatly.

"How much will I be making?"

"The captain doesn't really hold to the theory that there's a minimal

amount

of money people need to survive," Kawada informed her.

Kin's shoulder's slumped even further.

She should have seen that coming.

D'Amour tried again to improve her spirits. "But you'll get full benefits.
We have a world class Swedish chef in our galley. Every meal is

delicious."

Was he based on the chef from the Muppets?

"True, just don't ask what the stuff he serves is actually made of until
after it's fully digested," Frog told her.

Heh

"Why?" Kin asked.

"It's rather exotic," D'Amour supplied quickly.

"Only if you consider dolphin colons and monkey tongues exotic. And I know
I'll never look at an ostrich's balls the same way ever again," Frog added
morosely.

Frog: And then there was the chocolate mousse...

Quick to retake the initiative, D'Amour said, "Our medical staff is headed
by a brilliant world-renowned doctor that can cure anything."

"Unless it involves an open wound, in which case you're better off getting

Heh

checked out by the ship's exotic dancer, who's probably more knowledgeable
about medicine than the doctor in any case," Brunt pointed out.

Kin felt what little hope she had diminishing.

She actually had hope?

"And then there's the best benefit of all, one you can't get at any other
job in the world." D'Amour said, teeth gleaming.

'world,"'

"What's that?" Kin asked.

"You can have sex with me any time you want."

Hehehehe

The others grabbed Kin before she was more than halfway over the railing.

And here I thought she was gonna try a last-ditch effort at killing him
^_^

Realizing there was no hope for the moment, Kin reluctantly agreed to

serve

as ship's hostess, but only until the opportunity to escape presented

'as the ship's'

itself. The others seemed to accept that and left her alone, except

Kawada,

who hung behind a moment.

'behind for a moment.' - I think.

"There's no way in hell I'll stay on this ship one moment longer than I

have

to."

Kawada laughed. "That's what they all say, and for most it's true. But

every

now and then someone ends up staying even when the opportunity to escape
presents itself. They'll make excuses and bitch and moan constantly, like
Frog and Forlorn, our councilor, but for some odd reason they never find

it

in their hearts to leave. It's like the crew is as much a jigsaw puzzle as
this cobbled together ship, and some of us are pieces that fit in the

right

way to complete the puzzle. Usually, I'm good at noticing when the pieces
fit. Sykes didn't. You do. Just thought you should know. Bye now."

Kin: Wait!  So that means you've had a chance to escape and didn't?

Kawada: (Shakes head) Nope, never had a chance at all to leave this
damn ship.  Now goodbye!

(He runs off before she can say anything else)

As Kawada left, for a moment, Kin considered making for the railing again,
but for some odd reason plunging to her death didn't hold the appeal it

had

a moment ago. Instead, she felt a little more at ease after the first

mate's

'a minute ago' - Since 'a moment' was used earlier in the sentence.

As Kin headed to her room, she paused, and took a hard look at the deck of
the worn and rusty vessel that was her temporary prison. "If you think for
one second that I belong in this mix of fools, incompetents, and lecherous
bastards, you have another thing coming. I am normal, do you hear me? I'm
not like them."

Which perfectly explains why she's talking to the ship.

Kin nearly staggered as she realized what she had done in reproaching an
inanimate object. In less than two days the ship and crew had taken its

toll

on her sanity. What was she going to be like in a week? Or a month?

Probably the same.  Just used to the ship.

"I don't belong here," Kin insisted quietly. And for just a moment, right

on

the edge of her hearing, she thought she could hear a soft, feminine

giggle

that she would have sworn came from the ship itself. Worse, she somehow

knew

the giggle was directed at her. Kin let out a sigh of surrender and headed
directly to her room. No. Somehow, she knew it was not merely a room.

It was her new home.

(Upon entering her new home, Kin notices D'Amour on her bed, naked and
ready for action.  She immediately kicks him out of her room and throws
his clothes out her window)

Kin: (Shouting) This is going to happen everyday, isn't it?!


Umm... Better late than never? ^_^;

Scary thing is that I've been slower with some C&C for Brian...

Overall, a very funny fic.  Nice to read about D'Amour and the rest of
the TWPOS crew again.  Hope you have ideas for other fics that will
involve them.

Ginrai
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